Summer had gone back and forth on this decision about a thousand times in the last couple of days. She’d cried a lot, weighed the pros and cons, cried some more, and still she always came to the same conclusion; She had to let him go. It wasn’t fair to him to keep him in this state of hoping he’d be able to have both of the girls he wanted. One of them had to walk away, and Summer already felt like she was on the outside as it was.
When she arrived at Ben’s that evening, her heart was heavy. He let her in and she held her breath until they were both sitting on the couch. Only then did she start to speak, and once she started the words came pouring out. “So… a while back, you said it was going to be both of us or neither of us. And I’ve tried… but there’s not much I can do beyond just tolerate her presence and that’s no way to form a relationship with someone I’m supposed to factor into the rest of my life. It’s not fair to me, or her, or you. So… I guess what I’m saying is… it can’t be both of us.” Her breath hitched and she wiped at the tears that were threatening to spill over.
“And I know I can’t stop you if you decide you want to keep being with Quinn… something tells me she’s who you wanted more anyway. You formed a claimable connection with her that much faster, so… I want you to be happy, Sir. Even if it’s not with me, though part of me really, really wishes that it could be with me. It just can’t be with her also.” The tears were flowing more freely now, Summer was giving up on trying to keep them at bay.
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I really wish things were different but I just… I can’t live with someone who makes me feel the way she does. She’s the embodiment of every bully I’ve ever had, but for whatever reason she makes you happy… But I need to be clear that you being with her, means I’m walking away.”
Ben knew something was coming, he could feel it the last time he was with Summer. It was to the point he couldn’t even concentrate. His parents had called him several times in the last few days, but he just couldn’t engage. Not with his failed trial claim and his failure to help Summer and Quinn make progress. It felt as though everything was spinning out of control, but he was still looking forward to seeing Summer. That’s how much he loved her.
He took her hand in his, eyes steady on her face. It was an odd way to start the conversation, but that didn’t stop the devastation from taking over. Still, he focused in, trying his best to take in all of her words because at the very least he deserved that. His only saving grace as Summer explained was that he already filed this as the worst possible scenario. He just didn’t think it would come so soon, if at all.
There was a big part of him that wanted to throw a fit, to fight and argue but he always swore to make things as easy as possible for his girls - well, the people he cared about, and he was going to hold true to that. Perhaps that was coping out to most people, but it physically hurt him to keep it together for her. That didn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry I did things the way I did. I should have been more open with you from the beginning and I’m going to regret that for the rest of my life.” He took in a deep breath and cupped her face with both hands. “I love you so much, Summer. But I love Quinn and I can’t make myself walk away from either of you. I can’t walk away from Quinn. As much as I need, love, and want you. But if this is what you need to do for yourself, I can’t stand in your way.” His dissolve broke more and more with every word and by the time he reached the end of his words, he was gasping for air. “I’m so fucking sorry, bombshell. I love you. I wish I did things differently.”