[jfkadultcircumcision]

everyone i know is sick of hearing about this: a deep dive on the alec bohm foundation

everyone in my life is sick of hearing about this: an alec bohm foundation deep dive Alec Bohm is, at the time of this writing, the starting

Alec Bohm is, at the time of this writing, the starting third baseman for the Philadelphia Phillies. He is also, in my opinion, a real cutie, so when I first got into baseball in 2024, my quest for merch pretty quickly took me to his foundation’s website, which sells a range of extremely ugly Bohm-themed items. Nothing appealed, but I am fundamentally nosy, so I still wanted to know more about the foundation itself. The foundation’s website invites viewers to “Join the legacy, leave an impact,” a slogan that, if we’re being honest, sounds like it’s gone through google translate a few times. Legacy is a lofty goal, particularly considering that Bohm started his non-profit in 2019 before he’d ever set foot on a major league field. You could argue he’s had some level of success — he was the Phillies’ 2021 nominee for the Roberto Clemente award, which is intended to recognize players’ philanthropic efforts. (He did not ultimately win the league-wide prize.) So for someone wanting to support the foundation, there are two obvious questions. First, how do you “join the legacy, leave an impact”? Second, what is the legacy and/or impact you’re joining and/or leaving?

[jfkadultcircumcision]

"sosa has been better at the plate than bohm this year" in what way bc its not any of the ones we quantify?

[jfkadultcircumcision]

that post like a lot of pop stans belong on espn bc if you just want to argue about numbers all day sports offer better options than album sales. but the reverse. a lot of sports guys would be better off as pop stans bc its all personalities with them. like people will argue with a straight face that a guy with an ops in the .400s would be better for the phillies than bohm. and when you're like in what respect. would that be better. they go "HE MAKES ME MAD." okay thats what we call a feeling and it has nothing to do with roster construction

[dilftanger]

don’t date. a sports team can also let you down for the rest of your life and doesn’t move into your house.

[whatladybird]

[jfkadultcircumcision]

in addition to a walkoff tripleeeeee alec bohm had two other hits, with all three having exit velocities over 100mph, and all five balls he put in play were in the air (instead of hammered into the ground as he has been known to do)

[jfkadultcircumcision]

EVERYONE APOLOGIZE TO ALEC BOHM

[jfkadultcircumcision]

like ive seen people complain about bohms body language and it'll be that he didnt field a ball and scrunched up his face a little bit. like why are you mad. ive had more dramatic reactions to catching a typo after hitting send on an email. wait until he does something worth being upset about

[jfkadultcircumcision]

ways alec bohm is ending up back on the phillies next year ranked from most to least likely

he shows up in the clubhouse on day 1 and everyone just feels too awkward to say anything

the new cba introduces a "mystery trade" policy where teams can just send you a player and you dont know who it is until they step off the plane

every time they try to play someone else at 3b he slowly morphs into alec bohm over the course of the game. eventually the entire clubhouse is just bohms and they have to call in the original to help everyone acclimate to being alec bohm

when the grounds crew shows up in clearwater to start prepping for spring training, he's sitting placidly at third base in full uniform. security tries to escort him out but every time he crosses the threshold he fades from existence and respawns in the infield

they offer him a contract

[jfkadultcircumcision]

someone reblogged this and said they want bohm off the team. you didn't understand this post at all

[jfkadultcircumcision]

i am so fucking sick of orion kerkering

[jfkadultcircumcision]

i am generally not someone who complains about baseball players' "body language." i acknowledge that maintaining composure under pressure is part of their job but honestly a lot of the time when i see people complain, they're just mad that someone had any reaction at all to failing publicly. like a player could frown after giving up a grand slam and everyone goes "omg he's always pouting!!! bad body language!" like it gets to the point where you're upset these players are human. HAVING SAID THAT i am so sick of orion kerkering fucking up and then getting shots of him slumped in the dugout all 🥺🥺🥺 genuinely toughen the fuck up bro

[jfkadultcircumcision]

i am so fucking sick of orion kerkering

[jfkadultcircumcision]

like okay im biased obviously i have a soft spot for bohm but this is mean :( i do actually think certain things should be off-limits... i genuinely would not make these jokes about like bryce or jt in the same situation. (this was in response to a genuinely very stupid abs challenge on bohms part.)

[jfkadultcircumcision]

i generally try to be a reasonable baseball fan but my one toxic trait is im constantly like okay but what has bryce harper done for me lately? he could hit three homers in a game but if he struck out the fourth time id be like "lmao he's washed"

[only-cat-memes]

[jfkadultcircumcision]

maybe its just stockholm syndrome but i feel like bohms facial hair finally looks okay. only took two years of looking like his skin was trying to crawl off his face

[jfkadultcircumcision]

taking this back. i dont know why i said this.

[jfkadultcircumcision]

i love seeing your posts ab septa while i’m actively commuting via septa LOL makes me feel famous

lmaooo *its blorbo from my shows voice* its septa from your commute!

[probuccalfat]

omg i spoke punjabi with a woman who works at my local chipotle because a white customer had been very aggressive with her and i wanted to talk to her covertly about it and she goes “punjabi sounds like poetry from your lips” LIKE 😭

[probuccalfat]

leaving a yelp review that just says “what are we 😳”