Jerk Practice Podcast

The JERKS get together and talk sketchy

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Put down the booze and pick up those DEWS cuz the JERKS are UP ALL NIGHT with this one.

Prepare yourself for Hustler Presents: The Glass Stool Cast; Featuring Horny and Lena (AKA Hans and Casey breakdown a religious Mountain Dew Cast) Enjoy guys! No seriously we mean GUYS! ONLY GUYS! This is a GUY’S GUY podcast for GUYS who like GUYS, GUYS!

“Are you there God? It’s me DEW.”

“Get outta here Uncle Hamlet!”

‎Jerk Practice: HEALTHY Ladies in BIG Church on Apple Podcasts

‎Show Jerk Practice, Ep HEALTHY Ladies in BIG Church - Aug 31, 2022

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https://hfreiwald.tumblr.com/post/693487147060264960/its-a-newie-and-a-goodie-out-now-episode-157

HFreiwald

It’s a NEWIE and a GOODIE! Out now! Episode 157 - Experience: Hosing Holes of Filth.

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‎Jerk Practice: Episode 256 - Featuring Elton Joan on Apple Podcasts

‎Show Jerk Practice, Ep Episode 256 - Featuring Elton Joan - Aug 17, 2022

The JERKS are giving out cokes to creatures and taking names (mainly “Joans” and “Joanie’s”)

In classic fashion, the JERKS hit all the topics: Joan’s, Joanie’s, Tone’s, Tony’s, Tony Johnnie’s, and of course “Dookie Love!”

“Inca Kola smells like Grandpa Joe!”

“Joanie is a boy’s name.”

“Joan is a man’s name.”

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Ep 255 - Smoked Creams

If you take one thing away from this week’s episode, let it be this: “Beaches are for Maniacs, and Swirls are for Suckers!”

Listen in as the JERKS discuss the weakness of wacky wedding photos, “Fun Dip: Oops! All Sticks!,” and why poor people’s favorite food is popcorn.”

“He might as well be a human joint.”

“I’m coming in $not.”

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Don those vegan minks Jerks, cuz this one’s brought to you by Queen Bey and the Pant-Ays!

‎Jerk Practice: An Honest Dill on Apple Podcasts

‎Show Jerk Practice, Ep An Honest Dill - Aug 3, 2022

Listen in is the JERKS list Anaerobic’s Syndrome, invent the Rodeo Buckle Hat™, and why their boots are always lousy with panties…

“It’s barely been two episodes since we talked about Alf.”

“Alf! No beers!”

#SoftOpen

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Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Bat Boy Turns 50!

Episode 253 - Baboon, Tickle, Kiss

Hey fellow JERKS Be sure to follow us on Instagram here @jerkpractice 

Crack those sweet World War I flavored sodas, and check your palms for tears cuz this one is salty… The JERKS are talkin’ human meat versus horse meat, Karl Baboonsram, and how pipe-layers make their paychecks (wink)

 “The caustic oil from my body are ruining this machinery!”

 “It’s got a naked grandmother on the front and it’s called ‘Tony’s Boy.’”

 “My wife don’t fart, she f$#%s.”

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Episode 252 - Ole, Lena, & ENOCH

 If you identify as lefse, then this episode is for you!

 Ole’s in the outhouse inside the kitchen, Lena loves left handed lutefisk, and Enoch only EATS SAUSAGE MADE FROM THE HORN OF THE METATRON!

 “We’re like an ant insulting a foot.”

 “If I’m getting’ paid, I’m shittin’ in my own house.”

 “We’re doing the lefse-belt baby!”

 #HornSausage “WaitingForOle

subscribe here jerks!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ole-lena-enoch/id1134252966?i=1000570590918

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Holey Schmagoley! Captain Cotter’s ghost made sure that this episode is “Oops! All Bronx.”

Welcome to the Crag Show! Staring such topics as questionable Cousin Fratelli’s, Wig n’ Hat shows starring over the hill middling sketch comics, and Vietnamese briefs.

“He blew 9-11 down his throat!”

“Oh right, well… he buried Kel.”

#TravoltaThreeSurgence

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Make sure to check out Episode 167 of the Jerk Practice Podcast to find out why this “Gray has rockin’ tits!”

Listen to the ep here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/joe-kenda-goes-wild-west/id1134252966?i=1000484714032

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‎Jerk Practice: Forrest %$#* has a big @!^& on Apple Podcasts

‎Show Jerk Practice, Ep Forrest %$#* has a big @!^& - Jul 20, 2020

H and C are in the Domain-Basement, but they are climbing their way out with talk of Gump’s secret treasures, underwear band-masks, and the Washington OK’s.

 “I got the mental corona”  

 “That Gray has a set of rockin’ &!&$”

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Get a Job or Get Outta the Domain-Basement!

Well, it’s finally time. Time to get a GD job, and by job I of course mean fill the synthetic void that exists under the infamously tapped jerkpractice.com. Oh what to do? One must seek perfection. One must seek comic enlightenment. One must be Kaufmanesque for God’s sake. For SAGAN’s sake! No no no one must flow and fill, flow and fill. For you see if context is key, then content is critical. So look for blogs you boobs. Look for promotions you plebes. Links you turds. But don’t look for perfection it does not exist. It is a pseudo-finish line. It is the synthetic void. I’m sorry I called you turds, it seemed harsh. I really don’t like that word. It has a sharp stink to it. I don’t like. Either way, my put-downs are endearments as long as you are JERKS. And to the JERKS there’s no looking back now. There’s love. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

This has been the prologue to the promise of a new and improved jerkpractice.com. Come back won’t you. We’ll be here. Waiting for you. With bells on. Zinc bells.

 Namaste (or Ha ha hamaste™?),

H-Face

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Episode 70 - “Let’s all go to the F$&% BAR!”

Sing it with us! “Remember Nine-Eleven, There were two towers now they’re both in heaven”... OK stop! You were way flat! Maybe it’s cuz you were munchin’ on that goddamned onion! Anyway, we forgive you, and hope you enjoy listening to episode 70. The jerks are joined together by sweet sitcom bumpers, as they discuss Surfin’ magma, the end of the Ole and Lena era, and The Ice Bridges of Belizean County...

“If Steven Seagal were Batman”...

“Our Chauvie Tin” runneth over.”

It’s comin’ - probably a “two-hander!”

Um... “putt, putt the ball?”...

Henning’s back from Belize!!!

“Seems like we got a new sponsor for divorce whiskey.”

Time for a deposit in the Chum-P Bucket?..

“It’s a dad joke!”

Maybe they’ll get it right!

These guys did...

“Isn’t there just one big calendar?” (Oh shit! There is!)

Time for a touch-up Charlie...

“Let’s go to the FUCK BAR!”

“Get ‘em on the hour, every hour, FRESH n’ HOT!”

“I feel bad for the kids”... It’s Senator Dad!

And finally, without further adieu, a skeeping heapfull of DEW!!!

  We love DEW and there’s nothing you can DEW about it.

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Episode 69 - Divorce Whiskey.

The Jerks are down one Belizian Bunz Bruiser in Hen-Dog, but a classic H n’ C might be just what the doctor ordered (except for Hans cuz he got scumbagged on health insurance #DadProblems). Let the Jerks offer you a mint Toilip, as they discuss Kevin Spacey snakin’ their excuse, H loosing his arm to weaponized acne, and a reopening of Costner-Gate...

“Can we get you a mint toilip?”

“Can a 3-D Printer make a bread bowl?”

“it’s like Back to the Future II!”

“He’s the kind of kid that you just wanna throw on the bed, and give him an old tickle.”

“I jerked off cuz I’m GAY!” Welcome to the TIN Spacey! Listed!

Well it’s time to start making my own Mountain Dew. “Hill Water”[TM]

Another Million dollar idea.

“You have weaponized acne!

Inspiration for the upcoming comic sequel to “the Wrestler.”

JOKE JAIL!!!

“The least Aquaman of all Aquamans!!!” “Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”

“It’s time for some fake allegations! Put me in coach!”

 We love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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Episode 67 – Sorry I’m late; I’m gay.

Sorry the blog for this episode’s late... WE’RE GAY! Is that spicy?.. Who knows. Well, what do ya expect from a contributor to the famed “Purple and Violet!?” While it might be late... It’s also GrAYt! As Dr. T packs up for some southern life, there’s talk of crazed veterans, Bob Backlund, and Henning’s flowery oils of wealth...

“Looks like Mike Pence put on a little weight”...

“I don’t want an Officer Seifel!” (inside Watertown.. Just like the “Brent Retard Militia” - SPICY)

Where’s our JP trading cards! (this would be a meta-two-for-one) Also grab Casey’s comic at https://blue-juice-comics.myshopify.com/ Congrats VitC!

“When I look in the mirror I see Tom Hanks.”

“Welcome to the Jizzler! How do you take your creams?” (So this is what you get when you YouTube “milk in condom”... but first you get some big ol’ boners! Seriously, some big ol’ boners!)

“We’re takin’ a knee for milk!”

Kiss the diamond covered rings of your old man’s fat white - Dr. B. Rage!

It’s no “Purple and Violet” but...

Meet Meek Larvey! “Only Meek can save you money.”

“Henning’s bad joke got his friend  kicked out of student council!”

“Don’t throw gluey condoms at a school!” (Do THIS!.. Warning, don’t do any of this)

We can’t believe these are on the out. Thanks fer nuthin’ Millennials! 

And with that, “Sorry golf... We’re GAY!”

 We love you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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Crossover Episode! - Hans and Henning Go to Night Court.

Hans and Hen go to NYC Night Court! Discover all of the shenanigans that the Jerks get into, as they regale Judge Casey and DA Ash about their tales of Dr. Toilet’s visit to a bubble-tea factory, Hen’s horse-pick - the New York Matlock, and the history of the prefix - “tele”...

It’s Dr. Toilet’s Tijuana Bible!

Welcome to the world of Have a Good Night Court meandering... From “Baby Bull” to this:

“It’s like when Urkel crash landed onto ‘Just the 10 of Us!’“ (Remember how randy Patrick Duffy was? Gross!)

Forget Muldoons. Kung Fu Bubble-Tea is where it’s at! “It’s like a free tour at a yogurt factory.” - “The bubbles are made out of pig knuckles.”

“Were they dressed like cops, or were they real cops?”

Hen’s horse didn’t quite hit this status...

He did hit this one though...

So is it this?..

Or is it this?..

My Lawyer the Mom, this fall on ABC...

We saw some of this...

And definitely some of this!

Well with that, Henning goes 8, and Toilet goes 9... Have a Good Night... COURT! (The bailiff Bull-grip! Can’t wait!)

     We love you, and there’s nothing you (or the law) can do about it.

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Episode 65 - A Jersey Greek (CAR-POD, First and Last!)

It’s the first (probably last) of the travel-pod series! Maybe the next one will be on a harrier Jet, for that sweet sky sound serenade in the background. But life on the road is a ramblin’ ride, and if you hop onto this one you’re sure to find some Jersey Greek gold!

But first, and appetizer of H and C, as they talk of their new venture - scrap-metal straight razors!

“I sunk all my savings in this brush-horse!”

“I know people who make their own knives”... (This guy! Amazing!)

“find pieces with nails in ‘em and put ‘em here.”

Classy!!! (this is actually a Dr. Toilet must have)

Beats a Bowie-knife we suppose...

Ahh, the scumbummery of Pepsi Points... 

Check out the story of PIZZA.COM, then realize that some scumbum didn’t even get one of these for his domain-BUDWEISER buy...

And now onto the CAR-POD!

“What’s a hot road band?”

“What do you get when you go against Trump?”...

Now we’re “Hangin’ with Mr. Jeeves!”

Erin v. Aaron? “I feel like we’re glossin’ over the underwear theft.”

Some Jerk-sour comin’ soon...

Get outta here Wanda!

The Jersey Greek!

Yeah. Henning knows Easton, AND its chili flavored creams...

Make sure to Gorgle “Huge California,” Healthy Maine,” “Montana the meatiest state,” and...

And we leave you with... “HEY! HEY! TURN IT DOWN BACK THERE! WE”LL TURN THIS BLOG AROUND!”

      We love you, and there’s nothing you, or the road, can do about it.

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Episode 64(b) - It’s f***ing hawk ya NERD!

It’s the thrilling conclusion to Episode 64! Let’s see where did we leave off?.. Hmm ah yes, Paula Deen was throwing a turkey leg at Hitler’s brother, Ron, while John Lennon tooted on a Jay ... OK welp, jeez where do you go from there. Ahh we know! How about we go after those Greeks and their Top-Tanked Toilets? Go for it Henning, King of Filth! Get those gravity flushers!

“Oh that’s just Jeeves, my hose-man.”

Check out this great episode of the DOLLOP!

Check out this Spicy Italian!..

Stick to Soda Shaq!

“Sagan would bless us with THC oil.”

It’s Vodkey the Drinkin’ Car! [TM]

“No meat, no fish, / Just beans and rice”... (warning: the cutest)

Then, the natural enemy... (warning: HORRIFYING)

He was also a “Taz-man.” (and masturbated in a pool hall)

“Hey, that’s a small turkey-leg.”

“It’s fuckin’ Hawk ya nerd!”

We love you, and there’s nothing you, or those damn owls, can do about it.