Just be happy - Hwang Hyunjin
Warnings: Angst, gender neutral
It's basically a late night mental breakdown so enjoy
Note: it's my first imagine or whatever you wanna call it, so if you see any grammar mistakes and stuff like that please don't be rude and just tell me so I can correct them. Thank you.
It's way past midnight already. Everything's pitch black but your eyes are used to it by now. You can see everything, not perfectly, but in a more abstract way. That one lonely chair looked like a man trying to mind his own business. The clothes that were piling on one side of your bed seemed like a mountain ready to crumble at any second.
And he, he looked as good as ever. Even without the moonlight his skin glowed. His hair a bit messy falling over his forehead. His lips shaped into a small frown that somehow still looked breathtaking. And like every other night he was looking over you.
You were laying on your bed turning and tossing for ages and it took him longer than usual to realize that and come to make you sleep. You were on your back looking at the ceiling while he was on his side. His hand supporting his head as he loses himself in your beauty. It's nothing new, except he wasn't saying anything. He was completely silent the whole time. He would usually tell you sweet nothings until your eyes closed and all your worries disappeared along with him.
But it was different today and you couldn't help but notice that. It's kinda like he wasn't there, like his mind is absent , so you decided to tell him something you wanted for a while now, hoping that he wouldn't realize what you were saying.
"You know." You started "I always think about how you feel. And how you spend your days while I'm not around." His eyes found you again. He loves listening to you even though he barely gets to. "Sometimes I see you every day and sometimes I don't see you for months. And during that time I completely forget about you." You continued feeling a bit guilty "I only remember you in times like this. When I can't sleep or when I'm crying my soul out. I also remember you when I feel numb to everything or when my body aches because I wasn't taking care of myself. But I never know what you are doing while I'm happy".
You finely got enough courage to look at him. You didn't expect it but he was smiling. He was happy but your heart was aching knowing that you only use him when you need him. You knew that and he knew that too but he still looked happy.
"You see. It's not about me. It's about you. My only purpose is to make you happy and that means when you're happy you don't need me. So when you're happy I don't have a purpose."
You only now realized he maybe was happy but that didn't mean he didn't hurt. You couldn't see it but you could bet that behind his angelic smile was an acing heart. It was only now that you realized how important he is to you.
"But that's not fair. " You whispered. "What if I forget about you and never remember you again? " You asked with a tear sliding down your cheek. "And even if I do remember you forever what happens when I die?" You added. By now you were sobbing. You were desperate to hug him and burry your face into his neck and let him comfort you. But you knew that was impossible.
"I don't know what happens." He said with a reassuring smile. "And I don't care. I'm here because you were unhappy so as long as you're happy I don't matter." His voice was soft and calming with a strange tint of sadness. "You know I'm not real and you're probably going to forget about me really soon. But that's okay. I promise I'll live in your mind forever, even if you don't know it yourself. I promise I'll make you smile how ever I can."
It was truly haunting. The way he looked so real and angelic. Or how you could recognize him anywhere. How you knew exactly what he looked like, but he wasn't real. His voice wasn't real. His eyes weren't real and even his beautiful smile wasn't real. You couldn't help but cry. You really couldn't. You were sobbing and sobbing but after all you knew you couldn't do anything about it.
"Shh. Please don't cry. You know I'm here to make you smile so let's just cherish this moment we have together, yeah? " He said. "Tomorrow when you wake up you won't remember anything and you'll be happy without me. "
Hearing his words made you stop crying for a second just to look at him one more time. "But Hyunjin I can't be happy without you. I just can't. " You cried out.
"Calm down." His voice was becoming a whisper. "Just close your eyes, okay? Everything is gonna be fine as soon as you wake up." You didn't want to but you listened to him anyways. You were already extremely tired and your eyes closed on their own. "That's right" His voice was even quieter and distant. "I'll always protect you and love you, just be happy." He said through what sounded like quiet sobs. You can swear you felt his lips on your forehead before he went silent and you fell asleep.
In the end he was right. Next morning you were completely fine and happy. But there's one more thing he was right about, you completely forgot everything. You forgot about crying for him. You forgot about his voice, his eyes and his smile. You forgot about him. But you were finely happy with him living as memory lost somewhere in your mind.

















