Confessions of a Nerdling

Join me on my adventures through life, a nerdling, thrown into the mix of a cruel and not nerd friendly world!

[johnaquin-blog]

Yummy dinner tonight. 2.50 for my meal :)

[johnaquin-blog]

Sadly it's karaoke night (at Applebee's)

[chrisdaps]

BEST. WEDDING. PHOTO. IDEA. EVER.

[madeofair]

oh.

my.

god.

[johnaquin-blog]

Whoever doesn't get eaten is the next group to get married! And we thought throwing a bouquet was fun...

[actualadvicemallard]

[bashfultenrec]

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

[sarahdesdemona]

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.

You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

[steaku]

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

[musta--krakish-deactivated20170]

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

[grassburrqueen]

thanks tumblr

[basilcraft-deactivated20210223]

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

[sirisles-deactivated20150725]

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

[tephnos]

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

[superwholockedhobbitt]

I am seriously concerned for all of you

[bumblewyn]

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

[delusional-deductions]

hah I’m reblogging this for the reaction notes.

[johnaquin-blog]

Anyone else think back to the movie "how to be a serial killer"? Also another great place with ideas... I mean knowledge.

[johnaquin-blog]

Wow you suck...

Guildie: wow your dps sucks, you know how easy Mage is? Go die...

Me: but... I don't even like Mage...

Guildie: whatever let me show you how it's done.

30 minutes later...

Guildie: what the fuck!?!?

Me: I win, you go die now asshole!!

I can learn from my mistakes quickly :) went from averaging 20k to 55k in no time :)

[johnaquin-blog]

I wanna...

...I wanna know your name... you just killed me, could you at least do that? I wanna know your name, or better yet stand there and just do that...

[johnaquin-blog]

Battle tag and Real ID... Alliance!

So, i'm practically done moving, so I can get back on wow more :D I play alliance, anyone maybe want to cross realm at times? BT: Johnaquinnn#1776 Realid: [email protected] Say your from tumblr! I love talking to people, pvp, pve, anything :D

[great-value-tm-deactivated20150]

I want a fic where wrathion just sits on anduin’s head the whole time, making comments about everything

[johnaquin-blog]

No, we do not need another navi. This is not "legends of anduin". No.

[nijisundae-deactivated20230618]

[johnaquin-blog]

Tattoos!!

Yeah, I can’t wait. So. I’m getting my first tattoo down my right forearm, an anchor as remembrance for my father/grandfather. And down my left arm, (symmetry must have!! Dam. Libra tendencies for balance.) I’m getting my nerdy tattoo delight. I’m getting the four elements wrapping up my left forearm. Starting with a feather, into fire then water and yeah. Possibly going to get the magic draw stations from ff8 in the middle.

[mapurrr]

Meeperme’s 50 Follower Giveaway! Yay!

I hit 50 6,000 followers and I have all this shit so hey! Let’s do a giveaway!

Rules~!

You must be following me to be eligible to win. I will be checking!

Likes and reblogs both count!

You may reblog as much as you want, just don’t spam your followers!

No side/giveaway blogs please!

I will pick a few winners. Winning does not guarantee EVERYTHING in this picture. It will be split up.

You must be okay with giving me your address!

Items include!~

All the Anime DVDs pictured!

Manga pictured, and much more.

Pictured Pokemon Movies/DVDs

Bamboo Create drawing tablet!

My old Bamboo Pen tablet.

Karkat and Terezi Horns with troll facepaint.

About 500 erasers (pictured)

Death Note wallscrolls

Various figurines (pictured)

Hello Kitty bag

Tokidoki and Hello Kitty iPhone 4 cases

Aperture Science scarf

Plush Tarepanda! :3

Lion hat and fox hat.

Gold Skullcandy Lowrider headphones

You may message me any questions you have! :D

Ends May 25th!

[mapurrr]

Meeperme’s 50 Follower Giveaway! Yay!

I hit 50 followers a while ago and I have all this shit so hey! Let’s do a giveaway!

Rules~!

You must be following me to be eligible to win.

Likes and reblogs both count!

You may reblog as much as you want, just don’t spam your followers!

No side/giveaway blogs please!

I will pick a few winners. Winning does not guarantee EVERYTHING in this picture. It will be split up.

You must be okay with giving me your address!

Items include!~

All the Anime DVDs pictured!

Manga pictured, and much more.

Pictured Pokemon Movies/DVDs

Bamboo Create drawing tablet!

My old Bamboo Pen tablet.

Karkat and Terezi Horns with troll facepaint.

About 500 erasers (pictured)

Death Note wallscrolls

Various figurines (pictured)

Hello Kitty bag

Tokidoki and Hello Kitty iPhone 4 cases

Aperture Science scarf

Plush Tarepanda! :3

Lion hat and fox hat.

Gold Skullcandy Lowrider headphones

You may message me any questions you have! :D

Ends May 25th!

[mapurrr]

Bumping this! Thanks to everyone who has entered so far!

I was unable to upload more than 10 photos in the op, but I have a few more things I am willing to giveaway. Photo below!

[mapurrr]

This ends this weekend!~

[stoneroses]

[the-horned-prophet-deactivated2]

What?

[johnaquin-blog]

Bogus. We all know potatoes are aphrodisiacs! That man... He's hiding something.

[johnaquin-blog]

I don't look hideous here! Woo! Achievement earned: I feel pretty, oh so...

[johnaquin-blog]

Xrealm Open World Pvp...

All of you bitches... if I wanted to sit here and get ganked constantly... I would have gone to a High Pop server on vanilla with teh enemy faction rediciulously stacked against me, worn a gnome around my neck like pork chop, running in circles screaming, "Noob here noob here! Kill the noob!" Repeadetly till you fulfilled my wish over and over. Ambition to level for the night... gone.

[gofuckingnuts]

[johnaquin-blog]

Good morning my love, we meet again~!

[johnaquin-blog]

omg!

I have a phone :D Finallyyyyy