hold onto me, i'm a little unsteady.

a concept is a brick. you can use it to build a courthouse of reason—or you can just throw it through the fucking window.

[jsirius]

tenaciousteddylupin:

Teddy noticed James’ careful choice of words and he frowned. “James, being good at something doesn’t mean you have an automatic obligation. Please don’t convince yourself you want the position because you’re good at the job. You’re going to be so miserable if you live like that.” He smiled gratefully when James agreed with him on his view of the Ministry. He wasn’t usually the type to need validation but sometimes he couldn’t help wanting it, especially from his family. “Try telling that to Lorcan…” He sighed deeply. “He’s making my life so difficult but all he’s doing is giving the Ministry more reason to force legislation. And guess who’s in charge of enforcing the new rules and regulations?” His shoulders dropped as he thought of all the morally grey things he had to do to hold his job down. “I added him to the Registry, James. I don’t think I could forgive somebody if they ever did that to me. But the Ministry forced my hand… he must know that he just- he refuses to try and see things from my perspective.” He chewed on his bottom lip to stop himself from saying any more. James was clearly struggling with his own problems, he hadn’t meant to make their conversation about him. He was only just realising now how desperate he was to talk about his strained relationship with Lorcan but James deserved better than that. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling.” 

James shrugged. “Well, what I wanted to do isn’t happening,” he replied. “And I’m good at this, and it doesn’t matter if I’m totally in love with it or not. If I’m good at it and I get a sense of duty from it, I’m fine.” James was going to be a professional quidditch player—he had come so close, close enough that he had been a first-round pick for the Falmouth Falcons, but after a back injury that put him in the hospital for weeks and weeks and then left him in physical therapy for months after that, his quidditch career was over. All he knew was quidditch—he had lived, breathed, and slept quidditch for so long that he didn’t know what else to do when it didn’t work out. Becoming an auror was the easy choice for him. He was smart, he was a Potter, and he wanted to help people. Fuck the fact that the department was run by his father—James was going to be better than Harry. “I don’t know, that kid is stubborn as fuck,” he replied, leaning back on his palms. “And if he’s not willing to see you as anything other than the man, then maybe he’s not worth it.”

[jsirius]

tenaciousteddylupin:

Teddy let out a sigh, he knew James wasn’t going to change his mind but it never hurt to try. He was good at his job but it always seemed to cost him his mental health, any semblance of happiness. He was sure he wasn’t the only person to notice. “Do you want his spot?” He asked curiously, wondering whether maybe he had changed his mind on the matter. “Or is this still a sense of duty, James?” He leaned back on his arms, looking over at his brother. “I don’t want a new career path.” He said, a little too quickly. His shoulders dropped and he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s hard working for the Ministry- sometimes I think it goes against everything I stand for but…” He admitted. “I think I can do the most good where I am right now. I don’t want to risk that.” 

James was an excellent auror. There was no denying it. He had studied hard and he worked hard and he had a high arrest rate—all things that contributed to his promotion to senior auror. However, everything he did was colored by the resentment he held for his father, so deep set that he didn’t even realize that part of what drove him to be so good at his job was the fact that he wanted nothing more than to be better than Harry—and, even deeper down, he was still seeking Harry’s approval. Maybe that was the worst part of it all was that after everything Harry had done, the moment he said that James was good enough, James was bound to go running back to his family like nothing had happened. “I don’t know,” he replied, shrugging. “I think I’d be good at it. But that’s still a long way off.” James nodded. “I know what you mean,” he replied. “I mean, protesting is great and all but—the Ministry doesn’t listen if you’re just yelling.”

[jsirius]

lilyqueenlpotter:

“Wait are you serious ?” The smile on lily face vanishes . ‘I’m sure the daily prophet would love to hear about that.” It was more of a statement then an actual joke. “It wouldn’t be your fault if you did “

“Of course not, I could never leave you behind,” he replied with a snort. James nodded. “I’m sure that people in the department would actually thank me for hexing him. He gets under everyone’s skin because he’s not only awful at home, he’s awful at work, too.”

[jsirius]

albiesevs:

“Oh Merlin, if any other child is ever subjected to this shit show of a name I don’t know what I would do.” Albus shook his head quickly, running a hand over his face. “You can fantasize about arresting them all you want if you randomly see one of them on the street, but when you’re working please just focus on that? I don’t want to have to kick your arse because you went and got yourself injured.”

“At least if another kid gets the name, they might not even know who Severus Snape was, so there’s that. You got stuck with the worst name in the family, though. Lily and I got off easy on that front.” He laughed. “I promise, I’m completely focused at work. I’m good at it, you know—some people say I’m better than Dad was when he was my age, and that’s all I need.”

[jsirius]

xdominiqueweasleyx:

Dominique frowned. She was rather unsure of the conversation. “Oh,” she said, a little confused. “I–I didn’t think–okay. Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

James shrugged. “It’s the usual shite,” he replied simply. He tilted his head to the side, pausing for a moment. “Is there anything you wanted to talk about? I know that I’m a bloody big narcissist, but I can care about other people. Even if it doesn’t seem that way.”

[jsirius]

scorpiusvmalfoy:

“Until what? You’re right and I turn out to be some terrible person? Stop being so sterotypical James.” Whether he was right or not, his family really wasn’t all that bad. Maybe their pasts were, but they were different now. Even his dad had changed a lot since his years of Hogwarts, and maybe that was because he had a son to look after, but either way he changed. So he wasn’t sure why James had to distrust him so much. Or was it simply because he was dating his sister? “Pretty sure the only time you talk about me, is when you’re talking about how much you hate me to my face. Or do you complain to you parents too?” He rolled his eyes a bit before letting out a sigh. “James, Lily and I have been together for over two years and we’ve never even gotten into an argument. So why do you always think I’m going to hurt her?”

“Until something happens to prove to me, one way or another, whether or not I should trust you.” James’ eyes burned at Scorpius’ next comment. “You’ve been dating Lily long enough to know how terrible things have been for us,” he replied sharply. “I’m going to be protective of her until I’m convinced that you’re worth her time. Our dad sure as hell isn’t going to do it, so you’re just going to have to work on impressing me instead.” James shoved his hands deeply into his pockets. He knew he was being unfair, but fairness didn’t matter to him in this case. He just knew that Lily was a giant slice of his world, and anyone else in her atmosphere would have to pass rigorous tests until James was satisfied.

[jsirius]

finchxfletchley:

“Merlin, I so do want to take care of you.” Eli gave in with a whine at the sight of James’ pout. “You always have the worst days and I always have to make it up for you.” He spoke quietly, pecking kisses along his neck. He spoke as if it were some hassle to shower James with affection when in reality, it was anything but. “Not used to coming home to me yet?” Eli’s head tilted with a grin, catching his lips for a quick kiss. 

“Always bad days, always you taking care of me. Every night.” James wrapped his arms tightly around Elijah, just looking at him with an absolutely lovestruck gaze. “No, not yet. I almost expected to come home to you having gone back to New York,” he said softly. “I’m so glad that you’re still here.” James had gotten so used to being on his own that he had forgotten how nice it was to come home to someone.

[jsirius]

scorpiusvmalfoy:

“Well, you should know that your senses are wrong, James. I’ve never committed a crime and I sure don’t plan on doing so today.” He understood his concern for both Albus and Lily, but making Scorpius out to be a bad guy was always something he never understood. Maybe it was simply because he was a Malfoy, and he had always hated that about having the last name. People seemed to immediately think the worst. His eyes rolled slightly at his question. “Is that a rhetorical question? You know I see her nearly every single day.” James had seemed to be the one Potter kid who really didn’t like him, and maybe he had a good reason, but he’d never dream of hurting Albus or Lily, or anyone for that matter. “Why though? Have you not seen her?”

“Yeah, but it’s just a matter of time.” James had to have inherited his father’s inherent distrust of Malfoys—or perhaps it was instilled in him—and the fact of the matter was that no matter who his siblings dated, he was going to be their toughest critic. The fact that it was Scorpius meant he had two strikes against him—and because he was dating Lily, who James had always babied, that was the third strike. James didn’t feel any real need to be nice to him, not until some unspecified point where he had finally proven his trustworthiness. “I don’t know. I’m just checking.” James pressed his lips together. “I’ve seen her, but we don’t really talk about you.”

[jsirius]

tenaciousteddylupin:

Teddy frowned, staring out at the horizon. It was always difficult comforting James. He knew Harry had made some terrible mistakes when it came to the parenting of his first biological child, but having never been on the receiving end of any potentially harmful choices he wasn’t exactly sure how to be supportive. Harry had treated him so well over the years. Even when he had explained Pansexuality, his Godfather had nodded and smiled in understanding. But that hadn’t been James’ experience, and Teddy was sure it was because he wasn’t Harry’s son. Perhaps, if he had been, then he would have been met with the same confusion and passive aggressiveness. It upset him to think his childhood hero could get things so terribly wrong when it came to his children. “You know, your future isn’t written in stone?” He said quietly. “There’s still time to choose a new career path, James… one where you don’t have to see your dad every day.” 

James knew that the standards for him versus the rest of the family, including Teddy, were different. Teddy wasn’t really Harry’s son—all Harry could do was try and help him out when he needed it, but other than that, steer clear. Albus was the favorite son, with his quiet demeanor and his willingness to help out. Lily was the baby of the family, and the only girl—Harry would never, ever treat her like he had treated James. No, the brunt of his anger was always reserved for James, because James had his father’s name and looked like his father, because James was the first of Harry’s children and Harry projected all of his thoughts and aspirations onto James, and because James was always the one who had let him down. “I don’t know, it seems like the right thing for me to do. And my dad will retire sometime, and when he does, I’ll take his spot,” he added with a shrug. “You could always choose a new one, too.”

[jsirius]

finchxfletchley:

“Tomorrow.” Elijah dismissed, waving his hand so the papers flew to create nice stacks on the desk in the corner of the room. He let out a groan with a light roll of his eyes, “Oh. Don’t tell me that.” His nose wrinkled as he spoke against James’ lips. “Because then I’ll have to take care of it.” Eli explained, moving to kiss along his jawline. “One of these days you’ll tell me it was a great day at work and then we can just go to sleep right away.” He teased.

James rolled over so that Eli could lay on top of him, his arms wrapping fully around Elijah’s torso to hold him tightly. “You don’t want to take care of me?” he asked, pouting and turning slightly to press kisses against the side of Eli’s face. “And I’m never going to tell you it’s a great day, so you never have to worry about that. I’ll lie if I have to,” he teased, grinning brightly at Elijah as he pulled away just enough to look at him. “I love you, by the way. And I love that you’re here.”

[jsirius]

albiesevs:

“It’s not cute, I already have the shittiest two names Dad could think of the last thing I need is anyone calling me Alby on top of that. If you were anyone else I’d jinx you, Jamie.” He made a face, shaking his head slightly. “You can’t arrest them just for being dicks James. Besides it was years ago now, I’m over it.”

“It’s so cute, and I’m going to keep calling you Alby if you’re going to keep calling me Jamie. I love the name Albus Severus, though. I definitely think there should be an Albus Severus the Second, you know?” James shrugged. “Yeah, maybe I can’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize about it constantly.”

[jsirius]

albiesevs:

“Don’t call me Alby.” Albus pouted slightly, crossing his arms slightly in front of his chest. He eventually sighed after a short moment and followed after him. “They aren’t supposed to be out here anymore, their curfew was hours ago. Although that never really stopped me from sneaking back out and getting trashed, especially after Quidditch.” Albus chuckled slightly. “I don’t know, this can’t be worse than Dad still bossing you around all the time.” He shrugged. “I know everyone hates it, compared to the kids that used to kick the shit out of me for liking it falling asleep is nothing. I just want to get one student to learn to love it.”

“Why not? I think it’s so cute.” He reached a hand out and pinched Albus’ cheek jokingly. “My baby brother Alby,” he cooed before dropping his hand and laughing. He ordered shots of firewhiskey for both of them before pulling his legs up so that he could sit with his legs tucked under him in the booth in the back. “Yeah, I remember that,” he said with a huff of laughter. “We weren’t exactly subtle,” he added. James sighed. “Sometimes I run into those dickweeds in Diagon Alley and I really have to resist the urge to arrest them.”

[jsirius]

lilyqueenlpotter:

“I think your being a little over dramatic.Oh you know you i love you . I was just messing with you cause it what i do best .. Oh yeah your right thats no fun what so ever . “

“One of these days, I’m not going to forgive you so easily, you know. You’re going to make fun of me and I’m just going to leave.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s killing me, slowly but surely. Or, I’m going to end up hexing him and getting fired.”

[jsirius]

tenaciousteddylupin:

Teddy smiled, stepping carefully as he made his way over to James. It would be so typical of him to die tripping over a roof tile, he didn’t want to give people the satisfaction of predictability. He sat down, eyeing the haze of smoke his brother had just exhaled. “Muggles say those things can kill you.” He said quietly, only half teasing. It was no secret he liked to baby the Wotter clan. That was his job after all, as their eldest sibling, and he didn’t like what he heard about cigarettes. “And your secret is safe with me, even if it barely counts as a hiding spot. It doesn’t take a genius to know you’re up here, James…” He watched him carefully, softening his tone. “So, are you going to tell me what you’re hiding from?”

James shrugged. “Muggles say a lot of shite can kill you, I’m not inclined to believe them on all of it.” He snubbed the cigarette out agains the cement on the roof, letting out a long sigh. “Everything. I just want to—” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Up here’s the only time I get a break from all of that, you know, working with my dad and the Order and trying to convince the rest of the family that mine and Eli’s wedding is not going to turn into some stupid shouting match like the last family event I went to.” James was too fiery—he had trouble hiding his feelings when it came to Harry, and after repressing it all at work all the time, any other time he saw Harry, he was liable to explode.

[jsirius]

lilyqueenlpotter:

“Well i ain’t dead soo.” she states . “Ok that bad a bad joke but to answer your real question yes i am “ Lily had a hard time coming to terms what was going on in her family household when she was younger , heck even know the topic was a sensitive subject for her . “Glad you came out of hiding , for a second there i thought you forgot i existed “

“At least there’s that,” he replied, shaking his head. “You know that I’m just trying to look out for you, why do you treat me like this? I’ve been nothing but nice to you our entire lives, except for a couple of years in between, but to be fair, I was a closeted teenager, so I was bound to be awful.” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, you’d be in hiding too if you had to go to work with Dad everyday.”

[jsirius]

xdominiqueweasleyx:

Dominique had just opened her mouth to say that she thought her cousin could use a bit more rest and drink some more water when he beat her to the punchline. She just wanted to look out for her family, even though it occasionally come off as a little judgmental. She swallowed the sleep, and she swallowed the water. But, she still managed to say, “What’s got you in a mood?”

James wrinkled his nose. “On top of normal stuff, I have to plan a wedding while Gran is breathing down my neck. She’s just waiting for me to pop out a couple of kids—metaphorically, that is—which means she’s trying to get me married off as soon as possible. Not to mention, my dad is the worst and my mum does nothing to stop him from being the worst, so, of course, he’s judging me for all of it.”

[jsirius]

albiesevs:

Albus hugged his brother back tighter than he usually would, but in result he pulled away just a half a second faster, rocking back on his heels slightly. He wasn’t ignorant, but he had tried for as long as he could to pretend this wasn’t all happening. Being hidden away at Hogwarts did make that easier for a while, but seeing the war quickly taking over the lives of the young children he spent every day with made that realization hit that much harder. “I wasn’t going to leave you to wander Hogsmeade by yourself all night.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair and tugging on the ends of it. He almost had missed the time they had agreed to meet, so wrapped up in lesson plans he had quickly lost track of the time. “Why don’t we go get a drink?”

James laughed softly. “I can take care of myself, Alby,” he replied. “But it’s nice to know that you’re willing to be my dashing escort.” He reached a hand up and squeezed at Albus’ shoulder once before starting to walk towards the Three Broomsticks. “As long as it’s not going to be overrun with your students, I’d love a drink,” he joked lightly. “I don’t know how you stand it. I think about myself when I was in Hogwarts and I cringe so badly. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to deal with throngs of kids that age in the class that everyone falls asleep in.” He turned to walk backwards for a moment, looking at Albus. “No offense, though. I know you’re brilliant at it.”