Welcome to Jeremy Renner Frustration! I hope you enjoy your stay. ;) Submissions are very welcome. Everything on this blog is fictional in content and does not represent the real Jeremy Renner or anyone else included within. All characters belong to their...
I’m so sorry for the lack of activity. Basically, we’re down to one mod, which is okay!!! things happen, but this one mod has started school up again and now works part time, and had to deal with some very brutal happenings in their personal life so time has been stretched a bit thin. I do apologize for the inactivity and im working back to getting this blog up and running again. I just need some time to stop being frazzled and busy. I’m so, so sorry! Honestly. I love you all, thank you for your patience.
edit: ok i see someone has also gotten on, GOOD. I need to check my messages before I get on here. I’m such a dumb dumb. But YAY ok we will be back soon. BYE BYe <3
You’ve got a new mod here. Unfortunately, I am going to be on vacation until Monday the 12th. So, I won’t be able to start posting until then, but I wanted everyone to know that we will be back online soon. Until then here is a picture of Renner with his Jem haircut. Yum!
Thanks to jeremyloverobsessedmoi from whom I borrowed this photo.
Yayyy! Stories 😊 I hope you're alright; we missed you already, posting new stuff
Yes, we apologize about the wait! Work and School has gotten in the way of things but I’m doing my best to keep this place updated! Thank you for your patience. <3
Characters: Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff (mentions of Loki Laufeyson)
Chapter N°/One Shot: Chapter Fic
Author’s Note/Summary: One Shot that turned out to become a little Chapter Fic. The story sets place in the future, somewhere around Avengers: Age of Ultron, Thor: Ragnarok and Captain America: Civil War.
This stoey deals with the past - Clint Barton still struggles with his inner demons from the time Loki played with his mind.
You can also read it on AO3.
Part One
Somewhere in a fluffy bed, on a farm at the end of Iowa, a blonde man looked over at the beauty beside him. Her red curls splayed all over a pillow, her arms crossed underneath it. She smiled in her sleep as if she knew he was watching her.
He still couldn’t believe his luck, here on the farm he grew up on, the farm that once belonged his parents. He could live the life he always dreamed of since Barney and him had run away after their parents’ death [...].
Keep reading
Part Two
Clint groaned when he rolled out of bed the next morning, and staggered immediately when he tried to walk. Last night had introduced him to some… interesting positions. He might be athletic, but there were some muscle groups that being an archer didn’t really necessitate exercising. When he looked back at the bed he was surprised to see the other half empty, the threadbare pillow propped up against the headboard. A glance at the clock told him it was almost six. Nearly time for sunrise.
A loud shout from outside startled him, and he instinctively grabbed for the box beneath his bed. He’d barely gotten the latch open when he realized the hollering was actually words, muffled by the distance but still recognizable as Natasha’s [...].
TITLE: Rules
AUTHOR: shipperstoriesstuff
CHARACTERS: AU Business!Clint Barton & Natasha Romanoff
GENRE: Comedy, Romance, Erotica
FIC SUMMARY: Clint Barton pretends to be the bad boy – as per usual. Will he succeed when it comes to a woman that takes his breath, but also his chance of a promotion, away?
RATING: Mature
AUTHORS NOTES/WARNINGS: Another part of the “Clintasha Moments” series. Clint Barton is the perfect asshole. I wanted to write a bad boy fic a little while ago (actually with another character, but this really and only suits him) and took the opportunity to try my luck and scribble it down now. It involves some swearing, touching, dirty talking, etc. Here, Barton smokes, drinks and likes getting all grabby hands when it comes to women. But maybe not this time. Dedicated to my best friend and sister in mind, Kylie.
You can find more of my 'Clintasha Moments' here.
The thing is, neither of them wants to admit it.
She’s the big boss now, he often says, the bitch, the girl who thinks she’s the queen of the office and probably the world. She’s the fiery redhead that pisses him off with those extra-long working shifts, which she keeps wanting to sign him up for and – he throws his arms in the air as he says it – what the fuck is she thinking?
Okay, so they’re kind of a team, somehow, but that means they not only do the things together, but also plan them, right?
Author’s Note: Rated R for language, mentions of sexual content and medical content.
[ 3,876 words ]
Samara woke gently, smiling at the heat in the room due to the pile of bodies in her bed. Flynn was on her chest, sleeping sound, plump cheeks pushing up since he was sleeping on his stomach with his face in her chest. Devani was curled in her left arm, and Samara couldn’t help but smile when she noticed her daughter was holding her brother’s hand.
“Hey there, welcome back to the land of the living.” Jeremy chuckled, entering the bedroom. “Did you have a good nap?”
“I really did.” She nodded with a smile. “My babies.”
“Refused to leave Momma. Same goes for Milo.” He grinned, gesturing to the big, lazy black lab to the left of Devani. He sat on the edge of the bed and nuzzled Milo’s face with a smile.
“You should take him some days, I know he misses you.”
“I’d much rather have this big guy protecting you at the house than with me.” Jeremy replied.
“I have a house alarm system—”
“It just…it comforts me.” He sighed, patting Milo’s back. “You’re a good boy. Remember when you protected Mommy from that mugger? Huh? Do ya boy?” Milo’s tail began wagging wildly and he licked Jeremy’s face. “Good boy.”
Flynn lifted his head and Samara brushed some hair out of his eyes. “Hello baby boy. You’re awake.”
“Momma,” He grinned.
“Oh, baby. I love you so much. My handsome man.”
“D’ani,” Flynn muttered, patting his sister’s hand. He had yet to learn to say Devani’s name in full.
“No Flynn.” She replied, giving her brother a pouting face.
“You woke her up, Flynn.” Jeremy chuckled.
“Sorry,” Flynn said, leaning over and kissing the top of Devani’s head.
“You’re such a good brother, baby.” Samara kissed Flynn’s cheek and sat up a bit. Jeremy’s phone began buzzing in his pocket and he fished it out, answering it quickly.
“Hey babe. Hold on a minute.” He stood up, “I’m gonna take this, you wanna do something tonight for dinner?”
“Sure.” She nodded. Samara was in a lazy mood. Jeremy got to sleep in with the kids while she went off to set early and came home about two hours ago. Now, it was 3pm and the nap she had did some good for her body. The babies began playing with each other, laughing and shoving each other playfully. Samara got herself out of bed and stretched, peering at her ever growing belly.
“Mommy, look how tall.” Flynn said, pressing himself against the wall and placing his hand on his head.
“Oh my gosh, you’re so tall! You’re gonna be way taller than Mommy and Daddy very soon.” She smiled. Jeremy was on her balcony, smoking a cigarette, talking enthusiastically on the phone. “Where do you wanna go for dinner, babies?”
“French fries and chicken.” Devani said, plopping down on the living room floor and rubbing Milo’s belly.
“Okay, we’ll look for that.” She laughed, but her eyes kept going to Jeremy. During one of her sneak-looks, he caught eye contact and hung up, heading inside.
“Hey, you okay?” He inquired.
“I’m fine, just wakin’ up slowly.” She smiled. “How’s um…Brit?”
“Good.” He nodded. “Well, we got a couple hours to kill before dinner. What do you wanna do?” Devani patted Jeremy’s thigh and pointed to her lips. “What do you need, baby girl? Remember what Daddy said? Use your words.”
“Ba-ba.” She replied, sucking her thumb.
“Sam, do you have one?”
“Top drawer in the kitchen. Run it under the disinfectant next to the sink please.” She leaned over and pressed kisses to Flynn’s forehead. The little boy giggled and tangled his fingers in his mother’s hair. Once the task was done, he handed Devani the pacifier and gave Samara a smile.
“How’s Bob? When does he come back?”
“Oh, he’s back.”
“Oh.” He said in surprise with his eyebrows raised. “I’d uh, I’d like to meet him.”
“Hey, babies, wanna go into the other room and watch some cartoons?” Samara asked her twins, and Jeremy’s heart crumbled. Something happened. He should have known. Once the twins were gone, she sighed and clasped her hands in her lap as she sat across from Jeremy. “Um, that night where you took the kids to the aquarium downtown while I was on set…”
“Yeah,”
“Well, it was Bob’s last day on set because he has to get back to Vancouver to film his show. He asked me to move to Australia with him because he has to help his mom out for a bit. It’d be a year or so.” She said, and Jeremy sighed.
“Okay, well…I mean, I could…It’d be easy. I could move back to LA. It’s a fourteen hour flight, I mean, if you don’t mind making our custody arrangement to every three weeks.”
“Jeremy, no, I—”
“Also, it’s just a year. Sydney is a beautiful place.” He shrugged. “Might make everything easier if I just moved along with you.”
“He told me it could be a new start, y’know, especially with the baby. He’d want to um, he’d want to marry me. He gave me a ring.”
Jeremy went quiet, and gave her a short nod, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “So you’re…engaged? You’re getting married,”
“I…”
His eyes fell to her ring finger, noticing it was empty. “I’ll support you in whatever decision you make.”
“He wants to get married and he wants the baby to have his last name,”
“That’s not his kid, and it ain’t like I’m not in the picture. That can’t happen,”
“I know, that’s why I told him I can’t move to Australia, and I can’t marry him. So, we…split up.” She shrugged, tears filling her eyes. “It was a good thing and…I couldn’t make it better.”
“Sam, it’s not your fault for saying no to things you’re not ready for. At least you don’t have to see him before the premiere and that’s in what, a month and a half?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, wiping her tears away. “Thanks for listening.”
“My therapist said that sitting down and having these little talks with you might help us with the divorce, make us communicate better.”
“You’re seeing someone?”
“Yeah, since the moment we filed for separation. We talk about a lot, me, you, my parents and their multiple divorces. Keepin’ up with the family tradition I suppose.”
“I’m sorry, Jer.”
“Not your fault.” He smiled sadly, squeezing her hand. “It’s been what, three—almost four months? Look how good we’re doing.” Flynn came running into the room and catapulted himself into Jeremy’s arms. The actor grinned and hugged his son tight. “Hey buddy, what’s up?”
“I love you Daddy,”
“I love you too. Oh man, this is such a good hug. Where’s your sister?”
“Over d’er.” He pointed into the room in which the twins slept, and were supposed to be watching television while their parents chatted.
“Go hang out with her so Mommy and Daddy can finish talking.” Jeremy said, patting his back and watching with a smile as the boy ran off. Toddlers were so ridiculous.
“Okay,” The little boy nodded, and gave Jeremy and Samara little kisses before leaving.
“I love him so much, oh my gosh.” Samara grinned.
“Both of them are really starting to look like you.” Jeremy mentioned. “When they were first born there was no mistaking they were my kids but now I’m startin’ to think you made them all on your own.”
“Oh no, we know that you helped. You helped a lot.”
Jeremy stared off with a coy smile, shaking his head with a deep chuckle. “Jesus, we were fucking like multiple times a day, every day.”
“Sometimes I forgot we were trying to make a baby. It was just fun.”
“Now we got that little bean,” Jeremy gestured to her stomach. Samara placed her hand on it, smiling faintly. “I remember being so angry with you that I didn’t want this baby.” She confessed, and Jeremy got up and sat next to her, placing his hand over hers on her stomach. “I wanted to ask you what…if you wanted to keep it or not, but I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want it.”
Samara nodded, “I understand.”
“It’s um, actually, it’s funny that you mention all this.”
“Why?”
“When Brittany called earlier, when we talked on the phone, she broke up with me.”
“What? Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” He nodded. “I mean, it wasn’t super-duper serious, but…I dunno. I guess her ex wanted to work things out with her.” Jeremy shrugged and drummed his fingers against his knees. “It’s alright, I’m not too upset.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed. “We’re unlovable and doing to die alone.”
“Well I dunno about that.” Jeremy laughed. “Maybe you, but me, I’m gorgeous. I’ll have like, twenty-eight wives.”
“That sounds reasonable.” They both laughed, and Jeremy wiped happy tears from his eyes. “You’re the best soon-to-be ex-husband I’ve ever had.”
“Well, thanks. I’d like that on my gravestone. Here lies Jeremy Lee Renner, son, father, and best soon to be ex-husband in history.”
Both of their children came running out of the room, laughing and chasing each other until Devani found a safe haven in her father’s arms and Flynn jumped up onto the couch. “Mommy, let’s go!” Flynn begged. “I wanna go.”
“You wanna go?” She asked. “Alright, let’s get you guys dressed. We can walk around downtown until dinner time if Daddy doesn’t mind.”
“That sounds great.”
It didn’t take long for the kids to get dressed. Funny enough, when they were super excited to go somewhere, they sat down patiently and got all their things on. When they didn’t want to go somewhere, they kicked, screamed and ran around in an attempt to prevent their parents from getting them ready.
It was nice being in this area. They weren’t followed by paparazzi and when pictures did get out of them, it was just fans, not people being paid for the photo. Of course, some people wanted pictures, and Samara laughed uncomfortably when people said things like, ‘your relationship is so cute!’ because yeah, it was cute, but it was also over. Jeremy had to take a phone call, so Samara spent her time feeding ducks with the twins and admiring how beautiful her children were.
“Hey guys, sorry about that. I made a reservation at a barbecue joint down the street. We got about three hours to kill.”
“Wanna see a movie, babies?”
“Yes!” They shouted in unison, and Samara found a kids movie that had been released the previous week. It was some 3D film with bright colors and cartoon characters with high pitched voices. It would keep them entertained for the next couple hours. The theater was pretty much empty due to it being the middle of the day, so Samara was able to place the twins in the pair of seats in front of them, while she and Jeremy sat directly behind them.
“Everything okay?” She whispered as the previews began playing.
“Hm?” Jeremy questioned.
“The phone call.”
“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine. Just my Mom asking about something for the house in LA.” He told her and Samara smiled with a nod. “Don’t worry about me, Sam.”
Samara leaned back and smiled at her kids talking about the movie. Half way through, Devani got a little clingy and began to whine. Jeremy leaned forward and plucked her from the row in front of him and placed her in his lap. She began sucking her thumb so he retrieved her pacifier and let her lean against his chest. Soon enough, Samara had to get up and grab Flynn to do the same. She kissed his head and stared down at him with a smile. “I love you baby boy,”
“Mommy,” He hummed, gripping a lock of her hair. “Mommy, look.” He pointed at one of the cartoon characters and Samara nodded with a smile.
“He’s funny looking, huh?”
“Funny,” Flynn laughed.
Devani was asleep by the end of the film and Flynn was just about there, so Samara and Jeremy took a walk through a local park in their stroller for thirty minutes before it was time to head over for their reservation.
“Hi, we have a reservation at 6 under Lee.” Jeremy told the hostess.
“Perfect. We got a table with two high chairs set up for you over here.” They were seated and the twins began coloring while she and Jeremy looked over the menu to figure out what to get them.
“Mac ‘n’ cheese always works.” She smiled. “Or the chicken.”
“Let’s go with the chicken.” Jeremy said. “Babies, you want some BBQ chicken?”
“Yes,” They said in unison.
Samara brushed Devani’s hair out of her eyes and kissed the top of her head. “Hello beautiful.”
“Mommy, no, I coloring.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Samara laughed. Jeremy ordered some appetizers while Samara watched her kids color, and when he leaned forward it caught her attention.
“You feelin’ alright?” He questioned.
“Just fine, thank you.” She said with a happy smile. “I just really want some ribs.”
“We’ll get you some ribs, Sama. I promise.” He chuckled.
Her phone buzzed and she lifted it, spotting a text from Johnathan: hey, pix of you and Jeremy out and about are online. Fan photos. Want me to get them taken down?
“Some fans are posting pictures of us online.” Samara told him. Jeremy shrugged. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Samara texted back. “Johnathan’s really anal about protecting our privacy during this time.” She murmured, repeating what Johnathan had told her during their meeting a few days after she filed for separation. “He did say he was proud of us for staying friends, or whatever this is.”
“It’s a friendship.” He said with a gentle smile and a slight nod. “We’re friends. Right?”
“I feel like it’s a little hard to be friends when we’ve done the things we’ve done.”
“Oh,” He nodded, leaning back. “Like in Cabo. Night four?”
“Oh, night four. That was an interesting little film we found. I don’t know why we thought we could recreate it.”
“We’re both very competitive people, Sam.” He grinned. “Jesus. We had a good time.”
“We did.” Samara stared off for a bit with a fond smile, until her train of thought was interrupted by the waitress setting down their appetizer of chicken kabobs. Samara pulled some meat off a stick and put them both in front of the twins so they could snack on it.
“Mommy, I want Mac ‘n’ Cheese.” Flynn told her.
“Oh okay, baby.”
“Me too.”
“Well, there goes the chicken idea.” She laughed. They all ordered their meals and Jeremy absentmindedly played with Samara’s hand. He still had a pale ring around his left ring finger from his wedding ring. It should have been gone by now…which most likely meant that he put the ring back on at some point. Samara’s cell phone began vibrating against the table and she pulled her hand away.
Bob M. Calling…
She sighed. “One second.” Samara got up from the table and headed out onto the patio. Despite it being a beautiful day, there was a bit of a cold wind so no one was seated outside, which meant she got some privacy. “Hello?”
“Hey,”
“Hi, what’s up?”
“That quick, huh?”
“What?”
“We break up and you’re already back with him?”
“What do you mean?”
“Sam, there’s pictures of you smiling, laughing, touching—someone just sent me a picture of you guys holding hands at some restaurant.”
“Bob, no. We weren’t holding hands. It’s not—god this is all so fucked up. Why do you even care?” She questioned. “We’re done. Aren’t we?”
“Sam…I just. I’m really confused. I’m leaving Kyneton soon to head back to Vancouver but I can make a stop in Portland to talk, if you want to.”
“I want to, but…”
“Talk to me, Sam.”
“I’m confused too.” She admitted. “Jeremy and I, our divorce is almost gonna go through. We’re almost…over and, I found out he had a girlfriend and I got jealous.”
“I think that’s normal. I’m sure he felt jealous when he found out about me.”
“Well, I guess the girl dumped him.”
“And we broke up. And now you’re feeling like you have to get back together.”
“Exactly.”
“Maybe it isn’t a good time for us to talk, Sam. I think you need to figure out your shit with Jeremy before you try to move on. Don’t get me wrong, babe. I really love you. I do. I think we have something good here, but I don’t want you to feel like the what if is hanging over you when you’re with me. You need a hard, final stop. If Jeremy says he never wants to get back together, then I think you need to accept that and move on. If he says there’s a chance, maybe ask what you can do. What you can work on.” He told her. “And the baby, listen, I wanna apologize. I…I shouldn’t have tried to take that baby away from you and Jeremy. I just…I wanted you for myself. I wanted a life with you.”
“No, I understand. I accept your apology.”
“You’re bright and wonderful. That baby is so lucky to have you as a Mom. Just take a deep breath and decide what you want, babe.”
“You’re wise beyond your ears, Bobby.”
“Ah, well, I reckon I should get into marriage counselling if this acting thing doesn’t pan out.” He chuckled. “Listen, talk to me soon. Okay? Don’t be a stranger. I’ll see you later, luv.”
“You too.”
Samara went back into the restaurant just as their entrees came out. She didn’t eat her food for a bit, staring out of a window in deep thought until Jeremy tapped her hand. ‘You okay?’ he mouthed to her and she shook her head. He nodded and went back to eating. Jeremy avoided talking to her about anything remotely romantic, or about Bob or the movie for their meal. The minute they got back to Samara’s apartment, he put the kids down for a nap and pulled Samara into her bedroom.
“Sam,”
“I love you.” She cut him off, her back towards him as she stared out of the window. Jeremy reached behind him and closed the bedroom door. “I love you,” She repeated, but her voice was cloudy, and she sniffed audibly. For a while, Jeremy didn’t say anything, just took a seat in one of the sofa chairs in the corner.
“You’re upset because of your breakup with—”
“No, no I’m not.” She shook her head, turning towards him. “I’m not upset. I’m…well, I mean I’m upset but I know I love you. I don’t want this.”
“Sam, you were the one that filed.”
“I know, and I’m telling you it was a mistake.”
“Is this because Brittany and I broke up? Did you see an opportunity?”
“Please stop trying to find a reason for this, I’ve been feeling…I don’t know. I can’t imagine myself not being with you, Jer.”
He shook his head, leaning his elbows on his knees with a low sigh. “I told myself that this is what I wanted, this is what I wanted to hear.” He murmured, tears filling his eyes. “Sam, you deserve better than me.”
“I don’t wanna be pregnant and single, Jer. I wanna be pregnant and welcoming a child with my husband.” She sobbed, and then put a hand over her mouth to quiet herself. A small pause in the conversation was interrupted by Jeremy’s phone ringing, and he sighed.
“It’s my lawyer, I’m sorry.” He wiped his tears and answered. “Hello? Hey, yeah. No it’s all good.” He said. “Ah, okay. Well, uh…let me call you tomorrow. I’m dealing with something right now and I’ll give you an answer then. Okay. Bye.” He hung up and slid his phone onto a small coffee table. “That was my lawyer notifying me that the divorce papers came in. She was asking me if I wanted to sign them electronically or give her the power to do it. It’s either than or I have to run down to L.A.”
“You still wanna do it?” Samara asked, her voice quivering with emotion. “Are you happier without me?”
“No. But I think you’re happier without me. I hurt you so bad, Sam. I saw what me cheating on you did to you. I ruined that bright, beautiful girl with confidence, who radiated happiness. I made you doubt yourself. I’m so sorry.”
“Time heals.”
“I know.” He nodded. “I need to leave this up to you.”
“You want me to tell you whether or not to sign the divorce papers? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“I don’t know what I’m telling you, Sam.” He snapped. “I don’t fucking know, god damn it.” Now, there were tears in his eyes. “I’m in so much god damn pain; I’m so tired of dating, tired of getting into fights with other girls because I talk about you too much or not enough. I’m tired of break-ups and moving on and getting set up with friends of friends.” Jeremy yelled in frustration. “I shuttle my kids off back and forth between my house and yours in whatever states we’re in. I have to pretend and tell my family I’m happy that you’re dating, and happy and moved on after the giant fucking mistake I made. I tell them you’re better off, that I’m not worthy, I have to sit there and self-deprecate because it’s the only thing these days that doesn’t make me feel fucking guilty.” Samara sat there, wide eyed and staring at Jeremy. Her eyes were glistening. “I’m forty-fucking-five years old, I’ve been almost divorced twice, I’m a fucking idiot because I never—never in my entire life—have had someone love me as much as you have. I’ve never had that. It scares the ever living shit out of me. You love me so much, and I love you so much it fucking consumes me, Sam.” She tried to speak, but realized he wasn’t done. “I can’t make decisions for us, Sama. I need you to tell me. I need you to make the decision.”
“I wanna be your wife, I don’t wanna be your ex, I wanna wake up next to you and kiss you and love you.” She was sobbing, face contorting in anguish. “I need you, Jer. I’m so sorry I did this to you.” Jeremy went still. “I’ve treated you horribly. I’m so sorry.”
“No, you’ve treated me fairly.” He sighed. “I love you too, Sam. I always will.”
“…But?”
“No buts, Sam. I love you. I love you so much it burns me.”
Samara stood up and hugged Jeremy tightly, pressing her face into his chest. “I don’t want you to leave me.” Jeremy slid his phone from his pocket and pressed a return call button.
“Hey, it’s me. Listen, uh, retract the divorce papers for now. I have some things I need to figure out.”
Thanks again to kingarthurscat for beta help and her excellent suggestions.
Rated R for some angst and discussion of vampire biting and blood drinking
Once they were in the kitchen Sara put on a pot of coffee and then set the table. She went to the fridge and took out some eggs and milk. Penn seated himself at the kitchen table as she cracked a couple of eggs into a bowl. He watched her as she poured in a little milk and began to beat the eggs.
Ordinarily she would have felt self-conscious about someone watching her while she worked, but she didn’t mind Penn’s close attention. As she beat the eggs she glanced up at him and smiled. He had washed the gel out of his hair and now it was loose and wavy, falling in soft bangs over his forehead. It was a different look for him, more boyish. She liked it.
“You’re really comfortable in the kitchen,” he said.
“My mother taught me how to cook. She said I’d need the skill when I got married. I didn’t enjoy it then because she was always so critical of everything I did, even peeling potatoes. ‘Sara, you’re taking off too much of the potato with the peel, you’re wasting food!’” She mimicked Vera in a high, screechy voice.
“Kind of hard to enjoy anything when you have a parent breathing down your neck,” said Penn. “I know how that feels.”
“I didn’t start to enjoy cooking until I was living on my own, maybe because I was cooking for me and not for some future husband.”
“Makes sense,” said Penn. “When you’re taking care of yourself, it’s not a chore.”
“Yes, exactly.” She studied his face. “I guess I can’t make any of my special dishes for you. You’re on a liquid diet.”
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“So if you get hungry, what do I do? Should I just open a vein?”
Penn raised an eyebrow. “Is that a serious offer?”
Sara had been smiling, but something in his tone wiped it off her face. “No, not really.”
“Don’t offer me blood unless you truly mean it, Sara, because I just might take you up on it.” His tone was stern, not quite angry.
She frowned. “It’s just a joke, Penn. Lighten up. Jeez.”
“Blood is the most precious gift a human can give to a vampire. It’s not something we joke about. If you make an offer like that when I’m really…hungry, I might not be able to tell if you’re kidding.”
“And then what? You’d get all demon-faced and jump on me?”
Penn’s face gave away nothing. “I would try not to.” His tone was as carefully neutral as his expression.
“You’d try? You don’t know if you could control yourself?”
Penn shrugged. “Again, it would depend on how hungry I was. It’s not like human hunger, Sara. It’s primal. Animalistic. Best not to joke about it at all.”
She held up her hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Message received. I didn’t know it was such a big deal, Penn. I’m sorry.”
His expression softened. “Usually when we feed it’s a case of a predator conquering his prey, but once in a while a human may willingly offer their neck or wrist to us and then it’s something different. Something much more intimate.”
His voice deepened a little and suddenly she felt that honey-on-skin sensation again. She swallowed hard. She could imagine submissively offering her neck to him and his fangs puncturing the skin. Memories of their first encounter flooded her mind. That mix of pleasure and pain…that feeling of being overwhelmed and dominated…
She shivered. It was dangerous to think of such things. It was insane to think of such things. Like looking out the window and wondering what it would be like to jump.
“Sara?”
She snapped out of her reverie and looked at him. Heat flushed her face. “Do – do people really do that?” she asked. Her voice was husky and a little shaky. “Let you drink from them?”
Penn tilted his head and gave her a long look. “It doesn’t happen often,” he finally said. “Ever since Italy I’ve tried to keep a low profile. Many of my past partners never even knew that I was a vampire. Most of them were one night stands, anyway. But once in a while I would meet someone special. Someone I could trust with my secret. There have been times when that special someone would allow me to drink from them while we made love.”
“Really?” Her eyes felt as though they might pop out of her skull.
“It’s very dangerous, as you can imagine. If I’m especially…hungry, I can drain a person to death in a couple of minutes. But if I’ve fed recently I can take a little bit from a willing partner. Maybe a pint, but no more than that. More than that can harm a human. I need to be very conscious of what I’m doing because it’s so easy to lose control when I’m feeding. But even with all that…it’s such a special experience to drink from a partner who gives me their blood freely.”
“What makes it so special?”
He smiled. “I can’t really explain it. The trust involved…knowing that someone would surrender to me like that. Place their life in my hands. It’s quite intense, the ultimate in domination and submission.”
Sara let out a breath. Her legs felt a bit unsteady as she went over to the stove and started to heat a frying pan for her eggs. Her neck and shoulders felt tight and her hands shook slightly. All at once the small kitchen seemed to shrink to the size of a closet.
Her back was to him, but she was conscious of his gaze on her. She ignored it and focused on scrambling her eggs. There was silence in the kitchen except for the sizzle and hiss as she pushed the eggs around the pan. After a couple of minutes they were done. The coffee was finished at the same time. She had timed everything perfectly.
Penn watched her silently as she slid the eggs onto a plate and then poured coffee for both of them. She managed to avoid his gaze as she filled his cup. “How – how do you take it?” she asked. “Your coffee, I mean.”
The corner of his mouth quirked upward. “Black, no sugar.” He took the cup she offered, sipped and made an appreciative noise. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
“Good.” She added a spoonful of sugar and just a little milk to her cup. Once the coffee was to her liking she loaded some of the eggs onto her fork and tasted them. They were just right. Nice and fluffy, the way she liked them.
She chewed and he sipped. Neither of them spoke for a minute or two. Finally Penn set the cup down. “Sara, look at me.”
She raised her eyes from her cup. “Yes?”
“I would never take your blood without your permission. You don’t need to worry about that.”
She sighed and then nodded. “Yeah, I know that. I’m sorry about the joke. I was trying to be cute, but I didn’t know that it was such a serious subject. And then the other stuff you said…it reminded me of that first night and well…”
“My bite aroused you. Thinking about it still arouses you.”
“Yes.” She looked up at him again. “But it’s wrong.”
“Wrong? Why? We’re consenting adults. If you offered, I would accept, but only if you offered it freely. Forcing you to yield your neck to me – that would be wrong. I would never do that to you. And if I bit you, I would take care not to cause you unnecessary pain. Do you trust me not to hurt you?”
“I’m not sure. I’m still learning about you. Getting used to you.”
Penn nodded. “That’s fair. Trust takes time and we’ve had a bit of a bumpy ride, so it will take more time. Just know this, dear: I don’t expect you to give me blood. I can find blood very easily, so don’t feel pressured to feed me. If you decide to give me your neck, I want you to do it of your own free will. It’s your choice. Everything we do is your choice. Please remember that. Okay?”
She smiled. “Okay.”
Penn toasted her with his coffee cup and she raised her own cup and clinked it with his.
“And that goes for everything outside the bedroom, too. Like telling me about Greg. You don’t have to ever mention his name if you don’t want to. It’s completely up to you.”
“Thanks, but I think I want to talk about him today. I might not have the nerve on another day.” She brought another forkful of egg to her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. A wicked smile bloomed on her lips.
“Besides,” she said, “it’s not like you have to be anywhere this morning, right?”
Penn chuckled and took another sip of coffee. “You are cheeky.”
“You like it when I’m cheeky. You said so last night.”
“So I did.” He nodded. “All right. Whenever you’re ready.”
“First things first. I really should call Trish.”
“Good idea.”
Sara finished the last of the eggs and took one final sip of coffee before bringing her dishes to the sink. After topping off Penn’s coffee cup, she said, “I’ll go into the bedroom and call her. I don’t know how long it’ll take.”
“Take all the time you need.”
Sara gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving the kitchen.
*****
She sat on the edge of the bed and dialed Trish’s number. The phone rang once, twice and she shut her eyes. Her heart was pounding a little harder now.
Trish answered on the fourth ring. “Well, hello stranger.”
Was she angry or just being flippant? Sara couldn’t tell from her tone of voice. “Trish. Hi. I’m so sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner.”
“You disappeared on me, hon. I was worried about you. When you left that night I thought things were okay between us, but then I didn’t hear from you and I thought you were pissed at me.”
“I know. I’m so sorry I dropped out, but I’ve been a wreck the past couple of weeks.” She took a deep breath. “I confronted Penn when I got home and we had a fight.”
“You did? Aw, honey.” The concern and caring in Trish’s voice came through the phone loud and clear. It poured over Sara in a soothing wave.
“He admitted lying to me, Trish, and I got so angry. He tried to explain himself, but I didn’t want to hear it. I threw him out.”
“Good for you, babe.”
“It was awful. I cried myself to sleep. And I know I promised to get back to you, but I was so emotionally wrung out…I just didn’t have the strength to talk about it.” Sara stared at the blank space of wall above her desk, picturing the events of that night.
By necessity she had to leave some things out of her narrative, but the raw emotion was still there. “I was like a robot. I went to work and I went home and I went to bed. I didn’t have the energy for anything else. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Trish.”
“My poor, sweet baby. I’m sorry you went through that alone. I really wish you had called me. Maybe I could have helped.” Any anger that had been in her voice was now gone. “But I’m proud of you for standing up to him. That couldn’t have been easy.” Pause. “You said he tried to explain himself. What was his reason for lying?”
Ah. Here she was about to enter some tricky territory. She had to come up with an acceptable alternative to the truth. Damn! She hadn’t prepared anything.
“I didn’t give him a chance to explain,” she said. “And when I had some time to think about it, I felt bad. That’s not me. I thought I ought to hear him out. So I reached out to him and suggested we meet.”
“Oh.” The single flat word conveyed oceans of disappointment.
“Yeah. We met up last night. I had just finished having dinner with Val, in fact. She says hi, by the way.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah. Penn showed up just as we were leaving the restaurant and after Val left we had a good talk, cleared the air.”
“How can you be sure he didn’t lie to you again?”
“Because he was genuinely sorry, Trish. He didn’t laugh at me the way Greg did. He was really upset. He knew he’d hurt me and he felt terrible about it. Maybe you had to be there, but I didn’t pick up any negative vibes from him. I got the feeling that he cares for me a lot.”
“So why did he lie to you in the first place?”
Sara took a deep breath, not sure of what she was going to say and then the words suddenly came to her in a rush. “He doesn’t like his job. It’s not what he wanted to do with his life, but with the economy…well, you know. He’s bored and he’s not using a fraction of his talents. He’s stuck in some back office all day, crunching numbers until he’s almost sick. He likes to sketch and he has real talent, but he’s never had the nerve to do anything serious about it.”
“I see.” Was she buying it? Sara couldn’t tell from those two words.
“The night of your party, he met Justin and Abby purely by chance on the street. When he found out that Justin was an artist he just got carried away with envy. He pretended to be an artist too. It gave him the confidence to crash the party. Apparently, he’s done that before, pretending to be someone else. He said it was a persona that felt as comfortable as an old leather jacket.” Penn hadn’t actually said that to her, but to Sara it felt like something he might say.
She added, “He kept up the deception when we met because he wanted to impress me and then the whole thing got out of control. He never meant any harm.”
There was a silence on the other end of the phone for a couple of beats. “He said all this to you last night?”
“Yes.”
“And you believed him?”
“Yes, Trish. I believed him.”
Another brief silence, then, “So, what’s the situation now? Are you together again?”
“We reconciled last night. I made him understand that if we were going to have any kind of relationship, he had to be completely honest with me from now on. No exceptions, and he agreed. So yes, we’re together again.”
Trish sighed. “Well. I can’t say I’m a hundred percent happy with your decision. I think you’re opening yourself up to be hurt again. That’s just my opinion, hon. I’ve got to call it like I see it.”
“He’s not a bad guy, Trish. He was playing a role and it blew up in his face. All he wanted was to add some excitement to his boring little life. He never thought things with me would get serious and then suddenly we were a couple and he started caring about me. He didn’t know how to take back the lie.”
“Uh huh. Okay, then. If you’re happy with him and he treats you well, then I wish you two all the best. But I’m never going to be the president of his fan club, just so you know. From this moment on, if he does anything to hurt you, I will do what I can to make his life hell.”
“I know, Trish. And believe me, so does he. He wants to make me happy. He said so last night.”
“Good. Glad to hear it. One thing…you might want to suggest a career change. If he’s that miserable at his job, maybe it’s time he did something different. Life’s too short, you know?”
“Yes, it is.”
They chatted for a few more minutes and Trish suggested another girls’ night sometime in the next couple of weeks. Sara eagerly agreed and Trish said she would call back later in the week to confirm things. That done, they made their goodbyes.
Sara ended the call with a light feeling in her chest that she hadn’t had in a couple of weeks. She looked down at herself and chuckled as she realized that she was still in her bathrobe. Quickly she changed into a T-shirt and jeans and then headed back out to rejoin Penn.
Penn was reading a newspaper from earlier in the week. He glanced up as she entered the room. “You’re smiling. I take it things went well?”
“Oh yeah. We had a great talk. You were right. She didn’t hate me.”
“I knew she wouldn’t.”
“But she doesn’t like you very much. She wants you to know that you’d better be good to me or else you’ll have to answer to her.”
Penn chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Briefly Sara summarized their conversation. Penn raised an eyebrow when she mentioned her description of his imaginary job. “You reinvented me as Walter Mitty,” he said.
“I figured that having a boring job would be a good reason for your need to pretend to be an artist,” she said.
He nodded. “Sounds like you covered that very well. It’s exactly what I would have said. Well done.”
“Thanks.” She grinned at him. “I can’t describe to you how happy I am right now. In just twenty-four hours the two most important people in my world have come back into my life. I was miserable without them. I don’t want to lose either of them again.”
“You won’t lose me, honey. I’m not going anywhere.”
She came up to him and kissed him on the forehead. “That means the world to me.”
Straightening up, she smiled down at him. “Now, I believe I promised you a story. Shall we retire to the living room?”
Penn pushed his chair back and stood up. “After you, my dear.”
Author’s Note: Rated R PG13. No trigger warnings. Except those regarding pregnancy and some medical content.
“Flynn, stay here bud.” Jeremy requested, placing the toddler in front of the laptop on the floor.
“Momma?” Flynn questioned, pressing his finger against the laptop screen where Samara’s Skype Icon was.
“Yes, Mommy will be calling us soon.” He sighed in exhaustion, sitting deep in the couch with a cup of hot coffee balanced on his knee. The warmth felt good against the palm of his hand. The skype tone began playing and Devani let out a loud squeal. Jeremy kneeled down and pressed ANSWER, then returned to the couch.
“Hi my babies!”
The twins let out simultaneous loud cries of happiness.
“Mommy!” Flynn whined, leaning forward towards the computer and slapping the keys.
“Buddy, don’t press the keys.” Jeremy told him and he sat back.
“Oh my baby boy, I miss you so much. Mommy can’t wait for you to come visit me in Oregon.”
“Where?” Devani asked.
“Mommy is in Oregon, that’s north.” She explained. “I love you. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Ah-gan!” Flynn repeated, toddler speak for ‘Oregon’. “I love you.”
“Oh gosh, I love you too.” Samara was beaming on camera, grinning from ear to ear. It had been a couple days since she got to hear the sound of her childrens’ voice, and the minute she did her mood lifted by at least a thousand percent. Jeremy’s face was out of frame, but he could still see the screen, and felt a small twinge of pain in his chest and the sight of his wife smiling. Wife. Was she still his wife? Her wedding ring sat in a drawer here, in his apartment in LA. Something caught his attention, a shadow moving behind her.
“Momma!” Devani said, pointing to the figure in the background. “Bob.”
“Yeah, that’s Bob—Bobby, come say hi.” Samara urged. She was currently in Oregon filming an independent drama about a woman who escapes captivity after being kidnapped from the home of her best friend when they were children. Bob Morley was playing her childhood friend, and her love interest in the film.
“G’day little ones,” He said, leaning into frame in camera.
“Bob!” Flynn and Devani shouted together, making the actor laugh.
“Good morning, beauties. I’ll be seeing you soon. Don’t give your Dad too hard of a time, yeah?” The Aussie joked, amdthen patted Samara’s back. “I’m gonna shower then we can go.” He murmured before leaving her side.
For a while, Samara discussed her toddler’s activities, and after a half hour, Jeremy put the twins to bed for a nap and pulled the laptop onto the coffee table in front of him to speak to Samara.
“Hey.” He greeted her warmly.
“Hi,” She smiled. “How’ve you been?”
“Fine, thanks. You?”
“Alright. It’s cold as hell out here, I want my L.A. sun back,” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I talked to your sister the other day, she says you have a girlfriend. You brought her over for dinner last Sunday?” She questioned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out like that…I don’t know how I wanted that to come out.”
“Nah, it’s fine. Yeah, I do.”
“Has she met the kids?”
“No,” He shook his head. “That won’t happen for a long time.”
“Have you drawn up divorce papers?”
“No, but our separation went through. Sorry, I signed onto another film and the Combine is producing a television series. I’ve been a little busy.”
“It’s okay, it’s fine. I’m just…I don’t know what I’m trying to do—make conversation, maybe? I really don’t know what to say to you.”
“Me either.” He chuckled, sniffing. “How are you and Bob doing?”
“We’re goin’. It’s moving.” She sighed, looking down the hall where Bob was still getting ready to leave. “After we split and with that whole shit with Matt I told myself I wouldn’t date another actor and yet, here I am.”
“You do seem to have a bad track record with actors.”
“Shut up.” Samara laughed. “To be honest, I’m kind of excited to see you. I think this is gonna be good for us. We can’t avoid each other forever.”
“Did you think I was avoiding you?” He asked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to think that.”
“No, it’s…I don’t know.”
“You okay? You been okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I promise.”
“Despite everything, Sam. I’m always here to talk to you. If you…you need to talk?”
“I’d rather talk to you when you get here.”
Now came the hard part: “How’s the baby?”
“Fine.” She nodded.
“Does Bob know?”
“Yeah.”
“And he’s okay with it?”
“For the time being. I’m preparing myself for when I start to get a little rounder and it becomes real. He might leave then…but for now it’s fine.”
“Okay. Good.” The first time they talked about the baby after Jeremy moved out, it became a fight. Now, his face was calm, and his eyes were sad. “Listen, I gotta finish packing. I’ll see you soon. I’m excited to meet Bob.”
“Right, um, about that—he’s leaving the day you get here. He’s got a family thing in Australia he needs to take care of so…that won’t be happening. Um, but if you want, since the kids are gonna be staying with me—I mean, I have a guest room.”
Jeremy mulled over it for a moment. “Is that gonna be okay for you?”
“Yeah,” She nodded with a gentle smile. “It’ll be fine for me. I’m gonna talk to it about Bob but ultimately it’s my decision.”
“Sounds good. Let me know.”
“I will. Milo is excited to see you.”
Jeremy smiled. “I’m excited to see my buddy too.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“Alright, bye.”
Jeremy hung up the Skype call and Samara leaned back in her chair, letting out a deep breath like she’d been holding her breath for an hour. It was always a complete marathon for her talking to Jeremy. She was so afraid of overstepping her boundaries, offending him, pissing him off. It was like walking on eggshells made of broken glass.
“DADDY!” Flynn shouted from the bedroom he shared with his sister. Jeremy shook his head with a smile and walked down the hall, finding his son jumping on his bed with a wide grin, one of his front teeth was missing after an unfortunate run-in with the bathroom door while playing tag with Devani. At least it was loose. More of a shock-cry than a pain-cry.
“No jumpin’ on the bed, little man. Don’t want you losing another tooth.” He warned the boy, then went over to Devani’s bed. “Did you sleep at all, baby girl?” She pouted and shook her head.
“Flynn too loud.”
“Oh well, I think it might be time for you two to have separate rooms, then.”
“No,”
“No?” He laughed, taking a seat on her bed and pulling Devani into his arms. “Alright, well let’s get dressed. Daddy’s gotta go to the recording studio.”
Two weeks later.
“Mm.” Samara stirred from a dream, staring into the bluish light of her digital clock on the nightstand. It was raining, big surprise in this area—sarcasm.
“Go back to sleep.” Bob groaned, rubbing her back.
“It’s 8am, you have to get up.” As if on cue, Samara’s dog, Milo jumped up on the bed and roused the two into a very awake state.
“Shit.” Bob laughed, and he swung his legs out from the bed and sighed, heading into the restroom to begin getting ready.
“Do you want me to drop you off at the airport?”
“No, I called for a car last night, but thank you, love.” He called out over the sound of the shower kicking on. Samara rolled onto her back and stretched, popping some joints and warming up her muscles. After a few minutes, the shower turned off and the sink turned on. Bob appeared in the doorway with shaving cream on his face and a razor in his hand. “Babies come today, yeah?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, running her fingers through her hair. “I gotta get Jeremy’s room ready.” Bob sighed and turned into the bathroom, and Samara got up to stand in the doorway so they could continue talking. “What?”
“Hm?”
“You sighed.”
“I just…it’s concerning me that your ex-husband is sleeping in the same house as you.” He shrugged.
“Do you not trust me with Jeremy?”
“Sam, I told you this relationship wasn’t going to work unless we were completely honest with one another, yeah?” She nodded and he began dragging the razor down his face. “When you told me about everything that happened with Matt Ryan, I started thinking about this and it’s…it’s, I dunno. I’m weirded out by it.”
“Do you think I’m going to cheat on you?”
“I’d love to say I have complete faith in you, Sam…but you don’t really have a great track record when it comes to keeping your hands to yourself when left alone with Jeremy Renner.” She didn’t respond, just sunk her teeth into her lower lip. He raised his brows expectantly.
“What do you want me to say, Bobby? What do you wanna do? If you don’t trust me then why don’t we just end it right now, huh?”
He pushed past her in the doorway and began getting dressed. “I don’t wanna end it, Sam. I just want you to make good choices.” Bob pulled a shirt over his head then pressed his lips against hers. She sighed into the kis, gripping the shirt at his chest and pulling him closer. “I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”
“Okay—let me walk you down.”
“Go back to bed, love. You need some sleep before those two hellions get here.” He laughed a bit. “I’ll call you later tonight.” Samara sat at her window, watching Bob exit her building and head into a car. She didn’t move until the car was down the block, then crawled back into bed to sleep until Jeremy arrived.
Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Her phone vibrated against her nightstand and she groaned, reaching out to find the device and press it again her ear after seeing REMY with the poop emoji appear on her screen. “Hello?”
“Did I wake you? Sorry,”
“No, I’m—well, yes, but I should be getting up. Are you guys here?”
“Not yet, we’re on our way in the car.”
“MOMMY!”
“We’re seeing her soon, Flynn.”
“My babies,” She wheezed, then yawned. “God, I’m exhausted.”
“How long did you stay up last night?”
“Not late at all, I just woke up early to say goodbye to Bob then fell back asleep. That always kills me.”
“You want some coffee?”
“That’d be amazing but I can’t have coffee right now, you know that.” She chuckled. “But thank you.”
“Ah, right, damn. Hey, listen Sam these kids are trying to climb out the window. I’ll see you in thirty, alright? Try and get some more sleep in and I’ll buzz when I’m here.”
“Okie dokie.” The minute she hung up, she rolled onto her side and passed the hell out until her apartment buzzer woke her up forty-five minutes later. Samara clothed her body in some sweatpants and a large, comfy sweater and activated the camera at the front door in her building. Jeremy had Devani in his arms, and the little girl was fast asleep. Flynn was walking circles around the driver, who had their bags. “Hey guys,” Samara greeted them, then pressed the button until the green light above the screen in the device glowed. A couple minutes later, there was a pounding on her door and Flynn was standing there with a wide grin. “Oh my loud little boy,” Samara laughed, pulling him into a hug.
“Mommy, mommy!”
“Hi baby boy. I missed you so much. I missed you so, so, so very much.” She whispered, kissing him all over his head and face. “Is she still asleep.” Jeremy nodded and set down the travel cup holder of his coffee, rubbing Devani’s back as Samara came around to peer at her face. “Hi beautiful,” She whispered, touching Devani’s lips and nose gently as she slept. “Tired baby. How was your flight?”
“Fine,” He said hoarsely.
“Are you okay? Are you sick?”
“I’m on the tail end of a cold, it’s fine.”
“Lemme take her.” Jeremy transferred Devani into Samara’s arms and the woman sat down on the couch to cuddle with her. Flynn climbed up on the couch and placed his head on Samara’s chest, hugging her tightly.
“I miss’t you Momma,”
“Oh, I missed you too.”
Jeremy smiled at the sight and settled in with his coffee, checking some emails on his phone.
“Mr. Renner, that is all the luggage. Is there anything else I can do?” The driver asked.
“Oh no, thank you though. I left your tip in the center console.”
“Thank you sir, enjoy your vacation.”
“Can I get you something? You want some alka seltzer?” Samara asked Jeremy.
He chuckled. “Honestly, Sam. I’m fine. It’s the tail-end of it. If I need anything I’ll get it. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me.”
“Thank you for bringing the babies.”
“My absolute pleasure.”
“This is the first time you’ve flown alone with them, huh?”
“Yeah,” He laughed. “Jesus, they’ve got a lot of energy. I tried to get my assistant to book a super early morning flight so they’d pass out but we couldn’t get one.” Devani lifted her head suddenly, rubbing her eyes.
“Daddy?”
“Over here, baby.” Jeremy told her, and she turned her head, getting a very confused look on her face before turning back to Samara.
“Mommy,” She smiled.
“You didn’t know who was holding you for a second, huh?” Samara laughed, pulling her daughter close and kissing her head. “Okay, babies. Let’s get you set up and watch some cartoons in your room, yeah? Daddy and I need to have a quick chat.” Jeremy raised his brows, pausing for a moment, then getting up to help her put the kids in the side room with some snacks. Once that was done, he followed Samara into the living room and sat across from her.
“What’s up?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to catch up, talk about the baby.”
“Oh.” He sighed.
“Did you think it was something bad?”
“No, I just—have you not seen the news today?”
“…No…”
Jeremy pulled out his phone and tinkered with it for a moment before handing it to Samara.
JEREMY AND SAMARA FILE FOR SEPARATION: WHAT HAPPENED?
She sighed. “Well, shit.”
“We knew this might happen, it’s public record after all but…Jesus.”
“I’m not gonna comment on it.”
“I never do.”
“Okay,” She sighed. “Well, um,” Samara reached into the small box on the coffee table and pulled out a photo, handing it to Jeremy. A smile appeared on his face and he ran his fingers over the print of the ultrasound Samara had gotten the week before.
“Hello beautiful.” He grinned, “How is everything? All good?”
“Yeah.” She lifted up the sweater and tapped the swell of her stomach.
“Can I…?” He asked, gesturing to her belly.
“Come on over,” She smiled and Jeremy took the seat next to her, sliding his hand across her stomach and brushing thumb against the swell of it. “Crazy, huh? Baby number 3.”
“Despite everything, Sam. I’m really happy.”
“Oh,” She sighed.
“No, I mean…of course I’m not happy we’re separated, but the thought of us having another baby makes me happy.” He sighed. “I’ll always love you, Sam. You’re the mother of my child.” Samara stared at the carpet, all the happiness that had been present in her eyes and face gone like a candle finally going out. Jeremy reached forward and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. The touch made her press her lips together to prevent tears from falling. “You know this isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault. We were teetering on the edge for a while.”
“I kissed Matt.”
“Sama, shh.” He shook his head, hand sliding down to clutch her hand. “Forget that. Forget it. Let’s just…let’s take a deep breath and move on. Things happened. You’re happy with Bob, I’m happy with Brit.” Her eyes flickered upwards and a small pain moved through her chest at hearing the girl’s name for the first time. Brit. Brittany. Jeremy noticed the pain and retracted. “Do you regret it?”
“Don’t ask me that. Not now.” She whispered. “I can’t answer that.”
“Are you happier?”
“I’m less stressed but I feel like I gave up on you and I regret that.” A single tear fell down her cheek and Jeremy brushed it away, cradling her face in his hands. “It hurts. I feel like I failed. We were together for so long and I gave up on you.” It was the first time Samara had actually gotten genuinely emotional about her and Jeremy’s marriage issues. Sure, she had gotten emotional but it was usually painted by anger. Now, she was just sad.
“Sammy, come on.” He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head.
“I want to be anything but your ex-wife. I don’t want that attached to my name.”
“I have never and will never refer to you as my ex-wife. You’re the mother of my children, a woman I used to be with. I will never call you my ex-anything. If I have in the past I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that.”
“It’s what I am,”
“But it upsets you and I don’t want to upset you. What else can I call you? How about Baby Mama? You like that?”
“Baby Mama Drama.”
“That’s good too.” He chuckled, rubbing her arm. “Feelin’ better?”
“I really want salt and vinegar chips…and a calzone.”
“Alright, foodie. I’ll get some takeout. Is there a good Italian place nearby?”
“The Garden down the street does takeout. They know my order, just call and say it’s for Samara.” Jeremy nodded and patted her thigh. “The number is by the house phone at the front door.” He went to make the call and Samara composed herself enough to go check on the children, then came back into the room. “I got your usual—pepperoni calzone with extra cheese, also got some stuff for the kids and me. Early dinner?”
“Sounds good.”
“There was a number for a bakery and I asked for your usual there—chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cake, Sam. Really?”
She laughed. “Leave me alone. My cravings are getting out of control.”
Bzz Bzz. [ Finally got wifi. How are you babe? x ] A text from Bob.
[ fine! Jeremy and the kids are here. We just ordered some take out, probably gonna watch a movie with the babies.”
“Is that Bob?” Jeremy questioned.
“Yeah,” She nodded, darkening her screen. “He got wifi on the plane, finally. Just checking in.”
Both Flynn and Devani came running into the room and into Samara’s lap. “Oh hello babies!” She grinned.
“Mommy, snacks.” Devani asked.
“We just ordered dinner, babies.” She kissed both their foreheads and Jeremy walked past, tapping each of his children’s heads before going into Sam’s kitchen to get a glass of water. The facetime notification popped up on her phone and Samara answered, smiling at the sight of her boyfriend’s face on the screen. “Hey love,” She greeted.
“Hi gorgeous.” Bob mused, leaning back in his airplane seat.
“BOB!” Flynn yelled, shoving his face into the camera.
He laughed. “Hey bud. What’s happenin’?”
“Bob?” Devani whispered, trying to get her face on screen as well.
“Hey kiddos. You mind lettin’ me see your Mum, there?” Jeremy swooped in with a laugh, carrying the two kids to the other side of the room. He couldn’t help but be a bit saddened by the happy glow in Samara’s features. “I don’t want to keep you too long, just wanted to see your face and hear your voice. My mom’s been bothering me about getting you out here to meet everyone.”
“Let’s plan something when you get home. Call me when you land, I don’t care what time it is.”
“Will do, babe. Love you,”
“Love you too. Bye.”
“The L word, huh?” Jeremy asked.
“I’m not a lesbian, no.”
“Sam,” He laughed.
“I’m kidding, but yes, he said it last week.” She shrugged, picking up the twins’ jackets that they had tossed on the floor and draping them over the back of the couch. “Babies, go back in your room and play.”
“Yes Mommy,” They said in unison.
“Ooh, I don’t feel good.” Samara whined.
“What’s up?”
“Just nauseous.” She admitted, getting up off the couch and going into the restroom. Five minutes later, she came out and curled up on the couch next to Jeremy with her eyes closed. Jeremy stared at her calm features, admiring the way her eyelashes cast a shadow on her cheeks and her slight weight gain filled out her face. Within a few minutes, Samara was drifting off to sleep.
Jeremy snapped a picture of them in a mirror across from the couch and posted it to twitter/Instagram.
Got here. Unpacked. Ordered food and she passed out on me. Some hostess. [winking emoji] @samararenner
+ favorited by Chris Evans
+ favorited by Cobie Smulders
+ favorited by Bob Morley
Jeremy stared at the notification, and directly under it was another: Bob Morley (verified) followed you! Jeremy went to his twitter page, clicking on the most recent tweet, a photo of Samara on a balcony, early morning and curled up in a blanket with a mug of hot tea. I have to leave this beautiful creature tomorrow night and I’m not looking forward to it. Jeremy sighed and pressed grey follow button, turning it blue.
“Jerry?” She whispered, and it startled him slightly.
“Yeah?”
“Can you do that thing with my hair?” He pulled her towards him until her head was on his lap, running his fingers through her hair and gently detangling with his fingertips. “Hm,” She hummed. For a few moments, she was in peace—until the door buzzed. Jeremy got up to let the delivery man into the building and took care of payment.
“Flynn! Deva! Come here, dinner’s here.” He got the kids set up, then told Samara not to get up after she expressed she still wasn’t feeling better, bringing her food to her while the kids ate at the table. Jeremy joined her at the table, but in a position where he could still keep an eye on the toddlers. “All good?” He asked Sam, and she sighed, pushing her meal away.
“God, I just don’t feel good. I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Something must be wrong, because you got a fat calzone in front of you and you haven’t touched it.” He picked up her food and placed it in the fridge. “Flynn, Dev, stay here okay?” They both nodded and he smiled before returning his attention back to Sam. “Let’s get you into bed, okay? Nap a little, I’ll come check on you later and see if you can eat then.”
“Okay.” Now he really knew something was wrong, because Samara wasn’t fighting him when he requested she take a nap. He ate his meal and checked on the kids ever-so-often, and after they were done eating he set the Facetime up to they could talk to his mother in Modesto. Kissing both of their heads, he went into the master bedroom to check on Samara. There was evidence of her boyfriend everywhere, clothes draped over chairs, the lingering smell of some cologne, but it was all fading now.
“Hey.” He whispered, hand sliding up her arm as she laid on her stomach across the bed, her body tangled up in sheets. “Sama?”
“Hm?”
“Hey sleepy head, you’ve been out for an hour and a half. You wanna try eating something?”
“No.” She murmured, turning her head away from him. Jeremy sat on the edge of the bed and took her feet into his lap, massaging them the best he could. Samara sat up, rubbing her temples and letting out a sigh. “Jerry,”
“Yeah?”
“I’m cramping.” She admitted and Jeremy’s heart sunk.
“Do you want to go to the hospital, Sam?”
“Yes,” She nodded.
“Alright, I’ll call your assistant to come watch the kids and I’ll take you. Hang tight.” After he left the room to make the phone call, her twins came in and climbed up on the bed.
“Mommy you are sick?” Flynn asked, touching her bottom lip gently.
“Yes, baby, but I’ll be okay. I promise.” She whispered, kissing his forehead and patting Devani’s back. “I love you both so much.”
“Hey, babies.” Jeremy smiled. “Ella is coming over to watch you guys while Mommy and Daddy go on a little trip, okay?”
“Where Ella?” Devani asked.
“She’s on her way, baby girl. She’ll be here soon. Maybe you guys can watch The Little Mermaid, huh?”
“Yes,” She smiled and Jeremy kissed her nose. It was nice to see him happy and interacting with the children. The year coming up would be a busy one, and Samara made sure to make herself as available as possible so Jeremy could fulfil his contractual obligations when it came to his films. “Mommy?” Devani asked, tugging on her blouse.
“Baby no more, remember? We want you to use the sippy cup.” It was a tough trial getting the twins off breastfeeding. She had to feed them every once in a while when they got unbearably fussy and couldn’t be calmed down. It put them right to sleep now.
A knock at the door caught all their attention, as well as some barking from the other room. “Oh my gosh, poor Milo, I put him in the other room so he wouldn’t jump all over the kids when you first got here.”
“I’ll go free him.” Jeremy laughed, “And let Ella in.”
Samara got out of bed and put on some clothes and shoes, then left her bedroom and kissed her assistant on the cheek in a greeting. “Hi beautiful,” She smiled.
“Hello Samara, hello babies!” Ella grinned, kissing the tops of both Flynn and Devani’s heads. She was such a bright light in Samara’s life, and handled her insane schedule so well. She was truly a blessing. “Samara, is there anything I can do?”
“No, honestly. Just watch my babies. Jeremy and I will be back soon—speaking of, Jerry, are you ready?”
“Yeah,” He tossed a bag over his shoulder then placed a hand on Samara’s back, leading her out of her townhouse. “You walkin’ okay?”
“Yes,” She nodded, and he took her hand to help her into the passenger side of her land rover, a fairly recent purchase. The next time she woke up, she was in a hospital bed.
“Hey you.” He smiled.
“I’m so tired,”
“Go back to sleep. I’ll be here.”
“Did the doctor say anything?”
“You have a little bit of a fever. I’ll tell you more when you wake up.”
“Okay.”
Once she was asleep again, Jeremy relaxed in his chair and found the place where he had left off in his book. However, he was interrupted once again by his cell phone ringing from an unfamiliar number.
“Hello?”
“Is this uh, is this Renner—Jeremy?”
“Yeah,”
“It’s Bob.”
“Oh hey, you got my message?”
“Yeah, is she okay?”
“She woke up briefly, she’s sleeping—listen I called, because uh, because I figured you’d want to know – I mean, if I were you, I mean I was you – I mean, I would want to know.”
“No I get it.” Bob sighed. “I told her to take it easy, to put in less hours and she didn’t listen to me. It’s a low key independent film with some big names on it. She doesn’t have to be on set eighteen hours a day.”
“Well, y’know Sam.”
“Right.” Bob laughed a bit, shaking his head. “I’m still on the plane, using the built-in phone, so if we hit turbulence I might lose you—what does the doctor say?”
“Well, it’s definitely exhaustion. She has a little bit of a fever. She needs fluids and sleep but they wanna keep her overnight.”
“I…should I turn around?”
“No, no, I’ll hold down the fort here. If anything happens I’ll call her parents then call you. Alright?”
“Sounds good mate, thanks for steppin’ in. And uh, thanks for calling.”
“Yeah, of course. My wi—” He caught himself, clearing his throat. “Sam really loves you, I can see it on her face. I know she’d want you to be updated.”
“Call me when she wakes up again, I wanna hear her voice.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Alright, I’ll catch you later, mate.”
“Bye.”
Jeremy engaged in a couple hour face time call with his children, then a forty-five minute phone call with his Dad about his current situation. They all sent their best, and he had to fight his mother tooth-and-nail to prevent her from buying a plane ticket to come see them. It’s not that bad, Ma. I promise. If anything changes I’ll call you. He assured her. That’s my daughter in law!
He entered Samara’s room with a sigh after finally calming his mother down and was surprised to find her awake with a little brightness in her eyes. “Hey there.” He grinned. “My mom,” He said, waving his phone. “You know she wants to fly out here and pamper you.”
“Oh, Mama Renner. My mama.” She smiled. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” He nodded. “Hey, Bob wanted you to call him when you woke up.”
“Oh, okay. Can I use your phone? I think I left mine at home.”
Jeremy nodded, handing her the device. The minute it was in her hand, it buzzed.
Hi baby! Just landed. I miss you so much ): Call me later okay? How is everything going? A text from Jeremy’s girlfriend.
“Oh—I um,” She held out the phone awkwardly and Jeremy raised a brow, and then cleared his throat.
“Ah, sorry.” He returned the text quickly, and then handed the phone back to Samara with a small smile. “It’s the third to last call made.” Samara pressed the button and pressed the phone to her ear.
“Bobby? Hey, it’s me.”
“It’s real good to hear your voice, baby.” He mused and Samara smiled. Jeremy’s heart skipped a beat, and then sunk when he realized the smile wasn’t for him. No, he shouldn’t be thinking about things like that. He shouldn’t ever be thinking things like that. There was a divorce glimmering on the horizon. Samara was on the phone for fifteen minutes, and when she hung up she went into a coughing fit. Jeremy patted her back and helped her through it.
“You’re alright.” He assured her.
“You wanna go call your girl now?”
“Oh yeah, I should do that.” He nodded, picking up his phone and bringing her number up on the screen. “I’ll be a minute.”
Samara nodded and sighed, sinking into the plush fabric of her hospital bed. She stared out of the window, smiling as the sun shone against it just as it began to rain again. She pressed her fingertips to the glass, leaving smudges in the condensation. The sight of the rain shining against the sunlight was almost so beautiful, it took Samara full ten minutes to realize she was crying.
Based off of Renner's 2 new Instagram photos I feel a fic needs to be written where he is having sex with his lady on a picnic table in his tux before leaving for the Oscars...!
Hi, I read a Brian Gamble fic a while back where the girl - I think her name was Ace - is his next door neighbour and they end up getting together. I can't remember much about it, but is there any chance you know what it's called?
He hunched further down into his leather jacket, eyes darting every which way as he walked briskly down the street making certain that he had not been followed. Stopping at the predetermined meeting place he slid onto the bench of the bus stop only moments after the bus had left. In the opposite direction from which he had come he could see a sheen of dark red hair sticking out of the hoodie and waving gently in the slight breeze.
When she reached him perched on the grimy New York bench, she discreetly opened her jacket to show a cocked gun pointed directly at him.
“How do I know you’re not Hydra?”
“I brought you in. If I was Hydra don’t you think i’d have had the sense to bring you all the way in.” She continued to stare at the sandy haired man before unlocking her gun and sliding it away in some discrete holster under he jacket.
“What are we doing here Clint?”
“Recruiting an old friend of mine, who I helped keep off The Index.”
“You what?!”
“You know what used to happen to the people that got on The Index. She’s my friend I was doing her a favor.“ Clint rose, and started to walk across the street to a tall and regal looking hotel. “When we get in here, don’t look anyone in the eye, don’t talk to anyone, don’t mention Shield or the Avengers or… You know what just don’t do anything. One wrong move in here and we would be safer tried and gagged in the middle of Hydra headquarters.” Clint muttered to the red headed beauty behind him as he pushed open the door to the Continental Hotel. She followed him as he approached the counter upon which he placed a gold coin and asked of an unassuming receptionist, “Pyro still frequent the club?”
“Do you have business with her?”
“I know the rules. I just want to arrange a meeting.”
“She will likely be here later tonight. Would you like a room?”
“Yea, better make it a double, she’ll be staying with me.” Clint said, nodding his head towards Natasha who stood just behind and to his right. “No membership, I’ll take responsibility for her.”
“You better take her down to the club with you then. She looks like she could get you in a lot of trouble. You’re a good customer, Francis. It would be a pity if your membership was terminated.” Face grim, Clint set two more gold coins on the counter, nodding to the man.
“I plan on it. You’ll be stuck with me for a while yet.” The receptionist handed Clint a small key, smiling.
“It has been good to see you again. It has been altogether too long.” Clint nodded, before turning toward the elevators motioning for Natasha to follow him.
Author’s Note: Rated R for language, and medical content.
“Shh, baby. Quiet.” Natasha whispered, bouncing Eleni in her arms, lulling the girl back to sleep after she began fussing. Zena was passed out in Brady’s arms, and Brady was passed out in a chair next to Viva. “Viva, you should go home.” She said softly, nudging her cousin’s knee with her own.
“You need the help, Nat.” She answered with a yawn, her eyes still closed. It made Natasha chuckle lightly. Being stubborn was a Urban family trait.
“Mm, baby I got this. Go home.” Brady said, waking up and patting his pregnant girlfriend’s knee. “I’ll call you when he’s out. Nat, can you give me a ride home?” Natasha nodded and Viva stood up, kissing the side of Eleni’s head then kissing Natasha’s head.
“Love you guys. See you later,” She yawned before taking the car keys from Brady and heading out of the hospital wing. Brady watched his wife walk slowly down the hallway with a look of fondness in his eyes.
Natasha took her seat next to Brady and stared down at Eleni’s sleeping face. The girls refused to go home and spend the night with Brady with their father in the hospital. The older they got, the more aware they were of certain situations, especially with their father being sick. Natasha hated how smart they were sometimes.
“How are you doing, Tasha?” Brady whispered, leaning towards her to capture her attention. “You alright?”
“I’m fine. I thought I was going to be upset but I’m not super upset. I’m just…I want this to be over. I want him to be okay.” She sighed. “We’ve been here for hours.” Her attention was caught by a nurse approaching them with a warm smile.
“Mrs. Renner?”
“Yes?”
“Jeremy is almost done; I can put you in his recovering suite right now if you want. It may be more comfortable?”
“That would be really nice, thank you.” Natasha got up and Brady put Zena in her stroller, rolling the kids and all their things down the hall and following the nurse into the recovery suite. She hadn’t told Jeremy she paid extra for the suite. She wanted him to be comfortable, plus she needed room for herself, Brady, Viva when she was available and their daughters. He was going to be here for a week or so, she didn’t want him holed up in a small hospital bed and room. Natasha entered the other room immediately and placed Eleni down, tucking her in. Brady followed suit. A sigh of relief went through him as he was finally able to relax, and Natasha chuckled, kissing his cheek. “Thank you so much for all your help, Brady.”
“Always.” The man responded, stretching his arms above his hair. “I’d do anything for you Renners.” He stared down at the two girls for a bit, the smile still present on his face. “Y’know, there’s three days that have always stood out to me when it came to you.”
“Really?”
“The day they told me I was getting a new partner, and they showed me a picture of you they probably snagged from your facebook and told me not to get into trouble.” He chuckled. Then there was the first day you started at work and I really had to make sure I wasn’t getting into trouble.” That made Natasha laugh, a real laugh she hadn’t felt in a few weeks. “I mean, you were just…you were so beautiful it was going to be a distraction so I went hard with making you my friend. Looking at you like you were my little sister. I mean, I know I was married but all married couples flirt. Maybe I could have made a move since my wife was cheating on me.” Natasha’s smile fell, but Brady comforted her. “Don’t worry about it, Honey.”
“What was the third day?”
“The first day I met Eleni and saw you with her. It was the happiest I had ever seen you. It was incredible.” He stared off to the side as if he was watching the memory against the white wall of the recovery suite. “You were glowing, just literally fucking glowing like the sun itself.”
Natasha pulled him into a tight hug and he held her there for a long time, and didn’t move when she began to cry. “What if he’s not okay?” She muttered.
“Then I’m gonna take care of you. Viva and I love you to death. You got that big ol’ house, we’ll move in with you and take care of you and the kids. We’ll help you out.”
“I can’t ask you to do that, you’re gonna have a baby.”
“Nat, you’re family—and that’s not even because of me and Viva. You’ve been family since you were there for me during my divorce. If you need help we’re gonna give it to you.”
The sound of the door to the suite closing caused them to part, and Brady headed out while Natasha freshened herself up and finished tucking in her daughters. Jeremy was being wheeled in and transferred into the bed. Natasha touched the arm of his surgeon and he brought outside the room to speak with her.
“How is he?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“We were able to remove a lot of the tumor, but not everything. We’re going to give him another two rounds of chemotherapy then another surgery. Mrs. Renner, I’m going to be very honest with you here. If the last two things don’t work we’re going to assess him and see how long he has.”
The brunette nodded, looking away from the doctor and into the room where Brady was busying fluffing the pillows around Jeremy’s head.
“Thank you, Doctor.”
“You’re welcome.”
When she went back into the suite, she closed the door behind her and smiled at Brady, who had already settled into a chair with a cup of coffee and a book. “Get some sleep, Nat. I’ll stay up with him in case he wakes up.”
“Thank you.” She smiled, kissing the top of Brady’s head and going into the bedroom to lay down with her little girls. Brady didn’t know how much time had passed, but when he heard a grunt and a shift in the sheets he put down his book.
“Hey bud, welcome back.” He said, patting Jeremy’s hand.
“Fuck me.” Jeremy wheezed. “Everything hurts.”
“I’d assume so, man.”
“Where’s my wife?”
“Sleeping in the other room.”
“Other room?” He looked around, squinting due to the lack of light. “This room is huge.”
“Natasha got you a recovery suite so everyone could be in here at once without it getting too crowded.” Brady explained.
“How long has Tasha been asleep?”
“Maybe a couple hours? I got lost in my book for a bit.”
“I’ll let her sleep.” He sighed. “How’s she been?” Brady shifted in his seat for a moment, letting out a sigh. “Don’t lie to me, man. Just tell me.”
“Jeremy, you need to talk to your wife. You need to talk to her.”
“We talk all the time.”
“No, talk about her life, work, the kids. Don’t talk about your sickness, your surgery. She’s afraid to talk about anything else because she doesn’t want you to think she’s self-centered or doesn’t care about you.” Brady told him. “You need to comfort her on that level.”
He sighed, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “You’re right.”
“Jer?” Natasha shuffled into the room with a sniff, giving her husband a small smile.
“Hey gorgeous, good morning.”
“What time is it?”
Brady glanced at his watch. “Around five AM.” He answered.
“Oh, Brady, go get some sleep. I made up the couch in the other room.”
The man nodded and headed into the back room while Natasha took his seat. She had changed into one of Jeremy’s hoodies and a pair of sweats. She curled into the chair and let out a loud yawn, causing Jeremy to chuckle.
“Hi beautiful.”
“Hey baby.” She smiled. “How do you feel?”
“Like I got hit by a truck.” He confessed. “Doesn’t matter right now, though. I’m healing. How are you?”
“Pretty good.” She nodded with a gentle smile. “Are they gonna put you on new medication?”
“No idea.” Jeremy said. “How’s work, did you finish that report you were stressed out about?”
Natasha shifted in her seat. “Yeah, I did. I asked for an extension on it because I didn’t want to turn in something half-assed.”
“That’s good you took the initiative on that.” Jeremy slipped his hand into Natasha’s and squeezed it gently. “Thank you for being so supportive, babe.”
“Of course.” She lifted his hand and began kissing his fingertips, avoiding bumping the heart monitor clamp on his pointer finger. “Want me to get into bed with you or you want some space?”
“Get in here, hot stuff.”
Natasha grinned from ear to ear and Jeremy couldn’t help but think how much he loved to see her smile, especially in a time like this. He used his fingertips to gently pull up her shirt and drew circles in her lower back, sinking in the sensation of Natasha’s body rising and falling with every breath. Soon enough, it evened out and she fell fast asleep. He felt calm.
After taking his sweet time to set up the wireless headphones without waking his sleeping wife, Jeremy watched some television for a couple of hours until about nine o’clock in the morning when Zena came shuffling out of the back room as well.
“Hi baby girl.” He grinned, holding out his hand, then pressing his fingers to his lips. “Mommy’s sleeping. We have to be very quiet, okay? You wanna get up in bed?” Zena nodded and pulled over a little step stool, getting herself up and cuddling against Jeremy’s side. “Got my girls. Where’s your sister, Z? Is she still sleeping?”
“She is sleeping.” Zena murmured, tracing some lines on Jeremy’s chest from one of his many tattoos. “Unc’a Brady is sleeping too.”
“I bet he’s tired.”
“Where Auntie Viva?”
“She’s at home, baby. You’ll see her soon.” Jeremy felt Natasha move against him, and her hand slid across his chest to gentle cup the side of Zena’s face.
“Mommy.” Zena whispered and Natasha closed her eyes with a sigh and a smile. Jeremy knew that for someone like Natasha, there was nothing better than hearing her husband say I love you, but more importantly, her child saying Mommy.
“My baby. You’ll always be my baby.”
“Daddy gets kisses.” Zena announced, leaning up and pressing her lips to Jeremy’s cheek. “Only kisses for Daddy today.”
“Okay, only kisses for Daddy.” Natasha repeated with a soft smile, pecking the side of Jeremy’s mouth.
“You are the luckiest man in the world.” Brady said with a grin as he entered the main hospital room. He looked disheveled, like he had slept like the dead. His hair was sticking up in a million different directions and Eleni was on his hip, clinging to him and still sleepy.
“That I am, but I think I’m missing one.” Jeremy smiled.
“Oh, well you’re gonna have to make a little more room. I’m not as trim as I used to be.”
“Shut up, Brady.” Natasha laughed. Brady went to set down Eleni, but she fussed and buried her face into his neck. “Alright, well, we lost Eleni to Uncle Brady.” Natasha looked over and sighed at the sight of Jeremy so immersed in his daughter, staring down at Zena as she stared out of the window, combing her hair with his fingers. A nurse entered the room and smiled at the sight of the family in bed.
“Hi everyone, good morning. I hate to break this up but Mr. Renner we need to hook you up to some oxygen. We were alerted to a threat that your lungs weren’t absorbing enough.”
“Oh, alright.” He nodded and Natasha got up, lifting Zena out of bed so the nurse could work on him. After ten minutes, Jeremy had a small, clear hose draped under his nose.
“How does that feel, Mr. Renner?”
“That’s fine, thanks.” He nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Where’s my Doc? Is he here?”
“He is, I’ll page him.” She nodded, pressing a small call button before leaving. A couple minutes later, Jeremy’s primary care doctor came through the door.
“Hello Jeremy, hello family. I haven’t met you yet,” He chuckled, shaking Brady’s hand.
“Brady, nice to meet you.”
“Are you Jeremy’s brother?”
“Oh no, no, I’m the kids’ godfather, I’m married to Natasha’s cousin.”
“Oh well lovely, nice to meet you.” He turned towards Jeremy. “Well, Mr. Renner. This was a tough operation, I will say.”
Natasha gave Brady a look and he clapped with a smile. “Girls, let’s head downstairs and get some breakfast, yeah?” Zena and Eleni nodded, trailing after their godfather with smiles on their face. Natasha sat up on the bed and Jeremy tapped along each bump of her spine.
“So, what’s it lookin’ like, Doc?”
He settled into a chair with a clipboard that had Jeremy’s medical information on it leaned against his thighs. “We did not get the entire tumor out. We’re going to do two rounds of chemotherapy and then another surgery. I’m sorry to say that the cancer this go around is extremely aggressive.”
Natasha’s jaw set as she struggled not to cry. Jeremy began massaging her back to calm her, feeling her tense up. “Is the chemo going to be more aggressive as well?”
“We’re gonna set you up on the same formula as you did the first time.”
“Can we get a better aftercare system? The last one sucked.”
“Natasha,” Jeremy sighed. “Sorry, excuse my wife.”
“No, I completely understand your frustration, Mrs. Renner.” He replied. “The first aftercare system you had was not adequate and I do apologize for that. We’re going to be sending Jeremy to a different chemotherapy center. It’s something a little more intimate and private. You’ll be getting a private room similar to this one.”
“That’s better.” The brunette sighed.
“Would you like me to set up some grief counselling?” The doctor asked. “We also have a special therapy program for marriages where a spouse has cancer.”
“I’d like that.” Jeremy spoke up.
“You think we need marriage counselling?” Natasha asked, turning around to face her husband.
“Babe, I don’t think anything’s wrong, I just think we need the extra support.”
“Okay.”
“Well, I’ll let you get settled. If you have any questions feel free to call me or a nurse in.”
Natasha was quiet for a long time, staring out of the window and sniffing while she got her thoughts together. “So we go to counselling and what?”
“Natasha, I’m not saying our marriage is in shambles. I just think we need the extra support. Brady and I are worried about you.” She shrugged. “Tasha, don’t just shrug. I need something from you.”
“What the hell do you want me to say, Jer? Of course I want to believe our marriage is fine.”
“It is fine.”
“Our marriage is perfectly fine, that’s why we’re going to counselling, huh?”
“Nat. What’s the matter with you, huh? You snap at the doctor and you snap at me. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, I’m just…irritated. I hate hospitals. I don’t want to be here.”
“Then go, you wanna go for a walk?”
“I don’t wanna leave you.” Jeremy pulled her down and he kissed her forehead.
“We’re gonna be okay, babe.” He said with a long exhale. “We just need to take a deep breath and get ourselves together. We can do this.”
