Why am I screaming at a cooking show?
About a month ago my brother-in-law came over to watch Australia take on Ireland in the rugby.
He’s your super passionate fan who screams at the TV on every play of the ball and of course, the refs usually cop the brunt of the abuse.
I’ve always felt that I’m missing some male testosterone in the part of the brain that handles sport rage (I’m no scientist, but I’m assuming there’s a part of the brain that handles this). I’ve never really understood it, that is, until MasterChef 2018.
Ok so it's not quite the male testosterone-fuelled sport that is men’s Rugby Union, but it’s making my blood boil on the same intense level that my brother-in-law experiences during a game.
In past seasons you’ve always been able to tell that the judges have their certain favourites. The ones who get a little extra guidance but this year, ‘The Year of Surprises’, the only thing that’s surprised me (apart from my stress levels during the show) is the blatant bias shown towards a few.
The people online know what I’m talking about! It started during a service challenge between crowd favourite Sashi and judges favourite Chloe.
Chloe not only got some extra guidance from George in the kitchen but also ran late for her service. Apparently the time-constraints are more like guidelines (until Sashi was running late a few eps later) because she somehow managed to win the challenge and apparently, according to the judges, ‘Mastered the Kitchen’.
Twitter was ablaze with fury and I was certainly doing some furious hashtaging of my own. A few episodes later however she couldn’t be saved, no matter how much they loved her and some sad judges, said ‘Goodbye’ to Chloe.
Flying under the radar, but nipping close behind her heels, is Ben, the fair dinkum-Aussie bloke who can’t wait to tell the lads down the pub about everything he’s done on the show.
This is by no means an attack on poor old Ben. He seems like a genuinely lovely guy but I am at a complete loss as to what is going on with the judges who seem to just love everything (fish) he puts (fish) in front of them (fish).
This became horribly obvious when the final four had a mystery box challenge. Ben was handed ‘The Burnt Box’ which in it had some lovely pork ribs. Long story short, Ben chucked the ribs into a pressure cooker and served them up with some pineapple.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good plate of ribs and so did the judges, in fact, based on their reactions I’d suggest they’ve never had a decent rack or ribs before, but as a finals dish?
Matt proclaimed, “We’re simple blokes who just love bold flavours.”
I’m sorry, what? Ben was hailed as the king of ribs and sent straight up to the safety of the gantry. We’ve since seen a couple more episodes where Ben has been ‘guided’ (on more than one occasion he has adjusted his dishes mid-challenge after ‘suggestions’ from the judges) and each time my wife tells me to shut up, because she can’t hear the judges praise Ben over my frustrated screams.
During the semi-final the contestants were required to complete another service challenge and surprise, surprise. Everything (fish) Ben served up was nothing but phenomenal.
The judges said his take on ‘Surf on Turf’ was “inspiring”. His updated pavlova had Gary wanting to take it home for cuddles.
Crowd favourite Sashi served up a stunning chicken curry which initially had the judges singing its praises for the beautiful flavour until, the kicker.
This comment made my head explode.
“It’s just a bit too homely for me,” said Matt.
I’m sorry what the croquembouche? Too homely? What happened to “Simple blokes who just love flavour”?
Luckily my wife has moved the remote from my hands as it would have been flung cleanly through the TV, straight at that damn cravat.
But finally I get it. I feel that passion and rage that my brother-in-law experiences and I get it. I too now chuck my hissy fit at the TV and proclaim I’ll never watch again. Until of course the next night when I park my ass on the sofa with Twitter in hand ready to join the hoard with my online pitch fork.
Will I watch MasterChef 2019? Someone’s gotta keep an eye on those judges.