God, when did Man lose his reason?

It all started out so innocently, too

[nylarac]

[tsunderrated]

[deceasedcardinal]

[glitchlight]

The Nasdaq were a collection of economic spirits venerated the middle to end United States imperial wealth cults. Economic spirits, referred to as "stocks" (/stɑks/) in the obscure dialect of French spoken in the United States, were categorized into one of several "exchanges" ( /ɛksˈt͡ʃeɪnd͡ʒ/) based upon perceived impact and power. The Nasdaq are believed to have been held in higher esteem than other contemporaneously worshipped exchanges in the Dao and the Nysse. Shamans of the imperial wealth cults ("brokers" /ˈbɹoʊkɚ/) were known to sacrifice offerings ("layoffs") to the Nasdaq in hopes of receiving material and spiritual rewards from the supreme deity of the United States, The Free Market. Brokers were often known to interpret omens of the day by questioning the effect of such omens on the stocks.

[notlikingbestgirl]

Out of Touch

[hustlerose]

Out of Touch Thursday

[arbyscurlyfries666-deactivated2]

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

[snuv]

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

[rockmilkshake]

happy birthday.

[saltwatersweets]

this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this

[dragon-in-a-fez]

captain afab is honestly a very relatable character because whomst among us does not have some great beast that has eluded us all our lives. mine, for instance, is a decent night's sleep.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Ahab. I meant fucking. captain Ahab.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

y'all are gonna make this a whole thing aren't you

[dragon-in-a-fez]

top 5 things people have said in the tags on this so far:

moby girldick

I mean, he is chasing dick

the real white whale was testosterone

assigned whaler at birth

captain afab and his trusty crewman cismale

[miseria-fortes-viros]

yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i don’t think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like “im going to invent a way for humans to fly”. shout out to my dad he’s a real one fr

[miseria-fortes-viros]

LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my back…..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the king’s archers. soo

[miseria-fortes-viros]

HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it’s so beautiful up here

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i don’t like seeing the ground. i’m going higher

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it’s cold and i can’t see anything. not sure if that’s better or worse

[miseria-fortes-viros]

by zeus….what is that thing…….it’s as bright as the sun and twice as warm

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the gods look truly down on me this day…apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i don’t understand why but he’s coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?

[miseria-fortes-viros]

oh. i am in his path

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it’s so hot…was it this hard to fly before? maybe i’m tired

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the wax

[miseria-fortes-viros]

he really does look like the sun…the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him

[miseria-fortes-viros]

his skin burns. i cannot hold on

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i slip through his fingers.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i wonder if he cried for me

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i have not seen my father since we took flight…i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i am not afraid

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid

[miseria-fortes-viros]

please please please please please pleaseplease

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing

[miseria-fortes-viros]

please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease

[miseria-fortes-viros]

I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N

[vacuously-true]

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

[nudityandnerdery]

[southfarthing]

[pollsforadults]

You get transported into the universe of the last media you consumed. How are you doing?

This is better than my real life

I'm doing well

I'm doing fine

I'm not having a good time

I'm absolutely cooked

There is nothing different about this universe and my own

Voting ended onMay 29

[frontmansdefender]

RIP to the legend

[silvermoon424]

This goose fucking rocks and had a crazy life!

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.

Before and after his death, Thomas has been celebrated as an icon of the LGBTQ+ community for obvious reasons.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"

DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

do you think these people can read

[phoenix]

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

[whump-polls]

spin the whump trope wheel

opinion on the trope you got?

love it, a favorite

like it

neutral, depends

not really my thing

hate it

nuance

results

Voting ended onJun 1

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

Babe we NEED pics of your rubber cuck collection

so actually ☝what i collect is DUCKS

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

If my previous ask said fucks instead of ducks I'm really sorry I'm high as balls on edibles and sleep deprivation

worse <3

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

to briefly revisit my decade old Labyrinth hyperfixation, I think it would be neat if Sarah grows up, has a teenage daughter who finds her book and while in a pissy mood wishes goblins would take her mother away

just imagining Sarah freaking the fuck out, taking the extremely limited amount of time she knows she has left to load up her confused daughter with all of the iron jewellery she never usually takes off, peppering her with instructions not to eat ANY of the food and vague warnings about illusions in the walls

and then suddenly before she knows it her mother is just gone, and she's being told by a strange glittery man that she must begin her own journey through the Labyrinth to find her mother

the funniest part however would be Jareth finishing his spiel to the daughter and returning to his castle to properly greet his new hostage with no fucking clue who he just snatched, and finds to his surprise and horror a Too Old For This Shit Sarah absolutely rampaging through the halls threatening to tear down his entire world all over again if he doesn't take her back to her daughter right the fuck now

I can't decide which is funnier, the tale ending with Jareth lobbing Sarah at her daughter before she even gets one foot into the Labyrinth and fucks them off home immediately, or the daughter completing her shockingly easy journey through the Labyrinth only to find her mother sitting in the king's throne with a dazed Jareth under her heel and terrified goblins waiting on her hand and foot

[tobiasdrake]

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

[sleepy-seal]

im being so serious when i say this but we need to bring back the "my genitals are none of your business" "if gender is whats in my pants then my gender is some loose change" mentality from the late 2010's because too many people on here are openly flirting with exclusionary people who spout enbyphobic rhetoric. stop caring about what people's agabs are you assholes. they literally mean nothing. they're not a zodiac sign or indicative of people's character. you are not wholly pure or wholly evil because of your assigned sex. you're just a person.

[ash-and-art]

"what genitals do you have?" Is sexual harassment regardless if its from a security guard or a chronically online furry

[scifinut]

if i wanted you to know what genitals i had, i wouldn't be wearing clothes. but then we're into a very different issue.

[willgrahamscock]

do you read fanfic for a fandom you haven't engaged with otherwise?

no and I wouldn't

no but I'd try

yes and I liked it

yes but it's not for me

I don't think ppl should read fanfic without understanding the source material

Walter White

Voting ended onMay 27

just stumbled across a video of someone asking for fic recs and when asked what fandom they replied 'any' and my mind short circuited, pls add your thoughts in the tags