i rlly fucking miss this
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Kiana Khansmith
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ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
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@jfccjustinn
i rlly fucking miss this
mark my words :: jelena
âGot an album on your phone of me?â she asked him raising an eyebrow with a smirk on her lips. âYou better have that thing protected, no iCloud hacks allowed,â she told him. As she stood here with him, her only hope was that these next two weeks went by quickly so she could be back with Justin again. She was never good at being away from him, mostly because she missed him but a small part of her was always worried about what he was doing while she was gone. âIâm not telling you, itâs gonna be a surprise,â she told him. Would it be too soon to get this done before she saw him again? She thought to herself. Selena ran her fingers back into his hair as he lowered onto his knees. She let out a shaky breath as she could feel his own breath on her as he spoke. A soft moan escaping her as his lips came in contact with her skin.
Justin laughed and quickly nodded his head. âActually I do, but it doesnât just contain your nudes. It contains all of the selfies youâve ever sent me, all the pictures weâve ever taken together, and just stuff like that.â He said, smiling and thinking of all the pictures he had with her. âAnd donât worry. If someone even attempted to get those pictures they all know damn well Iâd kill them.â He said to her, which was true. Everyone in the world knew how protected of Selena he was. There was no way in hell heâd ever let someone do something to harm her in any way. âFine fine. Though I think you should tell me seeing as I already have a tattoo of you so itâs only fair to know what your tattoo is.â Hearing the moan escape from her mouth made Justin smirk. He moved her legs farther apart from each other and started to rub in between them. âJust wanna make sure you get extra clean princess.â He said, as he let some of the soap run down her legs.
mark my words :: jelena
Selena laughed and shook her head, âHey, maybe if you are lucky you will get some more picture these next couple weeks when Iâm away. Weâll just have to see though,â she winked at him. It was amazing how things had changed between them and she thought that they were finally at a place where they could go back to the perfect couple they once were. Tonight proved that they still had a lot of healing to do, she just hoped that they would be able to do it together. âItâll be just for you then. Iâve already got some ideas for it,â she told him with a small smile. Selena bit her lip as she looked up at him, his smirk looking back down at her as he washed her body.
Justin couldnât help but laugh and roll his eyes. âAye, if not I got plenty to keep me satisfied while youâre gone.â He smiled. Justin was going to make sure he didnât act like him recent self when she was away. Usually when she was gone and they werenât perfect heâd mess around with other girls to keep him company or to make her mad. This time, he wasnât going to be like that. He was really going to throw himself into his work and prove to Selena he was really going to change. He was going to make sure he had plenty of performances to keep him busy. The only girls that would be on his mind was his fans, and Selena. Nothing else mattered to him. âOh really? Like what?â He asked her, smiling. As he continued to wash her, Justin got onto his knees and looked up at Selena as he started to wash her lower body. âYou are so hot.â He whispered, before planting kisses on her lower stomach and hip bones.
mark my words :: jelena
âMmm I missed that,â she smiled softly, her eyes closing as she went back into her memories of all of the times she would talk to Justin when she was away from him. Back before there were all of the issues between them. Selena laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck as he turned her back, âHell no. We keep it on my hip. Although Iâm surprised you donât want it in a more visible place so the entire world sees yourâve branded me,â she teased him. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his softly, âWash me then.â
âIt was the only good part of being away from each other. And the pictures you would send me.â He smirked. Justin did miss how their relationship used to be. He wished he could go back in time and just keep it how it was. They were so perfect. Sure they had a couple fights, but nothing like now. Heâd do anything just to have that relationship with her back. âThe world already knows your mine. I just want to be able to see it though, knowing Iâll be the only person who will ever see it, unless of course you show your girl friends, just makes it more special to me.â He smiled, as he leaned down to accept her kiss. He smirked at her, grabbing the body wash and the washcloth to wash her, he quickly covered it in the soup and began to wash her body, starting with her chest first.
mark my words :: jelena
Selena understood it and she wouldnât push him into going with her. âJust promise you will call me everyday. The timezones wonât be too far off⊠We can talk in the morning and then before we go to bedâŠâ she told him. She didnât want to be overbearing but she needed to know he was okay, especially after everything that just happened. Selena gasped as he lowered their hands. âThat would require the tattoo artist to see down thereâŠâ she teased him quietly. âGood to know,â she smirked.
Justin smiled slightly at her and nodded his head. âOf course, youâll get to hear my sexy waking up voice every morning youâre gone and Iâll sing to you when you need to sleep just like we used to.â He said, thinking of their past. He missed doing things like that with her. Overall he just missed how much he was in love with her. âThen Iâll give you the tattoo.â He smirked, and quickly spun her back around so she was facing him. âLet me wash you now.â He winked.
mark my words :: jelena
Selena frowned and nodded her head, she understood, she didnât want him in a place where he would be uncomfortable or upset. But she also didnât like that she wouldnât be able to watch after him for that time. âWell if you change your mind⊠the offer is always there,â she told him. The latina smirked at the sound that escaped Justinâs lips, âOn my hip?â she asked him, her hand coming down over his, âI think I could do that,â she told him. âI know! Thatâs why Iâm saying, that one being about me would be very unfortunate. I also think you lied to Ellen. I think there are more than three about him,â she told him confidently.
Justin saw the frown on Selenas face and he sighed. He didnât want her to be upset about him not going, but he couldnât do that to himself. He knew the steps to get better, heâs been through it before, and he couldnât do it. âThank you princess. Iâll just put myself into work like I usually do. Iâll be fine.â He promised her. Justin smiled and nodded his head to her as he lowered both of their hands to her crotch. âOr maybe even right here.â He whispered into her ear, breathing his hot breath all over her. âItâs not about you, shut up. And basically yeah, every song is about you but you know that and so does everyone else. I really donât even know why I lied to her.â He said, shrugging his shoulders.
mark my words :: jelena
âIâll be there, baby. Every step of the way. After these jingle ball shows, I donât have much going on until my tour. And if you want to, Iâd love for you to come with me on the jingle ball tour,â she told him. It was going to be too hard for her to be away from him this next week. Selena reached her one hand up behind her, tangling in his hair as she leaned back against him. âI think so tooâŠâ she whispered. âKind of funny since now youâve got a song called that. Although I hope thatâs not one of the ones about me⊠I thought Pattie and I were cool,â she joked with him.
Justin listened to her offer him to come with her on the rest of the tour and he didnât know what to say. âI want to be with you, Sel. Trust me, I wish I could come. But Niall is going to be there and even if you said the rumors werenât true, all Iâm going to keep thinking about is what happened earlier and Iâll just keep getting mad at myself.â He said, with all honesty. Justin let out a soft moan when she grabbed onto his hair, causing him to push her body more on him. âYou should get a new one right here.â He said, as he continued to rub her hip. âThat says Justin.â He smirked, which soon was followed by an eye roll. âYou know she loves you like her own.â He chuckled.
mark my words :: jelena
âOne day you will. But until then, Iâll be living out of a hotel for a bit so you can count on lots of sleepovers,â she smiled at him with a giggle. Although, she was sure that she would sleepover a lot and he would do the same with her. âThe Love Yourself one?â she asked him, allowing him to turn her around so he could see the tattoo. Chills ran up and down her body as she felt his lips on her neck, she missed this, missed him. âWhy is it your favorite?â she asked curiously in a quiet and distracted voice.Â
âGood because Iâm going to need you, Sel. More than ever, so Iâll be waiting for those sleepovers.â He said to her. Justin was going to need her with him while he gets clean again, he knew he wouldnât be able to do it without her. He nodded his head to her, answering her question. âI just like where it is, plus itâs a good a message.â He told her quietly as he let his fingers trail down the side of her, resting his hand on her hip once it reached there.
mark my words :: jelena
âI like the sound of that,â she smiled up at him. âI miss living with you. I know we may have rushed things back then and we kind of got too caught up in our love for each other⊠But living with you was the best,â she told him honestly. There was nothing like falling asleep next to the one you love and waking up in the morning in their arms. âYouâve gotten quite a few new ones since Iâve been with you last⊠or seen you like thisâŠâ she bit her lip.
âWe may have rushed things a little bit but there isnât anything I wouldnât do to have that time living with you back.â He told her, which was true. Justin would kill to go back to when they were like that in the past. He missed it more than anything. âLet me see yours on your back. I like that one.â He quickly spun her around in the shower, so her back was facing him as he let his fingers just slightly trail her tattoo. âThis ones my favorite.â He whispered into her ear as he moved his lips to her neck.
mark my words :: jelena
At his words she looked up at him with a smile, âOur very own house, huh?â she asked him. It of course was something they had talked about, they used to live together at one point in time but she wasnât sure if that was something he was still wanting. âGood,â she told him, her fingers dancing over his abs, âI like this tattooâŠâ she commented as they ran over his most recent addition of ink.
Justin looked down at Selena and smiled lightly at her, nodding his head. âYeah, baby. Our very own house.â He said, happy to think about what their future might be. He wanted to live with Selena again, of course first they had to get their relationship back in order but moving in with her again was definitely on his mind. Justin watched her trace his tattoo and he smirked at her, loving the feeling of her just touching him. âIâm glad you do baby.â He whispered.
mark my words :: jelena
She blushed as his eyes ran over her, it of course wasnât the first time he had seen her naked but the way he looked at her still gave her butterflies and brought a blush to her cheeks. âYeah, I know. But we will have new memories wherever I move next,â she smiled softly. She pressed her lips to his neck softly as the water ran over them, âFeel good?â she asked.Â
Justin saw the blush appear on her face and it made his smile even wider. He loved it when she blushed because he knew how she was feeling in that moment, just by him looking at her. âThat is true. But not many because soon weâll have our very own house to make all of our memories together.â He said, smiling thinking of their future together. Justin felt her lips on his neck, and he slowly nodded his head. âYes, baby. So good.â He whispered, as he closed his eyes to the feeling.
mark my words :: jelena
When she turned back and Justin was looking at her, she let out a sigh of relief. She had missed looking into his eyes. Especially now that they were back to their normal lighter color, versus the dark color they were just a few minutes ago. She let him take off her shirt before she reached around and removed her bra. Her fingers hooked into her shorts as she wiggled the remaining pieces of clothing off her hips, dropping to the floor. She took his hand again and led him into the shower, âI think this shower is what Iâm going to miss the most about this houseâŠâ she chuckled.
Justin smiled when he heard her sigh of relief. Though he didnât know not looking at her really did make her that upset. He watched her take the rest of her clothes off as he examined each part of her body with his eyes. He loved how beautiful she looked naked, and he really meant that. Her body was pure beauty to him, whether she believed it herself or not. He grabbed onto her hand and followed her into the shower. âYeah, your shower is the best shower. Iâm going to miss our memories the most though.â Once Justin felt the hot water hit his body he let out a small and quiet moan. The shower definitely was already making him feel better.
mark my words :: jelena
âYou know that you will always have me by your side, baby,â she smiled softly as she could see a small one form on his lips from his profile. She chuckled as he told her that she loved them more, they could fight about that all day long. When he stood up, she stood up behind him and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. She didnât force him to look at her although she was wishing he would. She moved in front of him, leading him back to her room and into the bathroom. She let go of his hand to reach into the shower turning it on warm, hoping that it would relax him a little bit more.
Justin smiled at her. He did know that she always going o be by his side. Out of everyone in the world, Selena was the one person who never really gave  up on him. Even when he gave up on himself like now. He held tightly onto her hand as she walked them to the bathroom. Once they got into the bathroom, they let go of each others hands. As got the water ready, Justin proceeded with taking his clothes off. Once he was completely naked, he turned Selena around and finally looked her in the eyes. âLet me help you.â He whispered, beginning to lift her shirt up.
mark my words :: jelena
âItâs alright, Iâm okay now,â she promised him, the last thing she wanted him to worry about was her. She was okay. Her only concern now was him. She leaned her head back against the wall, she wanted so badly to hold him, to kiss him, to look at him, but she didnât want to make it worse. âAnd I trust you too. Despite if you think I should or not, I do trust you. You made a mistake, we all made a mistake. We will get you help again, we will get through it together,â she said softly her fingers continuing to comb through his hair. âWell I love you,â she replied, she knew right now she wouldnât be able to get him to change how he felt but she could remind him how she did. âWhy donât we shower or something? Then we can go downstairs and I can make us some food?â
Justin just stayed quiet when she said she was okay. He believed that she was, she was more worried about him, he knew that. But he still couldnât believe he treated her the way he did. Any girl in the world wouldâve left him but she wasnât. She was staying with him and Justin knew there was a reason why he wanted to marry this girl. âAs long as I have you by my side, princess, I know Iâll be okay.â Justin formed a small smile on his face once she heard that she loved him. Even if he did hate himself, knowing she still loved him made him feel better. âI love you more.â He said. Once he heard her suggest a shower and some food he finally sat up, but still not looking at her. âLets go.â He got up and held his hand out for her to grab, but refusing to make eye contact.
mark my words :: jelena
âYou can look at me. Iâm not mad at you, Justin. Iâm not afraid of you. I need you to look at me and see that,â she begged him although he was just shaking his head at her. She moved and sat down next to him, her back leaning against the wall. She pulled him to lay his head on her lap, her fingers running through his hair soothingly. âItâs okay, donât be sorry. Itâs alright,â she told him, not trying to make him look at her anymore. âBut I promise you, J, itâs only you. Every time I was out with Niall, we were with all of my friends. Ashley, Raquelle, Courtney, they were all there. You know how the media is, because Niall and I are famous they twisted it. We never made out, never kissed. We were at a party and it was loud so when we talked we were close together. But it was nothing romantic. I wouldnât do that to you,â she reassured him.
âI believe you, Selena. But I just caused you so much pain and hurt I canât look at you.â He whispered through the breaths he tried to take to calm him down. When she pulled him, he didnât refuse, he set his head down on her lap as he tried to calm down. Once he felt her hands in his hair, he couldnât help but release a few more tears. Justin was completely broken and there was no fixing it. âItâs not alright.â He whispered to her so low she probably didnât hear him. âI know you wouldnât do anything, Selena. I trust you. You are the one person I can trust. I-I just canât believe I let myself believe it though. I canât believe I fell into that shit again. I fucking hate myself.âÂ
mark my words :: jelena
She could see in his eyes that he was slowly coming back and realizing what he was doing and had just done. The tears fell down his cheeks and it broke her heart to witness. As he fell to the floor, she slowly moved down next to him, running her fingers through his hair, âJustin, look at me,â she told him putting her hand on his wrist, trying to pull it away from his face. âIâm not calling the cops. You didnât mean to, you didnât know what you were doing,â she told him in a soft voice. She would never actually call the police on him, it was all an empty threat, an attempt to get him to stop what he was doing. âWhat happened, J? Talk to meâŠâ
Justin still just couldnât believe what he had just done to Selena. He felt like he was becoming a monster all over again, he never wanted her to see him like this ever. When she told him to look at him, he shook his head. Justin couldnât even try to look at her in the eyes it would kill him seeing all the terror he had caused her. He felt her trying to grab his wrist, but he continued to shake his head. âStop, Selena. Please. I canât look at you right now.â He cried. When she asked him what happened, he took a deep breath. âI-I got handed some cocaine when I was in London. I thought I was only going to take a little because I was out and I didnât think it would do any harm. I did way more than I shouldâve and then I heard about you and Niall and I got so mad so while I was on my way I continued to do it which made me even more mad. I-Iâm so fucking sorry.â He broke down, still refusing to look at her.
mark my words :: jelena
Selena swallowed, panic setting in as he continued on, âJust a friend, Justin. Heâs just a friend. One of our friends,â she tried to remind him although she was sure it wouldnât work. No matter how much she begged, Justin would release her, she nodded her head in response to what he was saying, âYou did, you did. You can hurt me. You proved your point,â she told him wincing at the pain. She let out another scream as he let go of one wrist and then his fist went through the wall next to her head. Her newly free hand quickly came up as she saw his fist flying towards her, ducking her head with her hand as it went into the wall. Her crying progressed, getting harder as she looked up at him, scared of what would happen next. âPlease, Justin⊠Snap out of this⊠Just come back to me⊠PleaseâŠâ she cried.
Justin saw all the terror in Selena as he acted out and for the first time in the last couple hours, he could feel himself coming back. He looked at Selena with so much shock and disappointment in himself but he wasnât able to move. âIâm so sorry Selena.â He whispered before the tears fell from his eyes as well, harder than theyâve ever fallen before. âI-I didnât mean any of it. Please c-call the cops. I canât be around you.â He finally released her other wrist, and removed his hand from her wall. Without saying another word Justin fell to the ground and cried into his hands. He couldnât believe what he just did to her. Justin was never this type of person, he was better than this. Or at least he thought he was but after tonight he didnât know who he was anymore.