Joani's Culinary Adventures

[joanicooks]

Drunken Guacamole

Horrific! It is Friday night and you have eaten the last of your guacamole! What are you to do?

Then you remember, you have a bunch of avocados in the fridge. A lime your SO bought ‘because it was on sale’, and a red onion you got because he keeps putting it on the grocery list. Garlic, salt, pepper, tomatoes, check. Jalapeno... well, we’re missing that but no one is perfect. 

So it is Friday night and you have had a few beers or some wine but you crave that fresh, healthy fat that is avocado, mixed with other healthy things.

Fear not. It is only, three avocados, four cloves of garlic, the juice of the lime (if you haven’t cut yourself on the garlic, you’re home free at the lime), and however much red onion and as many tomatoes as you want. Cut up and put the avocados in a bowl. Stir, chop, try not to spill. Never admit to licking that which spills.

Add the garlic, salt and pepper, and stir again, still never admitting how much you lick up. Use your finger, it looks more dignified. If you have it at this point, add some jalapeno. If you don’t have jalapeno, some red chili pepper flakes. Don’t judge me. Stir again.

HERE is where you add the juice of the lime and stir, and you’re going to spill. Again, use your finger for dignity’s sake. Then the rest, the onions and tomatoes. FFS, taste test it now for salt/pepper.

Then put it in the fridge and let it sit for a day. You’ll sober up in this span of time but that’s why you bought more beer. Now is when you can pull out your drunken guacamole again for a taste-test, adapting seasnonings to suit your taste. Try adding some cumin or mint.

Guacamole is a very forgiving recipe, and it’s all according to your taste. Try it, screw up, try it again. It’s like a metaphor for life, but with avocados.

Enjoy

[joanicooks]

Fish Tacos!

(crossposted from my usual blog because I hate hunting for this. Pics might be added later. I have removed the 1/4c of mayo from the sauce)

For the fish: 2 Tbsp lemon juice (when I realized I didn’t have lime juice) 2 Tbsp olive oil 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp chili powder 1 tsp parsley (dislike cilantro) 1/2 chopped jalapeno 1 lb roughly chopped white fish - I used basa, but something firm is great (marinate the fish for 15 minutes, then bake at 350F for 10 minutes)

For the taco sauce: 1/4 c. plain yogurt 1/2 minced jalapeno (super convenient!) some lime juice (once realizing I had a lime in the fridge) 1 tsp oregano 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp dill 1/2 tsp salt (mix this all up. It should be a little runny; if not, add some water) plain whole-wheat tortillas 1 avocado, roughly chopped salsa shredded cabbage

Warm the tortillas, add salsa, then avocado, then cabbage, then taco sauce, then fish, wrap and enjoy.

[joanicooks]

I keep promising myself I'll document my jambalaya process. And so I have!

The first photo documents pretty much all my ingredients. The mirepoix, front and left, is half a medium onion, a quarter of a green onion, and a stalk of celery, chopped together. In the middle is two chopped chicken breasts and some shrimp, mixed with about two tablespoons of Cajun seasoning.

As in the second photo, I start with a roux, of oil and flour. No, I don't care if it's not traditional. My boyfriend likes it better this way. In the third photo, the roux has turned nutty brown, and it's during this time that I remember to use a wooden spoon and not a plastic one. I kept melting the ends of my plastic spoons, so wood is the way to go here. Keep the roux moving so it doesn't burn! By the time I add the mirepoix, the pot is very hot, and then I have to keep the veg moving so it doesn't stick to the bottom.

After about five minutes, I add the tin of tomato, juice and all, the garlic, the Worchestershire sauce (as much as I feel like), and the two hot sauces. I like to use (sorry, it doesn't look like Italics wants to stop) Tabasco Chipotle for the smoky flavour it gives, and Frank's Red Hot because honestly, it's my favourite hot sauce ever. Again, I started with a certain amount and now I add until it feels right, and it's never let me wrong. The bay leaves go in, all three of them, and I let that simmer for about five minutes. Then I add the three cups of chicken stock, bring it to a boil, add the cup of rice and turn it to 'low', cover and cook until the rice is done. I lift the lid to stir a few times because the rice likes to get stuck to the bottom here, and it's easier this way. The rice doesn't actually burn at this point, so there's no charred flavour. The difference between photos 6 and 7 show how much the rice expands in the 10-15 minutes of cooking! And there's still the meat to add! By the time the rice is nearly done, I add in the meats so they can cook in. It doesn't take long for shrimp to cook, but the chicken does take a bit, and I like to stir it in so the cooking is even. The sausage I add varies - I usually try for something smoked, double-smoked being preferable. Chorizo adds a nice kick, but it's not usual. Strangely enough, when I tried making this with Andouille sausage, my boyfriend did not prefer it. I usually have Ukranian kielbasa at hand. About five to 10 minutes after adding the meat, all is done. I take an extra taste for seasoning and additional spicing, but after that, it's done. I have asked my boyfriend previously, and he says my jambalaya is his favourite meal. I do love preparing it because it makes for excellent left-overs and everyone compliments me on the smell of my lunch. For me, a bit of extra effort at cooking time leads to excellent results for days... if my boyfriend doesn't get to it first!

[joanicooks]

My boyfriend is one of those types who think that whatever you buy in a grocery store is good enough. I am one of those types who A) think that homegrown tastes better and B) like to be able to know how to grow their own food in case of world food shortages, apocalypti, or general downfall of the human race (also, why I believe in the Joy of Cooking).

Last year's success with tomatoes last year was enough to convince me that I was onto a good thing, and that I was sort of good at it. The tomatoes were succulent and sweet, and nearly all summer through. Early on I had a quick worry of blossom end rot, but it was soon corrected with the addition of calcium pellets.

You can see this year's heirloom tomatoes growing from little soil pellets in photo #2, on the right. On the left, the two pellets are jalapenos and the one a little further away from all the rest will become cayenne peppers, like photo #1. It's a little hard for me to believe that I am able to grow my own foods, and without the service of a large plot of land.

That's entirely correct - I have no garden to use. If it's not grown in a bucket, any food plant must share its space with the crab apple tree corner (except for the raspberry bush because raspberries take over everything but rhubarb). I have about five pots in standard rotation - two of which are industrial 5 gallon pails with holes drilled in the bottom. Plants want to grow - you just have to give them room in which to do it.

Of course, growing in limited space means I have to be choosy about what I'm growing. The tomatoes last year were great, but the red peppers that stayed stubbornly green were not. Last year's jalapenos didn't make the cut to a pot so this year, they'll have two. The cayenne peppers will stay indoors, as will the thyme (#3), purple basil (#4), rosemary (not looking enough like rosemary, so unphotographed so far) and the mint (planted yesterday).

This is a worthwhile investment for me, in that the taste and pure joy of watching something grow as I wanted and tried to make it do are worth the money, time, and worry.

My boyfriend still rolls his eyes a little, but he plays Flames of War - at least I get to eat my results!

(pics of progress to follow)

[joanicooks]

A while ago, I had to use up some apples that were on the edge of going very very wrong. I originally thought, apple pie! But I was lazy and didn't want to make the crust.

So I made apple crumble instead. I tossed the chopped apple in maple syrup and cinnamon, and started filling the ramekins. Then, right around Ramekin #3, I remembered I have raisins to use. So I added those to the last three ramekins' worth of apples. As it turns out, I added too many raisins because then it became raisin crumble with some apples.

The topping is the usual oats with cinnamon, nutmeg, brown sugar, butter, and walnuts, with three decorative raisins to delineate between apple crumble and raisin crumble with some apples.

As any responsible cook, I had to try one of each, and they were quite tasty (if a bit raisin-ey on that second one). Still, it got rid of the apples, and they tasted quite fine.

Too bad we don't really eat dessert around here...

[joanicooks]

I decided I wanted some tom yum, or spicy Thai shrimp soup, for tonight's dinner. Except, I wanted more than just a soup, in the same way I wanted more than shrimp.

The top photo is the ingredients for the broth: 6 cups of chicken stock, three stalks of lemon grass (chopped), sliced ginger, two bird-eye chilies (my favourite chili), and some kaffir lime leaves.

The second photo is the chilies, defrosting between two heated pots because, as I re-tutored myself last week, it's never safe to defrost chilies in the microwave, unless you enjoy feeling like you're breathing pepper spray.

I boiled the broth (photo #3), then added some straw mushrooms (they're fun to chew and pop in your mouth but the liquid is not entirely pleasant, so cut them in half), shrimp, and wontons that a saleslady pressed eagerly into my hands at the local T&T supermarket. It's hard to put food down when you're already holding it, so well-played, grocery store lady, well-played.

I let that boil for a while longer and then ladled it over cooked rice noodles. Photo 4 is the end-result, and it smelled too good to rearrange it much more than the artistically-placed lime-leaf. It was also delicious. In other news, I've been following a youtube channel that's lots of fun - four or five buds in England, making food. They're funny, sort of adorable, and they call themselves Sorted Food. Ben, Jamie, Mike, Barry, and occasional guests are lots of fun - like Hannah Hart of My Drunk Kitchen or Taro a.k.a. RunnyRunny999. I can't wait until Cooking With Dog and Nerdy Nummies finally connect because it will be the culmination of all my favourite cooking shows in one transcendent, glorious whirlpool of decadence!

Or something.

[joanicooks]

I had to do something fast with the lemon Greek yogurt my boyfriend had left, so I decided to take the lemon cheesecake cupcakes in the book above, 150 Best Cupcake Recipes, and substitute the lemon Greek yogurt for the sour cream. For the topping, I just spooned some left-over yogurt on top and candied some lemon peel to top it all off.

Then I took them in to work, and have been asked for the recipe several times.

This also works with lime Greek yogurt.