scarebear

joel metzger · bugbear · 52

[junkyardjoel]

What's you favorite limb?

That's private.

[stardustonthebay]

ATTENTION WICKED'S RESTERS:

It is hot. They are hot. They are also hungry! They being the least loved of our critter friends, the trash babies. Leave snacks for the raccoons and possums and rats, please and thanks, otherwise the Arson Raccoon is going to be a problem this summer. And the summer is already hot enough. So... GET ON IT. Put those pizza leftovers in the trash bin and play them some nice restaurant music or whatever.

[junkyardjoel]

The... arson raccoon?

[hotbearsawyer]

[pm] You're welcome! Ah, that's still cool though. Good to have something to pass the time. I'm always like doodling or writing when bored at work. Ugh, yeah, insurance. The owner is like us, but I guess he missed out on having any creativity or just wants the place to look super bland. Whenever I get a different job though, I'll be taking your sculpture with me. No way I'm leaving it there when I'm gone!

[junkyardjoel]

[pm] Is that why you work there? Because he's like us, I mean. [...] Guess making it bland is a good way to stay on the... what do they call it? Low down? No, that means something else...

[incatsclothing]

Come on. Isn't that, like, ideal composting shit? Do you not care about the environment? [user knows nothing about the environment or composting.] Just some old shit I don't really need anymore. Clothes, decor. You could probably find a use for it.

[junkyardjoel]

I wouldn't know. [...] I'm sure there's a skip or refuse bin somewhere you could throw a bag of that kinda stuff into. Would be easier than tryna chuck it over my fence.

[incatsclothing]

It sounds exactly like a dump. Isn't there some saying about one man's trash being another person's treasure? I've got so much treasure you can have. I won't even charge you for it. We can do an even trade!

[junkyardjoel]

Yeah well I don't got much use for egg shells and toenail clippings, so that rubbish ain't for me. [...] What are you trying to ditch, anyway?

[junkyardjoel]

@hotbearsawyer replied to your post “[pm] So I spotted a couple sculptures when I was...”:

[pm] They look awesome tbh. [...] Actually, I've been wanting to spice up my office. It's so drab. I mean, I've got, like, some taxidermy and bones scattered around, but it needs something more eye-catching and unique. Could I possibly buy one? Totally get if you'd rather not, but figured I might as well ask.

​[pm] [ user has to google what tbh means. maybe he's never seen it before, maybe he forgot ] Ah... thanks. [ user is rubbish at accepting compliments. this is as good as it gets ] You can buy one, sure. Ain't got much use for em once they're done. Mostly just a way to pass the time. [...] What'd you say you did for work again? Insurance? Imagine that warrants some spicing up, yeah.

[zackbanes]

I don't think I can imagine anything scarier than being on some huge, creaky ship in the middle of the ocean and then the power goes out. Thanks for the new nightmare scenario, haha. But that would be great. I got some advice from my landlord friend this guy I friend someone friend who's a firefighter, and some gloves to make sure it's everything is safe.

[junkyardjoel]

[ user will not make an easy meal out of this, user will not make an easy meal-- ] Heh, my pleasure. Yeah? Good. Not being shy about picking other people's brains is a smart trait to have, lad. Learn heaps that way. It'll get you all kinds of niche knowledge like I got, some day in your distant future.

[junkyardjoel]

@incatsclothing replied to your post “Can anybody drop shit off at the dump, or are...”:

You have to pay to dump shit? That's a crazy grift, dude.

​This ain't a dump, it's a salvage yard. I can't move or repurpose literal rubbish.

[junkyardjoel]

[pm] So I spotted a couple sculptures when I was leaving the other night. They were totally sick. And I know I just met Baz, but the sculptures didn't seem like their style. Are they yours or just something someone dropped off one day?

[pm] Oh. They're [...........] mine. I mean I make them. For fun.

[zackbanes]

I'm not kissing ass! I'm genuinely and sincerely complimenting you! Well, the theoretical stuff would more be the metaphor. Like, I would very much want to build a real battery. If you could help. That would be amazing, honestly. Should've known you'd be something of an electrician too. You do that when you were out on the oil tanker too?

[junkyardjoel]

Mmm, see, that there's the real problem, haha. Sure though, I can help. Be glad to. Ah, yeah, I did a bit. Weren't really in the job description, but staffing being what it was... we all had to branch out a bit. And with storms as nasty as them, keeping the power on was both difficult and crucial. And I worked with a bunch of pansy arsed lads who was always bricking it when they got told to get out there in the chaos and fix something.

[theo-wallace]

Haha true. Oh nice! Are you like a builder?

[junkyardjoel]

Of sorts. Work mostly with metal for my day job, but I'm keen on just about any kind of home improvement. Done a bit of everything over the decades.

[whimmortal]

[pm] Maybe the reason you're forgetting about booze is booze...

Oh god, I know you're just saying that but I really hope to not be in charge of something like that.

[junkyardjoel]

[pm] Nah.... couldn't be.... booze don't make you forget things...

Oh sure, that joke assumes a lot that ain't true. Anyway, I'd make Baz do it, heh.

[junkyardjoel]

Can anybody drop shit off at the dump, or are there, like, rules?

Anyone can, though I'd prefer being alerted to it. Generally, it ain't free. Also, this ain't a dump... so no kitchen rubbish, boxes, that sorta thing. It's a scrapyard, for scrap. Old cars, busted lawnmowers, other equipment, etc. What you looking to offload?

[junkyardjoel]

[ Initially, Baz did look for a normal wig. They tried very hard! They looked at all the boring black and brown and blonde and ginger wigs, but they were so boring! How can Baz be expected to buy a boring wig? Joel deserves something more exciting! And so, Baz inevitably ended up in the section of the store with the more brightly colored wigs. This one caught their eye because of the volume; they thought it would suit Joel very well! They leave it on his bed with a grin, excited at the prospect of him wearing it. ] 

[bollcks]

THE BOYS 1x05 | Good for the Soul

[highoctanegem]

I'll never give you head, bud, I prommy <3 Oh, but that's super subjective, amirite? Like, the mental image of you partying hard with Baz around town is incredible, sure, but whatever you do has to be exciting for you and nobody else. Tea and a book can be a hardcore boost for you, the way going out to rollerskate is for me. Instant tea? Like powder and stuff? Hello? We're doing that? I'm shaking rn, please tell me this is a joke.

OH! Both are apps. Kinda like... um, Facebook, did you have that one? People use them to post about their lives. You know the way people used to write letters and make phone calls? Well, you were there, of course, you do. So, exactly like that, but now everybody can see what you're up to, and it doesn't take 3 months to find out. I mean, I wouldn't blame ya if the only social media you have these days is this one. I kinda like how barebones it is. And chronological, we've taken that for granted. But I wouldn't hate it if they introduced a short vid section. [...] You know what? I see that. Like, less inviting. Yup. Green's warmer and friendlier. Like, red or brown or other sittable colors. Good for us, having taste.

[junkyardjoel]

[ user cringes to himself ] Good. [...] Rollerskating, huh? Never tried it. Dunno if my balance is good enough for it. [ user has great balance ] You ain't ever seen this shit? God love her, but my friend uses it at her gastropub for the iced tea. It's a bit of an affront, yeah. I'll get her on the right path, though.

I didn't. But I understand the concept, yeah. Bit like this, only with more fanfare, right? This is about all I can manage, haha. Hmm... short videos. Sounds like a time sink.

[brassandrot]

[pm] How could you possibly be trouble?

And all the other birds, yes. Or well on a normal day. Things are fucked lately.

[junkyardjoel]

[pm] Oh I dunno, I'm likely trouble for most folks that gotta deal with me, hehe.

Huh. I can't talk to bears. [ user wonders if this is a deficiency. his parents never mentioned communicating with bears, and when they were all shifted, they couldn't use complex language ] Don't suspect they'd have much to say though, beyond wanting berries n' salmon. Yeah... things are a bit fucked, ain't they? Hoping it clears up soon.