@jun-saddump - Tumblr Blog

anyways, i’m in a happy and healthy relationship and i’m incredibly grateful and swooned <3

#relationship talks #yes hi hello i adore him #my boyfriend is the best

it’s been almost a year now and you STILL feel the need to be fucking bitter and message my friends trying to turn them against me and talk trash????

you have a boyfriend. worry about that and leave me tf alone.

#ex talks #you were not the saint in the relationship and neither was i #we both made mistakes jfc move on

wow i love being misgendered and feeling like dysphoric trash...

#a friend of mom’s came over and he knows i am trans #but said i am a girl now???#since when did i jump back into the closet #i am so frustrated and upset now

i’m not gonna go trying to message him or contact him. if i’m such an annoyance or burden then maybe a friendship really isn’t just meant to last.

#ex friends talks #negative #blocked for showing the worst symptoms of my mental illness #when i have listened to you talk about everything you have ever wanted to #that is fake shit right there

not all of us are mentally stable enough to balance a job and school at the same time.

i overworked myself in high school by doing college at the same time. it’s too stressful for me, i can’t do it. i know, i’ve fucking tried.

and it’s not like i’m sitting here doing absolutely nothing all day. i do ALL the housework and the kids mess it right up. i also start college again in the fall.

i’m doing shit. need to jump on everyone else who isn’t.

#family talks #i love my godmother but jfc shut the hell up #i do everything you ask me to do #like get off my damn case #sorry im not mentally healthy like you

i just really... really don’t feel wanted and it fucking hurts.

#friend talks #negative #why are all of my friends so closed off and flaky #like i offer emotional support all the time but whenever i wanna vent they dont know what to say #which is fine but damn...

please make the hurt go away...

#god it hurts #please help me

i keep filling myself up with false hope. and it’s ridiculous. i don’t deserve happiness. i don’t deserve good things. i don’t deserve him... and if he moves on i have to be okay with it...

but as selfish as it is, i want him. i don’t want anybody else to be able to love and touch him the way i do. just the thought of it makes me sick...

it hurts so bad.

#ex talks #i’m sorry i can’t move on #you deserve so much better...

my dumbass is completely heartbroken because of a stupid dream.

#he doesn’t even like me in that way so i have no room to be getting upset #he has made it clear that sex is fine but he doesn’t know about a relationship again #idk...everything hurts

my eyes are swollen from all the digusting crying i did and now i don’t even wanna leave my room even though it’s hot as hell cus i don’t want anyone to see me like this.

#negative talks #it’ll just be the same are you okay question #like no obviously not

i want to die.

#s*icide talks #negative #it’s not even a half-joke anymore i wanna die #i am so fucking pathetic lmao

i deserve to be hurting for being so fucking stupid.

#breakup talks #negative #self hate

i hate being so fucking indecisive..

#self talks #negative #will i ever be functional and happy

why can’t i move on?

wtf is wrong with me?

#breakup talks #it doesnt even feel like things ended #but i still feel so numb sometimes