[jiivxs]

Đᵣᵢᵥₑ Бᵞ

[jawliet-deactivated20220422]

That was a delight to hear. The silence of a peaceful environment was so new to the man. Discovering the serenity that spread so delicately around him. An embrace of calmness, and he loved every second of it. The house was a small one, yet it was oddly comforting. For a moment the throbbing pain in his chest was forgotten. Distracted by the new house that surely could use some thorough cleaning, but Jawliet was picky with cleanliness.

When Matt took a seat on the couch, the man decided to sit next to the other. An arm leaning onto the edge to support a slow motion of sitting down. To the suggestion he smiled softly. “I would like that. I like salami. It is rare for me to order anything.” He said.

[jiivxs]

Matt got up the site on his laptop as the other spoke to him. “Of course, but why so?” It used to be every other night he’d order take out, but ever since his small pudgy stomach had started forming he had been more and more cautious.

“Pizza’s should be here in like half an hour tops.” He smiled at the other and set the laptop on the coffee table. “Would you like a can while we’re waiting? Or water or something?”

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

Changes

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

▲ Love… Those words hadn’t been uttered since his last lover. His eyes closed and his body was in need. Mello let himself relax, but that was automatic because of his previous career.  Slowly, he tilted his head and watched the male, knowing that there was certainly something different about him. 

▲ Trust was still fickle though, and oh, he wanted to trust him.  Matt was a beautiful person, and he was thankful that he was brought here.  It was hard for him, it was always hard for him.  Life had certainly been odd, been different.  He sighed slowly, wondering how to handle life.  He wrapped his arms around Matt, slowly assessing the situation. 

▲“If you want me happy, I am trying.  It is just new. I used to live night by night. I don’t really know how to feel about all of this, I do like you… A lot.” Mello sighed. He closed his eyes and then inhaled slowly. 

[jiivxs]

Matt gave a small sigh at the man’s words and nodded, this was going to be difficult for the both of them, however Matt was willing to give up all he had to help this man. 

“I want you happy. I do.” He kissed him again once more, a little softer this time, as he pushed the blond back against the counter, before lifting him up onto it and his legs around his waist. 

He’d wanted to touch the man like this for so long since he had gotten here, and now he finally had another chance, however this as nothing like the first time he had touched the blond, no. Instead they felt something, and that made it all so much more real.

[superphazed]

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

Changes

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

▲ Matt kissed him, but there was refrain on Mello’s part, only because men had used him left and right.  Mello was going to be cautious with his heart, that was to be expected after all. The blonde glanced to Matt and processed his words. Strong feelings could mean anything, and Mello was no fool to lies and betrayal. 

▲ “You adore me?” That was a serious question because as far as Mello knew, he was just some bloody whore that opened his legs for others.  How could anyone adore him? 

▲ The thought of being loved was comforting, but of course, he didn’t feel worth shit. But Matt was saying he cared, but there was also the idea that Matt used his birth name. Was that supposed to make his words more genuine? 

[jiivxs]

Matt wasn’t sure earlier if saying he loved the blond would make things worse or not, but it was after that response he knew it was the correct thing to say. “I love you.” He wasted no time with leaning in and kissing him hard, hands going up to tangle in silk locks.. 

Pulling back for a brief moment he pushed his goggles up into his hair and looked the other in the eyes. “You know that if you don’t want this you can deny me, okay?” Matt knew Mello’s trust in men was no longer as strong as it may have been in the past and so wanted him to be sure he was the one in control here.

“I want you to be happy, and I want to please you and offer you everything you could wish for. When you are down I am down, I want to help.” Holding his face Matt kissed him once more, softer this time, but with love. 

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

Changes

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

▲ What were they? Mello didnt even know. He loved Matt, but they had never shared emotions, or anything together.  It seemed as if he was utterly lost, but he was tolerating it more than anything at this point. 

▲ Mello stared at Matt, his hands were being held, but he wasn’t sure why Matt was trying to hard at this point. The blonde sighed and then closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts about everything. 

▲ “Ever since you brought me back here, I have been wondering what the hell I am to you. Of course I know that you do not touch me due to whatever my past was, but why keep me here when you could live a good life with some lad?” 

▲ Was it that easy for him to ask? If they traveled, they would go clubbing? Maybe Matt was bored of him.  He wondered if he should just pack up and leave.  Mello didn’t break his stance with the male, wondering if he should speak up or shut up.  Maybe all of this was just stupid and he was acting like a brat. Mello wasn’t sure. 

[jiivxs]

His words surely raised a brow, Matt had not realised that by keeping a distance he was doing more bad than good. “Mello... What would you say if I said I had strong feelings for you?” He sucked in a breath and held it, closing his eyes for a moment before he allowed himself to once more breath. 

“I adore you Mihael.” He cupped his cheek gently and pressed a wary kiss to his lips, hoping he wouldn’t be mad. Possibly they could work this out and be together, it was the ideal.

Though, Matt could only hope that would be how things went from here on out, there was not telling how Mello would react to such a thing.

[jiivxs]

Đᵣᵢᵥₑ Бᵞ

[jawliet-deactivated20220422]

The place of residence became a fact in front of his eyes, reality began to kick in and his eyes contained curiosity His own place was an apartment. Obnoxiously loud neighbors were an agitated part of a shared building, so to witness a separated house gave a form of solitude. One that brought the most comfort to him. “You live in a house. Good. No loud neighbors to cause any form of disturbance.”

His arm that wasn’t injured during the car crash fondled with the seat belt to release its grip to then open the door. Careful motions brought himself to a standing position as the door was closed. Not ever did Jawliet see himself share anything with another person. So convinced for pain to be delivered like a merciless monster, but Matt hadn’t given such a thing. On purpose that was. The house appeared to be small, cozy. Now it was a matter of maintaining a pleasant environment for his new caretaker, but he had doubts about the consistency of that.

[jiivxs]

Matt didn’t help as the other got out of the car, instead allowing him to do so for himself. “The neighborhood is pretty quiet, there’s only a few kids and they’re pretty nice.” Mat spoke softly as he unlocked the front door. “Make yourself comfortable.” He allowed the male to step inside before himself, and locked the door behind him before hanging his keys on a peg. “I keep the keys here if you ever need them.” 

After showing him the essentials of the house, Matt settled on the couch with a soft sigh. “How does ordering pizza sound to you?” He flicked through the menu before tossing it over to the other. “What toppings do you have?” Life was going to be pretty relaxing with Jawliets company, and he somewhat felt slightly more at ease in his own home than ever before, it was indeed odd.

[jiivxs]

Đᵣᵢᵥₑ Бᵞ

[jawliet-deactivated20220422]

A scarce glimpse of a wink reached through the dimmed goggles, still so confused why such eyewear was worn. But it was far from the same intensity of confusion like the sentence he spoke so effortlessly. “Cute wounded guy…” He mumbled. Would this cause an alteration in his behavior when time began to tick away?  “I don’t notice any form of indecency in your behavior. It’s comfortable.”

Not only that, but an immensely improved form of interaction from those drug addicts Jawliet was enforced to tolerate daily. When spoken about sleep he rolled his eyes. What an annoyance that was to pursue. Nightmarish visions and restless nights, sleep barely lived up to its name. “I do not sleep a lot. Usually early in the morning.” Would it be wise to unravel the truth about the selling of drugs? No. A risk to lose shelter and care was present and it was important to survive this injury. As much as he despised the truth, Jawliet couldn’t do it alone.

[jiivxs]

As the brunette mimicked his words, he could not help but reflect on the others genuinely placid mannerisms. Despite him being somewhat reserved, he never seemed to be of any disturbance and Matt appreciated that immensely. 

“I suppose your point is valid, nevertheless I may be flippant at times, though there is a low chance you may ever piss me off. So I think you’re safe to stick around.”

Nodding as he answered his previous questions the redhead pulled up into the drive of his small home, at least it wasn't an apartment. However, it was indeed small and only had one bedroom he was sure one of them could make due with the couch, that one being him. 

“Home sweet home.” Yawning delicately, he cupped a hand over his mouth to suppress the soft noise that left his throat, before turning to the other for a reaction to his abode. 

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

Changes

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

▲ A road trip? Was that a good idea? Mello wasn’t even sure how he was feeling, and he felt like he was just an inconvenience to Matt at this point. Maybe it would be better if he left.

▲ Maybe he was being a shithead and ungrateful.  Mello shook his head and then went back to making the plates for breakfast. “Sorry, just forget it.”  The blonde wasn’t trying to make things worse, but he knew that he was fucking up. This wasn’t right, and he just hated himself for being so bad.

▲ “I am just being moody, I suppose.”  Matt did try, but Mello needed a bit more.  Still, he felt guilty for needing anything. His back was to Matt now and when he turned around the plate was ready. “I will make some tea.” Mello turned away once more, grabbing the kettle.  He was just trying to figure out what he really needed.

▲ Mello felt himself holding in all of his emotions.  He wanted to escape, he wanted to just have fun and be free. Slowly, he inhaled, and then grabbed everything for the tea.  It was strange, but he just wanted to be happy.  He wanted Matt to be happy.

[jiivxs]

Matt raised a brow at the others response, did he not like the idea of travelling or was there more to this? “Mello...” He moved the blond’s hands away from the kettle and held them tightly in his own. 

It wasn’t often that he felt anything for anyone, and since that night at the whore house months ago Matt had not made a move on the blond, not touched him at all- giving him complete and utter space. 

But, now he was testing his self control, how he wanted to hold him and soothe him, tell him that everything would be alright. But, he couldn’t.

“Mello. I meant me and you, we could go around the states, you know you like learning new things so maybe it would be good for you to get out a little, and at night we could go out clubbing.” Twining their fingers together he sighed, hoping that he could do something to help, but not at all knowing what. 

[deathnotetruths]

"If someone with Shinigami eyes looked at me, what name would they have seen?" Mello’s eyes rolled in his direction. “Mail fucking Jeevas, why?” “Where did that come from?” Matt raised a hand. “Hear me out. At the risk of sounding like Shakespeare, what’s in a name? I was never registered. My name might be something that my Dad made up on the spot during the only time he spoke to me. I haven’t officially got a name. I’ve been called Matt nearly as long as I’ve been called Mail; if you check the list on Roger’s computer, my name’s It Matters, which I will not answer to, by the way. You go on the EHC and they’ll tell you my name is Mariomatt. I’ve been called that for as long as I’ve been Matt.” He lit a cigarette. “So where is the name coming from? If the Shinigami goes and looks it up at the Registrar’s, then am I immune from Death Notes? If it’s the name that you secretly call yourself, then mine changes, even in my head, depending on the circumstances. If it needs an official name, then I suppose that my passport name might cover it, but I don’t feel like a Steven.”

Poisoned Rationality (Ch. 32) by Matilda (via deathnotetruths)

[wastedsxnner-deactivated2015052]

Changes

▲ It had been months since Matt had taken Mello in from the whore house, and after relocating, they still found an apartment that was as equivalently as shitty as the last. Mello was starting to find himself. learning more of his hobbies, interests, and whatever else.  It wasn’t easy as the time passed because he was changing.  As his personality became less watered down, the more it became obvious that he was becoming bolder.  With his disorders, he tended to snap more, his attitude was changing, and he focused on different things, and his mind was always going. 

▲ Sleep was rare for him, and he was trying to live normal life.  He glanced around and then found his friend sleeping.  Matt usually gamed, constantly. He sighed and made his way to the kitchen once more and began to cook, but this all seemed to be a repeat cycle. Mello was growing bored, and he was exhausted.  There wasn’t much he could do, and he really needed stimulation.

▲ Once he heard the man stirring, he sighed. This housewife career had become stale, and that was the last that he needed.  Even though he was pleased not to be a whore any longer, he was still struggling with the day-to-day life.

▲ Finally, Mello decided that he was going to change things. As Matt came out into the kitchen, he turned to the redhead and sighed. “I am unhappy.” It was that simple for him to say, his eyes narrowed. He didn’t mean to be so resentful, but he wasn’t doing enough in his life. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right, so he needed this change, this new pace of life. 

▲ Matt mattered to him, but he also had enough of putting himself last.  Mello was just too depressed, and there had to be a change… Eventually. 

[jiivxs]

Matt had thought that lately things were going fine, Mello seemed to be so much more comfortable in his new life- even if things were a little mundane. 

Waking up from his usual afternoon nap that he took every saturday evening previous to a full night of gaming, Matt stretched and headed for the kitchen where he could hear pots and pans banging about. Maybe Mello was cooking something for tea? He often did, and Matt appreciated it wholesomely.

But the words he was now faced with didn’t shock him, more so made him feel as though he was doing a bad job at this. Considering Matt wasn’t the most fun person to be around, and his life itself was pretty much boring as shit, Mello needed something adventurous. Maybe he could think of something.

“I see... How about a road trip?” It was the first thing that came to his mind, but Mello would like that right? Going to see different places and learn new things, though this time he wouldn’t have to see it all through a square box in the dismal, shitty, little flat. 

[jiivxs]

Đᵣᵢᵥₑ Бᵞ

He felt the hand that meant no wrong touch that sensitive part of his body. A shock went through his form expressed through a small gasp. His mind calculated a touch of sympathy, yet it somehow contradicted in an intolerable energy.  Reminding him towards that time those touches weren’t as gentle as Matt’s. Eyes shot to make eye contact. Desperately beaming through that glass layer of his goggles. “I am alright. Just drive.” He hastily uttered. Preventing any purposeless pain he leaned against the softness of the chair. Analyzing the view that shot passed his eyes. His mind constantly spread doubt. Was any of this dealt with accordingly? His knowledge generally lacked to form a useful system, but he had no choice but to use it. “You seem polite. I expected little from you on our first encounter, but as of now it seems that I was wrong.” He admitted.

Matt waited for the other to settle into his seat before he started up the engine and drove off, keeping both hands and eyes on the wheel to ensure sheer concentration, despite the fact that his mind was racing through thoughts of how his life would be now he’d gained a new resident.

“I’m only half decent to you because I hit you with my car, plus I couldn’t say no to the cute wounded guy now could I?” He glanced over to the other with a small wink beneath his goggles, before regaining his focus on the road. When they hit the red light he tapped his fingers against the wheel. “So, what times do you usually sleep and wake up?” Matt worked from home so he could change his sleep schedule to match his new friends.

jawliet​

[mkaiser323]

It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

[iamdone9]

Being a dick even to demons

[jiivxs]

BLOG MOVE AND URL CHANGE

{sadisticchocoholic now mello-m-keehl}

I switched Mello to my main since he is my more active muse, and Matt to my side.

Mello Blog now here - - - - - > X

[jiivxs]

Sashay away

[itsflake]

He looked over once they were at a red light, chuckling a little. “I’m fourty eight” he admitted, blushing a little as he looked on the road again. He hoped that wouldn’t cause Mello to get out and leave. “I guess you’re quite a bit younger than me, hm?” he asked, sighing a bit.

[jiivxs]

Mello raised a brow at the other’s age, before grinning and reaching over to stroke his thigh. “I’m twenty two, daddy.” Glancing over quickly he scanned the other males face for a reaction, perhaps he was into that, maybe not? He wouldn’t know. Maybe this could be fun for both of them, though he was getting the feeling the other wasn’t too up for it. “Tell me, daddy. What exactly are you into?”

[jiivxs]

Narcissists

[trtns]

As Sasuke’s concentration was focussed on his own hair, carefully flat ironing his fringe so it sat in the exact position, the other model’s words take a while to settle in his mind. 

Nor am I, but I don’t hear you complaining about that …. ?

Had that been a sexual remark? Sasuke’s eyes narrow and he hesitates as he wonders over the idea. How strange. 

But look at this, the blonde was welcoming his way over, purposely swinging his hips in an overly seductive manner that had no effect on Sasuke. With brows narrowed he watches the other model in the mirror and does not take his eyes from him. 

He was rude, invading his personal space like this and getting so close. “Step away from me.” He says, clear warning in his tone as it contrasts with the blonde’s soft taunting one. “You have no reason to be so close, get away.” 

[jiivxs]

Mello simply snorted at the others lack of response, but when he spoke up blond brows wiggled as he made no attempt to move away from the other male. In fact, he ran a single finger tip along the side of his neck, blowing softly on his ear before he stepped back. 

“We’re going to be much closer during the shoot. Loosen up a little.”

Mello tried to be well behaved when on the job, but right now this guy was just asking for it, and he didn’t know if he’d be able to hold off on teasing him.

“You do know you’re shooting with me, right?”

Leaning against the wall he lit up a smoke, figuring the raven was going to take as much time as he pleased to get ready anyway so he may as well relax.

[jiivxs]

Sashay away

[itsflake]

He sighed a bit, definetely not happy with that perspective. Maybe he should just let it be and go home alone as he always did? But that was such a depressing thought… Even taking someone home just for sex was better, though he really despised the thought. “Yeah… as long as the ash and stuff doesn’t fall inside” he murmured, starting the car. “Thanks” He smiled, pulling onto the road. 

[jiivxs]

Mello nodded to the other and tipped his head back against the headrest, watching lights flash by as the older male drove. “How old are you?” He didn’t like small talk, but he was genuinely finding it difficult to place an age on the other. 

[jiivxs]

Sashay away

[itsflake]

Flake led him over to his car, opening the door for him and holding it. As he saw that the other was smoking again, he sighed. “I’d prefer it if you wouldn’t smoke in the car and the house” he told him. Yeah, he was needy, but a he wanted cuddles and not sex and b he didn’t want to have that stinky smoke hanging about his house for days. “Yeah, I do” he said, raising an eyebrow. No cuddles and drunk sex? And no kisses? This evening just got worse and worse. But at least the guy looked divine?

[jiivxs]

Mello took one last drag on his smoke before stomping it out “Sure thing. Mind if I smoke out the window at your place?” He wasn’t planning on sticking around for too long after the dead was done, but Mello didn’t like to move too much after sex, and did enjoy a nice cigarette afterwards to help him slowly come back to reality. “Nice car.” He stared on ahead, as he slipped into the seat and got comfortable.