joy

[joyxjoyxjoy]

’stop looking at me with those eyes’

my eyes are filled with a level of devotion only felt by sinners who turned to religion

[syrenki]

there is something within me that i would like removed

[milkandvoid]

[joyxjoyxjoy]

i saw someone else say this, but i think its truly interesting how much the human person wishes to be remembered.

sure you can hate people and social interactions, but i bet you have some form of your self expression for the world to see, wether it be a sketch book full of unfinished artworks, a blog of random thoughts, or a tiktok of reposts about nothing in particular, you want to be perceived.

maybe not perceived as you physically, but you want someone to understand, to peel back the layers of yourself like an onion and understand you to the fullest degree, you want someone someday to take a look at you and feel something. to look at finished art works of yours get something out of it anything. someone to resonate.

sure you can say you do this for yourself but why is the stage set if bot for the curtain to pull back? if you dont want any form of memory to survive why do you try?

why put graffiti in a bathroom if not for someone to look at it and wonder about you? this goes back all of our existence, our first documented art is of our own hands. and that perfectly explains it for me, to be remembered in a way that matters, before pretty much anything, what did we have?

our hands, fire, the animals, and thats what we drew and carved, to pass time, to be remembered, for fun whatever.

but im sure there was a thought of who will find it later, when we pass

[littlemissihaveaquestion]

Reminder that spring will always come back, music will never stop being created, and there are still so many books left to read! You’re alive! You’re alive! You’re alive!

[joyxjoyxjoy]

youre not unlovable you just need to eat

so god when youre there please let me breath

drink some water, o child of mine

let the sadness drift, let time take its time

[lazeylily]

you understand that there's nothing wrong with wanting people to pay attention to you, right? it's not intrinsically evil, you are allowed to want to be seen. you can do it in soft and nice and good ways, but you don't even have to. you can just want to be seen.

[lazeylily]

if you respond to sincerity with "ironic" deflection, people will learn that they can't be sincere with you. do you want people to be sincere with you? you have to be sincere with people.

if you want to be loved, don't play hard to get, make the act of loving you feel good. if you liked it, just say thank you. being embarrassed is cute.

[joyxjoyxjoy]

10 pm thoughts

Why am I unlovable? / My friends say im a good person / Why did i do that / Am i good person? / What did i do to deserve looking like this / Maybe id be better off dead / Im too much arent i / Not enough of the right things / Do they care? / Why does every person i love never seem to care / My heart fills my throat and my lungs cut out / But nobody cares so it doesnt matter / Am i a bad person for thinking like that / Please dont hate me / Youre the only reason im alive / Im sorry for being like this / Why cant i just be whole again

[joyxjoyxjoy]

not orpheus, nor eurydice

otherwise i dont know

if the journey is difficult 

i just know

if you walked me

you wouldnt look back

not of love, nor of hate

mediocrity is our greatest feat

so when two lost souls meet

only one really would look

and love isnt a word my mouth forms

[joyxjoyxjoy]

i almost died i think

my breath falling over

ragged breaths i take now and forevermore

tension in my shoulders

a tenderness on my scalp

my hand hurts

i think my sould does too

all the others dont seem to fade

but i miss you, mother