Jordan.

24 Colorado.

[sweetdivination]

what is air moon culture

I hope you’re ready because I have an entire LIST  

Air moon culture is:

Pretending things don’t bother you because you always want to come off as easy-going

Accidentally leaving people on read bc you got distracted and now you feel bad

Feeling like an awful friend/partner/etc when someone is being emotional and you don’t know what to do

Getting obsessed with something and researching every little thing about it until you’re quickly bored and move onto the next thing

Getting distracted for hours at a time by like, anything.

Using humor to comfort people

Finally being comfortable enough to express your emotions to someone, only to have them (most of the time) brush it off. (or feel attacked lol)

Not being able to sleep because your mind is racing with thoughts (might be more of a Gemini moon thing)

 Over-analyzing feelings

Accidentally coming off as flirtatious

[unti-tle-d]

[menchie]

making a giant aries cookie

[x-heesy]

JE₦₦¥ Ʀł₡ҤλƦÐ$Ø₦

[sabrenity]

the front bottoms//twin size mattress

[tank-girll-deactivated20191211]

@neomlei

[andrewhozier]

wasteland, baby! + favorite songs and lyrics

wasteland, baby // almost (sweet music) // shrike // would that i

[kylejengman]

Callow x Novo Amor

[alienvampire-deactivated2020090]

[dichotomized]

[dichotomized]

Masks worn by doctors during the Plague. The protective suit of the plague doctor consisted of a heavy fabric overcoat that was waxed, a mask with glass eye openings and a cone nose shaped like a beak to hold scented substances and straw.

[twloha]

“I’m all-too familiar with the absolute rock bottom of depression, where eating, showering, answering the phone have all fell to the wayside because what’s the point? Sounds, colors, what’s left of your feelings, feel like they’ve been bleached, drilled away, or fully uprooted. Everything you encounter is dull and muted. Food has no taste. Sex brings no joy. Nothing. That’s all you want right now because it’s the only thing that’s comfortable. Your brain is telling you the same things over and over again: ‘You are worthless. You should be ashamed of yourself for the horrendous things you’ve done during your life. You are beyond redemption. No one is as bad a person as you. This world would be better without you. This world would be better without you. This world would be better without you.' This voice sounds like exactly you, if a stranger were to hear it they wouldn’t think twice. But this is not your voice. This is a disease that has taken up permanent residence in parts of your brain.”

— Sam Grittner, “Dear Friend”

[twloha]

“If you need a timeout, take it. If you need to disappear, to disconnect, to log off, to take a vacation, to just simply exist and rest—do it. Healing begins with you.”

— Alexandra Dukat, “It’s OK to Take a Step Back”

[horrifying]

via weheartit

[lovenotesuggestions]

Concept: lying on the couch with you, tangled in each other’s arms and wrapped up in the fluffiest blanket we own. It’s raining heavier than it’s rained in months, and we’re listening to the clatter of the droplets on the roof. We’re at peace.

[twloha]

“I was emotionally and verbally abused for the first 16 years of my life or so by my father. That’s a hard thing for me to type. It’s an even harder thing for me to say out loud. My instinct is to clarify that I still had a good childhood by most accounts. I have a wonderful mom. Honestly the best mom. She’s my hero. And I have amazing grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. And friends who loved me well. I didn’t have a bad childhood persay. My instinct tells me to negate the fact that I was abused. To explain that life wasn’t all bad. But while I’m saying all the good things out loud, my brain whispers, ‘Then why are you so broken?' For a long time I tried to use a tough exterior to overpower my brokenness. I didn’t let myself cry. I didn’t want to talk about my feelings. I didn’t let things get to me. I thought I was in a pretty good place. I had “overcome” my hardships. Slowly I started realizing that wasn’t a healthy way to live. I wasn’t letting people in. In fact, I was pushing them away when I needed them the most. I wasn’t being honest with my loved ones or with myself. I was just bottling everything up.”

— Rebecca Wilkinson, “Lions and Sunflowers”

[altruisticbynature]

What its like to be in your early 20′s with a chronic illness

Or in my case, multiple chronic illnesses. 1. Drinking: hahahahahahaha not with that medication babe. And if you can at all, very lightly. 

2. Going out: It depends on what the plans are, either way be prepared to cancel last minute and fear all of your friends hate you. Oh and if its for food, be prepared to have a massive anxiety attack about what you can/can’t each. Oh and if your intestines are going to explode in the middle of dinner.

3. Relationships: Constant fear that they are going to leave you because you are “always sick” “you never feel good”. Dates will be rare. Sex will be rare.

4. Sleep: You ALWAYS want it. Sometimes you lay there in agonizing pain and can’t seem to sleep. Sometimes you can’t wake up. Just depends on the day.

Through all of the good and bad days you have to grit your teeth and push through. You go to work when you want to stay home and rest your joints. You go to class, even though you have to get up every five minutes and puke. You try your hardest to have/keep conversations with people, even though you are jealous of their adventures and “spending money”. You choose which medication and which doctor bill you can afford out of your paycheck. You laugh, and tell everyone “yeah yeah one day I will have kids.” When you know your own medical conditions (and the fear of passing it on) will prevent that completely. Plus who would want to marry someone that was “always sick”.

[royalmeatsuithostage]

What They Don't Tell You

When they diagnose you with a Chronic Illness they tell you the symptoms, the side effects, how it can progressively get worse, what treatment is available, hell they’ll even suggest what to eat but what they don’t tell you while you’re sitting across from them is how hard the rest of your life suddenly becomes.

They don’t tell you all your favourite hobbies that required a lot of energy might as well be tossed to the side.

They don’t tell you all your life goals and dreams get jumbled up and switched around and some even need to be put on the back burners until you’ve found a way to manage your symptoms.

They don’t tell you how every day from here on out is going to be an uphill battle with two wounded legs and the weight of the world on your back. And that there will be people telling you “You don’t look sick” or “You just have to power through it” or my personal favourite “My relative has a similar disease and she runs 8 marathons a year and eats nothing but kale”.

They don’t tell you how lonely you’re going to be. Your chronic illness gets in the way of hangouts, meetings, school, your job and the only socialisation you’ll be getting is from text messages or phone calls and that’s if your friends remember you- because they haven’t seen you in so long. Or worse they’ve stopped inviting you because you “can’t come out to play” because something hurts.

I’m learning all of this on my own. I’m learning how to live with a disease I didn’t think I would in a million years have. I was completely blindsided with how much this was going to take out of me.

I’m sitting here in tears because I miss being able to get out of bed and just do things. Because my body hurts. Because I miss my friends. Because I’m starting to think they aren’t going to be my friends in the next few days, hours, or minutes.

It sucks and it hurts. I hurt physically and mentally and I just want it to all go away.