Who Am I?

When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination- everything and anything except for me. - Ralph Ellison 앂콜!'s bassist

[95nahyun-deactivated20160210]

*taps mic* Okay so―I KNOW WE ALL ARE TIRED OF THESE BUT IDC. 690+ followers!!! (please don’t mind the number, it increased after i made my graphic but i couldn’t wait :< ) this post rather than to thank simply for ‘following’ me. I want to thank y’all for interacting with one of my favorite muses that sadly I’m letting go of (I’m gonna explain a bit my reasons) BUT NO SADDIES. I wish you all can give a chance to my new baby ; ; I promise I will work hard so you can genuinely like her ^^;

Ahem’ anyway…

Keep reading

[miulkk-deactivated20151207]

[her expression halts in embarrassment, from having her hand up in the air waiting to be held.  she, however, feigns to make a motion to the bus, though, is not necessary. a simple bow of head, that seemed to be more suitable and she does so.] Eh? No. Maybe only 5 or 6 stops.  [a quick glance to her feet is all she takes before she can hop on the bus, find a seat for the two of them and glance back to him. a proper answer is slow to form, she chews on her bottom lip before she can give one and a soft humming can be heard.] It is a flower.  My mom thinks of me as one, but– what mom, doesn’t? [And so a jesting comment meant with good humor slips past her lips along a chuckle.] but don’t ask me more, because I actually know what it means and it’s kinda totally different from how lovely might sound. Jieun will do. [the laughter that bubbles and pops in the air, makes her facade become brighter. the smile that adorns, never leaving her features.]  How about you? Heading to college? work? a date, maybe? 

[jinpatrol]

[He feels uncomfortable, but he takes a seat beside her. The flower image appearing in his mind and comparing it her name. He knows nothing about her but says] Hm, you look like a flower so I’m sure your mom is right. [he smiles and feeling a little self conscious and nervous around strangers so he places his hands over his cheeks, if only for the moment he laughs] Jieun works for me. [he’s naturally curious when she says not to ask more, but he holds back and simply switches the conversation to himself] A date? Nothing like that. College? Nothing like that either. I’m just out and about for today. Might go to a records store. [he doesn’t plan on seeing her again and the thought of expressing himself feels like a load is being lifted from his shoulders. They say the best talks are with strangers sometimes] Maybe I will apply for a few jobs, I’m in a band right now and admittedly, although I split the bills, it doesn’t pay them. [he doesn’t expect her to understand. If he wasn’t living the life or came from one that was well off, he wouldn’t either. She looks put together as if her life is well organized] And what about you? College I assume?

[hydriade-deactivated20160203]

[...]

“I’m already drunk or.. I don’t know.” A joyless laugh between the smokes she exhaled, she walked closer to him, not caring about that precious personal bubble. With a shrug, she tilted her head to her side, taking a look at his face. Oh how she wished to let her red nails creating crimson scars on his skin. But no, he wasn’t dangerous. He was nothing. “But I’m curious.. What do you need to forget me?” 

[jinpatrol]

He steps outside with her, not bothering to look back again or hold the door open. Outside the air is everything but fresh. He wishes to be alone but he feels as if the people are crowding in on them, everything he says, does will be notice and he can’t afford for her play victim while tears stream from her eyes. He’s had one audience for the night, another is unwanted. 

Here she is, laughter instead of tears and it makes him furious; how she is so conniving and mischievous in his eyes that he wants nothing more but to end things. End them as quickly as possible with as less bloodshed as possible, but he knows they’ll have bloodshed and they’ll drag it until another season. Tonight, they’ll be back together and maybe he’ll even get lucky. In the morning there would be another fight and he’d swear she was a piece of trash that he found on the street. He’d swear around him, she felt like she was something. She needed him.  

Her words don’t surprise him, there is the scent of alcohol on her breath, but alcohol didn’t make her this way. "Don’t be curious, can you just listen?” He doesn’t wait or care for her to respond and quickly cuts back in, “Like I said don’t show up. Because of you I fucked up- I always do.” 

He kicks one of the beer bottles from someone else’s wild night. He wants to kick it gently, just a tap to distract himself from her. Instead, it turns out to be one forceful kick, one full of bound frustration and agitation that shatters against the wall. That’s how their relationship was, “We’ll end up like that if you keep this up. I’ve done my part so do yours. Do you need money to get home? Is that it?” He pulls out his wallet and tosses his last ₩10,000 bill on the ground, “There.”

[skawngur]

2014 사랑의 단상 CHAPTER 5 COVER & BOOKLET

[yurato-deactivated20161103]

dear handsome and loveable jin

Dear Jin, 

First of all, you are neither of those things because you’re always rude to me and highly inappropriate.  We know each other for a couple of weeks and you’ve already told me you love me around… 100+ times, which I must say, made me very uncomfortable. Yet, it’s surprisingly nice to have such a loyal fanboy as you are - I’m kidding. Well, not really. Joking aside, I can’t say much about you yet and I constantly have to fight the urge to make fun of you but I will try to be nice right now. You’re an easy person to get along with - you’re talkative, you’re funny (sometimes) and you just click with people fast, which is definitely a good thing. I’m sorry I’m very busy and easily distracted, but you know that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy your company whenever I get the chance to hang out with you. I believe our timing is just stupidly different and one of us is always asleep when the other is awake, but still. I hope you know you’re a good person and whatever you do in your life, no one’s allowed to judge you. I will be a walking  cliché and say; be who you are, because no one does that better than you. Thanks for checking up on me whenever you have the time, even if I don’t actually say it, I appreciate it. A tiny, microscopic bit of love,Ahyoung. 

[jinpatrol]

JINGUK GO

Send me a ship and I’ll tell you

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa: Jeongguk because he’s always drunk or high or smth like that 

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them: Jin (?)

Who starts the tickle fights: Jin

Who starts the pillow fights: Jeongguk.

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile: haha Jeongguk.

Who mistakes salt for sugar: Jin

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning: Jeongguk…maybe Jin too. 

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines: Jeongguk

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order: Jin.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies: Jeongguk.

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion: Jin.

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen: Jeongguk and it’s probably something dumb.

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation: Jin

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines: Jin.

[933005]

He leaned against the counter, arms folded close to his chest. The assumption the male made stirred a laugh from Lucas not because of its outrageousness but it was dead on accurate. “I hate parties, man. You can call me an introvert, it won’t offend me. I prefer to be in an environment where I can hear my own thoughts, so to speak.” He turned around to behold the packed streets. This was an exception, mainly because it was normal for the abundance of people to be out, especially with this type of weather. He smiled, eyes still focused on the pedestrians before he reverted his gaze back to the male. “What about you? Do you prefer the sound of a person drunk out of his mind or the tick of the clock that people hardly ever realize it exists?” 

[jinpatrol]

“That’s not uncommon,” he said while leaning his elbows on the counter, “Sometimes it’s nice to take time to yourself, thinking about anything and everything. But maybe that’s not for me.” He watched the vendor, preparing their food as he thought about the word introvert. Jin didn’t consider that negative. “Introvert? It wouldn’t offend me either if I qualified as one.” He wasn’t prepared for the next question. “Considering that I am usually that person drunk out of his mind on the weekend- maybe that one? It’s the most logical.” He reached for their orders, passing the other his food as he continued his thoughts, “I’m usually surrounded by sound. If not during shows, then during practices, and if not practices, i live with two younger roommates. Hearing clocks tick isn’t too plausible.”

[yurato-deactivated20161103]

Jin and Yura (:

♡ Send me a ship and I’ll tell you

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa: Jin and Yura laughs when he slams it in his face c:

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them: Jin. He’s quite the fanboy. 

Who starts the tickle fights: Jin, because he thinks Yura is ticklish, but  she’s not :|

Who starts the pillow fights: Yura, it’s cool to beat him up. 

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile: Ew. Jin probably stares at Yura like Edward Cullen. 

Who mistakes salt for sugar: JIN!!!!

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning: ALSO JIN !!!

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines: J IN.

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order: ( I almost said Sohee ) Yura.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies: Jin, Yura would smear chocolate on his face.

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion: Yura.

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen: Yura would draw little penises on Jin’s arms, I guess. 

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation: Yura, Jin would never think of something nice 8(

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines: Jin, cause he wants to see if they match and Yura’s like ‘nah’. 

[jinpatrol]

wonwoov | ( in response to this )

Gasps at dramatically, places a hand onto his chest and looks at the male in mock shock. “I would never..” he says head shaking and turning away dramatically. “Is that all I am to you, that friend who pulls cheap jokes?” he asks instead looking at the wall. “I see I’m already dead to you, i never knew this is how we would end, I can feel my heart cracking. It hurts, I hope you feel this pain someday too..” huffs turning back to playfully glare in his direction.

"I'm not jumping to conclusions," he turned around, searching on all sides of him, "but yes you are the type to pull jokes...and even i have to admit, they're funny sometimes." He lifts the blanekts, continuing his search for any unknown items that might distrub his sleep. "We're not in a movie," he glances back at the other before taking his pillow and throwing it at his younger companion. "Sure you're not hidding a whoopie cushion or something under these blankets?"

[jinpatrol]

Excuse me? Why are you ignoring me? Me? Your favourite person?

Ignoring you?! Excuse you, I'm the real victim here. You’ve forgotten about your favorite hyung. 

[jinpatrol]

leexareum | ( in response to this ) 

Areum gave a slight chuckle at his statement. “I know, right?” She couldn’t help but chuckle again as she recalled the memory of the fight between three people at the cafe that day. It wasn’t just a normal fight. It turned out a guy had forgotten he had set the same date in the same place with his two girlfriends. It didn’t end well for him. “He should have been more careful. I ended up having to deal with those two girls. It wasn’t a good day.”

“Did you have to punch someone?” he joked, imagining the situation. In all honestly, that could have been him (but who is that dumb to set up a date at the same location at the same time). It was quite the story. “Well, I’m sure you won’t see him again. I would be too embarrassed to show my face. I’ll come visit next week though. Coffee before a show like usual. It seems to be the only way I can get through warm up.” 

[suga-com-deactivated20191024]

[933005]

If there was any method in erasing the awkwardness within an atmosphere, it’d be food. There was nothing better than indulging oneself to food to avoid conversation with someone across the table. Lucas wasn’t going to let that happen, at least on his end. “Right, I’m starving.” He turned his attention to the stand, licking his lips at the aromatic sight. “In case you forgot, I’m Lucas. It was merely out of intense boredom but look what happened out of it. I got myself some nice street food and someone to share it with.” He chuckled, signaling the vendor for two sticks of the fried squid. 

[jinpatrol]

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a few wadded bills and placing them on the counter. Whether or not that covered the total, he wasn’t sure but price didn’t t matter too much if you’re making friends, right? “Likewise,” he smiled, “I thought it would be kinda fun to meet a stranger in a sea of people like this- granted how we got here wasn’t ideal, but it’s all good.” Their atmosphere wasn’t awfully awkward, but it wasn’t great either. He’d put in more effort. He eyed the male, trailing from his feet to his dark hair. “You don’t look like the party type. Are you?” He is often tactless, speaking whatever is on his mind. This time was no different. .

[95qt]

✿ + Taejin

send me ✿ + a ship and i’ll tell you…

who is more excited for halloween? Tae for sure.

who gives the best gifts? Jin does.

who sings along to the radio the loudest? Tae.

who actually finishes a book they’ve started? Jin. Tae barely reads.

who falls asleep during a movie? Jin because his weak, can’t stay awake to save his life.

who plans a surprise getaway vacation? Jin because his good with ideas.

who comes home with useless decorative knick knacks for the house every single day? Neither.

who takes more pictures? Tae

who likes baths? who likes showers? Jin likes baths. Tae like showers.

who keeps a weekly planner? Jin, maybe.

who actually watches the discovery channel? Tae, he actually likes learning.

who brings up having kids first? I think Tae. He would like children one day.

who fixes things around the house when they break? Jin…

who leaves their dirty towels on the floor? JIN JIN JIN *sweats*

who makes the coffee in the morning? Tae, because that’s what he needs to get the day going.

who gets jealous over very petty things? Uh, Jin?

who exercises more? Jin, because Tae likes to eat and lay around and get fat.

who starts listening to christmas music in october? Tae….

who actually reads the newspaper? Jin, because his an old man.

[miulkk-deactivated20151207]

[attentive, she slopes her head to the side with furrowed eyebrows and mouth slightly opened. an expression that displayed pure haziness through bright round eyes.] I think… it means valuable. I’m pretty sure I read it somewhere. [devoid of guile and straightforward, that was Jieun and her way to speak. no filters. countenance shifts in, more soft. she gives a curt nod before explaining further.]  I didn’t mean to bother, though. Since we’re both waiting here I thought would be nice to start a conversation [and there’s when the slight foreign accent comes. when the speed of her speech increased. and as of habit, she holds out a hand to shake his.]  I’m Jieun-or-Lily. It’s ok both ways. 

[jinpatrol]

Valuable? [his eyebrows raise in curiosity. She has this figured out, he thinks.] Bother? I think I’m much more of a bother to you. I see you here sometimes, waiting for the bus but never had the will to speak up. I’m ashamed but also glad you spoke up for the both of us. [he hears the bus before his sight follows, the large vehicle stopping in front of their path before he looks at her.] You first. Are you traveling far today? [he takes a step forward, but he stops when he hears her name. Her tone is somewhat foreign, but her face is all Korean. He tilts his head, refraining from inquiring about it just yet] Lily, just like the flower flower. However, Jieun is easier to pronounce. Which do you prefer? 

[jinpatrol]

yienetic | ( in response to this )

「ӎ」┄ “ Whoa wha— what happened, man? “

 Swiftly turning on his heels at the sound of the other male’s voice, Mark catches the  other male just in time to see the once perfectly intact burger that was situated between  the other’s hands, broken into pieces lying lifelessly on the cold hard ground. He  figures the other had dropped it, unfortunately, and he feels nothing but sympathy as he  walks closer to pat Jin reassuringly on the back.

                 “ Tsk. R.I.P to your lunch. How’d that happen anyway? “

"It was a fight between me and this bird," he started, "and unfortuantely, I lost." His eyes slowly trailed to the disessembled burger. Lettuce, cheese, beef, tomatoes, all sprawled on the concrete. He watched another bird, this one smaller than the last, hop onto the pavement, biting at the seasame seed bun. "That burger was ₩10,000, man. Maybe I should backtrack. It came swooping down at me, like this," he made a few hand motions, "and I didn't wanna get pooped on, so I shooed it away and as a result, a tragedy happened."

[rxdmn-blog]

Showing no change in her demeanor, sure he was a good head taller than her probably twice her weight but she felt only disdain for him. The subtle twitch of her nose was so minuscule it was unnoticed by the crowd flowing past the two, as if the two of them were a rock in an ever flowing river. The tension was heavy. Being called a bitch was nothing worth reacting to, but getting called out on being unhappy had unconsciously triggered her to let out a string of foreign words.  “ Futue te isum, es mundus excrementi . ” Her tone was hushed but it was enough to allow the other to hear the venom in her words. Tempted to whisper a series of invocations with her eyes locked on the other’s relentlessly, all she had to do was say a few simple words to watch his oh-so-precious memories whither away in flames. Her poker face remained etched onto her features, the only sign of emotion were her nails digging into her palm, she hadn’t spoken a single word since her Latin outburst, and she let the atmosphere run its course. 

[jinpatrol]

She was displeased, frustrated even, and Jin could tell by the tone of her voice. At the same, the foreign words fell like raindrops in the middle of a drought; unexpected, and pleasant. Its nice to hear a jumble of unknown words and phrases in an everyday flood of Korean. Interesting at least. He almost forgot the reason she started on a foreign rant. He glanced from her eyes to the photos, from anger to happiness. It all transferred so quickly, so smoothly. In the midst of the busy streets, footsteps, and businessmen on phones, she located his voice. Maybe she was searching for something and her internal compass led to him. He was at the wrong place, wrong time. It couldn’t be helped. “I thought the same,” he started, “I can be such an asshole sometimes. But that’s not our real selves, is it? You’re not always unhappy?” He didn’t care, nor bother to ask what she said. He derived his own meaning from them today. He was quite lighthearted.