jake kim x reader
how did it end
you meet him three weeks before he is supposed to get out of juvie.
"i have got so much to tell you. i can't wait to meet you after so long." he is barely able to contain the excitement in his voice. it's so pure it's almost off-putting given in the place you are. how could this guy be in such a place when his motives were never unjustified? for you, that is, for the rest of the world, it's hard to say.
big deal is all about romanticism and that romantic nature didn't seem ever to leave jake.
"let's watch that movie together you wanted to watch," is what he suggests as one of the first things you two could do after such a long while.
he always had your back and so did you. be it you going to him for comfort after dating all those trashy guys and being in trashy situations or be it for him coming to you knowing no one may get him in the whole of big deal except you, how you would go on and on about the most random of things sometimes. how he says, "i really wanted to hear you laugh." it's undeniable whatever you both have in between.
the movie suggestion had you thinking of you both cuddled on the sofa, with the both of you not having your hands to yourselves. his hands roaming onto your thighs scribbling something.
the way he's got you feeling is like a high school girl in love. that's what you were when you first met him. how fitting it is you think to yourself.
…
as the day of his release was coming closer the rumours were getting to each and everyone's ears in big deal.
"what do you think, jerry? has he really changed?" you ask jake's sword who is as hesitant to answer your question as you are to think about his changed demeanour.
days go by you couldn't help but have this giddiness all the time. you thought the cards were stacked in your favour. this was the perfect time when you could meet jake and have time off to spend with him.
if only this perfect time could last. you're only waiting for the day when jake is released now. only he could provide you with the comfort you need is the thought on your mind.
the day comes when you meet him. whatever happened has let you know it will be quite different from all your daydreams.
he meets you on the big deal street. you find him waiting for you. the first thing he asks for is a hug which you happily comply.
you both are here at the coffee shop that you chose, sitting with beverages in your hands. it's all good, may not be in the way you both had imagined but it wasn't as bad as your imagination. this is just the kind of break you need to get over what had happened.
"i know this is unexpected. i'm sorry for that. i have to leave tomorrow." he's dumbfounded at your words.
"where to?" he asks wanting to know what is this urgency that has you leaving.
"i have to go home." jake takes in your words.
"let's go somewhere else."
you're at his place.
he takes you by your hand, pulling you in. his arms are encircled around your waist. your face slightly peeking through his shoulders.
"i lost my.."
he doesn't need you saying anything further. he knows what you mean as always without you needing to say it for him. you both are in the middle of his living room staying still just wanting to be in each other's presence. this is what you needed.
"give me your hand." you do as he asks. "it's so small." you feign annoyance at his remark and bury your head in his chest. "it's not so small."
he pulls back to tuck your hair behind your ears to rest his forehead against yours. he leans in to see whether you want this too.
"if you want to do something, right now is when you should do it."
"i can't.. you know this is not the right time."
he gets behind you, pulls you close by your waist and his hands rest there while yours come to rest atop his, his lips are on your neck. he's waiting for the okay which you are hesitant to give.
"this may be the last time we're able to get close to each other." this time you are shocked at his words. you turn around to face him. "what do you mean this is the last time?"
"i've decided for you to retire from big deal."
"how can you decide that for me?"
"big deal is changing. i just got out of juvie. i don't want you to be dealing with anything like that."
there's sense in what he's saying but it's too abrupt to be dropped on you like this.
"i know i'm putting you on the spot." you find yourself enveloped by his warmth again. his explanation is muffled because his face is buried in your hair.
you pull away to listen to his words clearly but he doesn't allow that, his hand burying in your hair and guiding you to his chest.
you have an argument forming on your lips but he has you cut off by his words. you're too taken aback to make sense of it. you look up at him your hands resting on his which are now cupping your face. what he wants is evident. he leans into you again.
"i could kiss you right now if that's what you want."
"i'd want that any other day. now is not the right time."
"when would be the right time then?"
"anything but now. you know what i'm going through right now. i was waiting for you before. i would have wished to do so much more then."
"i get it. it's okay. i don't want to force anything on you."
"it's not okay. you're saying it's the last time."
"i'm just saying if you want to do something now is the time. after that i want you to move on."
"i can't move on after doing this with you. it's n-"
you take a step back to look up at him. he has his arms wrapped around you once more.
"it is okay."
you both can't come to a middle ground. before long he says, "you should leave. you have to get ready to go back home." time has slipped from your hands both for now and for this situationship of yours for years. you know you couldn't argue with him on this. you had to leave.
back at home, you realise jake did change. back at home, you realise he did tell you everything even when it felt like he didn't. back at home, you realise for all the times he said it was okay, it wasn't.
