Miss Feasance

recently medicated, frequently devastated, completely overated *now featuring a trendy haircut*

[maksimnovodvorskiy]

Museum of Decorative art of Ukraine. Wonderful place to be! #carpets #decorative #decorativeart #ukrainianart #Ukraine

[maksimnovodvorskiy]

Сьогодні, для Павла. #tattoos #tattooart #blxckink #blackworkerssubmission #blackworkers #blacktattoo #btattooing #blackndark #art #ukrainianart #ornamental #ornamentalart #ornament #flower #flowertattoo #ukrainianflower #modern #modernism #inked #folkart #folktattoo #bng #bngtattoo #blackandgrey #decorative

[joannaeggs]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[joannaeggs]

Present for a Friend, recently completed and delivered.

The joy of a photo within a photo.

I'm rusty AF, but maybe I could do things.

[joannaeggs]

Fast ink while watching the cellblock tango.

[joannaeggs]

Gave myself a lot lately.

Mostly permission.

Permission to be more genuinely present.

Permission to take better care of myself.

Permission to be creative.

I've been stowing away a lot of myself for years, things I decided might not be as shiny in the light of day. If it didn't mesh with the way I wanted to be seen, it just wasn't allowed to be a part of me anymore.

Fuck that noise.

When I was a kid I drew a lot. I loved art, I wanted to be an artist and go to art school...yada yada yada. I let alot of pressure bend me into the shape I am now. A Frustrated Paperclip. Useful. But not really happy, cause like that's life right? No one's happy.

Don't believe that.

Don't sit in the pot as it heats up, believing that where you are is as happy as you get. Jump out little frogs!

So doing what makes you happy isn't easy. It's hard. It's risky. You'll be mocked a bit. Shunned occasionally. Sounds scary.

Scarier? Living without purpose.

You can get paid for your art.

Find your angle, fight for it. Fight for your right to be creative! Don't take it laying down, be goofy and GO FOR IT!

I'm gonna go for it. And maybe I just find out that this is something I can cross off my list of "Wouldn't it be lovely?" Jobs.

So start self advocating. Say what you want so often you get tired of the "I statements".

There is a lot to do still but the best vacation of you life started with walking out the front door. You must take the step.

I gave myself a happy little tree to bolster my spirits and practice depth. I'm looking forward to the future and meeting myself fully.

[joannaeggs]

HANG ON IS YOUR URL A REFERENCE TO THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER????????

Absolutely 😁

[joannaeggs]

I mustn't waste all day in the bathtub

I mustn't waste all day in the bathtub

I mustn't waste all day in the bathtub

I mustn't waste all day in the bathtub

But I needed a bath

So 8.30 turned into 12.30

I have got to switch to showers, or resign myself to live as a prune woman with a devastating water bill.

[shelandsorcery]

By Crom! is my joke-a-panel autobiographical comic featuring life advice and spiritual guidance from Conan the Barbarian. It ran from January 2012 to May 2014, and is collected in two books, The Collected By Crom! and Full Colour Cromulence. You can read the archives on WealdComics.com, and grab the books in print and in PDF.

By Crom! will be tabling with Weald Comics at TCAF, VanCAF, TAAFI and possibly FanExpo Toronto!

[nineprotons]

This is weirdly inspiring.

[dinheac]

this is such a good comic

[bunnymagia]

ahahahaha I love this :’)

[lizstaley]

I need to read all of this.

[joannaeggs]

I'm really into suddenly, might need a spiritual Conan in my life.

[madness-and-gods]

NO 😂

[kittercasey]

I’m George RR Martin 

[mairzymarzipan]

growing up in maine us writers were of course always comparing ourselves to stephen king.  TURNS OUT HE’S FUCKING WRITER GEORG

[danieandflars]

“average writer writes 3 books a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person writes 1 book per year. Steven King, who lives in cave & writes over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[coelasquid]

My favourite quote from Steven King was something like “I am a salami writer. I try to make good salami, but salami is salami.”

[jamisings]

I haven’t seen Something Rotten! but I have seen and heard enough clips that George’s bit in here makes me think of that scene where Shakespeare is singing about writing a word. 

[simonalkenmayer]

Yes but let’s not forget that both their books are rubbish.

Come on then. Fight me.

[unionizecatgirls]

Why you out here tryna start shit?

[simonalkenmayer]

Im sorry. I’ve read both authors and can’t enjoy either.

King writes nothing but stories about possessed table lamps and Martin’s characters are so psychologically two dimensional that their behaviors can only be predicted by randomized dice rolls. No one makes good decisions even if they’ve demonstrated intelligence. King likes fate and luck and feud ex machina.

I’m sure they’re lovely people and they’re both good at putting words together, but I cannot enjoy they’re plot constructions.

[nevver]

The Dutch Masters, Tussen Kunst & Quarantaine

[awheckery]

I’m just gonna… leave this here, as a nod to the times and my lost hipster youth.

(cw for six regrettable seconds of blackface in an otherwise entertaining and semi-educational music video, the concerning section is 1:58 to 2:04)

[stimman4000]

.

[ororomunroedontpullout]

What is that soft thing doing the imprinting

[harpyhormones]

its called a pad printer! theyre very commonly used for applying patterns to non flat and irregularly shaped objects

[gemstone-enemas]

mwomp

[myrebloggingblog]

Dark crafting tiddy, give me the squoosh

[joannaeggs]

Ahhh the squoosh ♥️

[joannaeggs]

I can't defend this, but it was fun.

[joannaeggs]

Had the most bizarre dream

In the desert, the hood is up on an old 2000’s grand Cherokee. There is a disturbance in the sand dunes off from the distance. A mound of sand is shifting towards us. There is no us- only I am visible, but I don’t feel alone this morning. The mound approaches. As it nears the front bumper, it slows and begins shifting upwards. Rising toward the sky, clearing the upper deck of a miniaturized Japanese temple and courtyard of its protective covering. The sand below continues to pulse, something living teems just below the surface. I know what I need. My shadow falls a crossed the deck… a tiny arrow bids me to “lift this corner” and so I do. There is another layer below, just the same- a skin from an onion. Soon I am casting layer after layer away, peeling back the floor like linoleum tiles. They cascade over the dunes away from my panic and sweaty palms. They are no sooner lifted as cast away; the shifting sounds disturb me but not my work. The courtyard is deeper than I would have guessed, still lifting and peeling. Getting closer now, the layers have thickened. Down to the last, crudely painted with red paint-

LIFT ME.

And so, I do.

There he is. The Rat King. Fat and grey, he is guarding a treasure I am sure of it. The tile he sits upon also has red writing; his body blocks most of it as he is huge and surprisingly very flat for a massive rat. He is like a meatloaf, thick and spreading. Hiding things. I pry my fingers beneath his highness and cast him too over my shoulder. An indignant shriek that mostly translates as “SQUEEEAK” rewards my efforts. I lift the final tile, a lid. There it is.

A lump of the worlds best queso in a cheese cloth sack.

I scoop this precious cargo up and shuffle back to the jeep. There is a box withing the engine compartment prepare for the sacred queso and I place it within before slamming the hood and skittering back into the driver’s seat. The Rat King is recovered now and barreling towards us, the queso and I. We must go.  I start the jeep up and speed away into the morning heading into an indescribably cheesy future.

We will be happy. 

[joannaeggs]

One of these young men is my grandfather, John. The other is his brother, Howard. Circa 1955

[the-attic-to-the-left]

Rewatched the Rescuers Down Under for the first time since childhood. Joanna the Goanna was and still is undoubtedly the best character. 

[joannaeggs]

I have decided this will be my alias going forward. Hi, my name is Joanna Eggs. Charmed.

[untoastedtoast]

Joanna the Goanna

[wayhella]

Most underrated Disney Princess

[joannaeggs]

Abso-freaking-lutely