Put down the booze and pick up those DEWS cuz the JERKS are UP ALL NIGHT with this one.
Prepare yourself for Hustler Presents: The Glass Stool Cast; Featuring Horny and Lena (AKA Hans and Casey breakdown a religious Mountain Dew Cast) Enjoy guys! No seriously we mean GUYS! ONLY GUYS! This is a GUYāS GUY podcast for GUYS who like GUYS, GUYS!
āAre you there God? Itās me DEW.ā
āGet outta here Uncle Hamlet!ā
āShow Jerk Practice, Ep HEALTHY Ladies in BIG Church - Aug 31, 2022
If you take one thing away from this weekās episode, let it be this: āBeaches are for Maniacs, and Swirls are for Suckers!ā
Listen in as the JERKS discuss the weakness of wacky wedding photos, āFun Dip: Oops! All Sticks!,ā and why poor peopleās favorite food is popcorn.ā
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Bat Boy Turns 50!
Episode 253 - Baboon, Tickle, Kiss
Hey fellow JERKS Be sure to follow us on Instagram here @jerkpracticeĀ
Crack those sweet World War I flavored sodas, and check your palms for tears cuz this one is salty⦠The JERKS are talkinā human meat versus horse meat, Karl Baboonsram, and how pipe-layers make their paychecks (wink)
Ā āThe caustic oil from my body are ruining this machinery!ā
Ā āItās got a naked grandmother on the front and itās called āTonyās Boy.āā
Holey Schmagoley! Captain Cotterās ghost made sure that this episode is āOops! All Bronx.ā
Welcome to the Crag Show! Staring such topics as questionable Cousin Fratelliās, Wig nā Hat shows starring over the hill middling sketch comics, and Vietnamese briefs.
āShow Jerk Practice, Ep Forrest %$#* has a big @!^& - Jul 20, 2020
H and C are in the Domain-Basement, but they are climbing their way out with talk of Gumpās secret treasures, underwear band-masks, and the Washington OKās.
Well, itās finally time. Time to get a GD job, and by job I of course mean fill the synthetic void that exists under the infamously tapped jerkpractice.com. Oh what to do? One must seek perfection. One must seek comic enlightenment. One must be Kaufmanesque for Godās sake. For SAGANās sake! No no no one must flow and fill, flow and fill. For you see if context is key, then content is critical. So look for blogs you boobs. Look for promotions you plebes. Links you turds. But donāt look for perfection it does not exist. It is a pseudo-finish line. It is the synthetic void. Iām sorry I called you turds, it seemed harsh. I really donāt like that word. It has a sharp stink to it. I donāt like. Either way, my put-downs are endearments as long as you are JERKS. And to the JERKS thereās no looking back now. Thereās love. And thereās nothing you can do about it.
This has been the prologue to the promise of a new and improved jerkpractice.com. Come back wonāt you. Weāll be here. Waiting for you. With bells on. Zinc bells.
Episode 70 -Ā āLetās all go to the F$&% BAR!ā
Sing it with us! āRemember Nine-Eleven, There were two towers now theyāre both in heavenā... OK stop! You were way flat! Maybe itās cuz you were munchinā on that goddamned onion! Anyway, we forgive you, and hope you enjoy listening to episode 70. The jerks are joined together by sweet sitcom bumpers, as they discuss Surfinā magma, the end of the Ole and Lena era, and The Ice Bridges of Belizean County...
āIf Steven Seagal were Batmanā...
āOur Chauvie Tinā runneth over.ā
Itās cominā - probably aĀ ātwo-hander!ā
Um...Ā āputt, putt the ball?ā...
Henningās back from Belize!!!
āSeems like we got a new sponsor for divorce whiskey.ā
Time for a deposit in the Chum-P Bucket?..
āItās a dad joke!ā
Maybe theyāll get it right!
These guys did...
āIsnāt there just one big calendar?ā (Oh shit! There is!)
Time for a touch-up Charlie...
āLetās go to the FUCK BAR!ā
āGetĀ āem on the hour, every hour, FRESH nā HOT!ā
āI feel bad for the kidsā... Itās Senator Dad!
And finally, without further adieu, a skeeping heapfull of DEW!!!
Ā We love DEW and thereās nothing you can DEW about it.
The Jerks are down one Belizian Bunz Bruiser in Hen-Dog, but a classic H nā C might be just what the doctor ordered (except for Hans cuz he got scumbagged on health insurance #DadProblems). Let the Jerks offer you a mint Toilip, as they discuss Kevin Spacey snakinā their excuse, H loosing his arm to weaponized acne, and a reopening of Costner-Gate...
āCan we get you a mint toilip?ā
āCan a 3-D Printer make a bread bowl?ā
āitās like Back to the Future II!ā
āHeās the kind of kid that you just wanna throw on the bed, and give him an old tickle.ā
āI jerked off cuz Iām GAY!ā Welcome to the TIN Spacey! Listed!
Well itās time to start making my own Mountain Dew.Ā āHill Waterā[TM]
Another Million dollar idea.
āYou have weaponized acne!
Inspiration for the upcoming comic sequel toĀ āthe Wrestler.ā
JOKE JAIL!!!
āThe least Aquaman of all Aquamans!!!āĀ āWhoo! Whoo! Whoo!ā
āItās time for some fake allegations! Put me in coach!ā
Ā We love you and thereās nothing you can do about it.
Sorry the blog for this episodeās late... WEāRE GAY! Is that spicy?.. Who knows. Well, what do ya expect from a contributor to the famedĀ āPurple and Violet!?ā While it might be late... Itās also GrAYt! As Dr. T packs up for some southern life, thereās talk of crazed veterans, Bob Backlund, and Henningās flowery oils of wealth...
āLooks like Mike Pence put on a little weightā...
āI donāt want an Officer Seifel!ā (inside Watertown.. Just like the āBrent Retard Militiaā - SPICY)
Whereās our JP trading cards! (this would be a meta-two-for-one) Also grab Caseyās comic atĀ https://blue-juice-comics.myshopify.com/Ā Congrats VitC!
āWhen I look in the mirror I see Tom Hanks.ā
āWelcome to the Jizzler! How do you take your creams?ā (So this is what you get when you YouTubeĀ āmilk in condomā... but first you get some big olā boners! Seriously, some big olā boners!)
āWeāre takinā a knee for milk!ā
Kiss the diamond covered rings of your old manās fat white - Dr. B. Rage!
Itās noĀ āPurple and Violetā but...
Meet Meek Larvey!Ā āOnly Meek can save you money.ā
āHenningās bad joke got his friendĀ kicked out of student council!ā
āDonāt throw gluey condoms at a school!ā (Do THIS!.. Warning, donāt do any of this)
We canāt believe these are on the out. Thanks fer nuthinā Millennials!Ā
And with that, āSorry golf... Weāre GAY!ā
Ā We love you, and thereās nothing you can do about it.
Crossover Episode! - Hans and Henning Go to Night Court.
Hans and Hen go to NYC Night Court! Discover all of the shenanigans that the Jerks get into, as they regale Judge Casey and DA Ash about their tales of Dr. Toiletās visit to a bubble-tea factory, Henās horse-pick - the New York Matlock, and the history of the prefix -Ā āteleā...
Itās Dr. Toiletās Tijuana Bible!
Welcome to the world of Have a Good Night Court meandering... FromĀ āBaby Bullā to this:
āItās like when Urkel crash landed onto āJust the 10 of Us!āā (Remember how randy Patrick Duffy was? Gross!)
Forget Muldoons. Kung Fu Bubble-Tea is where itās at!Ā āItās like a free tour at a yogurt factory.ā -Ā āThe bubbles are made out of pig knuckles.ā
āWere they dressed like cops, or were they real cops?ā
Henās horse didnāt quite hit this status...
He did hit this one though...
So is it this?..
Or is it this?..
My Lawyer the Mom, this fall on ABC...
We saw some of this...
And definitely some of this!
Well with that, Henning goes 8, and Toilet goes 9... Have a Good Night... COURT! (The bailiff Bull-grip! Canāt wait!)
Ā Ā Ā We love you, and thereās nothing you (or the law) can do about it.
EpisodeĀ 65 - A Jersey Greek (CAR-POD, First and Last!)
Itās the first (probably last) of the travel-pod series! Maybe the next one will be on a harrier Jet, for that sweet sky sound serenade in the background. But life on the road is a ramblinā ride, and if you hop onto this one youāre sure to find some Jersey Greek gold!
But first, and appetizer of H and C, as they talk of their new venture - scrap-metal straight razors!
āI sunk all my savings in this brush-horse!ā
āI know people who make their own knivesā... (This guy! Amazing!)
āfind pieces with nails inĀ āem and putĀ āem here.ā
Classy!!! (this is actually a Dr. Toilet must have)
Beats a Bowie-knife we suppose...
Ahh, the scumbummery of Pepsi Points...Ā
Check out the story of PIZZA.COM, then realize that some scumbum didnāt even get one of these for his domain-BUDWEISER buy...
And now onto the CAR-POD!
āWhatās a hot road band?ā
āWhat do you get when you go against Trump?ā...
Now weāreĀ āHanginā with Mr. Jeeves!ā
Erin v. Aaron? āI feel like weāre glossinā over the underwear theft.ā
Some Jerk-sour cominā soon...
Get outta here Wanda!
The Jersey Greek!
Yeah. Henning knows Easton, AND its chili flavored creams...
Make sure to Gorgle āHuge California,ā Healthy Maine,āĀ āMontana the meatiest state,ā and...
And we leave you with...Ā āHEY! HEY! TURN IT DOWN BACK THERE! WEāLL TURN THIS BLOG AROUND!ā
Ā Ā Ā We love you, and thereās nothing you, or the road, can do about it.
Itās the thrilling conclusion to Episode 64! Letās see where did we leave off?.. Hmm ah yes, Paula Deen was throwing a turkey leg at Hitlerās brother, Ron, while John Lennon tooted on a Jay ... OK welp, jeez where do you go from there. Ahh we know! How about we go after those Greeks and their Top-Tanked Toilets? Go for it Henning, King of Filth! Get those gravity flushers!
āOh thatās just Jeeves, my hose-man.ā
Check out this great episode of the DOLLOP!
Check out this Spicy Italian!..
Stick to Soda Shaq!
āSagan would bless us with THC oil.ā
Itās Vodkey the Drinkinā Car! [TM]
āNo meat, no fish, / Just beans and riceā... (warning: the cutest)
Then, the natural enemy... (warning: HORRIFYING)
He was also a āTaz-man.ā (and masturbated in a pool hall)
āHey, thatās a small turkey-leg.ā
āItās fuckinā Hawk ya nerd!ā
We love you, and thereās nothing you, or those damn owls, can do about it.
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