I’m a genuine believer that Vampire is ABSOLUTELY one of the smartest cookies and best strategists in the games with my basis being his “Insouciant King” costume in Ovenbreak, his leaked line for the affection system, AND the Sibling Rivalry? story in Kingdom
In the chess costume set alone, he is one of if not the best chess player in the lineup
Why do I say this, you may ask? Because Alchemist admits that she would need to make something new just to check him
And btw if you click on the highlighted “king”, it takes you to his costume, further emphasizing that she’s talking about him
Also, he actively implies he doesn’t need any sort of luck to win in chess and he’s skilled enough to dodge every check (or checkmate) from an opponent easily
As for Sibling Rivalry?, in case one might need a summary on it, the whole thing revolves around Vampire pranking Alchemist by acting as though he was “turned smart and motivated” by one of her potions and Alchemist doing everything in her power to change him back
What I’m focusing on is the fact that throughout the story/prank, Vampire was seen doing alchemical formulas and experiments, something of which he’d be unable to do as flawlessly as he did if he didn’t know the material in the first place
Also, the whole story shows that Alchemist feels threatened by Vampire actually using his smarts. It’s the clearest when her narrative says she doesn’t want two alchemists in the family:
(Also note: what she emphasizes is hard to believe isn’t him being smart. It’s him being DILIGENT. MOTIVATED. ACTUALLY WORKING)
So she’s well aware that if Vampire were to use his smarts, he wouldn’t only be as good as her, no. There’s a chance he could surpass her, and she doesn’t like that
AND THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE
One of the leaked Vampire lines for the affection system is, AND I QUOTE,
“I’ll have you know I was actually called smart as a young cookie!”
It was practically handed on a silver platter
With all the previous things in mind, the line makes it seem like he used to flaunt his intelligence more. It isn’t that he grew dumber, it’s that he stopped flaunting it and began to hide it more (he explains why in the Crunchy Dreams event in the Gnome Uprising story. He likes to keep people’s expectations of him low so he isn’t asked to do anything)
TL;DR: Vampire Cookie is an academic and strategic WEAPON and it’s been shown several times except nothing is done with it. And it makes me sad because he has sooo much potential as a character, yet he’s treated like comedy relief in every line he gets. Also his own sister is his biggest opp when it comes to him actually using his smarts and I think that’s even more tragic
Also he could totally beat or at least be an extreme challenge to Shadow Milk in a game of chess but shhh
