enanita from over yander

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

I’m finally happy so please stop worrying. I’m finally where I belong. I’m confident in the fact that Kotone makes me happy and I make her happy too. I finally feel whole. So thank you for everyone who has been with me for my journey but I don’t need this platform anymore. I’m finally okay on my own.

Goodbye

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

So I’ve been getting tons of messages asking what happened and why I haven’t posted in a long time but honestly it’s confusing to explain. I can’t say much of the last night I posted because it’s so blurry. Sounds ridiculous I know but it’s how it is. I’m not posting here anymore. I’ve decided to delete my acc and live here in the inn with Kotone. 

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

What is going on?

The next day after I woke up alone at the inn I asked Sato-san (the innkeeper) where everyone went yesterday but she didn’t answer. She said no one left the inn yesterday. She was in the front desk the whole day. 

I feel like I made up the whole thing. But i posted about it so I didn’t make it up. So weird. Tonight I’m going to see where the rest of the guests are. I haven’t seen anyone since my first two days here. Just Haru and Sato-san.

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

I was completely alone

This morning I woke up and no one was in the lobby nor the gardens nor the dinning room. I was completely alone. But it didn’t feel like it. I felt like I was being watched everywhere I went even though I didn’t see anyone around. I haven’t been able to find the innkeeper and whenever I call the front desk I hear the phone ringing in the distance but no one picks up. 

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

Ok hear me out...

Since I’ve gotten to this inn I haven’t seen anyone else but the innkeeper, Haru and the lady at the hot spring. Though last night I was awake later than usual and there was so much noise outside my room. I could hear people talking, strange noises, and running down the halls. But when I’d go out no one was around. As soon I left my room everything grew quiet, like the building was holding its breath. I looked up and down the hall but no one was there. When I went back inside to my room the noise didn’t come again. I heard light footsteps walking but other than that nothing else happened the rest of the night. 

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

So normally you’re not allowed to take pictures in the hot spring but there was this woman there that had such beautiful hair! I think she was too busy to notice me however. Seemed like her hair was really tangled. I was at the hot spring for a while but she never got out. I even started to feel dizzy so I had to leave but she continued to be fine sitting in the exact same spot. How lucky she doesn’t get sick from the heat!

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

So I asked the innkeeper and she just laughed and nodded. Then she walked away. Other than that the innkeeper is so nice and welcoming. She’s very blunt but kind. She has a charming accent but can speak english very well. She invited me for dinner today and I’m very excited. I wonder what we’ll talk about. Hopefully we’ll get along

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

So on my second day I met this little boy named Haru. Which I found weird since I read that little boys weren’t allowed. I took a picture of him but the glare of the sun made it look weird. He almost fell from the tree but when I went to check on him he was gone. I wonder if he got hurt and went to his mother. I’ll make sure to ask the innkeeper about it later.

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

My room is really nice! Very much has that traditional Japanese home design. I talked with the innkeeper, she's a very nice lady. She has very unique eye color but so beautiful. I made sure to compliment her on the state of the building. Supposedly it's over 300 years old!!! I’m too tired from the trip so I’m going to sleep early.

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

So finally here and I met a nice old man on the road. Talked with him for a bit though I noticed he didn't have any shoes on. I'd offer him my sandals but they seemed too small for him. I tried to take a picture with him but he kindly declined and went into the forest. Kinda weird but such a nice man. 

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

You should do a getaway! Go to this inn in Osaka it's really beautiful it's called 死のウェブ 宿

Hmmm I hadn’t even thought about that. I like the idea. I’ll definitely check it out, thank you so much!

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

So I researched it, and I’m planning to go. Thank you so much for the recommendation!

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

You should do a getaway! Go to this inn in Osaka it's really beautiful it's called 死のウェブ 宿

Hmmm I hadn’t even thought about that. I like the idea. I’ll definitely check it out, thank you so much!

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

How do you get over heart break

You cry, and you scream, and you act stupid. You skip showers and meals, just lay in bed days on end. You have pity parties with just yourself. You become irrational and irritated. You push everyone away. You stalk the hallways like a ghost. You cry in bed, in the shower, in the kitchen, and even the closet. You let your heartache. You let the pain throb and spread through your entire body. You blame yourself, and you curse them; you hate the world. You exhaust yourself with endless what-ifs. You pretend you’re getting better. You go out; you buy groceries, you run errands. You pretend you’re getting over them. Until you think you see them in public, and your heart flutters with pain and hope. Then you relapse. You drink irresponsibly in hopes to forget. But you never do. Instead, you cry harder and try to drunk dial them. You lie on the ground sobbing for hours. You feel your legs get numb under your body weight. You consider lying there for the rest of your life. Somehow you get the strength to get up and take a shower. Only to start crying when you turn the tap. You try to get them out of your life. But it feels like ripping apart of you from your body. You try to bring them back into your life. But you can’t bear the sound of their voice. You can’t bear to be around anyone or anything because everything reminds you of them. You watch romance movies and listen to love songs. And think of the entire time. You listen to Someone Else by Wild Child. You have your good days and your bad days. You distract yourself with projects and work and chores. Other times you sit alongside your misery and just coexists. You wait for them to call, to text. Even though you know they won’t. You wait until one day, the sun shines a bit brighter, and the air feels lighter. The wind caresses your hair, and your steps aren’t weighted anymore. One day you catch yourself genuinely laughing, and for a moment, things seem okay. You go out with your friends, and you see your family. Except for this time, it isn’t to distract yourself. You still have those nights when you listen to Calvin Harris and think about them and wonder if they’ll ever come back. But the feeling doesn’t last. You wake up on Sunday and feel alright again.

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

I'm tired of people saying he's not wroth my tears. If he wasn't worth it I wouldn't still be crying. You don't know it but he changed my world. You'll never know how much he meant to me.

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

I hate you for breaking my heart and not even caring about it.

But I still love you all the same

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

Having tears running down your face for someone who doesn’t even care for you is

a sad reality

[piojito-de-casa]

“How do you know when it’s over?”

“Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.”

[justagirl-rantingaboutlife]

ahaaaaaaaaaa