american psycho

harelia vs. baking brownies

ame-ellis:

Amelia couldn’t help but smile like an idiot when Harrison agreed in staying. She didn’t actually want to leave, she was dying to cook and have something good to eat - unless they burnt the food but she was going to try her best not to. She wanted it to be a positive experience, but she definitely wasn’t getting there at all quite yet. They just really needed to ignore and avoid Wendy at all costs. ‘This is why I love you.’ She chimed softly with a small smile.

‘You really need to get your hair cut, Tarzan.’ She teased softly, gently nudging her hip against his, more like the side of his thigh than anything. After following suit and tying her own hair up, Amelia was feeling better now that Wendy wasn’t hanging around them like a grey cloud.

‘Alright, first it says here to melt the chocolate and butter in a bowl over the stove sorta thing. That’s not too hard for you, is it?’ She inquired, winking at him before she moved and grabbed a pot, filling it with water. ‘Do you want me to talk you through this since the teacher doesn’t seem to be doing that well of a job?’

“What? You don’t like my rugged, wild, caveman look?” He took a dramatic pose for a second before laughing and leaning over to kiss the top of her head again. Then Harrison put his attention back on baking. He had decided from there on out to make a conscious effort to do a good job and to have a good time. He was going to try and be optimistic, because things seemed to work out better for the both of them when he was.

“Umm,” He scrunched his nose up, “Yeah, yeah that’d probably be a good idea,” He looked over his shoulder and glanced around the room. Wendy was over helping another pair of patients, one of which he was surprised was even allowed anywhere near hot objects in the first place. Harrison was hoping she’d stay with other pairs around the room and that he wouldn’t have to talk to her much. She seemed to have ulterior motives when it came to talking to him-- ones that he wasn’t very comfortable with.

“Isn’t it gonna ruin the butter and the chocolate if you melt them in the water?” He furrowed his brows, putting his hands on his hips in thought as he watched quizzically as Amelia filled up the pot.

harelia vs. baking brownies

ame-ellis:

Amelia’s anger was soon dismissed when she noticed how Harrison was behaving, which wasn’t in a way that was best for the first day of cooking class. She blinked a few times, looking between Harrison and Wendy before politely suggesting that she check on another one of the patients who was trying to eat the baking paper - forcing the fakest and sweetest smile she had ever done when doing so. Then when Wendy had left, Amelia turned to Harrison, putting her hand on the side of his arm and gently rubbing it in the best comforting way that she could. ‘Are you alright, gorgeous?’ She inquired, her voice soft and low, genuinely concerned unlike Wendy who seemed concerned just for show - which bothered Amelia like mad. ‘We can ditch this if you want. Take brownies from the kitchens?’

Harrison was more than thankful when Wendy walked away and left them alone. He shook his head, “I’m fine,” He ran a hand through his unkempt hair and continued to shake his head, “We should stay,” If he hadn’t known Amelia wanted to take this class so badly, if he knew she hadn’t been looking forward to it since they were both cleared to take it, he would have said hell yes to the idea of ditching it. His agreement had been a reluctant one from the start and the whole situation just seemed to be going downhill rather quickly.

He pulled the hair tie from his pocket and pulled his hair back into a mini bun towards the back of his head. A haircut was something he’d been meaning to talk to his doctors about but hadn’t had the chance. It was longer than he liked to keep it at this point, although it would have been a lie to say that he didn’t kind of like the way it looked when he pulled it up.

After leaning over and placing a firm kiss on the top of Amelia’s head, he looked down at the utensils and ingredients on the table in front of them, “What’s first?”

Hold him gently in your hands. He has been cracked enough as it is, and his heart is more shattered than he lets on.

endlessroadhome (via brit-rps)

#muse

anamorphosis-and-isolate

anamorphosis-and-isolate:

― Palo Alto (2013) April: I wish I didn’t care about anything. But I do care. I care about everything too much.

#muse

blondierps:

don’t

need a weapon

{I am a weapon.}

harelia vs. baking brownies

ame-ellis:

Amelia had glared when Wendy had called on Harrison like she did. Not only was she treating them like elementary school kids, but she was treating Harrison like one. And she knew first hand that for Harrison having to do something like read out in front of people was something he’d struggled with. And for the first time ever since being in the institute, Amelia felt her stomach burn with anger towards a woman she knew nothing about, just a name and the fact she was getting on her nerves.

‘You have got to be fucking kidding me.’ She muttered under her breath, visibly rolling her eyes when Wendy called on Harrison, which was probably the first time in a long time that Amelia had sworn out in a context that wasn’t at least slightly sexual to say the least. She was actually mad, and if Harrison wasn’t beating someone up today it was going to be her. She frowned a little as Harrison read at loud over her shoulder, it being bluntly obvious that he was frustrated, and this wasn’t a class that she wanted to lead him out of - because if she did they would take him out of it and replace him with a new partner for her.

‘How about we just get on with actually starting instead of standing around like a bunch of dumbasses who apparently haven’t reached a level of decency to be treated like actual human beings.’ Amelia snapped, and with that Wendy had dismissed the class to take on the recipe themselves, noting she would wander around and help where it was needed. And almost immediately she moved to Harrison and patted his shoulder. ‘There is no need to be embarrassed.’ She said, her voice becoming disgustingly sweet.

He was too frustrated to really take note of the fact that Amelia had sworn, which was definitely out of her nature. Harrison’s brow was furrowed so hard that his muscles were almost cramping. She patted him on the shoulder and he moved his shoulder so that her hand fell off of it, “I know. I’m not embarrassed. This is just fucking dumb and stupid.” He grumbled before he crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the surface of the table. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Wendy have a concerned look on her face-- or at least, that’s what he thought it was supposed to be-- but that only made him more frustrated. He didn’t need her pity.

harelia vs. baking brownies

ame-ellis:

Amelia didn’t even realize she had tensed up since meeting Wendy until Harrison took her hand, and almost immediately she relaxed and calmed down. It was funny, because usually it was the other way around. Then again, she never really had anything to get worked up about when they weren’t around a charity worker chef who spent way too much money on a horrible manicure.

‘You’re honestly going to do fine, gorgeous. I promise.’ Amelia whispered back to Harrison, squeezing the hand of his that she was holding a little before glancing from him to Wendy. ‘Just don’t get any shell in the eggs.’ She joked with a small smile before listening to the instructions they were being given. In order to actually cook, she had to let go of Harrison’s hand in order to grab the recipe card that was on their bench, holding it up with a frown as she read through it, then looking at Harrison. ‘You would have probably felt better if these were pot brownies.’

She offered him a soft and genuine smile before she had reached across the bench and got one of the mixing bowls that was over to the side, pulling it front of them as well as the ingredients that were already there for them to use. ‘Right, so who here wants to read out the recipe?’ Wendy asked, which made Amelia scoff, glancing over at Harrison before looking down at the card. ‘Honestly, if she’s going to act like we’re five I will attack her face with the electric mixer.’ She muttered under her breath, though perked up a little when Wendy called on Harrison to read the recipe.

He nodded at her words and smiled a little at her. She made him feel better about things, as always, and he tried to get his muscles to relax. Then Harrison laughed quietly. Obviously marijuana wasn’t something he’d ever had his hands on. It wasn’t accessible in the hospital to anyone except for a few elderly patients who had it for pain relief, and even then they were heavily supervised while they smoked it. Harrison knew just by knowing what it was, however, that Amelia was 100% correct.

Harrison heard Amelia mutter something, although he didn’t understand what it was that she was saying. He was trying to decipher it when he got called on and nearly jumped out of his skin, caught off guard by the sudden call of his name. In the times before Amelia came into his life, he would have scoffed and refused, maybe flipped her off in his older years. But now he was different and he was here because he was trying to be normal and trying to learn how to function properly in society, so he did his best to comply to her wishes.

He’d never really been a super genius, and reading out loud wasn’t his strong point, so he himself cringed when he started to read and tripped over his own words just a few sentences in. He stopped and held his breath for some reason that even he himself didn’t understand. He’d read about a quarter of the way through the recipe and, although she asked him to do the whole thing, he was very much done now. Harrison shook his head and went quiet, his brow furrowing in a mix of irritation and frustration and some other bad feeling in his throat and chest. Wendy asked if he was okay and he didn’t look up at her, not embarrassed but just frustrated, “I’m fine. I’m just done reading.” He shrugged his shoulders and bit down on the inside of his bottom lip.

harelia vs. baking brownies

ame-ellis:

‘Damn right, this is fine.’ Amelia agreed, nodding her head along as she spoke with a smile on her face, gently nudging Harrison’s side in a playful way. Her eyes widened a little when she saw the woman approach them. Not because she was a normal person, or the most normal person she’d seen in a long time, but because her eyes were straight on Harrison as she made a beeline to him. Amelia would have liked to think that she wasn’t easily intimidated. But in this moment, she did.

Due to her experiences in the institution, Amelia had grown frail and even smaller than what she was before she’d been admitted. Meanwhile this Wendy woman, she was fuller everywhere. Especially in the hips, thighs and chest, which made Amelia weary of herself. Wendy’s hair was also more healthy looking and looked like she’d gotten her hair done the day before and tossed it in a bun. Amelia’s hair was rough and long with split ends, and hadn’t had a good wash for years. Wendy’s skin was pale, and not in the bad way like Amelia’s, and was completely clear of scars and bruises. The only thing about Wendy that completely threatened her and made her feel more territorial about the institute as well as Harrison was that she was more normal than Amelia. And Amelia was damn close to it.

She was still very shy and withdrawn when it came to meeting new people, so she was very glad that Harrison introduced her to Wendy. And she felt rude because the expression on Amelia’s face wasn’t exactly inviting, but sort of like stone as she took Wendy’s hand when it was offered to her and shook it. ‘Yeah, I’m Amelia.’ She said, her voice monotone and she kept her eyes directly on Wendy. Of course Amelia wasn’t going to pull any “I’m a crazy patient, so beware because I will not hesitate to shit down your throat” bullshit, but she was very much considering it.

Wendy said something about looking forward to teaching them all before she asked if they were excited to take the class. Harrison took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before he spoke, “I’ve never cooked or baked anything in my entire life so, I guess I’m a little excited about it,” He shrugged and laughed, not really wanting to share his fears or worries with anyone else but Amelia. Harrison still had issues trusting people with his negative or possibly “embarrassing” emotions. Amelia was the only person he knew definitely wouldn’t laugh at him or tease him about his worries or fears or whatever else was in his bag of deep, dark feelings. While he had this brief thought, he looked down at Amelia and smiled very softly, taking a very small unnoticeable step towards her and taking her tiny hand in his larger one.

“Well I’m sure you’ll do great!” Wendy’s voice was peppy and perky and it seemed like she’d had about twelve cups of whatever kind of fancy coffee drinks Amelia had told Harrison about on the outside, “Let’s get started, shall we?” She smiled brightly at him and he was irritated when he noticed how she barely even looked in Amelia’s direction. The woman headed up towards the large display table in the front, littered with much fancier and high end versions of their own utensils. She started to address the class, introducing herself and talking about the class and what they’d be doing in it.

Harrison could feel his palms starting to sweat and his stomach twist as they got closer and closer to actually making things and using what was on the table in front of him. He swallowed thickly and tried to take another deep breath in. After a little bit he glanced down at Amelia again. before whispering, “I’m really nervous,” There was a hitch in his breath at the end of his sentence.

harelia vs. baking brownies

#cooking class #para #i don't know how this got so long?#that's what she said

ame-ellis:

‘Have I ever told you that the first time I ever cooked when I was like 11 I set the oven alight by accident? So sure, you’re probably gonna suck a little at first, but everyone does.’ Amelia tried, she knew that Harrison wasn’t ever really alright with doing something for the first time, especially something like cooking that had a lot of different outcomes, both good and bad. ‘It’s not gonna be a disaster, the worst thing that would happen would be that we burn the brownies or we get food poisoning. We’ll do fine. You’ll do fine.’ She assured him, resting her hands on his sides and looking up at him. ‘Think of it like… Putting together the bracelets we did in the group work activity. You’ll probably get frustrated, and the first time around you might need to leave the room or the bracelet will fall apart as soon as you put it on. But now you’re like the king of bracelet making.’

He laughed. She usually knew how to make him feel better, or at least settle his nerves a little bit so he wasn’t as worked up. The assortment of both string & beaded bracelets on his wrist was a testament to what she said. When he’d stopped being a dick to everyone and started putting effort into the things he did in the hospital, he’d become determined to learn how to make the goddamn bracelets. Once he got the hang of it, he found it to be one of the most calming activities in the place, and he spent as much time as he could making them, especially when he could feel himself getting upset or angry or anxious.

Some of the nurses joked that there was probably more bracelets on his wrist than there was skin at this point, but he’d laugh with them and just shake his head because he liked them. He’d even almost taught a new patient how to make them once. Almost being the keyword, as halfway through he’d had an involuntary fit of anger and had to be carried out by two larger nurses, “Okay. Okay okay. Okay,” He nodded, “This is fine,” He put his hands the side of his arms and stroked up and down, somehow hoping that it would work to calm him down a little more.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a woman walk in, her hair tied up in a neat bun & an apron, much fancier than their own, tied around her. She approached them with a smile on her face. “Hi, I’m going to be teaching the class today,” Harrison thought maybe she’d approached them specifically because he’d accidentally made eye contact, although he wasn’t completely sure, “I’ll be introducing myself to everyone in a bit but you can call me Wendy,” She stuck her hand out.

Harrison looked down at it, “I’m not supposed to touch anyone before asking permission from the nurses,” The woman in front of them widened her eyes in what seemed to be a state of shock and slight fear as she started to lower her hand, “I’m kidding. They leave those kind of patients in the padded rooms away from everyone else,” That had been an attempt at a reassuring statement but the woman pushed out a fake laugh that said it wasn’t too comforting. Harrison wasn’t great at interacting with people who weren’t used to the hospital yet, but he was getting there. He shook her hand, “I’m Harrison. This is Amelia,” He gestured towards the small girl beside him.

harelia vs. baking brownies

ame-ellis:

‘I really don’t think you wanna sit this one out.’ Amelia hummed as Harrison turned around and once the apron was hanging around his neck she took to straightening it out and tying it behind him securely. ‘I’m not allowing anyone to send you off into the real world if you can’t make an amazing grilled cheese, and I sure as hell am not letting you out of here until you know how to not kill yourself in a kitchen.’ She then waited for him to turn back around before she kissed his cheek. ‘Anyway, you’ll do fiinnnee. You have to do the cool things like mix things for me and like crack eggs.’

He turned around when she finished tying the apron on him, “I don’t think you realize that the most ‘cooking’ I’ve ever done is when they had an ice cream bar here when I was 12 and I put together toppings in my own bowl,” Harrison twisted his lips, “I’m going to end up hurting myself or someone else today I can guarantee it. I’m gonna light something on fire or break something or poison someone on accident. It’s going to be a disaster,” He shook his head, obviously having very little confidence in himself & the results that would come out of the experience if he had any part in it.”

#para #cooking class

harelia vs. baking brownies

ame-ellis:

‘Of course they cleared you, like honestly the people in here are supposed to be alright so I guess everyone decided the chances of you getting grumpy and stabbing someone in the face were pretty low.’ She said, kidding of course because this was probably the first time Harrison actually cooked in his life. She widened her own eyes a little when he turned the hand mixer and used her hand to lower his, then she took it from his hand. ‘How about we stay away from spinning blades of death?’ She suggested, putting the mixer down, then turning to Harrison she held out the second apron that was on the bench when they came in, holding it out. ‘Turn around.’

He let out a small laugh, although at one point or another the concern of him stabbing someone had been a very legitimate one among the staff. Harrison lowered his hand as she guided him to do so and turned around when she asked, "Are you sure that you don’t want me to just like, y’know, supervise or something? I’m really great at supervising,” He helped pull the apron over his head, “I could just stand like a few steps behind you and watch you. I’m sure you’re great at,” He looked towards the table and furrowed his brow, “All of whatever this stuff is..”