βΆ SUMMARY : september rains witness a divorce and the devastating fall out. Yoongi moves on with someone else, and yn is stuck in waves with no end in sight. November rains cause an unfortunate accident that brings them back together.
βΆ GENRE : heavy angst, drama, romance, unplanned pregnancy, second chances
βΆ RATING : 18+
βΆ PAIRING/S : yoongi x reader, jungkook x reader
βΆ WARNINGS : major heavy angst, implied/referenced cheating, references to depression, miscarriage, depictions of anxiety attacks, depiction of accidents (mentions of blood)
βΆ 0: main characters
βΆ 0: side characters
βΆ 0.5: prologue
βΆ 1: except, i was all alone
βΆ 2: phone in my hand and heart in my throat
βΆ 3: a tiny heartbeat in the midst of heartbreak
βΆ 4: i dont want you to hurt me anymore
βΆ 4.5: the news
βΆ 5: echoes of laughter
βΆ 6: fade into a distant memory
βΆ NOTE: hello from 2026.... whos still here and active? if any of the original readers of i feel you are still here.. well! this is getting a re-write! with some changes, but the plot will remain the same. since I last update, i completed community college, university and got 2 associates and a bachelors degree and got a full time job! it's been so so so busy but I've been wanting to remake this series for a while because it's my beloved lol. olivia rodrigo's new album inspired me to just go and bring this back from the dead!
βΆ SUMMARY: you wake up!
βΆ TW: none, i think? let me know though!
βΆ NOTE: please add yourself to my taglist doc below <3 thank you for all the love on this so far!
Pleasant dreams flowed into a pleasant morning as Yoongi woke up much earlier than he was used to and felt better than he had in ages. He spent some time by himself before his phone was bombarded with calls and texts from the group chat with the boys asking how he was doing, how you were, and their plans to visit you. He quickly replied to let them know of his plans for the day: getting flowers and staying with you.
He glanced out the window and saw the sun making its way up against a blanket of blue sky and scattered white clouds. The weather was beautiful. You would love it. He took that as a sign that today would be a good day. Of course, he wasnβt expecting any changes to your condition, considering he hadnβt gotten any phone calls from the hospital yet, but itβs been nearly 5 days since your accident, and the doctors had told him youβd wake up within the week. These past couple of days have been filled with a rollercoaster of emotions and turmoil. He thought it might make him feel more at ease to sit next to you, even if you werenβt awake.
On his way to the hospital, he stopped by the flower shop you often went to. The one next to the park with the yellow bench and planters full of colorful flowers that you liked so much. The woman at the front recognizes you immediately.
βMr. Min Yoongi? How can we help you today?β She asks, immediately standing up straight at your presence.
βIβm just here to get some flowers.β He replies nonchalantly.
She runs around the counter to stand in front of him.
βIs there anything specific youβre looking for?β
βNo, not reallyβwait a second, those flowers there. Iβd like a bouquet of those.β He says, pointing to the bunches of white and baby blue flowers behind her.
She turns to see what he was pointing to. βAh, the hydrangeas and bluebells. Give me a few minutes, and Iβll put it together for you.β
He saw her go around the many shelves of flowers to what he assumed was the shop's back inventory and didnβt see her come out until about 10 minutes later. In her hands was a beautiful bouquet of white hydrangeas and bluebells with white babyβs-breath flowers. His eyes softened. The sight was familiar to him. It was just like the flowers that surrounded you when he first saw you at the studio shoot.
βThat would be 30,000 won.β She handed the bouquet to him and smiled.
He handed her 40,000 won, murmured his thanks, and left. Once out of the shop, he was hit by the bright sunlight and couldnβt help but look over to the park. Kids were running around while their parents watched them on picnic blankets. He imagined the two of you sitting down on the yellow bench, watching your child run around the park as they owned it. Warm and sunny days like this reminded him of you.
He spends only a few moments admiring the scenery of people enjoying the weather before he makes his way back to his car and to the hospital. When he arrives at your room, nothing has changed except that your skin has regained a bit of its color and your bruises have begun to yellow.Β
Yoongi sets the flowers down on the side table, and he moves the chair from against the wall to the side of your bed so he can sit right next to you. His heart almost stops when he sees your face. It looks like the nurses changed the bandage on your head, as it was noticeably lighter, but he could still see a bit of blood seeping through. The bruises on your arms and everywhere alarm him, but he knows that youβre okay and youβre healing. That is enough for him. Itβs enough to know that you were alive and that you were going to be fine.
His eyes trail down to your flat stomach, and he lets it linger for a long time. Eventually, he takes your hand in his, slowly and tenderly interlacing your fingers together. He takes a long, deep breath. Two months ago, he would have never imagined that this is where he would be right now. Two months ago, both of you had walked away from your marriage, and Yoongi honestly thought that you two might never have crossed paths again, despite his thoughts drifting to you more often than they should have for someone who was your ex-husband. Now, two months later, you were divorced and pregnant with his child.Β
His eyes continue to stare at your stomach, still flat and showing no signs of carrying a life, and he resists the urge to caress it. You werenβt conscious, and even if you were, would you allow your ex-husbandβwho you most likely hatedβ to feel up your stomach like that? No, probably not.
And thatβs when he felt a twitch in his hand. He was sure he was imagining it, but he looked down to see your fingers moving, just barely. His first reaction was shock, then anxiety. He didnβt know what to do, and the shock of your movement paralyzed him. It was only when he felt another movementβa squeeze, and stronger this timeβthat he felt the need to press the call button to alarm the nurses and doctors. He would have run out to get your clinical staff, but he couldnβt bear to let your hand go. You were moving, which meant you might be waking up.
The moments pass quickly and slowly at the same time. Yoongi felt as if his body was buzzing with anxious energy, but everything else around him seemed slow. The doctors barely made in time to see your eyes slowly flutter open. You groan with a broken voice and try to lift up your hand, but a heavy weight keeps it to your side. Yoongi looked at your face, baby hairs sticking to your forehead, and looked down at your still interlaced fingers. You blinked your eyes multiple times. The light was too bright to take in all at once. Yoongi squeezed your hand at the relief he felt in seeing you wake up.
βY/n, how are you feeling, baby?β He couldnβt help the pet name that came out of his mouth. You looked so vulnerable and fragile that it came out on instinct. He moved closer and softly brushed your baby hairs back.
Yoongi waited for a reply, but heard none. Before he could speak up again, the doctor came up next to him.
βMrs. Kim? Can you see us? Hear us?β he asked.
You nodded slowly, wincing at the pain in and on your head. The light was so bright it was hard to fully open your eyes. You opted to just squint slowly.
βWhere mβI?β You attempt to speak out, but it comes out broken and croaky.
Yoongi is glad to hear your voice, to hear you talk for the first time in so long.
βYouβre in the hospital right now, you were in a car accident, but youβre okay now, baby. How are you feeling?β He asked, interrupting what the doctor was going to say.
You craned your head towards his voice, blinking furiously with your eyebrows furrowed. Confusion marred your features. Yoongi was afraid you would finally realize he was here with you and kick him out at any chance. He was scared that you were going to kick him out of your life before he could ever see the baby that you had made together, but this fear of his could never have prepared him for the next words to come out of your mouth.
βΆ SUMMARY: yoongi reminisces about when you first met
βΆ TW: none, i think?
βΆ NOTE: please add yourself to my taglist doc below <3 also some previous of future stories there as well! i'm having so much fun challenging myself to re-write this! i added more background and depth to the beginning of yoongi and y/n's relationship because i felt like it was lacking in the original. also, i've been finding myself re-writing this while sitting on the toilet LMAO tmi but the bathroom is really the place to think lol.
The night of your accident, Yoongi slept in your hospital room. The emotional weight of everything that happened had kept him nailed to the chair beside your bed. The smell of the air after the rain permeated into the room and reminded him of the day his lawyer delivered the divorce papers to you, who was alone at home and probably waiting for him.Β
Looking back at it, maybe it was an impulse decision that he made due to the pent-up frustration and exhaustion that your marriage caused him. He grew weary, and waking up in the morning felt like a chore. You were distant; he was hesitant; and both of you were living your lives moving in different directions. But you loved each other, and for a while, he thought that could be enough. That it would be enough. Evidently, it wasnβt.
He doesnβt regret the divorce, because in the end, he thought he was doing what was best for both of you. He knew how tired you were and how you felt being around some of the people in his life. In some ways, he felt the same way about the people in yours. You were so exhausted and so sad, and always so disappointed that he couldnβt keep his promises. And he was tired of disappointing you. Tired of taking up space as your lover and protector when all he would do was hurt you, even if he didnβt mean to. Divorce was the best solution for both of you to become happy again. He wasnβt getting any younger, but you were still very young, and you could still find someone who could love and cherish you better than he could. Someone who wouldnβt hurt or disappoint you.
He didnβt regret it.
He didnβt.
Or at least thatβs what he keeps telling himself. He didnβt regret it. He couldnβt regret it. It was already done. But remembering how you looked when he came home that night breaks his heart to pieces. Your pale and shivering figure crying by the front door, and the way your trembling hands shook him off when he tried to help you up. It was a sight that would remain ingrained in his mind and his heart forever.Β
When you two finally made it into your house to sit on the couch, he fully expected you to shout and scream and give him hell about the divorce papers. He did not expect the quiet sobs that wracked your figure, or the broken βwhy are you doing this?β and finally the resignation in your voice when you told him youβd sign it. Part of him wished you didnβt. That if you didnβt sign, then you can start again, and everything would be all okay, and that all of the hurt and disappointment would be forgotten. He remembered, at that moment, that he began crying, too. He walked over, sat next to you, and took you in his arms like you were his most precious treasure. With his head buried in your damp hair and neck, he whispered a million apologies.
Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for disappointing you. Sorry for breaking your heart. Sorry for wasting your time. Sorry for not knowing how to love you properly. Sorry for not trying hard enough.
These apologies meant nothing to you. They were nothing compared to the pain you had endured to be with him, to love him. He didnβt know that. For the last months of your relationship, he didnβt even know who you were, and thatβs what pushed him to get the divorce. You were a shell of the woman you were when you two first met. Your smile didnβt make butterflies appear in his stomach anymore, and your laugh didnβt make his heart flutter like it used to. It wasnβt the same anymore. You were both different people, changed people.
In the midst of this change, he was introduced to Yura by Jungkook, a model he had worked with a couple of times. He thought she was nice. Beautiful, even. Almost as beautiful as you, he had thought when he first met her. Jungkook pushed and pushed for him to hang out with them and the rest of the guys. And he knew Jungkook didnβt have any ill intent by it, but the more he saw Yura, the more he talked to her, the more he began to see her. She reminded him of you when he first met you.
You were 19. He was 23. You were modeling at the same set he was supposed to shoot at an hour later. He came early to help the staff prepare the set for the music video shoot and hopefully talk to the director, but he ended up watching your shoot for most of the time he was there, up until it was his turn to shoot. This was his first missed connection with you, and the first of many. It wasnβt until 3 long, agonizing years later that fate had brought you two back together in the form of a 2 am meet-cute at a 24-hour food stall.
It was a freezing night in December, and heβd just wrapped up a long day of work and practice. He stopped by the food tent close to the studio to order some soup, and when he was paying, someone had brushed up against his arm while walking up to the counter to pick up their tray of food. When he looked over, it was you, still looking as beautiful as you did the first time he saw you on set, and every time in between when heβd been able to get a glance at you. Heβd never had the guts to actually try to contact you. Your Instagram DMs were off, and no one he knew even seemed to know who you were, or wanted to give him your number. He thought this must have been a sign.Β
He called out your name as you walked past him, and you turned to look at him. You were wearing a big knitted scarf that covered almost half of your face, and your hair moved slightly from the wind blowing inside the tent. Your nose and cheeks were slightly flushed.
You called out his name, too. Well, his stage name, which he laughed at, and you offered your apologies for. Heβd asked if you were alone and if he could sit with you, and you laughed nervously and nodded, leading him back to the tiny plastic table you were sitting at. You two spent hours in that food stall talking, laughing, sharing stories, and getting to know each other.
That night was the start of a year-long journey for both of you. You were friends first before anything, and you had only started dating a year after that fateful night. But Yoongi knew he would love you that first time he saw you. By the end of that night at the food stall, he already knew he was in love with you.
The people around you liked to say that Yoongi fell in love with you at first sight. He often refuted the notion that it was love at first sight, saying he wasnβt the type of person to fall in love with anyone because of how they looked. In private, he told you that he fell in love with you at first smile, first laugh. The sight of you smiling and laughing in between takes at that shoot. Your flushed cheeks and cute little nose, which grew even redder when you smiled and laughed under the warm light in that food tent.Β
The laughs and smiles were Yoongiβs favorite. You were the most beautiful person heβd ever met. You are still the most beautiful person heβd ever known, but perhaps it was the exhaustion of life that wore you both down. What had started as a beautiful, youthful romance filled with nights under the stars and warm moments under the sun had ended with divorce papers on a rainy day in September.
These are the thoughts that followed Yoongi to sleep that night.
Nov 15 2026
The same thoughts haunted him day in and day out ever since he left that next morning at the insistence of Jungkook and Jimin. He spent 4 days on his own, working and living his life, but only on the surface. Conversations with people, including his friends, remained minimal. The boys continuously reach out, and heβs grateful for that, but some things he feels like he needs to come to terms with on his own. When heβs ready, heβll open up to the boys.Β
He couldnβt stop thinking about your broken and bruised body lying in the hospital bed, and he was anxious for the news of you waking up, but none had come. He received no calls from the hospital since he left, and both Jungkook and Jimin had told him that visiting was meaningless unless the doctor gave him new information.
Yura told him, verbatim, βI understand that youβre worried about her safety, but the doctors said she would be fine. Sheβs your ex-wife, I get it, but sheβs not your responsibility anymore.β
In a way, she was right. But he couldnβt help but feel sick at the thought of leaving you all alone there, and he didnβt like the way Yura had spoken about you. He had to be there for you. There was no one else who would be. He knew it was hard for Jeongyeon to come out because sheβs always too busy with work and her schedule. He knows JYP works the girls like dogs, and when she wasnβt working, she lived a little too far from you to ever accompany you in the way that you needed with your current condition. Your parents, who were never really parents to you, were not around. Namjoon, Jimin, and Jin could help out, but he didnβt know what your relationship with them was like following the fallout of your marriage, and if he was being honest, he didnβt trust them with your care. In any case, you had no one here. At least not anyone who could be there for you constantly. Yoongi was all you had, and that was evident in your unchanged emergency contact list.
After Yura had said that, he felt uneasy being around her, so he told her that he truthfully couldnβt stand to just move on with his life while you were practically lifeless in the hospital, and if that was a problem with her, then maybe they should just take a break from each other. He kept telling himself that he really liked Yura, and he wanted what she could give him, but he couldnβt ignore the six years that you two spent building a life together, even if it all ended up in flames. Especially not now that you were pregnant, a fact that he had kept hidden from Yura.
When he thought about the pregnancy, everything else seemed to melt away. Despite the circumstances, the news of your pregnancy made him happy. Extremely so, though he was a bit scared. He wondered how long youβd known, and if you were happy or scared. Or if you even knew at all. As far as he could tell, you werenβt showing. There was no sign of a bump on your little belly, but the doctorβs words were irrefutable. There was a baby growing in there. A baby that was half you and half him, and the thought of that made him smile like he hadnβt in a long, long time.
That night, he dreamt of a little girl with your eyes and your smile and a nose that resembled his. Her cheeks were flushed, like yours had been that fateful winter night. A laughter that reminded him of yours echoed in those dreams.
βΆ SUMMARY: ur local kpop gossip twt posts about the accident
βΆ NOTE: add yourself to my taglist doc below! i have a general direction of this story, but come chat with me about what you think or hope will happen <3
hi!! i wasn't gonna do a taglist for my fic, but changed my mind lol.
If you'd like to add yourself to my taglist, please click here to navigate to my google doc where you can just add yourself to I feel you in my heart, along with another re-write and a newwwww fun and smutty smau (if you want to hehe)
Please make sure you add a '@' before your username! I will just pasting these into my updates.
βΆ SUMMARY: reaction to life-changing news, and a flashback.
βΆ TW: swearing, depiction of emotional breakdown
βΆ NOTE: just a reminder i'm also on ao3 (joons1uckystar) posting this fic! come chat with me here or on ao3!
βSheβs pregnant. Almost 2 months along, and somehow the baby survived the impact of the crash.β
At the doctorβs surprising news, both Yoongi and Jungkook froze. Yoongi did not know what to say, so he turned to the spot next to him, only to realize that Jungkook was equally as shocked and confused as he was.
Jungkook looked at Yoongi questioningly. How were you pregnant when he knew that your relationship was on the rocks before your divorce even happened? He thought of the worst-case scenario and blurted it out without thinking.
βShe cheated on you?β He asked.
Yoongi and the doctor both turned to him in shock at his question.
Yoongi furiously shook his head. βNo, she couldnβt have.β The silence after that was deafening.
βHow far along did you say she was?β He turned to the doctor.
The man scanned through his clipboard again to make sure he had the right timeline.
βWe estimate that sheβs about two months along.β
2 months. Thatβs around the time they were completing the divorce procedures. Yoongi tries to reconcile the memories of those times, tries to think back on when and how you could have ended up pregnant. You started becoming distant sometime in August, when he was getting closer and closer to Yura. Your intimacy lessened as time passed, but he knew you couldnβtβwouldnβtβhave cheated on him. You were just not that type of person. What happened in the beginning of September?
After a minute or two of scrambling his brain, Yoongiβs eyes widened after he finally recalled the memory that was most likely the conception date for the pregnancy,Β
He remembers a warm night in the beginning of September, when he came home late, and you were waiting on the couch with a finished wine glass on the table.
By the time he had gotten home, it was obvious that you were drunk, and you had a lot of words to say when you were drunk. He couldnβt really tell what you were saying because you started crying and slurring as soon as the words came out of your mouth, but he knew you were upset at him. So upset that you had broken down on the floor, sobbing. Heβd knelt down on the floor and cupped your cheeks, lifted your face up to meet his. He remembers your eyes. They were so teary and red and sad.
flashback
βWhatβs wrong, baby? Why are you crying?β He asked, wiping the tears falling down her cheeks.
Those words had only made you cry harder.
βBecause you donβt love me anymore.β You cried out, nearly hyperventilating.
The look on Yoongiβs face was a mixture of shock, hurt, and resignation. You were the one who was hurt, so why was he showing you a face like that?
βNo, no, no baby. Why would you ever think that? I love you. I love you so much.β Yoongi had said to you as he desperately tried to wipe the tears that continued to flow from your eyes.
You palmed at your chest, wanting to claw your heart out.Β
βItβs true, though, isnβt it? You donβt love me anymore. You say you do, but you really donβt. You donβt act as if you love me, you donβt show me that you love me. Youβre with that girl from your company. You take her to all of your parties, you take her to dinners with the boys. Iβm not even a part of your life anymore. You donβt have me in your heart anymore. The boys donβt even talk to me anymore, and I know that some of them hate me. Especially Jungkook. I donβt even know why. Your parents probably donβt like me, and your managers probably donβt like me. Why do you guys hate me so much? Why does God hate me? Why would he do this to me? Am I not enough? Am I not worthy of receiving any sort of fucking love in this life?β
Β At this point, you were rambling, still slurring your words. Your lungs burned from crying and talking so much and so fast, but you couldnβt really tell because the alcohol made you focus on your tears and dizziness and the man in front of you instead.
Yoongiβs eyes softened, then his brows furrowed. There he goes again, looking confused. What was there to be confused about? He hurt you, but he looked like he was the one hurting in this situation.
βWhy do you look like that?β you asked. βWhy do you look like youβre the one who got your heart ripped out and stomped on when Iβm the one waiting at home for someone whoβs never coming back. Or if he does, heβs late, and heβs not mentally there. You donβt even have the decency to tell me where you are, or who youβre with or what time youβre coming home. Why do you get to fucking look like youβre hurt when Iβm the one who has to watch you and all of your fucking friends and family and fans swoon over that woman? Iβm your wife! That should be me! But all I can do is sit at home and wait for you to fucking care about me. This is not how I want to live, Yoongi. I donβt deserve to be hurt like this. Not after what happened to me. Please, Iβm so tired. It hurts so fucking much, Yoongi. Why do you keep doing this to me?β
You couldnβt get the words out fast enough. You were sitting on the floor, hunched over your knees, repeatedly hitting your fist to your chest as if it would ease the pain inside. The crying continued until you practically couldnβt breathe anymore.
Yoongi slowly pulled your form to his, and held you like it was his dying wish. You werenβt sure you'd heard it properly, but you thought you'd heard him crying. It didnβt feel real until you felt dampness trickle down your neck. He knew what you were saying was valid. Extremely. And he couldnβt really refute it because it was true, but that didnβt mean that he didnβt love you.
He stroked your hair until you calmed down a little, and thatβs when he finally got a word in.
βBaby, Iβm so sorry. Iβm so fucking sorry that I did this to you. I love you so much that it breaks my heart to think about not having you in my life. Youβre my everything. You own my heart, and Iβm sorry I ever made you feel like you didnβt, but please donβt ever doubt my love for you. Yura, sheβs nothing. Sheβs just my friend. Sheβs Jungkookβs friend. The last time you went to an event with me, you had a panic attack, and I didnβt want you to go through that again. Sheβs just a friend who goes to events because sheβs also under our label. Thatβs all she is. I love you, not her.β
You and Yoongi both know that he wasnβt being entirely truthful, but you let it be because he was saying things you wanted to hear. Things that youβve been waiting so long to hear. He was reassuring you of his love for you, and even if it wasnβt true, it still gave you some temporary relief.
He continued to nuzzle his face on the crook of your neck, muttering a million βsorrysβ before you moved to put your hand on his back.
βYou hurt me. I donβt want you to hurt me anymore, Yoongi. I love you so much that it makes me hate myself. You make me hate myself. You make me want to hurt myself.β
βI know, baby, and I wonβt do it again. I love you so much. Iβll try harder, okay? Iβll go home earlier, and I wonβt go to the parties anymore. I donβt want to give up on our marriage. I want to be with you. I donβt want you to hurt yourself, and I donβt want to hurt you. I love you. I love you. I love youβ
end flashback
That night of tears and venting and apologies and shame had ended with both of you tangled up in bed, loving and hurting each other. It was pure, raw intimacy that hurt Yoongi to think about, but the number of times you had made love that night, with the moonlight shining through the sheet curtains of your bedroom, there was no doubt that the baby you were carrying was his. He never used protection with you, and that was only because he knew you were on birth control, but he had never thought about you getting pregnant, especially not after the fact that it was only a week and a half later when his lawyers brought the divorce papers to you.
Being reminded of that night made Yoongi feel ill. In his heart, he knew he had told you the truth when he said he loved you and that he wanted to save your marriage, but he was tired. And you were growing distant by the day. He could never take you anywhere, and you always got mad when he went with someone else or when he was with Jungkook. Yura was there, and she was so nice and bubbly and happy, and being with her made him happy. With Yura, it was never anything romantic until after the divorce went through. Yoongi tried. You tried, but the arguments increased, and his frustrations bubbled until they boiled over and he finally decided to tell her lawyer to draw up the divorce papers.
Yoongi snapped back to the present and looked up at the doctor.
βTwo months sounds correct. How is she doing? How is the baby doing?β He asks, almost in a daze.
βThe fetus is doing pretty well considering the accident. Weβre surprised she didnβt suffer a miscarriage because of the impact of the crash, but I guess this can be considered a miracle. To reiterate, Mrs. Kim is okay, just suffering from a head wound, multiple lacerations, and bruises. For the next couple of days, bruises might become more prominent. Weβll be doing scans to check on brain activity, especially because we donβt know how severe her head injury is. We donβt know how long sheβll stay unconscious for, but weβre hopeful that sheβll wake up within a couple of days.β The doctor stated.
Yoongi nodded absentmindedly. He was quiet for some time until Jungkook spoke up.
βAre we allowed to see her?β He asked.
The doctor nodded. βYes, you can see her. I think theyβll have wheeled her into her room by now. You can just go through that door. Itβs a hallway that winds so youβll end up on the other side. Sheβll be in room 3. We only allow one visitor to stay overnight.β
βOk, thank you so much, sir.β Jungkook bowed..
βThank you, doctor,β Yoongi said with a small but dull smile on his face. He truly was thankful. He didnβt know if he would have ever known that he would be a father if it werenβt for this accident and the doctor. As sick as it sounds, he was somehow grateful to be your emergency contact.
βItβs no problem at all. Since you are her emergency contact, we will be updating you on her progress, and if anything should happen, but right now, things are looking up. Donβt worry too much. Sheβs alive, and so is your baby. Itβs a miracle.β The doctor smiled at Yoongi before waving goodbye.
Yoongi and Jungkook sat back down in their chairs, trying to absorb the information they had just received.
The accident. You. Near-death and pregnant. It all seemed like some sort of crazy movie plot.
βSo, she didnβt cheat on you? Thatβs your child that sheβs carrying?β Jungkookβs voice rang in Yoongiβs ears.
The accusations are ridiculous, he knows that. Thatβs his child that was in your belly. There was no doubt about it, and yet, for some reason, it made him feel strange.
Yoongi nodded to answer his question.
βI thought you said you guys werenβt close leading up to the divorce?β Jungkook questioned.
Yoongi shook his head. βNot for a while, but something happened. I donβt really want to talk about it in detail, but it was emotional, and it got the better of both of us. It was the week before the divorce papers.β
βOh, when you stopped coming to the parties after work, huh?β
βYeah.β
Silence followed and stayed until both of them heard heavy footsteps coming up to them. They look up to see Jimin fast-walking with Jeongyeon, who was discreetly in sweatpants, a sweater and a cap, trailing behind him.
βThe receptionist told me that they were letting visitors in for Y/n, now. Did the doctors tell you anything?β He asked.
Yoongiβs face blanked. Jungkook looked at him, then back at Jimin, and nodded. From under Jeongyeonβs cap, Yoongi could see the worry and fear in her eyes.
βLetβs head to her room first, and weβll tell you what he told us,β Yoongi said.
The four of them made their way through the winding hallway to the other side, where your room was. The walk was short, but the silence dragged on until the creaking of the door opening was all they could hear.
Yoongi walked in first, and the moment he saw you, he felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to vomit. Your body, pale and bruised, was covered in bandages from head to toe. Half of your head was wrapped in gauze, and there were multiple wires and needles connected to your hands. He has never, ever seen you or anyone like this before. And it broke his heart, and then the guilt started to seep in.
He walked up to your unconscious body and took your hand in his. Somehow, it felt unreal, but as the seconds passed and as his eyes passed over your still and almost lifeless form, the reality of the accident and the pregnancy settled on his mind and in his heart.
He felt movement from behind him, and from his peripheral, he could see Jeongyeon grip the sleeve of Jiminβs hoodie rightly. She looked scared.
βCan someone please tell me whatβs happening?β She asked, voice shaky.
βWhat did the doctor say?β Jimin asked, settling a hand over Jeongyeonβs to comfort her.
Jungkook stayed back, leaning against the door. He waited for Yoongi to answer, but his eyes were locked on your body, so he decided to just speak up in his place.
βThe doctor said sheβs ok and is expected to wake up in the next couple of days or a week at most. Lacerations, bruising, and a head injury theyβre monitoringβ
Yoongi mumbled something as he stroked your bruised fingers. Jimin and Jeongyeon turned to look at him.
βWhat?β Jeongyeon snaps.
βSheβs pregnant,β Yoongi said, louder this time.
Jeongyeonβs eyes widened almost comically. βPregnant, how in the hell is she pregnant? I think I would know if she was having a kid with somebody.β
βItβs mine.β
βNo. Thereβs no way. You are divorced, and you hurt her. She would have never let you touch her when you hurt her as much as you did.β Jeongyeonβs voice got louder and louder, and the guilt that was planted in the pit of Yoongiβs stomach bloomed.
βYeah, I know. It was one time, and we were both emotionally wrecked. I made promises to her that I couldnβt keep, and now here we are. But thatβs my fucking kid, you canβt tell me otherwise.β Yoongi tried to keep his tone respectful, as Jeongyeon was one of the most prominent people in your life, but he could only take so much criticism. Jeongyeon talked to him as if heβd ruined your life. As if he killed you.
βItβs her child. When she wakes up, she wonβt want anything to do with you. You hurt her beyond anything you could probably even imagine in your little brain. You were off doing god knows what when she was suffering at home. Thatβs not your kid. It might be yours biologically, but you ruined all the chances you had of being a dad when you broke Y/nβs heart.β
Every word Jeongyeon said was like a knife to his heart. It fed the flower of guilt and made it grow. He couldnβt really argue because it was true. He deserved it. You were a unit before, but when he had promised to try harder, he didnβt follow through, and now youβre divorced and pregnant, and you hate him, and you two will be parents, but in a broken family.
βΆ 3. a tiny heartbeat in the midst of heartbreak
βΆ SUMMARY: jungkook's thoughts. Yoongi gets life-changing news.
βΆ TW: mentions of car accident.
βΆ NOTE: just a reminder i'm also on ao3 (joons1uckystar) posting this fic! come chat with me here or on ao3!
In that cold lobby, Jungkook looks at Yoongiβs form and tries to understand how their night had ended up like this. He couldnβt understand how all of this could happen in such a short amount of time. It was only two months ago that you and Yoongi had divorced, and he genuinely, honestly thought you were both better off. He saw your marriage as a burden on both of you, and when you guys decided to divorce, he was probably one of the few people who congratulated Yoongi rather than offering his condolences. He always thought you and Yoongi were two completely different people, with completely different lifestyles. Incompatible, as some would say. He really couldnβt figure out how you two came together in the first place. Yoongi was cold toward strangers, and his whole life revolved around Bangtan and his music. There was little else that fit in between that. You, on the other hand, had a warmth that threatened to burn. You wereβ¦.you. He couldnβt name it. He just knew that you and Yoongi would have never worked out in the first place. Yoongi struggled with demons that not even he or the rest of the members knew about, and constantly drowned them out with work or alcohol, while you lived your life being happy to live in the moment. To Jungkook, you were too good for Yoongi, and he hated you for it.
Now, when he looked at Yoongi, his slightly trembling figure and his face betraying his feelings of anxiety, he wondered if it was all in his head. Did he make those assumptions based on what was convenient for him to believe? Jungkook stayed quiet, fiddling with his phone and his fingers, but he could hear the constant broken sighs coming from Yoongi and the occasional hums of reassurance from Jimin. Every creak of an opening door set him off, only ending in disappointment when none of the doors that opened were yours.
Jimin breaks the silence. βShould I call Jeongyeon? She has the right to know that her best friend is in the hospital.β
Yoongi nods, βYeah, that sounds like a good idea.β
βDo you want me to call Sejin and tell him to cancel your schedule for tomorrow?βΒ
βNo, Iβll text him. Iβll stay with Y/n for tonight if they let me.β Yoongi replies, taking out his phone to send a quick message.
βJeongyeon said sheβs on the way. Iβll meet her out front and bring her here.β Jimin states as he stands up and puts his phone in his back pocket.
Time passes slowly in the lobby. It was nearing one in the morning, and the shock of the accident seemed to have passed; reality had settled into Jungkookβs stomach. You were in a car accident. You are in one of those rooms, most likely in critical condition, while he was out with Yoongi partying. He knows he has nothing to be guilty for. The car accident wasnβt his fault, but the fact that youβre lying in that room, unconscious and hanging onto your life while your ex-husband was out partying with his lover at his invitation, prompted guilt to curdle in his stomach.
His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of another door opening, but this time, the footsteps were sounding closer and closer until it eventually stopped in front of Yoongi and Jungkook.
He looked up to see a man in scrubs and a white coat. He was holding a clipboard close to his chest and examining it. After another once-over at the clipboard, he turned his gaze over at Yoongi, who stood up quickly, nervously.
βRelatives of Mrs. Kim Y/n?β He asked.
βHusband.β Yoongi croaked.
βSheβs stable for now, but there are multiple lacerations on her skin that may leave scars. What Iβm worried about is the head injury. It seems she hit her head pretty hard and ended up with a long gash down her neck. We will be referring her to Neurology when she wakes up, just to make sure nothing is wrong.β The doctor started going over your chart with Yoongi.
βWill she be waking up soon?β Yoongi asked.
The doctor looked at him, a trace of sadness and uncertainty in his eyes.
βThe surgery went well, so the recovery should be fine, but we donβt know exactly when sheβll wake up. Weβre anticipating some time before the end of the week. However, there is another thing Iβm worried about that shocked me while we were treating her wounds.β The doctor said ominously. He flipped through the pages of the chart, and silence had dawned upon them.
Yoongi was getting anxious. βWhat is it? Is there something wrong? Whatever it is, I can pay for any treatment!β
βItβs not that, Sir -βΒ
βYoongi.βΒ
βRight, Yoongi. While we were checking her vitals, we found another heartbeat.β
Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Jungkook in confusion. Jungkook could only shrug, just as confused as Yoongi was. Yoongi didnβt know if the doctor was trying to imply what he thought he was.
βWhat do you mean?β Yoongi asked impatiently.
The doctor sighs.Β
βSheβs pregnant. Almost 2 months along, and somehow the baby survived the impact of the crash.β
βΆ SUMMARY: yoongi gets a call and jungkook follows.
βΆ TW: mentions of blood, car accident, swearing
βΆ NOTE: not proofread, if there are grammar and punctuation mistakes just ignore lol! this is slightly longer with a few changes to the original <3 just a reminder i'm also on ao3 (joons1uckystar) posting this fic!
In the busy night streets of Seoul, a terrible car accident had caught the attention of terrified citizens. Bystanders were quick to call 119, but due to the rain and traffic, it took nearly 15 minutes for the ambulance and authorities to come and assess the situation.
You lost consciousness at the initial impact. When they dragged you out from under the car, your whole body was covered in blood, bruises, and shards of glass. You remained unconscious all the way through the ride to the ER, and by the time the EMTs got you where you needed to be, a flurry of nurses were waiting and rushing to take you in. The other driver died at the scene. You were the only one showing signs of life; a slow, but existing pulse.
The belongings you came with were given to the charge nurse, who quickly took them out of the ziploc bag provided by the EMTs and started rummaging through them to find any sort of identification on you. Though you were relatively well known in Seoul, it was hard to recognize your face when almost the entirety of your body was bloody, battered, and bruised. Eventually, the nurse was able to retrieve your medical records to find your emergency contact, only to be surprised at who it was. Min Yoongi. The sole emergency contact. The charge nurse dialed his number and waited for him to pick up, but after nearly 6 tries, there was still no answer. It was hard to gauge what to do while they waited for a call back because there was no one else on your contact list. All they could do at that moment was keep calling and leaving voicemails. They could only hope that he would show up or at least call them back to send them any other important contacts.
-
On the other side of the city, Min Yoongi was living his best life. He was sitting in a private lounge at the hottest nightclub in Seoul, courtesy of Jungkook. Heβd invited him and Yura out to celebrate their romance becoming βofficialβ, commenting that he no longer had to walk on eggshells now that they were public.
Two months post-divorce had looked good on him. You could ask anyone who knew Yoongi, and they would tell you heβd never looked better than he did now, and he felt it, too. Energized, invigorated. Thatβs how Yura made him feel. He looked at her, cuddled up on his side, and thought that life was starting to look up again.
βYou look happy, hyung.β Jungkook noted, lifting a shot glass to his lips.
Yoongi looks at him, the corners of his lips slightly lifting. βYou keep saying that. Iβm very happy right now.β
Jungkook laughs, βI keep saying it because I think you deserve to hear it. Itβs been a while since I saw you this happy, at least not since y/n. Is it rude to say that I felt like you guys never seemed right together? You and Yura are definitely more compatible.β
Yoongi peers over at Yura, who looks at Jungkook and begins to giggle. She doesnβt say anything at the mention of your name. Yoongi thinks itβs because itβs not really her place to say anything about it at all.
βYeah, I guess so. Itβs whatever. What happened with y/n is in the past. Separating was the best choice for both of us. We didnβt work out, and Iβm with Yura now. Iβm happy.β Yoongi states, almost as if heβs reassuring himself.
βCheers to that!β Yura says from beside him, lifting a shot glass to her lips. Jungkook mirrors her action, and just as Yoongi is about to do the same, his phone rings.
He lets it go to voicemail, but calls keep coming one after the other. Strange, because he specifically told the managers that he did not want to be contacted today about work. It comes to a point where he can no longer ignore the calls. He takes his phone from his jacket pocket and looks at the calls. 6 missed calls, all from the same unfamiliar number. 1 voicemail. Based on how many times they called, he assumed it was important.
Yura peered over at his phone, then looked at him. βWhatβs wrong? Whoβs calling you?β
Yoongi shook his head. βNot sure, I donβt know the number, but it seems like an emergency. Iβll be right back.β
Holding his phone in his hand, Yoongi excused himself from the table. Jungkook and Yura both nod at him, watching as he leaves through the side door.
The alley that the door opened up to was eerily empty. The air smelled different because of the rain, a smell that permeated into his brain and attached to a memory he tries to push away. Looking out onto the puddles on the concrete, he grumbles. He hates the rain.Β
He unlocked his phone to listen to the voicemail.Β
βGood Evening, this phone call is for Min Yoongi. We are calling from Seoul General Hospital requesting an urgent callback. You were listed as the sole emergency contact for a patient who just came in. Please give us a call back as soon as you can.β
His hand trembled slightly as he held onto his phone, listening to the voicemail. He didnβt really have to think critically to know that the patient they spoke of was you. There was no one else he knew that would have him as their emergency contact, though he questioned why it hadnβt been changed to someone else, like Jeongyeon, after the divorce. Whatever, he couldnβt think about that right now. He needed to go to Seoul General right now. Normally, it would be a 20-minute drive from where he was right now, but it was nearing midnight, so the streets shouldnβt be too crowded. If he sped, he could probably cut it down to 10 or 15 minutes, but was that enough?Β
He started thinking about the things that could happen in those 10 or 15 minutes. The voicemail hadnβt said anything specific. It didnβt even state your name, so he was in the dark. All he knew was that you were in the hospital and he was the only one listed on your emergency contacts.Β
Fear clawed at his chest. He was scared to go to the hospital. He was scared to get there and find out what happened. Whatever it was, all he wanted was for you to be okay. Even if you were already divorced, that didnβt mean he didnβt care for you. You spent a significant amount of your lives together, and hadβat one pointβloved each other.
Without a moment wasted, Yoongi ran back inside the club to grab his coat and his keys. His urgency was noticed by Jungkook and Yura, who stood up to stop him. Yura grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
βWhatβs going on? Where are you going?β She asks urgently.
Yoongi shook her hand off. He was anxious to leave at this point. βItβs an emergency, I gotta go. Iβll call you later, okay?β He told her.
Yura nods and sits back down to scroll on her phone, a frown evident on her face.Β
βYura, Iβll walk him out. Iβll be right back.β Jungkook says. Yura waves him off.
He follows Yoongi out of the door to the parking lot. He can see the stress on Yoongiβs face and knew immediately that something was terribly wrong.
βHyung, whatβs going on? Whatβs the emergency?β He asks.
βY/nβs in the hospital right now. I got a bunch of calls from Seoul General because Iβm her only contact. I have to go and make sure sheβs okay.β Yoongi rambles without taking a breath.Β
He could barely hear what Jungkook was saying over the ringing in his ears. He felt slightly faint, but thankfully, he was able to walk to his car. He didnβt even notice Jungkook following him until his hand shot out to stop Yoongi from opening the driverβs side door.
βI donβt think youβre in the right headspace to be driving. Your hands are shaking. Iβll drive. Let me just call Yura and let her know Iβm ordering a ride for her.β Jungkook says.
βWhat about your car?β Yoongi asks.
βWeβll just get it later or tomorrow.βΒ
Yoongi looks at his hands, feeling completely dissociated from his own body. They were shaking, but he didnβt even notice. There was still a ringing in his ear when he moved to the passengerβs side and sat down. Jungkook only glanced at him, a look he guessed was full of pity, before starting the car and moving out of the parking lot.
The drive to the hospital was long and excruciating. Jungkook was speeding, but Yoongi felt the time pass by slowly, the imaginary ticking of a clock ringing loud and ominous in his ear and beating through his heart.
When they arrived at the hospital, it was much busier than they had initially expected it to be. Yoongi ran through the sea of people to the receptionist with Jungkook following slowly behind. The woman behind the desk looked to be middle-aged and didnβt seem to care for his frantic state.
Yoongi could barely catch his breath enough to talk. βIβm here for Kim Y/n. Please tell me where she is!β He realizes heβs almost yelling, and takes a deep breath.
The woman looked up at him strangely. βName and relation to the patient, please?β
βItβs Min Yoongi. Iβm the husband,β he states, not even noticing the slip of tongue.
She starts typing and then stops, looking over Yoongiβs shoulder. βWho is that young man behind you?β
βHeβs with me. Please, we need to see her.β Yoongi pleads urgently, fingers grasping the edge of the receptionistβs desk.
βAlright, he can go into the waiting area with you, but only family members are allowed to be in the patientβs room at this time. Please wait here, a nurse will grab you shortly.β She informs them while pressing a few buttons on her pager. Sheβs so nonchalant that it was grating on Yoongiβs nerves. Canβt she see that this was an emergency? In that moment, he hears the beeping of his phone and realizes that heβd been holding onto his phone so tightly that his hands were turning white. He feels Jungkookβs hand on his shoulder, grounding him.
βYura just texted. Sheβs home safe.β Jungkook informed Yoongi, and the latter could only nod.
After what seemed like forever, another nurse walked up to the two of them and introduced herself. Yoongi couldnβt hear her name or what she was saying. The ringing was still prominent in his ear. He could only follow listlessly.Β
Several endless hallways later, they stop in front of two doors. Yoongi looks up and sees the name of the wing. Emergency Room. His heart was pounding in his ears. The nurse opens the door and lets them into a lobby area filled with similarly anxious people. While Yoongi and Jungkook take a seat, she walks up to the receptionist and informs them that the two of them were here specifically for you. She comes back and lets Yoongi know that they will be informed as soon as there is an update, but at this moment, evaluation and treatment were still in progress.
Yoongi leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and takes a deep shuddering breath. Jungkook pats his back.
βHyung, sheβs going to be okay.β Jungkook reassures, unsure of what else he could say to comfort him. Even he wasnβt sure if that was true.
Yoongi could only nod. Then he sees a pair of legs stop in front of him. He looks up, seeing a woman in scrubs. He vaguely remembers seeing her behind the reception desk.
βMr. Min? My name is Minji, and I am the desk nurse who called you earlier. You were listed as Mrs. Kimβs only emergency contact. Do you know if she has any other relatives to contact?β She asked.
Yoongi tries to stand up, but almost collapses into the seat. The anxiety of rushing to the hospital had turned his legs into jelly. Jungkook stands up beside him and steadies him.
βNo one in the city. She has a few friends here. I will contact them, so thereβs no need for you guys to call. Thank you so much for calling me.β Yoongi replies, expressing his gratitude.
βItβs no problem at all.β She says.
βCan you tell me what happened?β Yoongi asks, picking at the pad of his thumb anxiously.
βBased on the information I was given, it was a car collision involving a box truck on the smaller side. The side opposite Mrs. Kim was impacted, and the other driver died on scene. If you would like to wait, the doctor will be out with the chart as soon as they complete evaluations and treatment. Weβre anticipating for her hospital stay to be overnight at the very least.β She informed him.
Yoongi could barely speak. He could barely absorb the information.
βWe think the collision might have been due to the rain.β She adds.
He could only nod. She hates the rain.
βIβll let you wait here then. You can come to the receptionist again when youβre ready to fill out her paperwork.β She said before nodding at him and going back to sit behind the desk.
Yoongi stares ahead blankly. She drove in the rain. Why would she drive in the rain? She hates the rain.Β
Jungkook guides him back to sit down and doesnβt say anything. He can see in Yoongiβs eyes that heβs stuck in his head, in a faraway place, wondering how this could have happened.
βHyung, are you going to be staying here overnight?β Jungkook asks, interrupting Yoongiβs train of thought.
Yoongi nods, unable to say anything.
βOkay, let me call Jimin to come pick me up. Weβll get my car, and Iβll come back here, okay? Are you going to be okay alone?βΒ
Yoongi starts biting his thumbnail. βYeah, I think Iβll be good. Go and get your car, and Iβll see you back here.β
Jungkook nods, taking his phone out to call Jimin, who was luckily nearby. It had only taken five minutes for him to arrive and pick him up. Jungkook looks at his hyung, suddenly seeing how tired he looks, and lets him know heβll be back with Jimin.
In the car, Jungkook stared out the window, watching the rain start to sprinkle again.
βSo, are you gonna tell me why you had me come pick you up at the hospital?β Jimin inquires, glancing at Jungkook
Jungkook swiped his hand over his mouth and sighed. βY/nβs in the hospital. Car accident, they said. Yoongi was her emergency contact.β
That almost caused Jimin to brake suddenly. βIs she okay?β He asks, needing to know. He was your friend, too. Jungkook forgot that.
βWe donβt know yet,β Jungkook says.
As they drove their way back to the club, they were met with a detour not too far out from the hospital. Police cars were re-directing cars due to what looked like a car accident. As they made their way closer to the scene, Jungkookβs spine straightened, and he leaned in closer to take a look.
βJimin, thatβs Y/nβs car. Itβs fucking totaled.β He states.
Jimin says nothing, grip on the steering wheel tightening. Silence filled the car, the two trying to absorb the scene they had just passed. Your car, totaled and almost totally crushed, and a box truck flipped on its side. The pavement with scattered glass and streaks of blood, police officers clearing out the debris and re-directing traffic. It was almost unbelievable.
The rest of the car ride to the club was drowned in silence.
-
Almost half an hour later, Yoongi is still waiting in the same room, in the same chair, still biting his thumbnail, when Jungkook and Jimin join to sit on either side of him. Jungkook on his left, and Jimin on his right. He can sense the somberness radiating from them.
βWhat happened?β He asks, wanting to know why they were so silent.
Jimin speaks up first, a look of sorrow passing through his eyes.Β
βWhen we were on the way to the club, we passed by the car accident. Hyung, it was bad.β
βHow bad was it?β Yoongiβs right leg starts to shake, and his voice cracks. Heβs worried that heβs going to start crying. There was too much uncertainty in this situation that he canβt sit still and calm down.
This time, Jungkook speaks. βThe truck was on the smaller side, but it was still big. It was flipped on itβs side and Y/nβs car was totaled. It looked like it was almost completely crushed from the right side.β His eyes were dazed, thinking back to the scene that they saw. βThere was a lot of blood.β
Yoongi starts to shake. Jimin wraps his arm around Yoongiβs shoulder to steady and ground him.Β
He, too, thinks about the scene of the car accident. It was truly horrifying. He couldnβt imagine anyone surviving that. The amount of blood was out of a horror movie. He still canβt associate that scene to you. None of them can wrap their head around this happening to you.
Jungkook takes hold of Yoongiβs left hand, hoping to provide some sort of comfort. He may not have been close to Y/n, but he never wished anything as horrifying as this on her or anybody. He could tell Yoongi was terrified. The man was shaking in his seat.Β
βI just donβt understand why she would be out this late. I donβt understand why she was driving in this weather. She hated driving that car, and she hated the rain. She hated driving in the rain the most because it scared her. Why would she be out driving when it was pouring? I just donβt understand this!β Yoongi exclaimed frantically
Thatβs how Jungkook and Jimin could tell that Yoongi was scared. He starts to ramble, and in that fear, he begins to reminisce about the small facts about you that people normally wouldnβt notice.
βWe donβt know, hyung. No one would have ever expected this to happen to her. Sheβll be okay. No oneβs come out yet, so that must mean theyβre still working on her. Thereβs still hope,β Jimin says reassuringly.
Yoongi groans and covers his face with both of his hands. He wants to cry, but heβs so angry and so scared that he canβt. He couldnβt even begin to comprehend this whole situation. The weight of Jungkookβs hand on his, Jiminβs arms around his shoulder, and the constant blaring of the red light above the door leading to the treatment rooms made it seem like he was in hell waiting for his punishment.
βΆ SUMMARY: yn goes out for a drive.
βΆ TW: brief mention of blood
βΆ NOTE: not proofread, if there are grammar and punctuation mistakes just ignore lol!
Maybe you need to stay off social media for a bit. You contemplated deleting your accounts more times than you can remember after a highly publicized divorce from one of the most famous musicians in the world, but in your industry and in this day and age, social media was king. The rational part of you argued that you needed to stay on social media to network for future projects, and after being led by your emotions for so long, and seeing where it got you, you figured it was time to start being rational. Or at least try. Thatβs what you kept telling yourself, but every time you logged onto Twitter or Instagram, you couldnβt escape the pictures, tweets, and news reports about your ex-husband, his new girlfriend, and the friends who no doubt encouraged him to start a relationship with her while you were still married. How can you? Your ex-husband is a member of the biggest group in the world. He and his fellow members were everywhere. You hated it. Hated seeing his face everywhere. Him with her. The happiness on both of their faces, while you caged yourself in your apartment and spent hours wallowing in the dull ache that settled in your chest every time you saw any type of content about him. He was moving on, and you were the only one left to suffer the fallout.
That familiar feeling of disgust settles in your stomach, and you push yourself away from your desk to look outside your window, only to realize itβs gotten dark. The sunβthe only thing you found comfort in these daysβhas disappeared and given way to the same dark sky that watched your life fall apart. A glance at the clock above your window told you it was nearing 11 PM. The quick passage of time only made you realize that you spent your day wallowing in your sorrows again, instead of doing something productive like writing in your journal or taking the initiative to call your agent and maybe book some jobs. Well, itβs too late for the latter, so you decide itβs going to be a long, long night of writing, and that meant you had to go out and get some food to sustain you through it all.
From the corner of your eye, you see the dark clouds start to roll in. Ah, it might rain tonight, you think. You wouldnβt be out for too long. The convenience store was only a 20-minute walk from your apartment. It will take at most 10 minutes to get your food, and then another 20 minutes to walk back home. You pick up the black coat left on your chair, along with your purse and an umbrella, and rush out the door. Ideally, youβd be back home by midnight. By the time you get down to the lobby of your apartment complex, after scaling 11 flights of stairs, you see that the rain has started and is only becoming heavier by the second. It was probably a better idea to drive to the convenience store, rather than walk, as you had initially planned. A few minutes driving in the rain couldnβt be as bad as nearly 30 minutes walking in it, right? That was the rational part of you talking again. You make your way to the parking garage, where your Aston Martin DB12 is parked. Not the most convenient car to drive around Seoul, but it was the only car you had, only because you got it in the divorce. Apparently, Yoongi just couldnβt leave you out on the streets with nothing, so he gave you this stupid, expensive car. Thinking about that moment, you scoff. As if giving you a luxury car would somehow make the situation better.
As you settle into your car, you really think about that moment. It feels like Yoongi really didnβt know you. This car was proof of that. You hated driving it, not only because of its obnoxious luxury, but also because of your lack of confidence. Youβd never really been an experienced driver. Even before the divorce, you always had someone driving you or someone in the car with you. Rarely was there ever a time when you drove on your own. Now, youβre all alone in a city that seemed to be too big and too fast for your heart.
11:10 PM. According to your memory, the nearest convenience store closed at midnight, so you were still good on time. You hurry to start the car anyway. Better to be safe than sorry. There is a bad feeling settling in your stomach as you see the rain start to come down harder and harder, but you decide to ignore it. The goal for tonight was simple: go to the store, grab some food, go home, write a page or two, and just let your emotions out. As soon as you get home, youβll take your therapistβs advice to write down how youβre feeling and start the process to heal. As soon as you get home, youβre going to start moving on. Tonight would be the start of a new beginning
As you drive out of the parking garage onto the main streets, the rain comes down hard on your windshield. Much harder than it looked from where you were in the parking garage. Seeing this made you nervous. Heart racing, you can faintly feel your hands start to shake. It was raining on that day too, you think, reminiscing about the day the divorce papers were placed in front of you by Yoongiβs lawyer. He didnβt even have the guts to give it to you himself. Remembering that caused your hands to shake even more, prompting you to grip the steering wheel hard to control it. That day, you slammed the door in his lawyerβs face and waited until he left to run out of the house and sit under the pouring rain to cry. There was something poetic about your tears being washed away by the droplets of rain.
After that, you constantly asked yourself why you were even surprised by the divorce papers when you already knew what he was hiding under your nose those last couple of months. But was it really hiding when he and his friends made it painfully and disgustingly obvious? Though you know Yoongi would never physically cheat on you, he had willingly entertained the feelings of that woman and eventually reciprocated them. They saw each other every day because they were label-mates under the same company, and if there were any budding rumors about the growing feelings, subtle touches, and looks between the married global superstar Min Yoongi and the rookie model Kwon Yura, it would be shut down as quickly as it was brought up because Min Yoongi had that power. He was a member of the group that built that company from the ground up and turned it into the multi-billion-dollar entertainment giant that it is now. He could protect that woman, but he couldnβt protect you from the slander and bullying you faced when you first started dating, or when you got married. He didnβt protect you when his friends and co-workers constantly snubbed you or indirectly said something insulting about you at company events or Sunday dinners.
When he started to drift apart from you and from your marriage, it was painfully obvious. Itβs like he wasnβt even trying to hide it. Late nights at the studio turned into never coming home. Taking you to company events turned into not even telling you about them in the first place. You found out with everybody else when he started taking her to those events instead. On top of that, it seemed like he never fully supported your career as you did his. Those last couple of months of your marriage just felt like a humiliation ritual, and you were the only one being humiliated while millions of people witnessed it. So really, should you be surprised that you got betrayed and your heart was trampled on by the man who swore and claimed to love you more than anything in the world?
No, you should not have been surprised. In fact, you should have seen it coming. He was a coward who betrayed you in the worst possible way he could have, and you were a fake who couldnβt own up to your own struggles and save the relationship.
A pain shot through your heart, and your train of thought was shattered by an ear-piercing honk coming from the other side of the car.
Before you can even get a grasp of whatβs happening, the car overturns, and you feel your body being whipped violently by the force before everything goes numb. Your ears are ringing, and you can practically feel your heart beating out of your chest. You canβt breathe. You can vaguely see shards of glass cutting into your skin. You canβt feel it, but thereβs so much blood that you know itβs going to hurt like a bitch when you wake up, if you wake up.
You couldnβt help but laugh at the situation. Or wheeze. Of all the times you thought about dying,Β you never once imagined being taken out by a fucking car accident. And you certainly didnβt think you would still be wallowing in your sorrows about Yoongiβs betrayal on your deathbed.
Β Today was supposed to be the day you moved on. Tonight was the start of a new beginning.
βΆNOTE: I am on ao3 as well under "joons1uckystar", where this fic is being crossposted! would love to interact with you guys here or there and talk about anything and everything about this fic <3
βΆyoo jeongyeon: member of twice, yn's best friend
βΆkim namjoon: member of bts, yn's close friend
βΆkim seokjin: member of bts, yn's close friend
βΆjung hoseok: member of bts
βΆpark jimin: member of bts, yn's close friend
βΆkim taehyung: member of bts
βΆjeon jungkook: member of bts
βΆkwon yura: model under bighit, yoongi's current girlfriend.
hi..... it's me... long time no see or talk.... (β₯οΉβ₯) when I last updated the old version of this, I was still in community college. i am now post-grad, 2 associates degrees and 1 bachelors and in my HR bag! lol. I was definitely still just a kid when I wrote the original version of this, but i've been thinking about re-writing and revamping this specific work for a while now and just decided to do it.
there will be a few changes, but the major contributing factors to the plot will not change. For the most part, i'm not going to state specific ages, just that Y/N was 19 when she met Yoongi (which is because this song is based off of "Nineteen" by Tegan & Sara, specifically the Hayley Williams cover!). The boys are still Bangtan in this AU, and Yoongi is not a CEO like in the original. Y/N is close to some members in BTS and not so close to others. She has a best friend in this version. :D
If this song would've come out back in the 2000s, we would've all collectively lost out minds and would've done twice as many edits as we did with White Flag by Ditto bc NOBODY'S SON, NOBODY'S DAUGHTER?!!!! ππππ
