Mess™

There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to the existence of this blog · 25 · Queer · Leo · she/they

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[hurlanachronism]

i think it's awesome that there's weed for cats and we just give it to them

[tumblrrr]

[plumknodel]

no more catboys. catmen . 28 yr old washed up depressed catman downing his 5th whiskey glass and his cat ears twitch depressedly

[lekosis]

And then he pushes the empty glass forlornly off the counter

[darkcomedies]

one can imagine that the bond between a woman in her twenties and snoopy is comparable to the pledge of nuns to jesus christ

[mini-wrants]

Only good reason for TikTok.

[justhavetofeelthewaves]

Okay but. She's drinking Parkers estate wine. PARKER. That was his name and winery. She absolutely nailed this, we don't deserve her.

[paracausalwraith]

you ever take a shower and suddenly you're human again

[paracausalwraith]

[2000ish]

[the-art-of-the-meme-deactivated]

[ladyshinga]

Kids are funny.

I just had a random memory of a friends’ kid when she was about six or seven, when she cornered a couple of us at a get-together and says “wanna know what my dad had for lunch?”

We figured this was, while unusual, a pretty straight-forward conversation starter. “Sure”, we said.

We were NOT prepared. She went on this EPIC storytelling monologue about the restaurant and Italy and the art on the walls and some dramatic story she made up ABOUT the art on the walls. We were enraptured. No idea what was going on but by god we were hooked. At no point does she mention food.

The next week, similar get-together with the same people. Same friend I’m talking to. Same child walks up. “Wanna know what my dad had for lunch?”

But NOW we’re prepared, we’re excited. We’re about to hear some SHIT. We grin in anticipation. “Sure!”

“A salad.”

She walks off, seemingly unaware she just set up the funniest fucking week-long joke my friend and I had ever heard

[sexygaywizard]

"congress investigating now :) but i stay silly :3" is honestly such a serve I've been thinking "but i stay silly :3" all day... holy fucking bingle

[netherworldpost]

I am going to remember this image forever, it will save me so much time

[netherworldpost]

Another

[cursed--alien]

"It's actually your fault that your paranoia is making you misinterpret my post, and in fact you're doing it on purpose"

You sound like my dad when he told me I have anxiety attacks on purpose because I "like the attention"

[veteranofathousandpsychicwars]

It's amazing to me that you managed to do exactly what this post is talking about without taking a moment to reflect and recognize that.

[beardedmrbean]

[nezdanyu]

That ... was unexpected

[mystery-moose]

The following two posts were shown in this exact order as I scrolled down my dash and the arrangement was so perfect I felt the need to preserve it in amber forever:

[saywhat-politics]

The right to bare arms

[redstonedust]

weirdest side effect of the pandemic is how many people i know who get sick and say 'but my covid tests are negative so i should be fine' like you know other illnesses. exist. right.

[dontmakemeturnthisuniversearound]

.

[funnytwittertweets]