S M I L E !

isola affiliated 'the joker'. read before you follow.

[life-or-something-like-lt]

- Knock, knock.

[jokersmild]

♣♦♠♥.

She had been bitter about Valentines Day at first, and she supposed she still kind of was if the pangs of anger in the pit of her stomach had anything to say about it. His suggestion was met with a deadpan stare on her part before she turned her attention back to the trashy reality show she was currently watching. She’d had a busy Valentines Day by herself anyway… Batman didn’t count when he was ruining her fun. She didn’t need the Joker showing up out of the blue again with apologies she wasn’t sure he meant. Right?

She sighed; she couldn’t deny she was interested. She really wanted to know who her bag carrier was. She looked back at him again, a quick glance spared to his hand before narrowing her eyes a little as she moved to sweeten the deal just a little. 

As she accepted his hand, before she allowed him to lead her anywhere, she said, “Shopping and dinner and ya got yerself a date…” Should he agree, she’d be happy to accompany him.

  Once she accepted his hand, his smile grew from confident inquiring to genuinely pleased. Harley was tough to figure out lately, and his shifting head spaces certainly didn’t help matters. But that didn’t matter, she’d already said yes to his relief - he’d already paid the bag boy. 

  “Anywhere you wanna go, cupcake.” He leaned in to press a brief kiss to her cheek (anything further and he risked losing a tooth), then turned his head to the next room to shout. “Hey, Happy! Get in here! This is Happy.” He clarified for Harley, motioning with his empty hand to the short, stout middle aged man dressed in the most showy clown attire possible. His face was all made up with whites and blues and reds, and though a smile was painted on, his frown was staggering. “He reminded me of Archie, and said he didn’t have anything to do today. If you don’t like him, we can kill him and I’ll find you a better clown to carry your things. Anything you want - today’s all about you.”

[jokersmild]

♣♦♠♥.

     It’s been far too peaceful. Even Superman of all people can admit that. Not that he minds standing unopposed – but when Metropolis & Gotham’s finest defenders show up, he knows that their villains are bound to follow at some point. And when he hears of a bank robbery gone horribly wrong, well… 

     “I wouldn’t worry too much about that, Joker. I don’t want to be on your Christmas list anyway.” He knows this is a bad idea. Tangling with the Joker back home wasn’t the wisest of decisions, but here? With so little of his strength left? It’s practically a death wish, but Superman first sees three dead victims and a duo of hostages still fighting for their lives – and then he just sees red. 

     First he takes flight. A quick dash to close the gap between him and the Joker, not nearly as fast as he should be, and a solid punch to the jaw. Once, it would’ve been akin to getting hit by a speeding train. Now, it doesn’t even send Joker collapsing to the floor and leaves Superman shaking out the residual pain in his knuckles and wrist.

     “You know, maybe I should call Batman. He’d agree with me that you aren’t very funny. And he’d give you the beatdown you’re asking for.”

     “Jon?” And he’d thought he was seeing red before. His next punch goes for the Joker’s stomach, harder than his right hook to the jaw, but still nowhere near the strength one would come to expect from Superman. “How do you know Jon?”

     Another punch, harder still.

     “You leave him alone, do you hear me? If you so much as lay a finger on him, you’ll be begging me to call Batman, since you won’t be getting any more mercy from me!”

  “Is all this because I didn’t get you anything for Christmas? Aw, poor Supes... I didn’t even know you were here, otherwise I would’ve gotten you something really special. How about a grand? I could just toss you a bag. No?” Maybe Jon’s head in a box. The thought alone sends the Joker into a fit of giggles and snickers. He’s interrupted by the punch to the face and is genuinely surprised that it doesn’t knock him on his ass. Instead, he lifts a hand to rub at his jaw and glares daggers at the caped boy scout for a brief second - a look that’s almost instantly replaced by a wide smile.

  “Poor ol’ Boy Scout can’t even throw a punch... you’ll have to try a lot harder if you want to save these people, you know. Especially your boy. He’s wrapped around my finger at this point, he even got my autogr— Oof!” But he’s cut off by another punch. Then another. Still he stays on his feet and begins laughing openly, manically. It must be a late Christmas present after all, Superman isn’t so super after all. The Joker reaches into his pocket and produces his gun, smile a mile wide and a twinkle in his eyes. “Why don’t you make me, tough guy? You know I’m not gonna stop until I’m dead... why not do what Batsy can’t? If you don’t kill me, the next place I’m going is to see my favorite little nephew and show you and the big man in black how it’s done.” Not that death really matters in a place like this. Not to the Joker. No, he can kill all he wants. Over, and over, and over, and they’ll just keep coming back like some sort of Whack-A-Mole game. But to people like Superman and Batman, people against killing, it must be their worst nightmare. “I’ll just come back, you know. Death isn’t permanent in this place, so it doesn’t count against your code, right? Come on... I want you to!” He holds his gun out, barrel aimed at one of the hostages who shudders and shrinks, crying out in pure terror. “Do it. Kill me or I’ll kill these two and then your kid. I’ll make what I did to Gordon’s girl look like a gift.”

[jokersmild]

♣♦♠♥.

@jokersmild // x

Ardyn had a propensity for losing his mind, just a touch, every now and again. It probably had to do with all the daemons rattling around in his brain, a scourge that could never be healed.

Ah, well. All the memories collide around in his head like a pinball machine, and sometimes it feels nice to simply check out. Anger and resentment had built inside him over time, but now it was more or less time to let go: the Lucian line had ended, and Ardyn was in this place.

Wherever that was.

Right now the afterlife appears to Ardyn as a museum, somewhere in what he distantly recalls as being the upper levels of the Fibonnacci Ward. He watches the people walk and talk with each other, and he distantly feels an ache in his own chest. It’s so distant, though, it feels like it could hardly be there.

Finally, he sees an interesting face. Ardyn walks over to the man and tips his hat in greeting. “You look like a kindred spirit,” he says in greeting. “Enjoying the sights?”

  It’s been some time since the Joker last visited anywhere particularly classy. Skulking around dark alleyways can be fun, but there’s nothing quite like taking in the arts in the company of fellow artistically inclined individuals. Besides, any one of these pieces would pay for all sorts of fun toys.

  His plans are interrupted just as he’s debating whether to use the cards or some laughing gas by a rather cheery stranger. Eyebrows raise high on his forehead (higher even than the makeup has them set) as heterochromatic eyes scan the stranger thoroughly. There’s an extended moment of caution and contemplation bordering on anger - eyes narrow and a frown threatens the clown - but soon he’s all smiles. There’s real potential here, he can smell it. “I was, but now I’m enjoying one sight in particular.” His painted red smile is uneven in a smirk, but there’s unabashed joy in his expression, confidence aside. “Been a while since I’ve met any kindred spirits around here... say, how do you feel about bombs? Fire? Death, destruction, and chaos on a massive scale?” A few nearby admirers turn their noses up in distaste and leave, but the Joker pays them no mind. “I was just thinking that it would be nice to make a new friend.”

[jokersmild]

@harliquinn​ deserves a great day !!

  “Hey, punkin’, hear me out.” He sidles over to her on the couch, leaning on the back with his elbow just beside her cute head. The Joker’s smile is as bright and friendly as ever when he’s in a good mood, which can only mean that he’s up to something.

  “I missed Valentine’s Day, and I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know if you’re in the mood to call it a date exactly, but I do have some fun plans. See, I... happened across some money, and I was just thinking that you deserve a night out on the town.” He leans forward further, dangling his arms over the back of the couch, one hand raised toward her, palm up in offering. “Whaddya say, Harls? How about I take my favorite lady ever on a shopping spree? I even found a guy to carry your bags.”

[jokersmild]

♣♦♠♥.

After the Joker’s little holiday celebration he had seemed to disappear. Two months of inactivity and Bruce had wondered with a sinking depression that this clown had made it back to a Gotham without the Bat. Part of him was glad to see that painted grin yammering as he hung, glad that the Joker was still here to keep an eye on rather than running lose in a Gotham without the Bat. 

The trap from which the Joker now hung hadn’t been his own, one of the Robin’s perhaps. He’d have to talk to them about it. He hangs back a good distance away, favoring the dark as he circles a Joker practically gifted up with a bow. This was suspicious. A purposeful trap trigger to trap him as well? He couldn’t see anyone else in the area, couldn’t tell if there were any trap doors, walls or triggers surrounding the area where the Joker hung. It was impossible to tell who was really at the disadvantage here. Cautiously, the Bat steps forward. “You’re the one that’s been hiding under a rock, Joker.” 

Eyes narrow behind the lens as he studies the noose around long legs, the poor ware of a rope- it really was a poorly made trap. “What the hell have you been up to…?” A real answer was unlikely, it was simply a question to keep him distracted. He very well could leave the Joker hanging, getting any closer- especially within arms reach, didn’t seem a good idea. The best idea he could come up with that wasn’t to leave him hanging and that wouldn’t neglect the danger that the Joker could process, was to cut him down from the distance he was at. Giving him up to local police was a joke, and quite possibly even more dangerous. 

  When Batman makes no motion to swing at him or otherwise cause injury, The Joker leans up for a moment to test the ropes. No - he can’t untie them. Using his cards would work, but the last thing he wants is to pull out a weapon and risk ruining the mood. He all but throws himself back down, dangling once again so he can look Batman in the eyes. He missed this. All these months of waiting... finally he’s here. The Joker’s smile is bright, and there’s love and adoration and anticipation in his eyes clear as the moon in the sky. “Well, I would’ve hid under you instead, but I didn’t know where you were. Maybe I was just trying to be on my best behavior. Maybe I’m trying to change for us, did you consider that you cruel, heartless bully? I give and I give, and all I get in return is,” and he continues in a low, rough voice imitating the Bat himself, “What the hell have you been up to?” 

  He sighs in exasperation, continuing the melodrama as only a master actor such as himself can. “Maybe it was a cry for help, Batsy. Maybe all I needed was a little attention. A helping hand. A Valentine’s Day smooch.” All at once, his anger and frustration fades, and his eyes go wide. "Wait... I missed your birthday, didn’t I. That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Listen, I’ll make it up to you sweetie. What do you want? A cake? I can sing for you, if you’d like. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you--”

[jokersmild]

@gothamsoracle​​ stepped haha, well... onto the stage !!

  It’s a lovely evening, he thinks to himself as he wanders the streets in search of his next target. A mugging, perhaps. He should genuinely start searching for some lackeys to fill the ranks - pawns, really - but he’d rather leave that to Harley. The last bank he’d tried to rob had been interrupted by Trashman, and he couldn’t even scope out a pawn shop without his future husband ruining the fun. What’s a clown to do for fun in a city where crime is always cut short?

  His skipping and humming through the streets is also cut short when he catches sight of a red haired woman in a wheelchair. Now sure, there are probably thousands of red haired women in wheelchairs, but Harley did mention Gordon’s daughter was here. His smile widens tenfold as he approaches and takes out his deck of cards. From behind, he peers around her side just long enough to catch sight of her face and confirm his suspicions. “Well, look who the bored, invisible overlords dragged in! If it isn’t my third favorite victim!” He pauses just long enough to take a step away - better safe than maimed - and giggle excitedly. “What’s your name again? You’re... what’s his face’s kid, right? Greene? Golden?” He lifts his empty hand, tapping at his chin in contemplation, then shortly after reaches into his pocket to replace the cards in his hand with his phone. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got a picture in here, that oughtta jog the ol’ memory. Gosh... Betty? Bridget? Belinda? Don’t tell me, don’t tell me.”

[jokersmild]

@devespertilio​, it just hasn’t been the same without you !!

He dangles, giggling intermittently as the blood begins rushing to his head. His hair is a mess, more than usual, and the adrenaline of the trap is fading, though the high of being near him is more than enough to keep the Joker on edge.

  “You know I ran into this on purpose, right?” He’s all smiles as he hangs upside down, legs bound by some manner of fancy cord or rope, arms loosely swinging below his head. “Not your best work, Bats. Veeeery sloppy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you set this one up while you were tired - or it was one of the little ones. Maybe a cop you’re training? Another Robin... it’s about time for us to have another kid, isn’t it?” There’s a pause in his teasing for another giggle, and he reaches up just enough to scratch his face. A motion to test him - how on edge is he tonight? “Say, I’ve been looking all over for you, Batsy. Have you been avoiding me? You’re the worst boyfriend ever for missing Valentine’s Day. You owe me, and the only thing that’s gonna fix this broken heart is a smooch. C’mon, I’ll even take a quick one. Don’t leave me hanging !!”

[jokersmild]

@kryptonizes​ stepped onto the stage !!

  Well... Beans.

  He sighs theatrically, running a hand through his hair before lifting them above his head. A show, of course. Anyone who knows the Joker knows that he doesn’t need his hands for things to go his way - and Superman certainly knows the Joker. “Aw, shucks, Supes. Had I known you were gonna be here, I would’ve brought you a present.” And here is in a bank, halfway to robbed with three dead tellers and a pair of hostages - by the smell of which aren’t in such a great place, emotionally. Really all he has left to do is grab the money and go, and naturally Superman of all people had to show up. “Gotta say... and no offense here, I would kill for you to call up Bats. I mean, if a big, strong man is gonna manhandle me, I’d rather it be him.” Promptly, his hands lower in favor of clapping as he remembers something important. “Say, how’s Jonny boy? Does he still have that bunny I gave him? Tell him Uncle Joker said hello, would you? Kid loves me.”

[jokersmild]

  Howdy hi, howdy low! I’m finally back and I really want to get things rolling again. If you’d like a starter, please give this a like! For now, I’ll be placing the cap at 3 because I don’t want to overload myself, but fellow antagonists/villains/criminals are absolutely welcome to ignore the cap.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req’d by @strange-goblin-girl

you certainly are

[jokersmild]

  All around the city, carols were being sung, presents were being exchanged, and cookies suitable for all sorts of diets were being hungrily scarfed down. Someone was eating a fruitcake, too, the freak. In various malls and outside more than one shop, Santa was peddling for cash, or inviting kids to sit on his lap, giving away presents and laughing ceaselessly dressed in red.

  The Joker and Harley were doing some of the same - at least the eating cookies, laughing ceaselessly, and wearing red. 

  Perhaps you heard it on the news, read it on a news update on your phone, or maybe you even saw it in person. A pale, portly man dressed like Santa was strung up outside a Christmas-themed seasonal store. Hung above the door by his hands like some sort of glorified ornament, with a wide smile carved from ear to ear and eyes open wide in what was likely intended to be glee, though was obviously fear. His face was painted white, fake beard pulled down below his chin to properly display the clowny makeover he’d received. Painted on the wall behind him in red (blood, or paint, the detail hasn’t yet been released, though it’s safe to assume blood from the sheer amount splattered across the scene), are a few words spaced and angled to resemble a smiley face just above the body.

                       HA HA HA! HAPPY HOLIDAYS,                          AND A CLOWNY NEW YEAR !

For clarification, Harley and Joker just murdered Christmas. Sorry kids, but it’s cancelled for the rest of the day. The body was found in the morning, just after sunrise, but the official news and statements weren’t released until the afternoon.

NPCS across the city are investigating the crime, but the Clown Royalty made sure not to leave any evidence behind. So they can enjoy the holidays together without being separated by good ol’ iron bars.

If your muse is familiar with the level of brutality these two are capable of, and either has a death wish or is willing and able to throw hands, feel free to approach either myself and/or @harliquinn about confrontation threads !

That said, if your muse isn’t aware of just how Nasty these clowns can be, please don’t use OOC knowledge to connect the dots! As far as I’m aware, our Harley has been pretty well behaved over her stay, and the Joker hasn’t done anything severe enough to be on the news, or been ratted out by anyone.

[jokersmild]

  If you want The Joker to give your muse a holiday present, give this a like !  They’ll all be fun, safe, and enjoyable for all ages, 100% guaranteed (they won’t).

[endiness]

Joker (2019) dir. Todd Phillips

[jokersmild]

miidnightmayhem !!

               💀 He sure does give him creepy clown vibes. Snorting at the explanation, he wonders how long that’s going to take. In the meantime, he needs a better ride. He can’t do anything relying on taxis and subway systems, that’s not going to fly if he looks for work. It doesn’t take long for the clown to help him realize why he appears to be such a strange clown–he must be the kind that likes to use real guns and bombs as opposed to party favors. The offer has him laughing now, half in disbelief. But he’s also not at all surprised, he’s seen too much shit in Miami to be taken back by a murderous clown.

               “Sure, it’s all yours. Go scare the piss out of some kids. Or out of some adults? Haha! Sounds like you know how to party, I dig it. I haven’t worked with a partner before, but I’ll probably be lookin’ for work.” That money he took from his mass killings is just about to run out, if it even works in this place. He didn’t listen closely to everything the taxi driver had to say.

  Once he gets some laughs out of the helmeted stranger, the Joker’s smile fades to something more sincere and arguably less manic. It’s been ages since he last met anyone fun like this, and he certainly hadn’t expected it on his first day back in the city.

  “Oh, I’m gonna put this to good use, don’t you worry about that.” He reaches into the pocket of his suit jacket, producing a seemingly harmless deck of cards. After rifling through for a few moments, he looks back up to the stranger. “I don’t have quite the same... occupational standing here that I had back home, but I’ve got some big plans for this place. Plans that have plenty of room for ill-natured folks who like a little whimsy, chaos, and anarchy in their days. I won’t be able to hire you, since I can’t exactly pay in the usual way, but I’ll tell ya what. You seem like you’ve got chutzpah.” After finally landing on the 8 of spades, the Joker extends the weighted, razor sharp card with a mischievous glint in purple and green eyes. “Here. It’s not much, but with a little creativity, it’ll take you far. And before I go getting emotional, I guess I should introduce myself. I’ve got a lot of names, but the one worth remembering is The Joker, and I’ve gotta say, it’s a real pleasure to meet you, pal.”

[jokersmild]

        @twilightgifted​, can you hear those slay bells jingling ?

  “Aren’t you just the cutest thing !” He coos affectionately, resisting the temptation to pinch the little girl’s cheeks. “Say, I could use a helper like you. I’m looking for a good present for my girl, and you look like you have pretty similar tastes. Whaddya say ?  If you help me out, I’ll get you some uh... coffee or whatever it is the kids these days like.”

[jokersmild]

        @sinfoniette, can you hear those slay bells jingling ?

  “You must be thinking to yourself, ‘Joker, what are you doing ?  Snowballs are for babies !’ but rest assured, my dear...” He stands with a devilish grin, snowball in gloved hand, the other raising an index finger to red lips. “This isn’t just a snowball. What do you think - who out here in this lovely crowd deserves such a fun surprise ?”