Weary Eyes & Tired Minds

She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans

[jlxo06]

Even after almost 7 years together, I’m sure anyone who may overhear our conversations together would DEFINITELY cringe. We flirt like we just started dating, but love like we’ve known each other our whole lives.

This is the kind of love I’ve searched for my whole life ❤️

[jlxo06]

I haven’t posted on here in over a year, but this is one of those “things” I always want to never forget and can look back on in the future by just scrolling through my Tumblr.

With every guy I’ve dated, at some point in the relationship, we talked about our futures together. But, for some reason, having this talk with Adam right now, just fills me with butterflies - the feeling he gave me over 6.5 years ago when we just started dating.

We’ve agreed many years ago that we’d wait - to move in together, to buy a house, to get married, and to start a family. Not because we aren’t sure about our relationship - because we KNOW we want to continue spending the rest of our lives together - but because financial commitment like that isn’t something we both want yet. We want to travel together, continue working towards our careers, and experience our youth before settling down - and we don’t need a legal document of “marriage” to continue being emotionally and physically devoted to each other. A mortgage, a wedding, and starting a family are VERY financial constraining and we have not been ready to make those things a priority in our lives yet

But I’ve noticed recently that Adam’s been thinking about all those things a lot. And deep down, so have I.

We have grown SO much together over the last almost 7 years. And to be honest, our relationship came easy - which is mostly the reason I haven’t been on here a lot (because I used to use Tumblr to complain about my exes). But our love feels so natural and I cannot wait to see what 2020+beyond hold for us.

[jlxo06]

You can’t pour an empty glass.

Take care of yourself.

[jlxo06]

Late night anxiety attacks are the worst Especially when you have no one to help you through it.

[coral]

A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.

 Charles Bukowski, The People Look Like Flowers at Last (via coral)

[adrenaline]

It’s hard when you constantly feel so fucking unwanted.

[coral]

I’m still trying to figure out how everything went wrong so fast.

[jlxo06]

I’ve been feeling so lonely and empty lately. But I have too much pride to admit it out loud.

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #732

Curling up with your favorite pet!

[lollittaaa]

[jlxo06]

I’m so full.

It’s overwhelming to think that, for once in my life, I feel so full -

full of love full of happiness full of gratitude full of hopefulness for the future

After such a horrible journey I went through with depression in 2017, I am so happy that 2018 has been so good to me so far.

I am feeling so emotionally, physically, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually full. And it is so amazing to actually feel this way for once.  

[jlxo06]

A year of building.

I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting recently. And I think, if there is anything I want to do this year, it’s to be a better version of myself. I spent all of last year recovering mentally that this year, now that I’m finally stable again on my medications, it’s time to start building bridges, building business, and building a better version of myself. 

[jlxo06]

its 11pm and people are screaming with no fucking care while im trying to sleep so I yelled at the top of my lungs for them all to shut the fuck up. I have everyone in this house. I just want to go home. 

[jlxo06]

Even when i have so many great things happening in my life, I still feel like a miserable fuck. I wish I could explain why, but I can’t and it sucks just bottling it up inside. 

[pinkriver69-deactivated20181225]

[jlxo06]

Mental illness is still an illness.

When you break a bone, everyone tells you that you should go to the hospital and get it checked out. When you have a mental break down, everyone tells you that it will pass and you will get over it. 

Either way, you’re still broken. Why don’t we view treatment similarly?

[jlxo06]

“Walls”

I used to talk so much on here about these “walls” I build up to protect myself, but as I got older and started being selective with who I surrounded myself with, I no longer felt the need to keep my walls up. For once in my life, I am finally feeling content with being fully open with who I am. I feel so much more confident in myself, in my life choices, in the people I surround myself with, and in where my life is going.

I used to always write about the emotional pain and drama I was in; but it is so refreshing, now, to be able to celebrate something, on here, for once. 

For once, I don’t feel the need to have “walls”.