tempest

yesim suvari

[a-baldwin]

"Oh sweetheart," Axel began, patting at the guy's shoulder besides her. She'd been enjoying a jog that afternoon— the weather was nothing short of beautiful, to beautiful to spend locked away on some stair master at the gym. But she'd found her attention pulled away from the Slayyyter blaring from her airpods because of a guy who just so badly needed to let her know how beautiful she was. Which in itself was a kind gesture, but it was soon followed by how he had to take her dinner. That he was exactly what was missing from her life. "not in this lifetime. Or even the next, but you have yourself a good one." She said, before turning to the person who just jogged by. "The nerve of some of these guys."

[jesssuvari]

Jess had always been on the move, with something always on her schedule. It had always been that way since high school. She had always had a clear goal and plans for what she wanted to do and who she wanted to be, so she didn't have time to waste. Only a few select people knew that keeping busy was also her way of coping with her trauma, a form of blocking out the past by moving ahead, and one of those select people was the blonde she had almost passed by in her rush. Her best friend, if they could still be considered that given how awkward things had been left between them. There hadn't been some falling out but Jess had been in a bad spot and their lives just seemed like they were going in different directions at the time. And Jessie wasn't selfish enough to drag Axel down into her mess when she had so many good things going for her. "At least that one knew how to take no for an answer." She replied shyly. "He wasn't wrong though. You do look good."

[lachancegreg]

"Sounds like you might have something you want to get off your chest." Whatever mess she was in he was sure she would work her way out of it. She was just wired that way. Even if a solution wasn't obvious Jess had the brains to figure things out in half the time it took most other people. "You make me thankful I don't have more siblings," he admitted. Dev and Trevor were one thing, but at the end of the day he knew he wasn't responsible for them. It wasn't the same as what he'd had with Danny. "I wanted to be but we're not on the same page. I mean, we are on the same page with almost everything but the greaser issue. He said he needs more time and I'm... I don't want to keep waiting. I've been doing that. It's been years, you know? It's been years, and nothing is any different from when we were in high school, and I want to move forward. I want what your sister has. Maybe not tomorrow, but at some point I want to get married and settle down and have a few kids. I want a family, and I would've loved for that to be with Cam, but I don't want it to be with Joker. It sounds fucked up and maybe it makes me an asshole but I can't keep waiting for him to make moves and decide who he wants to be. I don't want to wake up five years from now in the same spot." So maybe his eyes were a little more red than they should've been, but it was dark and he would keep brushing it off for as long as he could. "You're underestimating how much someone can enjoy being in their own room, but I hear you."

[jesssuvari]

"Not really. Just been thinking how I haven't really slowed down since high school. Growing up all I wanted was a quiet life, I wanted to be comfortable of course, but I didn't need to make it big. And now Jade has that. That's not jealousy. It's just funny how life works sometimes, huh?" She couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. "Nah, but you have people you care about. People that losing would feel like the end of the world, right? That's just as bad." Jess nodded quietly to show that she was listening as he vented. By no means did she think she was the kind of person anyone should go to for advice but she did think she was a good listener, at the very least she didn't cast judgement so quickly without getting the whole picture. "Wow. You really had a whole vision of what you wanted. I mean, did you tell Cam all of this? And i'm not talking about just a general idea of you wanting a future with him. But all your wants and needs? Cause you're kinda shit at advocating for yourself sometimes, you know." She said with a smile reassure him they were in a safe space of sorts. As safe as a busy bar could be. "It doesn't make you an asshole to leave a situation that doesn't feel healthy to you, right now. Not that i'm calling your relationship toxic. But it's not gonna do you guys any favors if you stay together even though you're miserable deep down, you don't wanna end up resenting each other either." She leaned in to nudge his arm with her own. "What i'm trying to say is this is your time to figure out what makes you happy again. You're not gonna do that if you stay shut in from now on."

[saunderscasey]

"Yeah, heavy on the evil. You know I haven't tried that yet." She was doing a very Jess (bad) job at ignoring the matter of her going ghost but Casey wasn't in a rush, he could humor her. "I think there's still time for me to tell you that you look like shit if you want." Casey smiled, "I'm say it like I know I did worse at that age so I'm very aware he needs someone to keep an eye on him." He shook his head, "What the fuck did he do that he had to be bailed out? Guess he's your karma too." Casey furrowed his eyebrows but didn't say anything. He didn't understand why she would live in anything described as 'run down' when she was making the kind of money she was. He didn't expect her to live in a penthouse or her dad's mansion but she was still working for that money regardless of the way, why wouldn't she use some of it at least to improve her quality of life. "Two jobs on top of law school. No wonder you're stressed." He shrugged, "I guess yeah it's more than what I wanted, minus the getting out but that was good too. We miss you though, you should come see us soon. Is this boyfriend being good to you?" Casey was sure Jade knew more about him than Casey himself did. Really he only had the broad strokes like a name and the fact that he was some big deal greaser, which was surprising but he didn't consider Jess dumb, "Do I get to meet him? Or is he intimidated because I was your first love?" Casey smirked, unable to help make the ironic joke considering she could barely stand to be around him half the time when they were kids.

[jesssuvari]

For as much as both she and Casey liked to pride themselves on not bullshitting it seemed like neither of them could bring themselves to get to the point of his visit. Because she knew he didn't just happen to be in town, sure his work excuse seemed legit, but he had too many responsibilities on his plate to waste time hanging around Rosewood for no reason. "Coming from the guy wearing jeans so high waisted i'm surprised you're not walking around with a wedgie? I take no offensive. My sister lets you walk out of the house looking like someone's grandpa?" Jess sighed and nodded. "It gets to a point where we gotta just let them learn from their own mistakes eventually though." She pursed her lips. "My brother wants to act like some badass south sider then he's gotta learn to get out of shit on his own." She took note of the expression on his face when she divulged more details of her life. "Don't give me that look. It's not like I do anything with that money. I paid off my mom's bills and got her some new things. I donate to the domestic abuse programs and homeless shelters around here, you know shit that I know would help people that were in my family's situation back then. I'm not trying to be some saint either. I just don't want to take advantage of that money. It feels wrong." Her dad had done a lot of damage with his power and money and despite no longer getting to claim moral superiority she still felt the need to keep a balance. So she would keep making up for the damage that her family name left behind until she saw something better come from it. "Too much baggage here. I don't think leaving was your worst idea. Most of the people I grew up with left this place too. But yeah, maybe i'll visit when i'm done with school..." She trailed off, hoping her didn't see through her half assed agreement. "Please. You think i'd be dating him if he wasn't treating me good?" She asked in amusement, rolling her eyes when she realized he was trying to be protective of her. Though it wasn't as off putting as it would have been years ago. By now it felt like he had really earned a spot as an older brother figure in her life. "You can come by my place and ask him yourself."

[lachancegreg]

"He's on the list but I was actually thinking of your sister. She always seemed... fun. So I wouldn't be surprised. And if it was something like public intoxication whoever it is might deserve the pass." He shrugged again. He'd known the people in her inner circle at one point but things could've changed over the years. It could've been literally anyone but if they were calling her for help he figured it had to be one of her siblings or her boyfriend. "Then let him sweat it out and wait until the morning. Maybe he'll learn something and you won't have to give him 'the talk.' What? You've never met someone who's face gets red when they've been drinking?" He scoffed, straightening up to look at her again. "I don't know if I want that as a skill. But really, I'm fine. I had dinner with my parents which was about as fun as you'd expect, and I broke up with Cam, but I feel... steady. A little like I could use a few days alone in a dark room, but okay."

[jesssuvari]

"I think those days are long over for her. She moved out of Rosewood a while ago. She's all settled down, raising a family with her man. I actually think her life is more put together than mine's been lately." She sighed before quickly shrugging off the thought. "That's what I was thinking. Just needed confirmation that I wasn't being too harsh. I know I can overreact and get a little carried away when i'm mad. I do think he needs a good talking to, or a scare though.I don't want him thinking that trying to be all macho and starting fights is the only way to get respect, you know?" Jess snorted and scrunched her nose at his attempts at banter, thinking they could use some improvement but that had always been an endearing quality of his. "We must have different definitions of fine. Sorry to hear that. I thought for sure with you two being best friends and being together for so long that you were settled. But relationships are weird like that. That's why I always tried to avoid them like the plague." She shook her head. "Do not coop yourself up in your room all day. At least not for longer than a day or two. It can't feel good any longer than that."

[saunderscasey]

"That's pretty spooky because you look like somebody too. Only she would answer my calls and texts , hmmm you know her?" He asked with an easy smile that was a result of having eyes on her and seeing that Jess was okay - grumpy as ever apparently, but okay, at least outwardly. "You look stressed, what's up? Your sister and I were starting to get worried." He told her while he knocked his knee against hers, "She wanted to come too but she stuck around to keep an eye on Auggie. He's 16 but he's kind of devious when he wants to be, I don't trust him not to throw a party and get arrested or something. He says hi too. Also, you think I'm a hot shot? Pretty sure the bracelet you're wearing clears the cost of all of my camera equipment. "So what's up, why the radio silence from you lately?"

[jesssuvari]

"Oh, my evil doppelgänger? Have you tried her secretary? You might have to set up an appointment." Jess joked like she literally hadn't been staring down her phone a moment ago. "So you came to spy. Is that how you talk to women now? Might as well have told me I look like shit." She rolled her eyes but couldn't hold back a smirk from forming, knowing he could handle her sass. "You say like you two weren't doing the same kind of dumb shit at that age. Sounds like karma finally coming around. Tell him I said hi and that if needs to be bailed out one of these days to let me know. Apparently that's my thing now. I just had to do that with my brother the other day." She scoffed, nudging his arm with her elbow. "Nah. It was a gift from my boyfriend. I'm still living in a run down place in the south. And doing a couple of shifts at St. Elmo's part time. I don't really like to use the money from the business to splurge on myself. I'd rather put it into other things. But you, hey, you're doing your own thing. You got out of here, you're living out your dream, keeping your family comfortable. What's more successful than that?" She pursed her lips, thinking of a good reason why she wasn't communicating with him or her sister much lately other than not feeling like she had a place with them anymore. Because she knew he would just tell her that was stupid. "Just been busy. No news is better than bad news, isn't it?"

[saunderscasey]

Casey had never thought in his wildest dreams that he would leave Rosewood. He never thought that he would do much of anything beyond allow himself to be exploited and take care of his siblings so they never would, but he'd somehow found a path out. After his grandmother passed and all his siblings except for August were in college or trade school there wasn't much keeping him there in terms of roots so he and Jade left. He wasn't some rich, success but he could pay for everything he needed and his career as a photographer kept money rolling in so life was good more or less; it wasn't perfect but he was happy. That wasn't to say he kept Rosewood out of his mind completely. For one, Erica had elected to go to Ravenwood and for two, Jess was there.

The latter was the most prominent reason for his visit this time as her communication was lacking at best, and when she did respond to either himself of Jade, the things she said or rather how she said it didn't put their minds at ease. He took a weekend gig shooting a wedding and used it as an excuse to get eyes on Jess, "You know if you stare at that phone any more intensely, it might burst into flames. Hey, Jess," He said, his attempt at a lame introduction but it beat 'surprise'. @jesssuvari

[jesssuvari]

If it wasn't one problem she had to resolve it was another. When she had taken up her dad's business she didn't expect to be as hands on with it as she was. She thought she would just tag along in name, make sure business was settled within the group, and that Jade or Casey would take over. They knew more about the business and all the workers would have been in better hands with them than being pushed off on someone else who was gonna exploit them with no regard for their wellbeing. But then the two of them left and she wasn't nearly selfish enough as others believed that she would try to stop them, or try to drag them back in when shit went down hill with Alves. They were able to get out, they made a new life, and they seemed happy. And she was happy for them so she chose to leave her communication to a minimum. They didn't need any reminders of how miserable things could still be around Rosewood.

She had just finished a yelling match over the phone with a client, complaining about rates after the fact, reminding him of the piles of dirt she had on him if that was the game he wanted to play. So she wasn't in a very good mood when she heard someone trying to get her attention. "Not interested. Keep it moving." She remarked not even looking up to give the person attention, flipping them off for good measure, figuring it was someone just trying to talk her up. It wasn't until she heard them use her name that she looked up and realized it was Casey. "Weird. You look just like someone I used to know. That can't be though. He's off being a hot shot now. And knows better than to come back once you're out of here."

[lachancegreg]

"I wouldn't have held back even if we were dating," he pointed out, closing his eyes as he relaxed. "Because I feel like you might be constantly bailing people out and depending on who the person is I might be harder on them. Maybe I'm not that objective." He shrugged one of his shoulders. "If it was his first time a few hours, tops. If he's done it before then let him hang out for the night. And I'm fine. It's just one of those nights."

[jesssuvari]

"You say that but I don't buy it. You care too much about hurting other people's feelings." She said with a soft sigh, they were in completely different places in their lives from when they dated but Greg had never really changed despite how much the world wanted them to. She admired having the strength to do that. "Like my boyfriend, you mean? Cause I know how much of a fan you are of that group." She answered sarcastically before letting out a chuckle. "No. It's his second time. Which is why he already knows i'm gonna bail him out. That's why he's doing this shit. He's starting to believe there's no consequences to his actions. I have to shut that shit down now." She pursed her lips. "Mhm. You're fine but it looks like you've been crying so....You don't have to tell me anything. But your lying skills could use some work."

[smokingaceschw]

"I don't think it does beat it by a long shot but agree to disagree. But hey wonder no more, you are absolutely the side piece." If Jess wanted to fight a war with words that was her prerogative, he'd never been into defending himself or his actions it just was what it was, and if people got it that was nice but if they didn't…well they still respected him out of fear, it made no difference to him. She thought she was better than him he was sure but what was he supposed to do try to prove himself? Fuck that, it didn't do anything to improve anyone's quality of life. "Hey, whatever it's your brother. Mine is in law school so I don't have these kinds of problems. I could help him though, say the word it'll be just me, I can guarantee you that I wouldn't hurt him in any real way but I'd get the message across." Jess likely wouldn't take him up on the offer but that too was no skin off of his back. His smile grew wolfish because Ace knew he'd hit a nerve and he laughed in her face, "I think I've heard this song from you before. You gonna shit on me for not bringin' peace in the middle east yet either? I'll put it on my fuckin' to do list, Martin Luther Madame. If you don't see what I've improved since I took the keys to the kingdom you don't wanna and I ain't losin' no sleep over that."

[jesssuvari]

It made her laugh, amused at how insecure he seemed to her to feel the need to invalidate her relationship just to still have control in the conversation. "You hate that i'm still around, don't you? It just drives you crazy that there's someone in your circle you have no sway over?" Jess shrugged at his point, she wasn't gonna try to defend her brother's honor when he was doing the same shit she was telling Ace off for. "Right. I sit in the same classes. So I guess that makes you the burn out brother in your case. Cam's gonna make a good lawyer though. So I guess it's worth hitching yourself to his wagon, he'll keep you afloat." Jess did consider his offer for a moment, it would be so much easier to scare her brother into doing she wanted him to do then to try to lead his moral compass into doing the right thing. But it didn't feel right. And that actually wasn't a slight on Ace but her not wanting to turn into her father. He lead with fear too so that was something she would just never get behind. "No. Don't you get what i'm saying? He looks up to you. You and your crew. At this rate he would just end up falling in line to you. And I don't want him involved in any of this shit. Whatever. It's my business, i'll deal with it." She huffed. "So if i'm still bringing it up how much has really changed? I don't care about the rest of the world, Ace. Just our neighborhoods. You chose to take the lead here so yeah people are gonna question you. Look, if me or Polo came to you telling you we were having a kid soon would you think that was a safe choice? That the kid would have a better chance at having a normal life here now than any of us did?"

[lachancegreg]

"I feel like I'm the last person you should be asking for advice on this." Greg pointed out, finishing what was left of his beer before he leaned forward to rest his forehead on her shoulder. "No thanks. If I drink anymore I might just hit the tipping point and turn into one of those really depressing drunks and neither of us need that. Who was it this time?"

[jesssuvari]

"You're the perfect person to ask, actually. You're one of the few people I know who thinks objectively before forming your opinion. Plus now that we're not dating you have no reason to hold back." She winced when he leaned on her, worried he was about to fall over cause she wouldn't be able to keep him up. It seemed he was going through something judging by the amount he had drank and decided to pat his head in solidarity. "Why do you ask that like i'm constantly bailing people out? It's my brother. Just on his teen bullshit I guess. Better question, what's got you so down in the dumps?"

[smokingaceschw]

"I dunno, desperate, I guess." Ace blew air out of his mouth, pantomiming thinking good and hard, "Nah, but it seems to be goin' real well for you." He could care less about the judgement in her tone, it was his experience that more people took that faux superior tone with him than not, it hardly even registered to him anymore 9 times out of 10. "Alright first off jumpin' implies more than one person beatin' his ass and second you said scare him straight, you'd just have to have the kid think Polo would kick his ass." Ace chuckled, he remembered something like that from some of the younger greasers, "That was your brother huh?" He sounded like a bit of a pussy to Ace, "You should tell him that if he's gonna pull a blade on somebody he better damn well use it, yeah it was a Richie but if whoever the little motherfucker is thinks he's all talk he might try to retaliate on him to look tough." That was how Ace's mind worked, he would rather neutralize a threat then rest on trusting no one would be coming for him. "But no you're right, more people around here should live by your example. Less violence, more human trafficking."

[jesssuvari]

"Beats people only showing me respect out of fear. How is being Rosewood's resident Boogeyman working out for you these days?" She asked with a smirk, matching his energy. She didn't care so much about proving herself to him she just didn't like anyone thinking they had the upper hand on her. "Yes because I know how you guys operate. Where there's one of you there's usually more of you. You're like some package deal. Sometimes I wonder if i'm the side piece to your relationship with each other." She rolled her eyes. "Anyways I think he'd piss off Polo enough to actually kick his ass. He's got a big head cause he's won a couple of scraps. And he thinks he's untouchable cause i've got his back. Which he's right about." Jess pursed her lips at the thought, at the idea of having people who made her weak and that they would take advantage of that. "The kid's not gonna retaliate. All these rich kids know how to do is flaunt their money. At worst he'll get his Karen mom to sue." Her jaw clenched at Ace's next jab, her other line of work being a sensitive subject for her. "No, because I don't advertise what i'm doing as something that's making the south side better. And all of my people can leave whenever they want, without giving blood for it. You talk about cleaning things up around here, making it safer for future generations. And there's still kids falling into the same cycle of violence because now they think that's equal to power."

[smokingaceschw]

"I'd beat the shit outta him until he got the message that jail was the least scary option out of me and it." Ace told her casually while he took a sip of his whiskey. It wasn't completely true because while he would have done that a few years back he'd probably try a different avenue now, especially if it was a matter of his nephew but Jess didn't need to know that. "Polo's your man and you really can't think of anything that can be done to scare him straight? I'm set, you should drink it though, letting the little fucker sweat ain't gonna hurt. What'd he do?"

[jesssuvari]

"Why did I even ask you? Of course your approach is to throw hands first, ask questions later. Is there any conflict you've ever solved with your words instead of your fists?" Jess asked, full judgement in her tone but that was nothing new, at this point in knowing each other that was just how they spoke to each other casually. "I'm not sending Polo to jump his ass. He would never trust me again. As much as he pisses me off sometimes I am relived he still thinks of me for his one phone call." She decided to take a sip of the drink, hoping it would calm her a bit. "Something about some kids throwing a house party on the south side and some richies showing up. I guess he got into it with one of them and the dumbass pulled out a knife. Cause why not I guess? That's the example they've had to lead by around here."

[jesssuvari]

"Say, hypothetically, someone you care about a lot called to get bailed out of jail. How long should you leave them in there to teach them a lesson? I'm kinda running out of options other than scaring them straight." Jess lamented to the person next to her at the bar, looking down at the drink she ordered and hadn't even touched as she contemplated what kid of a sister she needed to be now that her brother was old enough to be his own menace to society. "Here. You want this? I probably shouldn't show up to the station buzzed."

[polomikami]

Polo didn't like Jess scared, it was unnatural, and he knew she didn't like when they didn't have a plan. She always had a plan, that was her thing. This time it was just one huge question mark; neither of them were prepared for a baby. It could be argued he could barely keep himself alive, let alone a child. Not that he didn't have any faith in Jess either, but he couldn't imagine there was room in her life plan for this bump in the road. She liked plans, she liked schedules, she liked being in control. Having a pregnancy test staring them down on the counter was definitely the furthest thing from the plan, whatever that was.

"You know I got you," he murmured when she kissed him, finding it hard to circle back to his usual, lighter demeanour, too caught up in his head trying to figure out what answer he wanted the test to give. Then she started trying to manhandle him out of the bathroom and it was just the jolt he needed to bring his grin back in full force. "Aw shit, you're gonna waste it all on the stick?" He wanted it on the record that he wasn't actually into piss play but he wouldn't be him if he wasn't making a joke about it when presented the chance. As much as he didn't want to leave her alone he figured it was one of those things a person would need a minute to process so he didn't argue when the bathroom door was shut in his face. For what might have been the first time ever he was actually a good boy, taking himself out to the couch to wait until he was called upon again.

It almost felt too dangerous to talk when she joined him, the test on the table in front of them like a ticking time bomb. Whatever it was about to tell them had the potential to blow his entire life up. What was he supposed to do? Give up the gang and get a safe job? Nah, that wouldn't change anything. The people that wanted him in the ground would see to it whether he was in or out, which hardly made him a god choice for fatherhood. He didn't move as the timer went off, grasping at one last moment of freedom, convinced his story was about to take a hard turn toward the mundane. "Oh thank fuck..." Polo supposed he had his answer then, when he was hit with such a massive wave of relief as he leaned in to look at the test and saw a clear negative result. He all but tackled Jess back onto the couch, holding her whether she would admit she needed it or not. "I meant what I said, I'd do whatever needed to be done but uh, I'm cool if we tighten up on birth control for a bit."

[jesssuvari]

The strangest thought had crossed her mind in that small span of time before any answer had been confirmed, if her mom had been this scared before finding out Jess was coming into her life. If she'd had any regrets about how things had happened, having been so young and knowing she was going to be tied to a piece of shit for the rest of her life, since she couldn't imagine her father offered any real support even back then. Not that she necessarily believed either her or Polo were pillars of moral superiority, she had tried going that route until she had realized that taking the high road didn't get shit done when you were up against people with no principles. Still, they knew where to draw the line. They were aware when it was time to be these rough shadow figures of the Rosewood underworld and when to just be there for each other, to be this couple who was this stupidly in love with each other they would do whatever they had to in order to make a peaceful future for themselves.

There was no better reminder of what they were fighting for than moments like these, when he brought levity back into her heart, enough to make her laugh despite crying just a few minutes ago, and held her in his arms like armor reminding her that he was there to protect her. She was sure knew she could handle whatever challenges were thrown her way on her own if she had to, but he had made it clear by now that he wouldn't let her if he had any say. Sometimes she worried that it was making her soft to depend on him like she was now. But she had won all her battles so she was perfectly happy just letting herself be happy for now.

After a while of leaning into his embrace she started nudging at his side with her elbow, playfully fighting to get out of his hold. "Okay, time to get off. Before you turn me into a pancake." She laughed as she playfully slapped at his arms and maneuvered around so she was straddling his lap, not trying anything cheeky, she just wanted to stay close but this time be the one to hold him. "Good call. And you know the most effective and cost efficient birth control is taking a long vow of abstinence." She said, with a hint of challenge to her tone, knowing that suggestion wasn't gonna fly with him. She sighed, letting go of all the stress that had built up since she had taken the pregnancy test as if releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in, cupping his face in her hands and resting her forehead against his. "Were you seriously considering having a baby with me? You know that means we'd be tied for life."

[jesssuvari]

[polomikami]

"How about I 'just for show' you..." he grunted and swatted at her hand poking his chest. This time he wasn't going to let her distract him, or at the very least he was going to try not to allow it. Honestly, his self control wasn't all that impressive and much less so when Jess was involved. Still, he wanted it on the record that he was succeeding so far if only because she was beginning to weird him out with all her talking. It wasn't that they didn't talk, quite the opposite actually, but she wasn't usually so defensive. Nor did she ever admit to being scared.

At least she'd given up on keeping the door between them, which was a blessing for the door's sake. He didn't pay any mind to what she'd pointed at, not yet, more interested in giving her a once over to make sure she was physically okay. He wouldn't lie, he was always worried his work would follow him home and they'd already been through enough of that back when he was simply her bodyguard. "Since when do you chicken out on tests? You're a real egghead, tests should be scared'a you," he laughed, kissing her forehead and leaning back when he realised she wasn't joking with him. Finally he cottoned on, looking over at the pregnancy test on the counter and feeling his stomach drop in a way it rarely did.

"Nah, come on," he exhaled a weak laugh. "Ain't no way, right?" He wasn't sure how to feel-- if anything it was miraculous that it was the first time he'd had this conversation with anyone. All he knew for certain was that he didn't enjoy the concept of Jess being scared of him. "Fuck..." he paused, trying to gather his own thoughts, then promptly gave up because when had thinking about anything ever been his deal? "Okay, nah, fuck it, do the test. The answer is real whether we know it or not, right? So might as well get ahead of the game. I like where we're at too. I fuckin' love my life right now but I'll take whatever the universe deals me with open fuckin' arms, alright? I've been shot, stabbed, fuckin' buried alive, and I'm still here." He held her face and pressed his forehead to hers, taking a deep breath to steel himself for whatever was about to happen. "I love you, and I got you, baby. Let's do this."

[jesssuvari]

The moment of silence that passed after laying all her cards on the table, as brief as it was, felt like an eternity. For the first time she had caught him in a state she never anticipated, he was rendered completely speechless. And she could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to process how he was supposed to react to this bomb she had just dropped on him. This was the man she had only known to jump head first into danger. He took action first and worried about the consequences later, or never if he didn't have to. He didn't second guess his words or actions. And that was what scared her. Not Polo himself. But the thought that something had caught them both so off guard it could change everything between them. It felt a bit pathetic, that she had gone from this lone wolf who only looked out for her own self interests to someone who had begun shaping her life around another person enough that she was this scared to ruin that.

Not that she believed Polo was the kind of person who would just bolt at the first sign of trouble. His honor and strong sense of loyalty were the things that she loved the most about him. If anything she was the one she was worried wouldn't be able to rise to the occasion and would ultimately leave him disillusioned. She didn't have a maternal instinct, she was a pretty selfish person, and was way too focused on her goals to add anything else onto her plate. There was a plan, she'd had a plan drawn out for her life since middle school and this threw everything off. What made her and Polo's relationship work so well though was that they were a good team, and because they were such complete opposites they managed to balance each other out. "Leave it to you to always make everything sound so easy. I mean when you start comparing it to life and death situations...fuck. I can't believe i'm actually saying this but you're right." As soon as he began his pep talk she felt a wave of relief wash over her, so much so that she couldn't help but laugh despite the tears that had slipped out in her distress. "We've made it through much scarier shit. And we came out of it stronger. But even though we're capable enough to face things on our own we're kind of unstoppable when we work as a team. Have you noticed that? Thanks for always having my back. And getting me out of my head when I start losing it "

She nodded as she steeled herself and leaned in to quickly steal a kiss from him as if it would pass on some of his courage over. "Okay, Let's do this." She grabbed him by the shoulders and directed him back towards the door. "I mean I'll do it and you wait for me on the couch. I don't care how much you love me, i'm not peeing on a stick in front of you. That's where I draw the line." Her face twisted in disgust at the thought before nudging him all the way out of the room. Once she had taken the test she hesitantly made her way out to the living room and set the cursed piece of plastic on the coffee table nearby. "The test said it takes at least three minutes so...I guess we wait." She set her phone alarm to go off at exactly the three minute mark, practically jumping in her seat when it did and barely peeking at the test. "Wait! That says negative, doesn't it?"

[polomikami]

"Wasn't planning on getting beat up, but the rest of it... yeah," he raised a brow, not seeing anything wrong with his plan. It wasn't like she didn't get anything out of it, though he knew better than to push that button lest he get nothing at all. "Didn't think there was much romance involved in a quickie, my bad," he laughed, more entertained by her being weird than concerned. It wasn't exactly out of the ordinary for them to bicker, though her reaction to him joking about her not loving him was more adorable than anything. The second part, the bit about demon spawn though, that was definitely weird. Like, alarm bells weird.

Polo's reflexes worked faster than his brain, catching the door before she could latch it. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, wedging his shoulder in the gap so the door couldn't close any further, though he didn't force it open either. There were some semblance of manners in this greaser, and Jess was the lucky one to experience most of them. "Fuck me Jess, why you always workin' in riddles?" He let his forehead thump on the door, not used to having to play so gentle about things. If he'd been having this conversation with Marlo they'd probably have ripped the door clean off the hinges by now and be trying to flush each others' heads down the toilet. "You're gonna have to dumb it down for me 'cause it sounds like you're sayin' you want me to put a baby in you and I sure as fuck know you don't mean that."

[jesssuvari]

"RIght. That would imply that you would ever lose a fight. And you wouldn't want anyone thinking those muscles are just for show, would you?" Jess wagged her brows and poked at his chest, teasing him in a way she only did when she was purposely trying to provoke him. Usually the reaction she was looking for was for him to fall into her trap and prove her wrong with the best sex either of them had. But this time she wasn't looking to rile him up as much as she was trying to distract him from her weird behavior by getting his mind on anything else. "At least tell me i'm pretty or that you like me before you start ripping my clothes off." She complained, biting her bottom lip to just barely hold in her laugh knowing how big his ego could get if she let him charm his way out of every situation. Of course she was a sucker for his dumb face, and his dumb smile, and that his dumb biceps were the size of her head so it worked more often than she liked to admit

Sadly, for their peace, her distraction didn't last as long as she had hoped. She knew that he wouldn't do something violent like break down the door but she definitely didn't anticipate him wedging himself in the gap of the door either, taking half a step back so she didn't accidentally hurt him. "I don't know, Polo. There's a lot of hypotheticals going on in my head right now. And i'm scared, okay? I'm just...scared." She finally admitted out loud which was hard enough on its own without elaborating on why. She let her own forehead bump against the other side of the door and released a deep sigh as she prepared herself mentally to let her walls down for him. It wasn't serving either of them for her to keep him out of the loop. He was the first person she thought to go to with her problems, knowing that even if he didn't offer a solution she wanted it at least felt good to vent to him. He was, funnily enough, the one who was able to keep her the most level headed when her thoughts were plaguing her. And more than anything he was a man of loyalty, so she knew he would stick by her side through anything she threw at him. The issue wasn't that she thought he couldn't handle big responsibilities but that this was one of the ones she didn't know if she could manage. But that was exactly why she knew she needed to voice these thoughts to him, because they always worked better as a team. "Nah. I got the angry traumatic daddy issues not the kinky kind. Sorry to disappoint " She rolled her eyes but affectionately placed a kiss on his jaw before stepping back from the door completely, giving him the okay to enter the room and gesturing to the pregnancy test on the counter. "I've been chickening out of taking a test all day. So when you came in I freaked out because I didn't want you to find out until I had an answer. Cause this kind of thing changes everything. And I really like where we're at right now."

[polomikami]

Essentially being on call to Ace meant that Polo's lifestyle wasn't that of the traditional 9 to 5 so he often found himself struggling to line his free time up with Jess'. He was heading out on a job later that evening so he thought he'd try and catch an early dinner with her, butter her up before he inevitably crawled into bed at some ungodly hour and interrupted her beauty sleep. If you asked him, she didn't need it anyway.

"Fuckin' hello to you too," he balked at her abrupt greeting and essentially having the door slammed in his face. It was unusual for her to be so skittish, so he couldn't be blamed for immediately getting suspicious. "You doin' somethin' diabolical in there? Tell me girls don't poop all you like, but I know you're lyin'..." He pushed on the door a little, teasing because they both knew he could knock the whole thing down if he really wanted to. He couldn't see much through the gap, but he could see that she'd opened a box of something on the counter. Hair dye, maybe. A flu test. A box of tampons. Nothing he would consider worthy of being a weirdo about. "I just wanted to have a shower with my girl before I go to work but whatever. You don't love me, I'll survive."

[jesssuvari]

It wasn't like Jess didn't believe she could share her worries with Polo. Or that he couldn't handle the seriousness of the predicament they were possibly in. After all the challenges they had gone through together, even before they entered a relationship, it felt like there wasn't much they couldn't face together anymore. Yes, they still bickered over everything but at the end of the day they were each others safety net, never letting the other fall without someone to fall back on. But their lives outside of their little bubble didn't have much crossover and while she didn't mind that they were able to keep their independence, that they didn't try to make some big changes to each others lives in order to be together, it meant they really had to make an effort to be present for each other. She didn't want anything to strain the good thing they had going. Not if it wasn't even a confirmed issue.

"So basically, you stopped by for a quickie to hold you over before you show back up here all beat up and I put you in time out?" Jess snorted, rolling her eyes and swatting his hand away from the door. "Damn. You're not even gonna pretend to romance me a little?" She soon pouted at him putting her love for him up for debate. After how long it took for her to admit it out loud refused for it to be questioned, even in jest. "How could you question my love? Like i'm not actively considering birthing your demon spawn right now?" She blurted out in her own defense, eyes widening when she realized how badly she had put her foot in her mouth. Her immediate response was to quickly hole herself up inside the restroom and try to gaslight him into thinking she said something else entirely. But no matter how fast she thought she could close and lock the door before he could make his way in, she was aware he was a lot faster and stronger. He could also be far more stubborn than her when he wanted to be so she was certain he wasn't going to let her comment go without a explanation.