ᯓ★ 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑
͙͘͡͡★ GENRE: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort
͙͘͡★ WARNINGS: None
͙͘͡★ CHARACTERS: Chris, Y/N
͙͘͡★ WORD COUNT: 1.2k
͙͘͡★ SYNOPSIS: Y/N returns to Chris after pushing him away
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Despite how often Y/N pushed him away, Chris never held it against her. Even if it hurt him more than he wanted to admit sometimes, he knew the only way to get her to trust him completely after years of being mistreated by other people was to gently coax her out of her shell and know when to let her come to him, or when it was his place to go to her. He loved her too much to rush the fragile process; he would gladly wait for as long as it took if it meant she'd be fully his when it came to emotions, the way he was already full hers.
After a week of one word answers and closed up expressions, Y/N now stood in the doorway of his bedroom. Jeongin must have let her in. Pushing down the headphones from his head upon seeing the sliver of golden light from the hallway spill into his dark room, Chris turned in his chair and took in the sight of her. Her eyes were wild and full of unconcealed emotion, her fingers curled into trembling fists by her thighs, and her cheeks were blotchy as if she had been crying and her tears had dried unevenly on her skin. Her lips formed a subtle pout as if she was trying not to cry again, her chin dimpled.
She looked wretched, to say the least. But the way she was looking at him in the shadows of his room was nothing short of vulnerable and completely open, and Chris's heart split clean down the middle at her appearance.
Wordlessly, Chris held his arms out to her from across the room. She stood frozen in the doorway for a moment, bar the erratic rise and fall of her chest, the sound of her quiet breaths the only sound in the room. The yearning reflected in the depths of her gaze robbed Chris of his breath. She looked as though she wanted nothing more than to surrender and fall into his arms, yet something inside of her kept pulling her back, like a leash, keeping her from moving.
Chris waited, his arms outstretched. His triceps began to burn from keeping them there, but he didn't dare to drop them. He had a feeling she might close off again if he gave up on his offer to hold her.
Sure enough, like a cautious cat, Y/N unfroze. She stumbled across the room towards him, and with a sniffle she let Chris pull her into his arms so she was straddling his lap. One of his arms locked around her waist before she could change her mind and move away again, and his other hand gently cradled the back of her head as he led it to the safe junction beneath his chin, tucking her carefully into the relaxed curve of his body.
Her entire body shook in his embrace, her breaths broken to Chris's ears. She clutched feebly at the warm material of his t-shirt that fell over his sides, and he pulled her even closer, squeezing her as tight as he could without hurting her. His hands moved constantly over her body in tender strokes; one hand rubbing slowly circles over her back, the one card through her hair and kissing her scalp. His chin rested on top of her head, his eyes falling shut with emotion as he felt her slowly melt in his arms.
With his heartbeat gentle beneath her cheek, Y/N's breathing began to even out. Her shaking subsided and the tiny broken whimpers that kept slipping out of her halted too. Chris's warmth flooded in through her oversized top and seeped into her chilled skin, heating her internal system and soothing her fractured state. His scent was deep and sweet and so familiar that for a moment, wrapped up in his arms, her mind grew quiet. She didn't have the energy to push him away or to rebuild the strong walls of independence and pride around her again. His hold on her was far too comforting, far too right in that moment for her to revert back into the isolated state she usually clung so desperately to.
When her arms stopped feeling like jelly, Y/N lifted them slowly and looped them around Chris's neck. She buried her face into his shoulder and inhaled more of his scent as his own grip tightened around her waist and tugged her closer on his thighs until she was pressed flush against his front. His fingertips were delicate as they continued to caress her scalp, and his plush lips found their way to her temple, pressing slow, lingering kisses across the area. Each one left a tingly, heated sensation behind, and Y/N exhaled slowly with each one.
Her eyes prickled at how gentle he was being with her. She knew she wasn't very good at letting herself be taken care of, even though it was all she had ever craved. Her own personal issues were rooted far too deep inside of her, and she struggled to trust anyone who came into her life. Her unwillingness to open up often pushed away anyone who tried to befriend her after a few weeks; people didn’t care enough to try and peep back the layers wrapped around her. Yet here was Chris, treating her like she actually mattered. He had immediately stopped working to give her his full attention and care. He didn't care about her insecurities, or the way she tried to pull away from him as hard as she could. If anything, it just made him love her more, and made him want to show her what proper care felt like.
It was a foreign feeling. It made her sniffle again into the crook of his neck, and he instinctively squeezed her into him, his hand starting to pat her head.
Neither of them spoke. But a thousand silent words floated around them both, conveying each one of their complicated feelings to the other.
Chris kept kissing the top of her head, delivering soft butterfly pecks that filled Y/N's body with a growing calm, and a warmth that she could feel all the way down to her toes. The rigid set to her body had melted completely now, and she was like a pliable putty moulded into his body, half laying on top of him in his big revolving chair. His hand travelled from her back down to her waist, and then to her thigh, his palm sweeping up and down in soothing strokes.
When she finally looked up after what felt like hours, Chris was already looking down at her. His eyes were tender, sparkling under the pointed glow of his laptop and decorative lights on the wall. The delicate skin at the very corners of his eyes crinkled with a loving smile, and Y/N's face broke into a watery smile of her own. Lips parting as Chris chuckled quietly at her expression, he cupped the back of her head and brought her close so he could kiss her forehead.
His fingers brushed the hair away from her face, each touch dripping with a reverence that made her heart flutter. Y/N kept looking up at him, her face flushing with shyness, and Chris grinned at her, his touch lingering on the back of her neck as his thumb caressed the skin there. Unable to take the intensity of his gaze, Y/N dropped her face back into his chest, huddling close to him, and she scrunched her eyes shut in soft joy as he hugged her back, enveloping her in arms that she knew wouldn't let go.
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