I may not say much and I can be complicated at times but the first thing I want you to understand is that I don’t hurt people and I would never hurt you. There is just some actions I need to make in order to make things easier for you even if it’s harder for me, maybe you never knew this part but I have had my heart broken by you so many times. But I don’t hate you for it nor rub it in your face to use it against you, I want you to understand that at point in my life you meant the world to me.
You! We’re my happiness, my best friend, my tutor, you we’re my answer. Seriously you we’re all I wanted for the rest of my life, you we’re everything I wasn’t looking for and ended up being everything I would kill for. We had a lot of differences and disagrees, you would see life in a different way that I did and you would even go to church. Yes we weren’t the same but it made things so perfect. I loved listening to you and reading you. You really don’t talk with your heart many times you use a lot of logic and base yourself on what your mom taught you. I wouldn’t just hear what you said but I wl actually listen. Understand and reflect on what you would say, I could read your eyes and your body language. There wasn’t something I couldn’t understand of you. Nathalia I think of you everyday and yes I still think of what could of happened but I still love day by day and focus on what I am doing on the moment. I may be cold and quite but it shouldn’t surprise you haha I wasn’t the most open person when I saw you for the first time eating those chips remember? I also want to apologize Nat, I know I did wrong at times and I also hurt you and I want to apologize for all I did wrong to you. I want you to understand this of me. I don’t do things and expect something in return and I love to learn and not be so naive. You are the best that has happened to me and you will always be the first person I truly fell in love with, the first person I understood, the first person to accept me and actually listen to me when I needed to let things out and you are the only person to still make me cry while thinking of you and not because of pain. I have always said to myself tears are happiness of beautiful memories. You are not just a memory Nat you are my peanut, weirdo, my cat and my artist. I want you to finish school and Nat if you were to come back into my life in 5 years for example I we both happened to be single. I would maybe start things better of than I did the first time but I would still try and infinate amount of times to have you fall in love with me and keep you happy no matter the situation. I don't hate you and no! I will never forget you. But this cactus does have to move on and focus on building his future also. I still have a lot of memories of us, I still cry when I think of you and I still love you. Perdon por cambiar a español por un momento pero Nathalia TE AMO! Y lo digo con el significado que esa palabra tiene par ti. En realidad eres lo mejor que me a pasado. I come back to English haha, Promise me like you just did about 10 minutes ago that you will focus on yourself and than others first, you will let me know if this answered some questions, if you cried of happiness, if you will take me back if we saw eachother again in 5 years, that you won't be sad and you won't start with you anxiety again, and last but not least you will write a text directed to me for me to read and you will answer questions of mine before even asking them. I know you like this lite games and all haha I know you better than my self. Nathalia te ame, te amo, y té de amar jijiji, hoy y siempre, a la Luna y de regreso, y siempre estas los mas cerca possible a mi corazon en forma de aguacate ( si! No me lo Quito ) pero mas que nada estas en mi mente que bien sabes de ahi no saldras nunca. Te amo Barud With lots of love: a stranger you never imagined to be so odd. A stranger who is to weird to live but to rare a to die. A stranger who is so weird a peculiar that you found him to be interesting.
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