jordyn young

30’s. married. cats. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

i got a twitter today. i promise if you follow me you’ll get quality nuggets of hilarity. • • • • #twitter #50shadesofwumbo #ipromiseimfunny #mymomismyonlyfollower #thanksmom

[toastoat]

me constantly:

[jordyns-shitshow]

that face is just. 

[boykingdom]

who on earth coined the stereotype that girls are obsessed with changing clothes i’ve been wearing the same t shirt and pajama pants for two days now and the same bra for like three

[jordyns-shitshow]

men. men did that. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

white middle-aged women on facebook: Haha LOL ! Great picture DEBBIE. I miss the kids.What a beautiful looking family

hey ALAN and me say hi. we looked for you on facebook everywhere and had to get in touch with your mom LOIS to find you. hope you're doing well in college LOL. we remember those days. Have fun. lots of love. we miss you. love you. call us. LOVE ME DAMMIT

[workoutalltheunknowns]

I THOUGHT HE HAD KILLED IT AND WAS JUST BRINGING IT TO ME

[butifloveisagame]

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

[mielnoir6]

Oh snap I would have died on sight

[lucidnee]

Nooo

[jordyns-shitshow]

ruined my life. 

[qrsive]

why do advertisers sexualize female m&ms

why do advertisers assign gender to m&ms

[elkian]

why do advertisers humanize food products

[thesylverlining]

why is there a bear family who considers the highlight of their day to be wiping their asses

[jordyns-shitshow]

why do they make car commercials a love story. “if you pay a trillion dollars, you’ll find love” oh ok that’s why i’m single. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

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i’ve always wondered why  every fairy tale i’ve read begins with “once upon a time” and  “in a faraway land” if you’re writing a story start with a thought like “i loved my dear father even more each day until he died and went far away never coming back, i’m sad to say” that is relatable, i can get behind that i’m never happy that somebody always dies why can’t it be happy beginning to end? because that isn’t life, even in made up worlds even princesses suffer at the hands of a villain until rescued by her prince where is my prince? the hero who rescues me? i am stuck in my tower and have been forever but no one has come to slay the dragon and take me away life isn’t a fairy tale and my prince isn’t coming stuck in my ivory tower forever and ever. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

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i was on a bench, reading a book i saw a small movement, and up i look a man and a woman as close as can be couldn't help but wonder “why isn’t me?” don’t get me wrong, i’m with someone great but i just want that closeness, i wanted that fate a soulmate to treasure for all of life’s time who would buy me a flower with his very last dime just to make sure i’m happy, to just see me smile he knows that before i met him, it’d been a while i want a deep kiss from my ‘stars-aligned’ man sneaking glances at him whenever i can i want to be so passionately in love something only god could have orchestrated from above that’s what i thought of watching the couple in the park but don’t you know silly girl? such dreams are a lark. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

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sitting alone night noon and day gazing off into the nothingness as the thick layer of fretwork starts to fray i see it so clearly now what have i done? i remembered myself making a vow i swore to my soul i’d never forget in this huge universe it’s easy to let slip i’m just a lost nobody caught in a net and as i am stuck there wishing to be free i remembered a small girl once to me spoke “be who you are and who you are let be” she was so wise i wondered why did i have memories, such vivid dreams of this little wise girl as me, i could fly! few into the poisonous lacework right here, i know my journey will end “yes it does” said my catptor with his proud sinister smirk.

[jordyns-shitshow]

it's exhausting being this beautiful. i mean. really. 

[thegirlwithchocolateshoes]

Coloring coloring books into a whole new level.

Art on the right by: http://loish.deviantart.com/ Coloring book pages belong to Disney.

[unclegrandpaapologist-deactivat]

whoever did this is a danger to society

[jordyns-shitshow]

I am 27 fucking years old and I still coLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES

[debloodyfresh]

Jobe the pug

[jordyns-shitshow]

i am crying. i've never seen something so cute in my life. 

[crashingwavesroaringthunder-dea]

[jordyns-shitshow]

this makes me feel violated. 

[boykingdom]

who on earth coined the stereotype that girls are obsessed with changing clothes i’ve been wearing the same t shirt and pajama pants for two days now and the same bra for like three

[jordyns-shitshow]

men. men did that. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

every time i go outside i say omg i'm freezing even if i'm not so winter doesn't get too self conscious and won't try too hard. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

got weirdddd in a big boy. 

[jordyns-shitshow]

having some coffee with my force this morning.