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action matters. method matters. wu wei
 - you are at a choice-point in every moment of each circumstance. each activity, spoken word, and thought. there is no liberation in indecision

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(jlnnshly)

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day 9 unless one discovers oneself, one remains just a means. the moment one discovers oneself, one has found the end. the circumference of your being is the means: the body, the mind, the heart. use all of them to reach the innermost core, the very center –and that is the end. In finding it, one finds everything that is needed to be found. in knowing it, all is known. in reaching it, one reaches godliness.

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yoga off the mat

if you’ve asked yourself this past week “what can I do to help?” start with you. changing society by transforming the individual. start with you.

do not accept the idea of powerlessness or self-denial. numbness should never be your only alternative. feel.

a lot of us run from/avoid important moments within ourselves because it sparks uncomfortable emotions. we have to be OK with feeling uncomfortable. don’t run from it. don’t fight it. you start fighting with yourself and instantly you are lost. and so many people, in seeking spiritual truth, fall into that error. we cannot doubt ourselves, our feelings, our experiences. the real answers can only come out of you. close your eyes and meditate on it.

living within outward. only then do we recognize our deepest feelings and become responsible to ourselves in the deepest sense.

we search and ask for answers, and if we’re lucky, we are given methods and techniques. but we have to find our own answer through our own effort. we have to find our own answer through our own suffering, and through our own penetration. within, within, within.

abhyasa: constant inner practice against habits. break your habit of searching for. we have to find fulfillment through, not from. every.day. we have to be more than a proclaimed title.

for the first half of my week I couldn’t get through a full day without the thought that I wanted to quit, feeling doubt or invisible, thinking I was going infuckingsane. having an unpopular opinion can make you feel crazy sometimes…but if truth is on your side, it’s not really an opinion. it just is what it is. find your truth. breathe. give yourself credit.

you need you.

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YWJ3 enjoy

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What is your favorite yoga position?

generally speaking, my favourite poses are floor poses. closer to my mat...closer to earth. there are nights (and mornings) where I'm excited to flow into specific positions though. my body responds differently every practice. current favourite asanas: purvottanasana, chakrasana, sansangasana.

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You are beautiful

Thank you.

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man everything is revealed on the mat. your brand sponsor will not save you on the mat.

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everything is in motion. everything flows. everything is vibrating. the choreography of thought.

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duende

a face in a trance, evoking duende. intimacy, discomfort, love, control and lack of.

Sound: Courtney Moore

Original song: untitled 05 | 09.21.2014 by Kendrick Lamar, Produced By Terrace Martin

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The learning process

We can only learn if we are exposed. The only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Creating is my way of throwing myself out into the open. Do I have a lot of questions for myself? Yes. Making objects/images/etc without any basis for their existence, fear of making and sharing without any reception, it happens, it can be heavy. However, I am aware that I cannot fully understand what I am doing at this present time because I. Am. Still. In. The. Present. And I find great comfort in that. Things make sense in time.

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I posted a photo of a painting by Jack Bush on my Instagram yesterday. The caption read: “Jack Bush painted this decades ago foreshadowing how I’d be feeling today.” I often feel this way about music. The strange yet deeply profound connection between the artist and me. A perfect phrase or arrangement of sounds that manifest thoughts and feelings. I want to share this with you.

(ywjulianna)

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One can come to meditation through many directions. Giving love is one of my directions.

The first secret is don’t ask for it. And don’t wait, give. Remember that love is inexhaustible. You can give and give and it won’t run out. We must remember that love is not a business. There should be no expectation of something to gain out of it. Not that rewards don’t come - they come thousandfold, that is the law of nature. You get what you give, sometimes even more so. We must also remember that love is not weakness. You experiment, you experience, you learn.

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Society can be so cunning. Destroying words and giving them distorted definitions. The word responsibility falls victim to such. Contrary to propagated belief, your responsibility is to fulfill the demands made upon you, by you, and you only. Responsibility is not a burden. It is not a duty. Responsibility is being in tune with the present moment and yourself. Choices and then choosing.

It is you and always you. If you are unhappy, it is you. If you are lost, it is you. If you are in a bad relationship, it is you. You are the deciding factor. You are making a choice. This is the only way to be responsible. And don’t be afraid of responsibility. The best thing to happen to me in 2015 was realizing that responsibility means freedom. I had the choice; be unhappy a thousandfold, or be clear cut and drop it.

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This chapter is all about honesty. Honesty with myself. The “chapter” concept came from a friend. I suppose a lot of people refer to stages in their life as such, but his definition stood out.

Healing. Definitions are vital starting points for the imagination. Until late I glamorized the word. I don’t know where I gathered such notions, but there isn’t much comfort in healing until it’s done. Maybe I found comfort in the end result. Much of what I learned this year is to take each moment for what it is (thank you Gwendolyn Brooks). Be in the moment. Go through it, and move forward. Even if it feels stagnant. It isn’t. Wu wei.

Tormented by thoughts, and then thoughts of thoughts, and then thoughts of thoughts, I chose self care over self pitty.  Accompanying self will was a couple of simple phrases that manifested many emotions - feelings that at one point I could not express. Zakkiyyah Najeebah’s (of Black Girl In Om) On My Mother’s Couch was right on time. My #BGIOWHY follow my journey, start yours. #BGIO

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you don’t need to meditate for 3 hours to bring you back to center. confession: I am not an immortal teacher. I have taught and have been taught that it is a prime duty of the heart to rejoice, but I too am aware of the terribleness of actual ugliness and evil.