John Pavlish

my life story

[johnpavlish]

2022-12-28

This has been a dedicated of discipline and dedication to continue to use cloth diapers for now 10 months.

[johnpavlish]

2022-12-28

Another project was replacing our dishwasher which was starting to leak and the circuit board was not operating and needed to be reseted every so often.

It took me nearly all afternoon to replace the machine as the new one was different than the old unit.

I was scared to turn the machine on for the first time but when I saw the dishes were clean and no leaking I relaxed knowing the machine works as intended. 

[johnpavlish]

2021-10-25

Some of the last projects before being a dad were finishing the accent wall in the baby room and insulating the garage walls.

[johnpavlish]

2022-12-28

I’m sorry for not posting anything over a year.

Having a new child in February has really taken much more time than I could even imagine. It was also my desire to tidy up house projects before taking the role as a stay at home parent.

I hope to still contribute to this blog. 

[johnpavlish]

2021-07-23

Patience over a few weeks fixing our dryer. Originally the problem was a a horrible noise hitting the drum.

I was able to fix the noise by replacing two rollers and the belt pulley.

Then the machine shut off from over heat during the 100 heat wave. This time I had to replace all the fuses and sensors then finally the heat element. After replacing it I wa able to have the machine so a complete dry being able to use the motor and heating.

When I replaced with new parts I found the machine wouldn’t work properly as the timer would not operate at all and the machine wouldn’t heat.

Eventually replacing all the parts and switching with some old parts I was able to have the machine operate completely.

[johnpavlish]

2021-04-18 Perspective of Vision

I have been trying to understand the scope of my vision field cut. While looking at the text a few yards ahead of me, I notice that I squint one eye closed in order to be able to read the text. This is in situations like reading a menu at a restaurant behind the cassier.

Interestingly enough, I have no issue with reading text at a closer distance, or reading a book or computer screen.

Today I noticed that I can read text with both eyes open off to the left, which is part of my normal vision beyond the damage field cut.

It makes me try to understand the area of the damage tissue. While all my tests show through seeing through a flat area, I believe it may be depth which may be related to the space within the brain tissue itself.

I remember reading about the optic chiama which is a X tissue that sends the information of the eyes sent to the other side of the occipital brain.

It made me wonder based on the distance, that part of the vision information was damaged along the part of depth beyond a few feet. I may be off as eyes focus on depth on their own independently of the brain. But it may be how part of the occipital lobe dissects portions of the field by regions.

If this is so, you can identify the region that interprets each field of vision. I can understand which regions were damaged from the hemorrhage.

Another factor which may be age as my eyes lose their sharpness. But my hunch is it is related to how portions of the brain read only selections of the vision from the eyes. This is in how I can see flashes of light in the damaged area during my field cut tests.

[johnpavlish]

2021-01-10

Age

I’ve noticed that when I stair at a menu at a take at a fast food store, I have a hard time reading the text. I have a habit of closing one of my eyes to be able to see the text.

When I open both of eyes at the text I see a dislexia with the text in conflict form each eye. This issue is just at that distend but not on a reading distance.

When it comes to larger objects like people or shapes I have no issues focusing on it:

I’m not sure if the dislexia is related to my field cut where I have part of the cut conflicting from each eye. Or if it the eyes themself are not able to focus together.

[johnpavlish]

2020-12-01

Neuropsych Test Results

I had received the results for my neuropsychological test. I finally had the time to read through the report to the best of my ability.

Dr. Dasher at the UWMC, who had written the report a thorough report. In synopsis, he recommended me for an employment environment where I need a place that does not have distractions, low stress, and allows me to work at my own pace.

The results seem similar to what I had to do for my re-enrollment at MIT, where I needed extra time for my tests, and accommodation for my aphasia with text to speech.

Interestingly enough, Dr. Dasher shared that my language results had improved from the 2008 neuropsychological results. Yet this was still my largest weakness. 

My highest performing results were on visual spatial analysis. One test was called a matrix reasoning where you are given a set of designs that have a slight difference between each other and you are to recognize a pattern or unbalance in the order. I scored at 99% at this result.

I had also done well with visual puzzles where you are given a set of blocks that have different colors and shapes, and where you are required to put the blocks into a pattern on an image.

Both of these results I had scored above 90% which implies that I am in a higher percentile of the average base, which is around 40-60%. The results phrased the term as 

In reference, my spelling and reading were on the 10-20%.

A third result was related to memory. This was not quite understood from the tests. There are many reasons for memory. My weakness was attention. Which was quite interesting since I had notes that I was extremely dedicated and focused for the testing.

Discussing with my therapist, who had conducted such neuropsychological tests, that results could be with several related disorders such as ADHD, or could be related aphasia. In regards to the latter, it may be processing speed where I am stuck finding words and my loose focus on what I am trying to find.

With these findings, I will be meeting with my Vocational Therapist to see what type of work that could be suitable for me.

[johnpavlish]

2020-11-14 Self Awareness

Being in the process of my mouth exercises,  in conjunction with attempting to speak with Jessica in Vietnamese, I have been more aware of how much tongue operates.

With my current therapy, I am in the process of building strength in the further back section of my tongue 

With my current therapy, I am in the process of building strength in the further back section of my tongue. I found that in Vietnamese, there is a special function of using that area of your tongue that most English words do not use.

The only comparison in English is using the final syllable in the word “sing.” I found similar sounds by pronouncing the letter K, or making a crow sound, which both have been part of my exercise. But these sounds are more harsh, while the syllable in Vietnamese is more soft. And this motion of the tongue creates that effect. 

In Vietnamese, this sound is used in the beginning of words such as a common last name Nguen, or first name Nghi.  

Jessica had told me to stop attempting the sound as I sound horrible. More embarrassing is that my younger niece in-law has better diction than I do. When I ask Jessica, she is at a loss of words how to have me recreate that sound. 

By incorporating my tongue exercises, I am able to be more equipped to attempt the “ng” sound.  Now when I attempt to recreate that sound in Vietnamese, Jessica tells me my pitch changes more feminon. 

So I still have more work to be done.

[johnpavlish]

The 2020 Virtual BIAWA Art Show

Here is a shrot video of all of the art at the Bellevue Art Museum. This year you need to scheudle an appointment to see the art show in person. With this video you are able to see the contribution. I contribed a new piece myself. You are able to see my piece in about frame 13 seconds in the video.

The art will be displayed for the end of the year. So please take a moment to check it out if you are in the area.

[johnpavlish]

After months of trying to buy in a sellers market we were able to buy a house that we felt comfortable living in.

It’s funny how advertising work on social media like this picture. I asked Jessica if we can do this pose when we have the keys.

[johnpavlish]

2020-09-25

Delivering my art work to Seattle today via the bus. Due to COVID it will be an interesting display of the art as it would be virtual.

Instill enjoy the bus ride to Seattle from Tacoma. It is quite relaxing by just watching the scenery ona rainy day.

[johnpavlish]

2020-07-30

With the adjustment of my mouth my nose has been blowing so much snot out. It has been to a point I run out of hankies.

It is mostly in the morning and where I could go through four in the morning.

Surprsinly this past two weeks it has been better. I hope it gets better.

Needing to have to blow your nose in public does make you get a questionable look from strangers thinking I may have Covid-19.

[johnpavlish]

2020-07-13

I met with my carioglist today over Zoom. It has been amazing to be able to so amazing to be able to go to my docters appointsments online. Without having to drive across or use public tranasportation, it has made it so much easier to keep up to date with your health.

My cariogoist discussed the results that I had with my MRI in January of this year, and he felt that nothing was to be concerning. The amount of leaking had increased from my prior amount in 2017, which was 39mL, which is a norminal level. This year it was 43mL, which is a change about 1mL year. Their concern is if the change were to be 5mL/year or a leak about 55mL.

Dr. Steinberg still believes that I only need to reschedule for my next MRI in 2 years. He will have another docter to look over the results of my MRI. He said that the differences of the mL are on the level of the pixels of the recording, thus it is hard to determine even if the leak has changed.

Another finding was that my heart orgianly had enlarged, which was a concern for another facter. However on this MRI result, the heart actually retracted. Dr. Steinberg shared that this was a common effect of athlets who exercie where their heart expands then retracts when they stop exercising.

The good news is that there is no need to be make any surgery as my aeortic value is still more stable than a artificial or pig valve.

[johnpavlish]

2020-05-21

Jessica and I had watched a documentary about religion and the history of human understandings of the after life.

One of the portion was talking about a man who had nearly drowned under the water for about 15 minutes not breathing.

This process reminded me how I was unconscious from my injury. I do not know of the time I had from the hemorrhage to the point of consciousness again.

Jessica told me to write down the thoughts again that came from my memory. While I believe I have them in this blog, but also prior personal writings, I decided to put a list, in no priority or chronologically.

1) I felt and heard of a sound which I called the sound of God or the universe. It was a slow deep low pitch that was quite comforting in the separations of tones by each deep breath. It felt you wanting to following by each deep slow breath. To this day, I still listen to electronica trying to find the same experience again. Listing to this sound gave perspective on how you can see the expanse of time seeing the origin and how it will be. You are able to experience a similar situation if you watch a time laps of a plant growing within a few minutes or change of the stars in the sky.

2) Someone was holding my shoulder with their hand.

3) I had a similar beyond body experience. I felt a point where you can view the earth and the universe at it entirety. Including my body.

4) I was told to go back to my life. I was reluctant as it was how horrible my body was with the injury. But I felt that the human body itself was primitive. The feeling was like being forced to put on the worst clothes you had seen being tattered, stained, discolored, and which does’nt even fit you well.

5) I wanted to be in this unconscous state, but I was told my death would cause a larger state of pain for others. It felt like a duty to live to bear the pain to prevent my suffering to infect others.

When Jessic asked, I had a hard time recalling my experience. But after a few hours, it started flowing again. After over 13 years, I still had that experience. It is similar to those milestone experiences that people have in their live where the experience is still very fresh in the mind.

[johnpavlish]

2020-05-20

After the process of 6 months I had completed the process of expanding the space of my mouth in th upper area.

I have then just seen my dentist for the next step. I had an Invisoline prepared to keep my teeth in place for the next phase of my mouth.

At our appointment I have to choose the next step for adjusting the teeth in the bottom and top to sync together.

The first step is to apply some type of surgery on my bone in conconjution with Invisoline which takes about another 6 months. I will be able to take the appliances as before to keep my mouth clean. The downside is that I will have to pay for the surgery which would be around an additional $6000. I am still to wear the Invisoline all day, but I have the choice to take it out to clean my mouth and to eat.

The second option is to use a FAGGA appliance that is per mantle attach in my mouth which is similar to my last DNA appliance which has adjustments. The cost is cheeper asI have paid for this portion. The downside is I cannot take the appliance out and it takes 12-18 months.

My next step is to get the quote for the surgery and see what the insurance can cover.

It does feel wonderful to not have to wear the DNA appliance all day anymore.

[johnpavlish]

I had shared my results with my dentist about the space I’d my appliance starting to space out. When I got her response she told me that I don’t need to do any more turns to widen anymore and that I only need to wear it during the name.

Her response was like a gift from heaven. Wearing the appliance was torture.

But what was fascinated that not wearing it during the day felt odd several times during the day. I felt like I needed to put it on. The feeling is like you forget to wear your underwear and need to go plafe something on.

I have been wearing this since September 5th in 2019, this is about 7 months.