[katdistefano]

How would I go about explaining the wonderfulness of football butt? They’re just muscular and nice and they look incredible when they’re running. Yes, yes, old news. But hush! Can’t let the whole town in on it, can we?

[jordanpriestly]

But people poo out of their butts, just think about that- like the excess flesh was placed there for sitting and pooping. And they fart. It's freaky-deaky. You can't hush me, I'm a maverick. I'm excited and I refuse to let my fire be quenched. Bae.... can you name it Jordan because it works for both a guy and girl, and I know someone named Jordan who is the raddest kid.

[loveis-scarlett]

Okay, not the linebackers, but give me a running back or wide receiver’s butt any day. 

[jordanpriestly]

Everyone likes butts! Kat just said she likes butts too, my favorite part is the confetti at the end... is there something wrong with me?

[katdistefano]

Because they’ve got really toned butts and people who don’t like football need something nice to look at.

[jordanpriestly]

I don't understand, are their butts even that cool looking? Like is one shaped like a dinosaur? Also-BABY MAMA.

[loveis-scarlett]

You can barely see the ball. However, you can see asses in spandex.

[jordanpriestly]

Does it ever freak you out when they're running and the camera guy zooms in and all you see is 200+ pounds of flesh just raving?

[loveis-scarlett]

So that you have something to stare at while they play!

[jordanpriestly]

Wait... but I try to like watch the ball and I don't think I can pull off looking at two things at once. That would confuse me.....

[jordanpriestly]

Wait I don't get it, so why do they wear tight pants?

[theharrison-thorne-deactivated2]

I will look into it.

It’s all good. And yes, my little girl. Legit? Is that a good thing? I’m not in with all this new words of this century. 

[jordanpriestly]

Smart thinking, although you'll need to credit me somehow with the idea because I tend to write strongly worded letters when the people don't do that.

Legit like super nice and an awesome human. Much good, Mr. Mayor. This is so unfair, you're like a cool dad. Mine was too into football games to know I was there.

[southsiide]

;open

It was probably a hunter, but Jasper could care less who it was, because at the moment, the person was kicking the shit out of him. Owens didn’t have even a second to react; he was being beaten senseless, thrown to the ground, kicked. He had no clue how long it went on for, but the actions were being thrown so quickly he didn’t have the time to get up and fight back. For some unusual reason, the hunter used nothing but his own fists to attack. He didn’t kill Jasper, either. Just left the vampire on the ground as a bloody, writhing mess.

[jordanpriestly]

Blame it on her curiosity, or her love of exploring, Jordan was yet again wandering about. Ever since the doctor's news, she'd taken to secluded trips around Yarrow Point. Something about that managed to calm her down, kept her from thinking oto much and freaking herself out. Rounding the corner, the air was thicker; the surroundings had an eerie vibe that she picked up on. All the years of training with Liam at the Arizona correctional facility had her honing in on her senses. Unlike the other hunters, Jordan actually respected other species. She had one simple rule: if her friends weren't harmed, then she didn't need to harm anyone else. Pulling out an arrow, she gently strung it up on her bow... simple protective measure for the just-in-case situation. It was dark enough that Jordan tripped over something- someone. Bringing her face towards the thing, she jolted back. "Jasper?! Oh my god what happened?! Are you alright?"

[erik-bones-deactivated20140528]

Erik wandered the streets, tossing a snowball in his hand.

[jordanpriestly]

Jordan had a habit of showing up at peculiar times, this being no exception. Seeing a passerby, she pelted the figure with a snowball before peeking out from her hiding spot. "Wow, hi friendship, how's it going? Did you know that Canada's curling team is amongst the best."

[theharrison-thorne-deactivated2]

Steve Carrell? Oh, I wish, things would be much more interesting. 

Pleasure, Jordan. I’m Mayor Thorne. 

[jordanpriestly]

I'm telling you, you guys need to invest in a Steve Carrell or a Dwight. They're like little sunshines that lighten up the room with their sunshine-ness.

Mayor Thorne? Shit, sorry, I'm being awkward and weird... Wait a second- you're Clarice's dad?! Hah I'm putting two and two together, score! She's legit, well done.

[noah---bates-deactivated2014051]

Forgive me, your highness.

[jordanpriestly]

Forgiveness has be granted, I'm just spitting them rhymes

Looking at the billboards and flipping through Times

I get a lil swerve, gets tough being Queen

Beyonce step aside, I'm the baddest bitch you've ever seen.

[noah---bates-deactivated2014051]

You are a rap god.

[jordanpriestly]

Stop Noah, you're making me feels things, I'm not prepared for feeels.

[noah---bates-deactivated2014051]

My god. 

That was beautiful.

[jordanpriestly]

Thank you, I'd like to take a moment of silence to pray to the rap gods.

[noah---bates-deactivated2014051]

So the product-baby of two black men would be you?

Sure, give it your best shot.

[jordanpriestly]

Always, Noah, always.

Got my home boy Noah right here

With me and my bruhs he ain't got nothing to fear

Got this presidential swag, all the bitches be droppin'

Now baby, won't you guess who's dick they be hoppin'

Errybody see my clique and they do complain

Can't blame it they drink beer and we high class with champagne.

[noah---bates-deactivated2014051]

Yes. 

You’re just trying to make it big in the rap game. It’s not your fault.

[jordanpriestly]

It's for real, I rap all the time. I'd like to say that I'm what Jay-z and Kanye West's rap baby would look like. It's like whoooaaa.

Would you like me to rap about you?

[noah---bates-deactivated2014051]

Yes. It’s bad.

You do seem a little shady, not gonna lie.

[jordanpriestly]

Shit-skis. That's not helping out my case. For real? Is it cause I look like I should be in 8 Mile?

[jordanpriestly]

I don't like the police, they always ask me if I'm having a good day and that freaks me out because like what if that means they think I'm suspicious? Or, what if they think that like I've committed a crime? I run away when they try to start a conversation with me, is that bad?