Kick the back of my seat like a child? Enjoy nose scum, you scum.
So today I was on a flight from Oakland, CA to Ontario, CA. Mind you, this is not a long flight. It’s usually about 45 minutes, so when most people are doing something annoying/ unacceptable on the flight, I can ignore it pretty well due to the short exposure.
Today however, I got a chance to pettily punish someone that I could not pass up.
This grown-ass man was sitting in the seat behind me, and even before we took off, he started bumping up against the back of my seat. I thought “he’s a tall guy, and must be uncomfortable, so I’ll give him like ten minutes to settle down.”
He constantly kicked the back of my seat for the entire flight. I know I should have turned around and told him to knock it off (gently, of course), but part of me was hoping that he would be a decent enough human to realize how horrible he was being. I’m not a confrontational person, and I’ll avoid social interaction with strangers if I can help it. So, I settled in and gritted my teeth.
Much to my disgust, he not only does not stop the kicking, he decides it’s ok to cram his smelly, unkempt man foot right up next to me, between my arm rest and the wall (I was in the window seat).
At this point, I think he must realize what he’s doing- he’s so very clearly violating my personal space. I wait patiently to move his foot, but of course, he just leaves it there.
So the pilot announces we were making our final descent into Ontario, and I had just about had it with the smell of this dude’s foot and his constant kicking.
In fact, the smell was so bad, it was kind of tickling my nose.
It tickled my nose enough to kind of make me have to sneeze.
Normally, I would have not done what happened next because it is uncalled for and wrong, but I had been listening to Eugene Mirman and his sardonic comedy kind of pushed me over the edge to “fuck it” level.
I sneezed on this dude’s nasty foot. I pretended I was covering my nose and mouth with my arm and turning my head away from the passenger to my left. Even though I apparently sneezed into the crook of my arm, In reality I missed it completely and most of my nose juice landed in his flip-flop clad foot.
Needless to say he immediately retracted his foot.
He couldn’t say shit to me, either. He didn’t bother to confront me, but if he had, I would have apologetically said I didn’t realize his foot was there. Between my window and my seat. So sorry.
TL,DR;; I sneezed on a man’s foot because he invaded my personal bubble on an airplane and would not stop kicking the back of my seat.
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