Just Your Average Robloxian

they/them

[just-your-average-robloxian]

heading to roblox vip convention! i'll post updates after the con is over

[just-your-average-robloxian]

some penguins saved me a seat! very cool

[just-your-average-robloxian]

ok so i just left town.

the penguin whose room i woke up in walked up to me right before i left and handed me a card from that tcg i played as a kid (i don't remember what it's called for the life of me). it was a pretty common one called power stab. i remember having like a whole page of those in my card binder but i guess now it works irl?? with real magic?? i was never really that great at magic anyway

i'm now in this cool meadowy area. there are still some various guys around this place who want to kill me, but i can just bonk em or hit em with my sword. i'm not killing them per se, so there's no butterfly effect. i think.

currently sitting behind a fence on a little grassy platform that i hopped up to on a trampoline. got a great view here. wish i could post it.

[just-your-average-robloxian]

ok so i just left hq. i'm at the iron cafe rn and my hands are shaking as i type this. a lot just happened.

basically, there were a whole bunch of guys in hq who wanted to kill me for some reason but i managed to bonk em with that superball i found near the stage at vipcon.

and then when i got to the top floor, there was this shirtless wrestler guy there next to a bunch of kids, who had apparently beaten up john flippin shedletsky. the kids were gonna fight me so i had to bonk them with the superball too (don't worry they're fine i checked)

after the kids ran away, shedletsky gave me a wooden sword and a flippin quest. he said that the illumina had been stolen, and that i needed to find builderman and that his fate was in my hands.

then he told me that i needed to go to roadtown all the way in mt blackrock and go find the ice dagger. like the actual ice dagger. from the myths.

im not an rpg protagonist im not cut out for this

[just-your-average-robloxian]

ok so i asked the front desk of the hotel to see if they had any idea what the heck was going on. i explained and they just looked at me like i was from planet voss???

i'm going back to hq. maybe i'll be able to find out what happened there.

[just-your-average-robloxian]

ok so i should probably tell you what happened at vipcon.

so builderman's doing the classic "power of imagination" speech to start off the con. yknow, the stuff he always says.

he introduces this thing called the retro toolkit, which he said could "bring back the past" or something. i wasn't really listening.

but then out of the blue, a mysterious figure in a flippin dominus (astra) jumps on stage with two minions (one's really small and the other's wearing a helmet) and ties builderman up. what's more, builderman recognized them????

the mysterious figure chewed builderman out, calling themself the architect's "fallen tower," saying everything was "stolen from us... from all of us," calling builderman out for thinking he "can bottle time while pretending we aren't part of it," and saying "we were there when it was real." (wow, this must've been personal.)

like buddy. if you're looking for whoever you think is trying to pretend, you've got the wrong guy.

ok anyway after the mysterious figure's whole villain monologue, jparty tried to bonk them with a superball and wiped out. hard.

then a really old penguin (probably the other penguins' grandpa or something) also recognized the mysterious figure??? he crashed out at them and said "I'LL KILL YOU!!"

he yelled at me to get up on the stage and "slap them up" as if he knew me from like high school and thought i'd done this before or something. he said i'd done this before too and called me a liar when i explained i had no idea what he was talking about.

i grabbed the superball and got up on stage and the penguin (who said his name was terry) showed me how to throw it (timing is key. you didn't hear this from me), and i bonked the minions with it like it was a flippin rpg fight.

then the mysterious figure started another monologue, calling me a puppet of some sort who's following a coward/false prophet and saying we should strive to dance to the melodies of a timeless choir. or something.

and then they picked up the retro toolkit but the penguin told me to bonk it with the superball, and i did, and now i'm here.

[just-your-average-robloxian]

w h a t

just happened

some mysterious figure just kidnapped builderman

and i woke up back in the bizville hotel in some other penguin's bed

and he yelled at me to get out of his room so i did

i'm currently in the hallway of the bizville hotel as i post this. the aesthetic looks straight out of that movie one by one (mythology-inspired murder mystery that came out in like 2011. zia deserved so much better).

if i know anything about rpgs, i'll probably get my first quest at the front desk or something.

[just-your-average-robloxian]

WHY DOES THE POST DATE SAY 2010

[just-your-average-robloxian]

w h a t

just happened

some mysterious figure just kidnapped builderman

and i woke up back in the bizville hotel in some other penguin's bed

and he yelled at me to get out of his room so i did

i'm currently in the hallway of the bizville hotel as i post this. the aesthetic looks straight out of that movie one by one (mythology-inspired murder mystery that came out in like 2011. zia deserved so much better).

if i know anything about rpgs, i'll probably get my first quest at the front desk or something.