If you are a fan of the books, I don’t know how you don’t walk away from this episode without your heart bursting for Roger Mac. Rankin, as usual, is just stunningly good. And I want to talk a bit about how this episode, more than any other, is when he settles fully into who he is.
While he sits in the Idiot Hut with the priest and they talk about the priest’s history and his dilemma, Roger begins to unravel. We see him desperately trying to convince the priest to save himself. It would take almost no effort to do so, but the priest, shattered by shame and self-loathing for what he has been taught is sinful, refuses. It is, of course, Roger talking to himself.
Had he cast that love aside at any number of moments, he might have spared himself agony and suffering. He had so many chances. The comfort of living was always there for the taking. And still, he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t do it. Because at his heart, he is a man bound by honor and love. He doesn’t have it in him to put himself first.
The increasing desperation in his voice is only partly because he knows he can’t convince the priest to save himself. It is perhaps even more his own realization that he cannot be someone he isn’t.
The melding of religion with this moment is key to who Roger becomes as well. When he prays over the priest, that is our first glimpse of Roger Mac, the man who would devote himself to serving God for the people of The Ridge.
We see that man again and again this season, in moments of beauty within chaos and danger. When he first helps Morag and the baby on Bonnet’s ship. When he is drawn to Johiehon and her baby in the village. This is a gentle, peaceful man who is forced into violent situations, who never feels quite at ease in that role.
Jamie is a warrior. That fierce brutality is in his blood, something always churning beneath his skin. It frightens him at times, but often saves him and others. Roger does not have that warrior within. And we’ve seen time and again that, while he is a survivor, the drive beneath his survival is not the brutality needed to do what must be done, but rather desperate choices made out of compassion.
It’s why the relationship Jamie and Roger end up having is so beautiful. They are very different in many ways, but both will do whatever they need to for those they love, though they may use different methods to achieve their goals. And they both come to highly respect the other because of who they are.
When Roger turns back to put a swift end to the priest’s life, while he berates himself for his idiocy, that is also Roger turning his back on ever considering that he could be someone else. It is the final moment of transition into Roger Mac. He draws from a deep well of bravery and compassion to sacrifice himself yet again. It is one of the most beautiful, heroic moments we’ve seen on the show.
The last time I cried this much watching an episode was Faith in Season 2. Both moments are of horrible grief and loss, but also something beautiful. Claire, in all her agony, survives, her strength fragile, but thrumming in her. Kaheroton, clinging to the baby, his heart shattering, but also bursting with love for that child that he didn’t father, but who is all he has left of Johiehon. When we see Roger, the horror fading from his face, we see something shift, a strength in him, a settling into who he is, accepting who he is.
This season has been a long game. If you found yourself baffled by characters, annoyed and frustrated at earlier points, you’ll come away from these last few episodes knocked over by what they’ve done. It takes patience to let characters be real and grow, but the payoff is something beautiful.
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