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@oneshykitten, remember when this happened in the back yard?
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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#extradirty

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@josephskelding
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@oneshykitten, remember when this happened in the back yard?
the feels
Source: YahBoyAang (twitter)
This is how archaeologists hunt
We couldnât find any bones so weâll just have to make some
Daddy vs baby dance-off. [source]
wholesome content
Wisdom.
for the @guardian review
I went to a clown hatchery in Madison today and oh my FUCKING god there must've been at least 10000 clowns there. it was incredible
the breeder told me he's been operational for 8 years now and djfjhd the new morphs he's working with are amazing with the regular white orange and snowflakes he's working with something that gives. them a blue tone they're gorgeous
I read this like 10 times before I realized you were probably talking about fish
PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY
HES A DOG
no you donât understand. People freak the fuck out if you donât enforce human gender roles on dogs. They get fucking belligerent. I work in a pet store and the number of times people have gotten LIVID with me for not just automatically assuming their dog not only required but personally wanted the most stringent enforcement of human gender norms is mindblowing.
People demand dog shampoos that smell âmasculineâ because âHeâs a boy he doesnât want to smell like flowersâ even though heâs a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! Thatâs the worst part! Thereâs enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well.
Or the seemingly nice old lady that shouted âPINK! OBVIOUSLY! SHEâS GIRL SHE HATES OTHER COLORS!â at me when i asked what color harness she wanted for her lapdog. Even though her dog canât actually see the color pink and does not now and will not ever give a single flying dog fart what color her harness is.
Even our pets have to deal with our gender socialization bullshit.
I work in a pet store. Can confirm. If I donât know the sex of the dog, and say, I pick up a blue lead to show the customer itâs different uses, Iâll get âwell sheâs a girl, soâ and Iâm like? Um? Iâm just showing you itâs functions, thereâs like 20 different colours here you can choose from?
And my manager wants us to separate boys coats/accessories and girl coats/accessories for accessibility for the customersâŚâŚ. likeâŚâŚ.?
??????? Theyâre dogs.
This. Is. BULLSHIT. Also, when I worked at a grooming salon, one groomer would bring in her familyâs dogs. Poms, the lot of them. They all got bows. Even the boy. He was a goddamn beautiful dog. Customers got mad. About a boy dog wearing bows. A boy dog THAT WAS NOT THEIR DOG wearing bows. Let that sink in.
Actually just like a week ago someone got testy with me because I put my female chihuahua in a blue polo shirt and they were like âsheâs a girl she looks like a boy in thatâ and I was just like⌠Sheâs a dog.
I am so tempted to put the biggest fucking pink bow I can find on my dog and parade him around the neighborhood.Â
Fuck this gender roles bullshit. Heâs a 12 year old dumbass who sometimes falls down the ONE (1) step on our porch because he gets too excited and forgets that he has back legs that donât work right (vet says itâs a degenerative nerve thing, common in older labs). HE WOULD GLADLY ROLL IN HIS OWN SHIT IF WE LET HIM - HE COULDNâT GIVE TWO FUCKS IF HE IS IN A BOW OR A BANDANA, I PROMISE.
My puppy wears bandanas sometimes, including a really cute pink one with white hearts that I love. One time this old lady at the park was absolutely BAFFLED that I would put a pink thing on my Boy Dog. Literally accused me of trying to confuse people, asked why Iâd put that on him. I was just??? Itâs cute and I like it the puppy really couldnât give less of a shit
My cat Duarte is male and he wears a pink collar with a tag that says âBeautiful Angel Princessâ on the side that doesnât have my contact info, because heâs my beautiful angel princess obv, and it throws the vet staff for a LOOP every time
People get upset when I walk boy dogs with my hot pink leash (because I lose leashes, so I like them highly visible. Like,
one, maybe this dog has Victorian gender norms, and considers pink very masculine? two: itâs not the dogâs leash, itâs mine.
People putting gender norms on house pets is wild. Theyâre just living cuddle bears they donât have gender.
The person who grooms our dog always puts little bows on his harness. Adorable.
OH NO, NUGGET! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. THATâS NOT M A N L Y, NUGGET!
OH NO HEâS WEARING AIRPODS HE CANâT HEAR ME OH NO!Â
Oh n o oh gfpd Iâm shahmking I m cr yjiing
i was so fucking angry reading this post and then you blessed me with nugget
I love those OTPâs that are like
I am fucking dying
iâve never heard such a good attenborough impression iâm rolling
Amazingly surreal Las Pozas in the rainforest by Xilitla in the Mexico mountains. Created by Edward James in the 40â˛s, it includes more than 80 acres of natural waterfalls and pools interlaced with towering surrealist sculptures and buildings. The many trails throughout the garden site are composed of steps, ramps, bridges and narrow, winding walkways that traverse the valley walls. It was supposed to be a âGarden of Edenâ containing a huge variety of plants and animals.Â
those look like elven ruins
okay what the fuck i am ENCHANTED
This dog was depressed for 2 years after his best friend died, but then this duck showed up
âHey friend sorry Iâm late, I reincarnated in a part of the world Iâm not familiar with so it took me a while to find you againâ
Iâm glad I wasnât the only one who thought that.
Cyberpunk 2077 (fan art)
I love kids theyâre all like.. âwhen i grow up iâm gonna be an astronaut and a chef and a doctor and an olympic swimmerâ like that self confidence! That drive! That optimism! Where does it go
It gets destroyed by adults not believing in you and telling you to pick a realistic career. And by society creating all these obstacles to the point that youâre too tired to try.
But theyâre not really unrealistic, SOMEBODY is going to be an olympic swimmer and it might as well be you.
Actually I want to talk about this a little more than I did, because olympic swimming is incredible and works perfectly to talk about attaining goals.
I used to be a varsity swimmer, and I was damn good, but I was forced into it by my parents and completely lost my love for it and therein my drive. But in high school I was swimming against such talented swimmers like Olympic Swimmer Missy Franklin. Iâve met her, and the main difference between her and me was that I was strong but had no passion, but she was strong BECAUSE she had passion.Â
And I could have been good, really good, maybe even Olympic good. I even have the predisposition for it, been swimming since I was 2 years old, have a mom who was almost an olympic swimmer. Missy didnât have either of those things, she just wanted it, loved it, had been doing it for a long time, and decided she was going to kick ass at it.
Right, thatâs great and all, but I completely missed my opportunity to be an olympic swimmer, yeah? and can never achieve those dreams I had as a kid? No, not even though. There was this whole thought that female athletes peak when theyâre 17 years old and lose their skills quickly after that, and male athletes peak around 19. But then Olympic Swimmer Dara Torres shows up. She was an olympic swimmer when she was 17, 21 and 25. Pretty normal age for retirement. She had a few kids. She kicked butt at being a mom.Â
And then at 33 years old she decides sheâs bored or something gets back in shape and kicks so much ass at the trials that she lands herself on the Olympic Team ONCE AGAIN. And then 8 years later, she decides, heck Iâm 41 now, no one has ever made the olympic swim team as old as I am, I want to get in shape yet again and teach these children how sports work.
And she still has the record for oldest US Olympic Swimmer, not even any men have beat out that record.
So basically what Iâm saying is you could be an olympic swimmer, you really could be. And there are obviously a lot of things stopping you and trying to get in your way: your brain, society, too much chocolate cake for example. But if you really dedicate yourself to it and love it with all of your heart you could, you really could.
And lets say olympic swimming isnât your jam? Thatâs cool too. There isnât a single skill in this world that you canât learn if you absolutely love it and want to. Any skill you want is going to take time. There are countless famous people who started learning a skill after 20, 30, 40, or even 50. Not a single person has even been president under age 35 (most likely because youâre not allowed to be, but thereâs a reason for that). Whatever you want to do youâre probably going to be bad at first, and Iâm talking really shitty.
Van Gogh got started in his 20â˛s and was thought to have no artistic talent at first and was forced to sit in the back of classrooms where the worst artists in the class sat. So yeah youâll probably be bad, like really bad and everyone including you will think youâre bad. If you stick with it though, if youâre willing to work for years and years, if you keep loving it after all the pain itâs given you,Â
then you might just paint Starry Night.
#looks like thereâs still time for me to learn how to draw ⌠YES. As someone who started drawing at 35 and who always was like: âeh, I canât draw a stick figure to save my life, but I would love to be able toâ this is near and dear to my heart. If you want to draw, start drawing. Keep drawing. Be shit at drawing at first. Keep it up, doodle things on scraps but also draw stuff you donât think you can draw. Challenge yourself, you will be surprised what you can do. It will be frustrating at times, but it will also be awesome. It is SO much a matter of practice and dedication, not talent.
This applies for writing, too. Â
Donât ever think for a second that it doesnât! Want to start writing? Then write! You will get better the more you write, the more often, and you will improve, all of the time, as long as you dedicate yourself. Â
The worst lie we tell ourselves is âitâs too late.â
itâs hilarious to me when people call historical fashions that men hated oppressive
like in BuzzFeedâs Women Wear Hoop Skirts For A Day While Being Exaggeratedly Bad At Doing Everything In Them video, one woman comments that sheâs being âoppressed by the patriarchy.â if youâve read anything Victorian man ever said about hoop skirts, you know thatâs pretty much the exact opposite of the truth
thing is, hoop skirts evolved as liberating garment for women. before them, to achieve roughly conical skirt fullness, they had to wear many layers of petticoats (some stiffened with horsehair braid or other kinds of cord). the cage crinoline made their outfits instantly lighter and easier to move in
it also enabled skirts to get waaaaay bigger. and, as you see in the late 1860s, 1870s, and mid-late 1880s, to take on even less natural shapes. we jokingly call bustles fake butts, but trust me- nobody saw them that way. it was just skirts doing weird, exciting Skirt Things that women had tons of fun with
men, obviously, loathed the whole affair
(1864)
(1850s. gods, if only crinolines were huge enough to keep men from getting too close)
(no date given, but also, this is 100% impossible)
(also undated, but the ruffles make me think 1850s)
it was also something that women of all social classes- maids and society ladies, enslaved women and free women of color -all wore at one point or another. interesting bit of unexpected equalization there
and when bustles came in, guess what? men hated those, too
(1880s)
(probably also 1880s? the ladies are being compared to beetles and snails. in case that was unclear)
(1870s, I think? the bustle itself looks early 1870s but the tight fit of the actual gown looks later)
hoops and bustles werenât tools of the patriarchy. they were items 1 and 2 on the 19th centuryâs âFashion Trends Women Love That Men Hateâ lists, with bonus built-in personal space enforcement
Gonna add something as someone whoâs worn a lot of period stuff for theatre:
The reason you suck at doing things in a hoop skirt is because youâre not used to doing things in a hoop skirt.
The first time I got in a Colonial-aristocracy dress I felt like I couldnât breathe. The construction didnât actually allow me to raise my arms all the way over my head (yes, thatâs period-accurate). We had one dresser to every two women, because the only things we could put on ourselves were our tights, shifts, and first crinoline. Someone else had to lace our corsets, slip on our extra crinolines, hold our arms to balance us while a second person actually put the dresses on us like we were dolls, and do up our shoesâwhich we could not put on ourselves because we needed to be able to balance when the dress went on. My entire costume was almost 40 pounds (I should mention here that many of the dresses were made entirely of upholstery fabric), and I actually did not have the biggest dress in the show.
We wore our costumes for two weeks of rehearsal, which is quite a lot in university theatre. The first night we were all in dress, most of the ladies went propless because we were holding up our skirts to try and get a feel for both balance and where our feet were in comparison to where it looked like they should be. I actually fell off the stage.
By opening night? We were square-dancing in the damn things. We had one scene where our leading man needed to whistle, but he didnât know how and I was the only one in the cast loud enough to be heard whistling from under the stage, so I was also commando-crawling underneath him at full speed trying to match his stage positionâwhile still in the dress. And petticoats. And corset. Someone took my shoes off for that scene so I could use my toes to propel myself and I laid on a sheet so I wouldnât get the dress dirty, but that was itâI was going full Solid Snake in a space about 18âł high, wearing a dress that covered me from collarbones to floor and weighed as much as a five-year-old child. And it worked beautifully.
These women knew how to wear these clothes. Itâs a lot less ârestrictiveâ when itâs old hat.
I have worn hoop skirts a lot, especially in summer. I still wear hoop skirts if Iâm going to be at an event where I will probably be under stage lights. (For example, Vampire Ball.)
I can ride public transportation while wearing them. I can take a taxi while wearing them. I can go on rides at Disneyland while wearing them. Because Iâve practiced wearing them and twisting the rigid-but-flexible skirt bones so I can sit on them and not buffet other people with my skirts.Â
Hoop skirts are awesome.
Hoop skirts are a fucking godsend in summer. Nothingâs touching your legs. Itâs like wearing a big box underneath whic youâre naked, temperature wise.
Did this with a bustle rather than a hoop skirt, but was quite comfortable running around in said bustle, shirt, full corset, gloves, and overskirt in 117 degrees for a con. It was far more comfortable than the more modern dress i wore the next day.
Writer Note: this is fascinating research information not restricted to just the Victorian era under discussion. Though itâs stating the obvious, the obvious often needs to be stated: when seemingly-awkward garments like crinolines and hoop-skirts (or ruffs, or houppelandes, or etc.) were everyday wear, the wearers knew how to move in them because of practice.
For instance, how not to clear a table with a gesture while wearing sleeves like theseâŚ
Fashionable footwear has been weird for centuries. Think of chopines, pattens, poulaines, non-fetishy-y high heels, or platform boots worn with bell-bottom jeans so long and wide that without the platforms they trailed along the ground. The 1970s is called âthe decade that style forgotâ for good reason.
Elton Johnâs stage platforms arenât as exaggerated as you thinkâŚ
And then there are the doeskin breeches claimed in some fiction as fitting so tightly the inside had to be soaped to get them on, going commando was compulsory, and the wearer couldnât sit down.
Youâd certainly believe it from portraits like this one, âHunter in a Landscape with his Dogsâ, said to be General Thomas-Alexandre Dumas, father of Alexandre Dumas the novelist, with legs apparently clad in just a thick coat of paint. (X-skin breeches would seem more suitable for hunting, but these may represent cotton âinexpressiblesâ which really did fit like that.)
Like the supposed problems with crinolines etc., not true. Research and reconstruction has shown that doe / buck / sheepskin breeches have natural stretch and recovery; a common comparison is to old, well-worn jeans. Of course the artist also wanted to show that his subject âhad a good legâ (look up âartificial calvesâ and be amused) and wasnât letting realism get in the way of doing so.
This is a bit more like it.
Nowadays âdeportmentâ seems to have an aura of outdated snobbishness - upper-class debutantes learning to curtsey, or walk with books balanced on their heads - but âporteâ in French means âcarryâ and the old meaning of deportment was âhow to carry yourselfâ; how to move properly, without inconveniencing yourself or others.
Various historical-costume books point out that âmoving properlyâ in some periods - memory suggests the court of Louis XIV at Versailles was one - meant a sequence of artificial, prescribed gestures, partly enforced by the clothing and partly by court protocol. IIRC one description was of âmovements as precisely delineated as the steps of a formal danceâ, and getting them wrong resulted in social mockery.
Elizabethan men were taught, as part of their deportment, how to move while wearing the long rapiers of the period; that hand-on-hilt stance in portraits isnât drama, itâs control.
Once familiar with the length of the sword, they know exactly what shifting the hilt one way or another will do to the rest of it - and the people, furniture and crockery behind them - without needing to look. IIRC the technique is still taught to actors today.
Crinolines, bustles, bloomers, breeches, inexpressibles and all the rest were clothing; after reading about peculiar but oh-so-stylish ways of standing and moving like the âGrecian bendâ and âAlexandra limpâ, the Kinkâs satirical 1960s hit âDedicated Follower of Fashionâ isnât just a song any moreâŚ
:->