Dispatches from the Frigid Northlands

Web designer/developer | He/him | Just some guy, stuck in a fish dream

[jorrmungandr]

she screm

[itsyveinthesky]

[seabassapologist]

[penismage]

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

[yubels-deactivated20210922]

[lakevida]

not sure how much more i can take of this specific book being advertised to me but the hook did grab me this time

[piles-of-dust-and-gay]

[mortalityplays]

the thing about being a contrarian (which I don't believe I am, but when I say so my friends smile knowingly and shake their heads and there's no getting out of that spike pit trap once you're in it) is that you must strive to be as contrarian (positive) as you are contrarian (negative). when you hate something instantly, you have to haul your own instincts up to the witness stand and badger them. where does your antipathy come from? is your evidence material or circumstantial? are you a reliable witness? when a friend introduces you to a friend and you see in the first split second that you were arch-nemeses in a past life, you must steel yourself and compliment their horrible shirt and listen to at least two of their jokes before you go home and pin their picture to the dartboard. this is how you work around your own prejudices, but more importantly it is also how you gather evidence that you were right in the first place and you're an astute observer of the human condition and not a contrarian just because your friends' stupid accusation is rhetorically impossible to refute. if anything they're the ones,

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[podcastwizard]

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

[kropotkindersurprise]

June 8, 2025 - Anti-ICE protesters in Los Angeles stop a column of police cars by bombarding them with rocks and objects from an overpass. [video]

[outsidewolves]

[pangur-and-grim]

wait….. he’s cutie?

[pangur-and-grim]

a lot of his poses are just “corpse of a marine mammal bloating on the beach”

[cutecipher]

[kata4a]

Ye knowe eek, that in forme of speche is chaunge With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge Us thinketh hem; and yet they spake hem so, And spedde as wel in love as men now do.

chaucer, Troilus and Criseyde c. 1380

[youzicha]

glossary: eek also and even tho at the time prys great value wonder a cause for astonishment nyce stupid spedde succeeded

You know the form of language, too, can change. Within a thousand years, even the words that were most precious then, seem strange and foolish to us; yet they spoke them so and did no worse in love than we now do.

[mamgoo]

LOOK AT YOU！！！

[ryoki-ph]

on some level seeing this kinda thing is cathartic like. i dont think ive ever seen a piece of media that actually takes the anger of an autistic child seriously like this. its heavy but its also pretty refreshing

[yanguang]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[markadoo]

put out some water to boil then accidentally fell asleep and when i woke up there was a terrible smell and no water in the pot. so in a sense i succeeded at boiling water. perhaps more than i ever have

[golyadkin]

you'll get the urge as an artist or a writer to say out loud the things you're worried about "the proportions are off" "kind of out of character" "i'm not good at summaries" "didn't get as much detail as i wanted" "i made a mistake and here's how" and that's the self-conscious part of your brain telling you "it's bad and if you don't tell them you know it's bad then they'll think you're stupid" but you've got to ignore that little voice and pretend you think it's good or else that little voice is going to ruin your life

[incognito-insomniac]

Some of the best advice I have ever gotten was from a creative writing professor. She said never apologize for your work. Never critic it before someone else does.

Her reasoning was you are the creator. You made your work from nothing and can see all the flaws and seems and holes. But your audience may not see any of it. Maybe they will; maybe they won't. But if you TELL them about the holes and the mistakes and the problems....they will 100% see them. So don't tell them. Don't sabotage yourself just because you think you're not good enough.

[tripp-pants-sora]

time to break this out again