.js_alisha @just-alish - Tumblr Blog

It’s finally the time of year for my favorite soldier headcanon of mine that I will take no criticisms on

it’s far too common for trans women to have had something that brought them joy only to have it stolen by the testosterone they didn’t want

I don't think I ever was treated like a human being by my friends & family.

that's not the thing,

I think what hurts the most is being tricked into believing that things can ever be different.

I'd be in my safe zone otherwise,

___

watched a nice Q&A, felt like something with coming to, honest.

like a feeling trapped behind a thin wall that it would be socially unacceptable to break.

#thoughts #disregard #confession #feelings

perhaps being this lost made the world seem much bigger, distant & dangerous.

I see it as a plus: I feel pressured & feeling pressured is a very familiar feeling.

feels collected, feels like home.

___

also, I figured out how to make text coloured.

#thoughts #dear diary #colour

ostolero

spent too long making 1 second animated gifs for discord emojis

ostolero

share if you are also a genuine dicksucker

omegasmileyface

kasta10

redrawing sniperspy

katlovesshrimps

Genuinely if you made me dairy-free mac n cheese, called me your daughter, and told me you were proud of me youd have done way more to accept me (allergies included) than I feel my bio dad ever has

I am proud of you! Proud of all of you for still moving forward

I tried so hard to be myself that now I think I lost all track of what I ever was.

the past seems more distant than it ever was.

my writing was reminding me of who I was,

but that's gone, now.

played my cards wrong & now it is likely all wiped by a person I thought I could trust.

I can suck up the mistake & they may paint me as whatever they want,

I just want my writing back, that was all I had.

___

some people do not like me. I get that,

but it all seems so cruel when no one tells you what it is that I am doing wrong.

it is like they roll the ball in my court, tell me it is all up to me & then paint me as irredeemable outright, not actually believing that I could ever change.

& maybe it is in their right to do that, but now I have no thing & no one.

no one left to trust, no one left to talk with.

I don't even feel like myself anymore.

nothing feels right.

___

maybe I am living a life that is not mine.

#thoughts #i feel sick #feeling lost