.
No more visits to the holy place, Mister?
Am I placeholder for you?
You think bringing someone holy into your house is enough to make YOU holy? Am I like a cross you put into your wall?
A cross, you lay on your bed?
+
I wasn't lying you know, when I said I was a virgin.
You seem oh so hesitant, guilty. But I know you. We ALL know your kind.
It wasn't me frantically pinning my hands on the bed.
'Good? Feels good, Nara?'
You're so obsessed with my approval, you don't realize that, do you?
+
You were looking for forgiveness, but this is far too sweet.
That car barely left my holy place now, always waiting.
Your own driver judges you, stealing looks at the young boy wearing black with shining beads of crystal on his neck, a cross at the end, glimmering, expensive.
I bet it isn't even that good. My inexperienced mouth wet and sloppy between your legs. But it's the nature of it isn't it? You're not supposed to have me, and yet here I am.
Eventually, you kept me around, even during meetings with strangers, they all judge you, they all know.
+
Why do you even like me, you question yourself.
Well Mister, You want to know why?
Because I am crazy good.
And you're an idiot addicted to sweetness.
I made you feel this pleasure, you understand how it is, it's not ME you're addicted to, it's the sin, the very sin you tried to wash away.
The wrongness of it, the little boy, barely eighteen, under your desk, nails on your thigh, trying to talk while he’s choking all the way down.
You think I manipulated you?
The little temptress?
But it was YOU who shove me on my knees. YOU who pin me to your bed.
Not because I tempt you.
You think you own me.
Mister, it's the other way around.
Because I'm too sweet.
I'm too evil.
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