Hello everyone💓
I havent really been on this account for a long time now but I never properly bid my farewell. I feel as if a part of me never wanted to let go, but it’s time..
I started this account when I was 15 and I’m now 18, so needless to say things have changed.
Why I became inactive in the first place:
Junior year was a very unstable emotional rollercoaster filled with lots of confusion and frustrations, with unfortunately barely any space for fanficion/smau writing. My brain could not produce shit through the ages 16-17.
However..
Now in my senior year, i’m doing good :) I feel as if i’m beginning to feel like myself again- not necessarily how i was before though, rather a modified more wise and mature version of that. It feels as if i am gaining my wings. Finding my place and finding myself, slowly learning how to fly. It’s been good. Unfortunately though, I have trouble tapping into my fangirl side. And I have for a while. I suppose when one’s mind is so preoccupied with a million other things at a time, it’s easy for things to get jumbled up in the mess, and i’m still having a hard time untangling it. I have not grown out of creating. It is in fact the farthest from that, instead i’m growing more into it now and trying my hardest to motivate myself. However, I don’t have in me to do fangirl/stan type things anymore... I guess i’ve grown out of it?
For this, I want to apologize, because in a way I feel guilty, but I also shouldn’t apologize for that. Nothing stays the same forever. I feel guilt for leaving you guys in the dark for so long though and never returning to my unfinished work. In a way, I guess I wasn’t ready to accept it, and I was too confused to understand it even. But now it’s oficial.
I’m still a kpop fan though ! but I’m just not a stan/fangirl anymore. It’s really weird saying that since that’s been in my nature for the biggest part of my life (since age 10). But people change, and life goes one, so, yeah.
I want to thank all of you guys so much for being part of this journey with me and giving me so much love. I’ve loved this experience so much and it’s one of the reasons why it’s so hard to part with it. This gave me so much when I had nothing. It is such an integral part of the better half of my battle with myself. The strength I received from this account and from the simple act of creating smaus, means so much to me. It’s everything. I am forever thankful for this account, and for you guys. I will never forget. I will forever cherish this and you guys. Thank you. I love you.
Love always.
And for old times sake: here’s my masterlist :)
https://jikooksocial101.tumblr.com/post/169007512908/jikooksocial101-au-masterlists
💫High School AU 💫 Jungkook is angsty. In this he will learn to let go of his worries and just be himself. He will acknowledge that he has be
