long distance
I’ve been married for over a year now. It’s been basically entirely long distance. I haven’t seen my husband irl since we got married and I left. I definitely am not okay.

★
wallacepolsom
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
RMH
Claire Keane
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oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Three Goblin Art
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi

Andulka
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Stranger Things

Janaina Medeiros
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Discoholic 🪩
almost home
seen from Australia

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@justanotherabcd
long distance
I’ve been married for over a year now. It’s been basically entirely long distance. I haven’t seen my husband irl since we got married and I left. I definitely am not okay.
shaadi ho gayi?!
HEY Y’ALL, justanotherabcd here to let y’all know that I got married.
in India.
with a man from india.
It’s been about 2 months and long distance relationships are the worst but things are going well.
Drowning in Religious Distractions, Ignoring the Living Ones, Not Finding the Path, by James Bean
His disciples said to him: “Twenty-four prophets spoke in Israel, and they all spoke through you!” He said to them: “You have passed over Him who is living in front of your eyes, and have spoken of the dead!” (Saying 52, Gospel of Thomas)
“Seek to see Him who is living, while you are living; rather than to die and to seek to see Him only when you can no longer see Him.” (Saying 59, Gospel of Thomas)
Commentary
Minds held captive by religious or other esoteric traditions keep looking backwards in time, to past masters, or prophets no longer with us, and ignore those Living Ones with us now here in the living present. Without the Living Teacher, there is no real student or classroom, the secrets of meditation are not successfully communicated, and nothing much gets done during this life in terms of spiritual progress. The Living Path remains a Path not taken, a road not traveled upon.
The same need that brought great souls into the world during past centuries is still with us. There are Living Masters in the world today. The reality and not the illusion of having a Guru, begins here, with this openness to the possibility of Living Ones Now.
“When we receive initiation from a Saint, practice Naam Simran to retrace our consciousness from toes to a spot behind the eyes [Third Eye Center], only then something is accomplished.” (Baba Kehar Singh)
“So long as a spirit does not rise above the body-consciousness, it remains a stranger to the spiritual realms beyond”. (Rumi)
This mystic-poem by Tulsi Sahib of Hathras, India beautifully reflects upon the inward journey of the soul back to God:
Within this body breathes the secret essence. Within this body beats the heart of the Vedas.
Within this body shines the entire Universe, so the saints say.
Hermits, ascetics, celibates – all are lost seeking Him in endless guises.
Seers and sages perfectly parrot the scriptures and holy books, blinded by knowledge.
Their pilgrimage, and fasting, and striving but delude. Despite their perfect practice, they discover no destination.
Only the saints who know the body’s heart have attained the Ultimate, O Tulsi.
Realize this, and you’ve found your freedom (while teachers trapped in tradition know only the mirage in the mirror).
A Living Master is a Light in Your Darkness, and Light Leading to More Light
“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a Light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.” (Carl Jung) That’s very close to the definition of Guru according to Hinduism: “one who takes the darkness away”, or is, in other words, a “Light-giver”. The role of the genuine spiritual Master is to escort us into Heavenly Realms so we may have our own experience of the divine and see for ourselves the beauty that up to now has remained hidden.
When we sit for meditation and gaze into the darkness with eyes closed, we’re encountering the world of “within”, opening up to the possibility of seeing via the Third Eye, also known as the Wisdom Eye. This is the Portal or Door to the Kingdom of the Heavens that are inside. This is what Rumi and the Masters are attempting to show us. For those taught the methods of meditation practice by a qualified living teacher and spiritual guide, we soon will discover that the darkness is no longer dark. There is a pinpoint of light, and an inner sky, inner stars, moons, suns, many colors, dark voids, and tunnels that go into the Light.
As the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear.” A living teacher, being fully acquainted with the ‘landscape’ of Inner Space, is able to impart to initiate-candidates valuable guidance on how to safely make the journey of ascension to the Inner Regions during meditation. This kind of spiritual transmission and the details of meditation practice are not found in books, old scriptures of the past, and are not for sale, but are given freely.
We also will discover during extended periods of meditation that there is Sound coming from beyond the silence. “When I am silent, I fall into the place where everything is Music,” says Rumi. “Bring the sky beneath your feet and listen to Celestial Music everywhere.” (Rumi) Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche has a great description of the Inner Sound in his book, Mind Beyond Death: “It is easiest to hear this Sound when it is quiet, particularly at nighttime. Once you have identified this Sound, then you place your awareness on it without wavering. Resting your mind in the Sound, you continue to listen, going further and further into the Sound itself.”
Some Living Words From Swami Vyasanand
"A serious seeker has to prepare a fertile ground within his or her inner Self. The prerogative of God-realization and attainment of the vision of the Divine only belongs to the atman (inner Self) or consciousness within the body. However, it is not possible to accomplish this while engrossed in the distractions of the mind and the body. It is only possible by freeing us of these distractions while living in the body. To liberate us from the sensory distractions is not an easy task. However, it can be achieved with the grace of the Satguru (true teacher). For this, a practitioner must be determined, morally upright, and follow the instruction of the Guru. Without these, it is impossible to obtain the grace of the Guru. The practitioner can only diligently perform sadhana (literally, exertion to attain an objective, meditation, spiritual practice), but only the grace of the Guru yields success in the endeavor.
"To attain the due rewards of sadhana it is important to follow the Gurus’ instruction vigilantly and steadfastly. Resolve means: not wavering from the path in any situation…
"It is important that a student should cultivate these qualities. Without the grace of the teacher, progress on the spiritual path and attainment of the Divine is not possible.
"A seeker should pay attention to five factors:
1. Receive the teachings of the Guru with great attentiveness.
2. After listening to the teaching, learn the esoteric techniques (diksha, initiation) from the Guru for treading the spiritual path.
3. Make a diligent effort to succeed in the tests presented by the Guru.
4. Joyfully endure the trials and obstacles on this arduous path.
5. Cultivate patience and perseverance.
"Just as a traveler withstands the pains of the journey and calmly endures the delays of the train and discomforts of the railway station, in the same manner, the spiritual traveler on the Divine path, although not seeing the Divine for many years, does not waiver from the path. Rather, the seeker endures the delay, and keeping faith in the Guru’s words, enthusiastically waits for the moment of Divine realization.
"Infinite knowledge is like an ocean with unlimited water. The ocean makes its water available to anyone who wishes to draw from it. However, the person who wants to draw water from the ocean is only limited by the capacity of his vessel for carrying the water. It is not the fault of the ocean if humans are limited in their capacity to draw water. Those who have bigger vessels have the capacity to carry the most water. In the same way, humans vary in their capacities to draw from the Divine Ocean of knowledge. In the words of Sant Maharshi Mehi: 'All the Sants are said to be impartial and are equally compassionate toward all beings and their grace showers like the rain, equally on everyone. Nevertheless, just as the flowing rainwater gathers only in the deep hollow places, the grace of Saints gathers in the hearts of those disciples whose hearts are emptied from worldly distractions and whose devotion is deep. They are ready to receive the grace of the Guru.’” (Swami Vyasanand, from his recently published book, The Inward Journey of the Soul)
I wasn’t asked to a single dance in high school and didn’t have a serious romantic relationship until I was 22. And like, yeah that shit hurt when I was younger. I had a lot of fears that I was unlovable and that I didn’t deserve to be happy. And every time I would try to talk to anyone about it, the conversation became, “you’ll find someone”, when it should have been, “you don’t need a relationship or a date, you’re lovable & complete & beautiful on your own”.
So yeah, please normalize young people not dating, and please stop shaming them for it. There’s more to life than romance, despite what the media wants us to think.
THIS
Some of y'all need to read this shit and understand it fully
This made me cry
I just want a guy who will feed me food while my mehndi dries
Krithika Babu for Moghamul Chapter II A portrait series featuring women from dravidian literature.
Something About Sex Before Marriage
A post on the decision to abstain from having sex.
People are always acting like sex is easy.
Like, I’m a brown girl, fam. It is not easy.
I’m a virgin. Sometimes it’s been easy to stay that way. It took me a long time to understand that people could find me attractive. Eventually I realized that I could be desired, and while that has made the possibility of sex more tempting, I still have been able to abstain. It hasn’t even been particularly difficult to abstain. I have had few temptations, none strong enough to make me reconsider my decision to avoid sex.
What people constantly wonder is why I made the decision in the first place. I mean, when we look at sex from a societal perspective, sex is so easy.
Just the other day I had a friend tease me. He and I were joking around, and I had asked him to kill me. Then I said something like “No wait, I don’t want to die a virgin, you’re gonna have to wait a few years.” He said “Dude, you’re a girl. You can have sex WHENEVER you want.” My response? “Dude, I know.” But the thing is, just because I have that option doesn’t mean I’m going to pick it.
See, even though sex is easy from a societal perspective, I understand that it can make my future considerably harder.
I made a promise to myself and to my mom that I would get an arranged marriage. There are valid reasons for me to consider getting an arranged marriage, reasons I will not get into now. Making that decision to get an arranged marriage has very distinctly influenced my way of life now. I make decisions damn near daily to do things or not do things that will influence that future arranged married life. Not having sex is just one of those things.
See, I don’t know what kind of person I’m going to marry. I have no clue. Maybe he’s going to be the most open-minded, kickass person ever. Or maybe he’s going to be a meek and mild, simple-minded man. Maybe he’s going to be super old-fashioned, maybe he’ll be hella modern. I have no way to know. I do know that Indian men traditionally are very possessive, jealous men, so I try not to put myself in situations that are going to jeopardize this future relationship.
I know it seems outrageous and crazy and rigid and honestly kind of shitty, and it is. It’s all of those things. But this decision is one I live by to reduce the problems in my future. If I’m not a virgin when I get married, I know there’s a good chance that that will affect my relationship for a long time after I get married. In brown culture, sex before marriage is considered inappropriate. It’s a sign of bad character. It’s impure. And yeah, we live in the 21st century and all that shit shouldn’t matter, but it does. It ends up being such a big factor in the dynamics of a relationship, and I honestly don’t think I can deal with that kind of stress.
So I choose not to have sex. Yes, it’s easy to have sex. Yeah, I want to. No, it’s not a good idea.
I abstain so I can stay sane.
Thoughts on Marriage 2/13
Hey guys, been such a long time since I’ve posted! There have been a lot of times where I’ve wanted to but just no time to blog. So here we go.
As you may or may not know, I’m planning on getting an arranged marriage. As typical for desi households, what I’m allowed to do has been limited, and denials have been swiftly followed by “after you’re married you can do whatever you want...” Which is, essentially, bullshit. I mean at a younger, more naive age, I thought oh yeah, I can do whatever I want after I get married! Huzzah! Marriage is cool, yeah.
But then reality rather quickly caught up with me. Because the stipulation that follows that line is “as long as your husband lets you.” It’s unspoken, but it’s there. I’ve told my mom about wanting piercings and tattoos and whatnot, and she gets so irritated. “Not in my house. When you’re in your own then you can do whatever you want.” HAHA OK MOM, plz don’t feed me your lies. You and I both know I would have to marry some kickass guy for that to happen, and if I’m getting married to some pendu in India...I wouldn’t bank on it. And I’m realizing again it’s not even dependent on the guy. My husband’s mom can be a tyrant. IDK. YOU DON’T KNOW. WHO KNOWS? I’m not trying to risk it.
So anyways, over the past few years, I’ve taken control over owning by body through piercings. Not super unorthodox, just on my ears. But Mom has always hated it. Of course my first piercings where when I was a baby. But the following piercings -- nose, 12; 2nd holes, 16; 3rd holes, 18; first cartilage, 21 -- have been very much without her approval. I mean obviously she went with me when I got my second piercings done, since I was underage and all. She doesn’t stop me, per se. But she hates it.
See, I got my cartilage done last night. I’m going home today, and I’ll show Mom, and she’ll be mad. And she’ll think of things like Who’s going to marry this crazy girl? But I think it’s ridiculous. I know how people think in our communities. And you know what? I’m okay with my piercings to be a deterrent. Because I don’t want to be chosen as a wife for someone based on how pure my ears are (haha wut?). I know my piercings will be found unattractive by many, and I could care less. Because I don’t want to be married into such a narrow minded house. She thinks it’ll be hard to find me a rishta? I find that don’t care. Why would I want to be rishta’d into a house that so greatly dissents from my personal views. Just because I have piercings doesn’t mean I’m not a good girl, and it doesn’t mean I won’t make a damn good wife - AND daughter-in-law - someday. Because I’m pretty awesome. And the house that I’ll be married into will be a lucky one.
Outcast.
Hey y’all. Been a while. I got some stuff I need to get off my chest, but I can’t say it to anyone.
Have you ever been the cousin that nobody wants to hang out with? Almost every single time you ask, the answer is no. You’re a social woman, a girl that likes hanging out with her friends, a girl that talks to boys, a girl that speaks too much, is too honest.
Too honest. Because that can be a crime, you know?
I always feel like a bad person, even when I’m doing nothing wrong. I dress mostly modestly. I don’t smoke. Don’t drink. I don’t date. Don’t kiss. Don’t hold hands.
I flirt. I go out with my friends. I stay out late, having conversations that make me think.
I feel like a bad person.
I feel guilty for choosing to be my own person. For having an identity that is distinct and unique. For refusing to blend in. For having a voice.
My cousins don’t like hanging out with me. Or they’re not allowed to. I might be a bad influence. Maybe I’ll teach my cousins to be an individual. Maybe I’ll teach them to do what it takes to be happy.
But maybe I’m in the wrong. Because they’re all happy. And i’m here, without my family, just trying to figure out who I am, and who I want to be.
Dhadkan is such an important movie because it’s a story about how a girl gets an arranged marriage but ends up falling in love with her husband even though she was in love with someone else before she got married.
One of the biggest desi girl pleasures LOL
True. Too true.
Darr (1993)
Indian street food.
you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey
you’ll never know dear
how much i love you
pls don’t take
my sunshine away
Aloo tiki every night after dinner 🙌🙌