Geek, F1's Pervert, writer and blogger. Expect hot men and women, pictures of food, Supernatural, Star Trek and Marvel. Maybe a few pictures of me too.... My other blogs are -
Hotspo
Turn Eight
Feeling Stylish
Love Adventure
@thiscastielhasflown and i are making a rewrite starting from season 6 and onwards and to season 15 and we are rewriting the fuck out of whatever it was we just saw today. fandom WILL be involved in the decision-making. it’s called Ramble On and it will not be that bullshit. updates coming soon but you’ll find them here or @rambleonspn
How do you move on without your heart? Knowing, that as the pages fill themselves up, you lose more of what could have been.
Between the haze of reality and the knowledge that they were finally free, Dean cried himself asleep… again. Life without Cas was hollow. His very existence was hanging on by threads, heart mourning his best friend, his partner in every sense of the word. Except, the taunting part of his brain supplied, he doesn’t know that you love him too.
The day replayed itself on loop.
-
He sobbed for five hours before answering Sam’s calls. At some point, he’d fallen asleep against the wall, curled into a ball as he cried out for Cas. The shadows were mocking him as he rolled to his side, cradling his bloody jacket one last time before bottling his pain.
We have work to do.
His journey from the bunker was filled with static. A soul-deep ache latching onto his brain as he watched the empty streets fade from view. It was a painful sight, but he felt nothing outside his longing for Cas, and his need to keep his remaining family safe.
Cas died thinking he was unloved, and that’s your fault.
-
Burying his face into the pillow, he shut his eyes. Memories of Cas’ smile haunted him, filled with tears and love.
I don’t deserve him, I never did.
-
Telling Jack and Sam that Cas was dead hurt. Dean wanted to comfort Jack, to hug him and say, it’ll be okay, we’ll get him back. Yet, he knew that trying would break down his already fragile walls. He needed to be strong.
Looking away, Dean bit his cheeks. Tears swelling in his eyes as he watched Jack sit alone outside, knowing there was no reassurance he could give.
What do you say to comfort another when you’re cracking under the loss yourself?
-
Cas. I don’t know if you can hear me out there, but I want you back, with us, with me. I love you too, and I can’t do this without you.
It’d been days and no response. No change, and then a phone call. His heart was racing to the stars as he ran up the stairs. There was hope shining through his thoughts for the first time in days. Then his faith shattered to dust; hope disappearing like a puff of smoke going up with the air.
-
He heard footsteps outside his door. Sam checking in on him, no doubt. They were alone, and he could feel the pang of loneliness returning. Their family was broken once more.
-
Bring Cas back. Dean didn’t want to live in a world without Cas. He couldn’t. Never again.
Sam was hesitant. “Do you really think Chuck will agree to this? I’m sure he’s already thought up a new twisted ending.”
“We have to try. To get everyone back, to get Cas back… I love him, Sammy, I can’t go on like this.”
His brother nodded, “Okay. We’ll try for them.”
-
Sammy was right.
Why won’t he be? Of course, it won’t be that easy.
-
The pillow was damp with tears. Dean shuffled around to grab the spare. His hands lingered for a moment, thinking of the nights Cas fell asleep on it after they’d stayed up to dawn watching old movies. Or the mornings where Cas would look after him when he had nightmares. There was a stab of emotions to his heart.
I can’t stay here.
They were heading over to check on Eileen tomorrow, but Dean needed a longer break.
He was going to bring Cas back, no matter the cost, but until then, he hugged the pillow to his chest as he sobbed. There were the trace scents of his shampoo, their shared laundry detergent, and the cologne he’d bought Cas for his birthday. The memories they stirred lulled him to sleep.
I’m bringing you home Cas, and then, I’m never letting you go again.
***
Hello. It’s too early to try writing fluff. Hope that this makes sense, let me know, Take care everyone :)
Tag-list below: [as always, ask or comment to be added or removed at any time]
THIS. This is literally all I needed guys. This is ALL I NEEDED TO BE HAPPY. I DIDNT EVEN NEED TO SEE CAS. I JUST NEEDED TO KNOW HIM AND DEAN WERE TOGETHER AND HAPPY. GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE. This final Hello Dean would have made everything better. Validated EVERYTHING. This ending right here is what I’m going to leave in my memory because the pain and humiliation of what actually happened is too much to bear.
stop being mean to dean. i, too, just stared ahead blankly the whole time that cas was speaking because my brain was short circuiting and i couldn’t say anything for about an hour and a half. so that repressed motherfucker would’ve needed approximately 5-7 business days before he could’ve reacted to that and he got ONE MINUTE.
theartofmadeline
yousharknotpass
vaporwave
areudirty
annaxmalina
gummygunk
pixelskylines
