it&#x27;s just us

Alright. ...Might be best for me to go back to relaxing then.

Mm, I'm sure Gabe'll be up soon. Let me know if you need anything.

...Anything else?

[Jules sipped at her own water.] Nothing in particular.

...Fine.

[Jules leaned back against the headboard again.] Good.

...So what am I supposed to do about that?

Talk to your OBGYN as soon as you see them next. And probably get a referral for a psychiatrist.

There's two parasites living in my body! [Spencer suddenly snapped.] If I actually expressed my feelings, I'd be in a straight jacket right now!

It's really not as uncommon as you think it is. Some women who purposely got pregnant with their partners have a compete disconnection before and after birth. No one's putting them in straight jackets.

My 'body and brain' aren't going to somehow hate this less if I try to trick myself into thinking I wouldn't be a terrible mother.

[Jules sighed and shook her head.] You're not getting my point. Let's take the horrible mother part of it out of the equation if that will help. People who are already dealing with mental health struggles for any reason are even more likely to have post partum depression. And it is a bitch. So what I'm trying to tell you is that you need to take care of yourself and not just shove everything you're feeling into a box like it doesn't exist.

...Doesn't matter. They're not my kids, [Spencer said coldly. Clearly shutting down.]

We're not talking about them right now. We're talking about you and what you're body and brain are about to go through because they do not care.

[Spencer crossed her arms tighter.] ...It doesn't matter.

It absolutely matters. We're going to take care of your mental health same as your physical. No matter the specific circumstances, this is still gonna cause some trauma for you and the babies. We want to do everything we can to get you through that.

...I'm not doing it either way, so it's a difference without distinction, [Spencer murmured with her arms crossed.]

Only if you're not gonna let it cause you to think less of yourself.

"Fear", "unfit". Tomato, tomahto, [Spencer sassed.]

Those are not the same thing at all. Lots of people are scared to do things they have the potential to be great at. Being afraid you're unfit and actually being unfit are totally different.

I "place much higher value on my independence than others" and "thrive from a flexible lifestyle without obstacles that slow me down", [Spencer parroted.] Oh. And let's not forget my favorite. How I'm, "creating distance between myself and 'the fetus' via my use of the word 'it'".

Overly-independent selfish bitch that's unfit to be a mother. Just because you can't speak Nikko doesn't mean I can't.

Mm, he may have had a point on that last one. [Jules admitted with a tilt of her head.] But I think that comes from a lot of fear.

I said basically, [Spencer reiterated.]

Mmhmm, I fear you may be exaggerating a little.

[Spencer scoffed lightly.] You clearly weren't there for the first couple conversations Nikko and I had when I first fell into this mess.

You should've been. You probably would've appreciated seeing how one of the kindest people on the planet manages to basically call someone an overly-independent, selfish, and stubborn bitch that's unfit to be a mother. ...And be right.

Nikko did not call you a bitch. He has chats with my kids about why they shouldn't use the word 'dumb'. And one of them only knows like four words.