I'm a mid 20s transmasc queer guy finding my spirituality mainly centered around and inspired by various Hindu practices and philosophies, but I don't hold strictly to any philosophy or belief. I'm an omnist and believe all faiths contain truth and that God meets each person where they are with endless love and compassion.
My spiritual journey has been long and my faith and practice is eclectic and personal. I see God in many places.
This blog is intended as a space for me to explore and express my spirituality in various ways.
I'm not a born Hindu. I started my journey a few years ago as a devotee of Shiva; now, I find myself mainly drawn to God in the symbolic form of Narayana, but also explore devotion to Krishna, Shiva and the formless Supreme and perhaps others; to me, God is One and the gods are symbolic forms rather than literal, but no experience of them is wrong.
I have zero tolerance towards bigotry of any kind.
In my journey with Hinduism, I've gone from worshipping Lord Shiva only, to now almost exclusively worshipping Lord Vishnu with special nods to His form as Lord Krishna.
I still feel immense love for Lord Shiva when I think of Him and listen to His bhajans, but He isn't who pulls me in these days. When I think of it, there's a part of me that likes to think perhaps He intended it so.
Initially, I was almost scared of Lord Vishnu and His forms - scared of offending Him, of being too tamasic and not sattvic, of not being accepted or wanted by Him. I always felt drawn in by Him, by His radiance and beauty, and in many ways I felt more aligned with Him than with the asceticism of Shiva, but I felt unworthy. Lord Shiva was a figure with whom I could connect without those concerns. And Lord Shiva taught me spiritual self-reliance, spiritual confidence, spiritual freedom. Over time, He broke down my notions of "unworthy, impure, unwanted". He taught me that God is beyond any ideas of purity or impurity, that He is not locked behind some spiritual paywall which one can only pass through at a certain level of purity. He was exactly what I needed to grow, and without Him I would probably still be stuck in a mindset of anxiety, self-doubt and unworthiness.
Now, I approach my Lord as Narayana without fear and with complete faith in His love. Truly, there is no difference between Shankara and Narayana. They are one and the same, and what pleases one pleases the other. I have come to Hari through Hara, and yet Hara has never left me.
My Lord is the Supreme Brahman who is Harihara, who takes on the forms of Rama and Krishna and captures the hearts of millions, who holds every soul as the Divine Mother Shakti and protects all beings with the Vel of Murugan, whose elephant-headed form offers guidance to all as Ganesha and whose radiant form as Surya brings light and life to the world. His forms are infinite and His love is boundless and I am forever grateful to Him.
Lord Narayana, please bestow Your grace on the souls of this world. Please give peace to those who are in turmoil. Please give rest to those who are tired and comfort to those who are scared. Let kindness and compassion overtake us and let us shun selfishness and hatred. Help us to resist the injustice within ourselves and in this world and to do good wherever we can. Lead us out of the darkness of ignorance and into the light of understanding.
You gave birth to this world when the lotus bloomed from Your navel, and in time You will bring this world to an end and create it all again. There is nothing but You. All is Yours, and all returns to You. You are our only refuge and we seek shelter at Your feet, O Narayana. Please bestow Your mercy upon us 💙
Om namo Narayanaya, om namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya, om Hari om 🙏💙
Since the moment He came to me, with a gentleness and kindness that still makes me marvel, He has stayed with me, and He has never left me even for a second, even when I go elsewhere, which I often do. He just takes a step back and watches me from afar, like a parent letting their child journey out into the world. Every time I come home, even if just for a minute, He welcomes me with open arms and a warm embrace.
Baba, I love you always 💙 You are my guru, and no one has taught me as much on this journey as You 🙏
Jai Bholenath 💙 Jai Shiva Shambhu 💙 Jai Shri Mahakaal 💙
As we enter into Ramadan and Lent, may this be a time for souls to heal and communities to come together in compassion and kindness.
May believers everywhere renew their spirit with love and mercy by the example of Christ and the light of God, and may we all find strength to walk the path of God and be a light in these tumultuous times.
Something that I've been pondering a lot during japa lately is the symbolic meaning behind the dark skin of Hari. In every form, His skin is dark or blue. I don't know whether this is something commonly understood, but I find it deeply meaningful that He symbolically has the color of a dark rain cloud. A cloud that is ready to let loose the floods, not of rain, but of unbridled love and mercy. His grace pours on the world like an unceasing torrent. Everyone is drowning, not in dark and terrible waters, but in a sea of Divine light. The love He holds for every single soul is so immense it's unfathomable. His form is not physical to me, not literal, not something that ever walked the Earth or any celestial realm, it's a way to describe the indescribable through symbolism and imagery.
May the Lord who enchants the heart of all beings be a source of peace and compassion for all.
