Justanotherdumbassss

I’m too busy dreaming. Here today, gone tomorrow. 30.

[catchymemes]

[justanotherdumbasssss]

I think after my mom dies, I’m just going to pack my bag and travel.

Maybe something will happen on the travels for better or for worse

I just want to see more of this world before I die

[justanotherdumbasssss]

On the edge

Looking for an escape

From what’s behind the door

Afraid of what’s to come

Raised voices turning into something more

Worry for others facing the same demon

An unnecessary evil, their demeanor

It all adds up, it all leads,

Trying to find the ground beneath the feet

One moment to relax, next to despair

Peace and dread, walking a fine fucking edge

The door remains right there,

The one you can’t hack out of, the one you return to

Wondering what gets killed first,

The hope or the will

You step out the door

with a facade made fine,

Years of putting on a mask,

For few happy memories you pine

[holybananapants]

im full of too much whimsy (mental health issues)

[justanotherdumbasssss]

It’s so easy to be mediocre

It’s so easy to watch others work tirelessly towards their dreams

It’s so easy to want yet not have

It’s so easy to watch the world pass you by

It’s so easy to want an end

It’s so easy to be forgetful

It’s so easy to be invisible

It’s so easy to dream

It’s so easy to remain mediocre

Feeling tired is easy, wanting to kill myself is easy

I wouldn’t wish this life of ease for someone else

[justanotherdumbasssss]

Music helps to ignore the loud voices inside my head

[nevver]

Hold back the dawn, Jacqueline Barkla

[justanotherdumbasssss]

Writing a hp fanfic is fun, just gotta stay consistent.

I aim to become good enough to be able to write the stories I want.

Something to leave behind.

[justanotherdumbasssss]

I’m watching a movie on Netflix called Nonnas and I wish I could experience what it’s like growing up in an Italian family

[justanotherdumbasssss]

Filled a tax form

Collated documents for a lawyer

Sent an email out to a customer service for a missing part

Walked almost 6 kms today morning

Productive first half of the day ✅

[justanotherdumbasssss]

Just assembled a gym bench, hopefully I can stick to a workout routine

[justanotherdumbasssss]

I’m fucking tired of this life. I don’t have a goal that I’m working towards.

The only reason I’m here is so that I can be there for my mom and brother.

Every day we have to walk on eggshells around my dad. Every day we have to be stuck in this hellhole because I don’t earn enough money to be able to move out.

I’m tired. I used to dream that I will move away, away from this family, away from this country. I did everything I could to try and get a loan, year after year, but I couldn’t get it.

And I realised that I can’t do it, I can’t leave my brother to deal with all of this alone. I can’t leave my mom because her health has its own ups and downs.

So here I am, another day of wanting nothing to do with this reality I find myself in. I don’t have the courage to kill myself, I couldn’t even do it if I did because I need to be here for them, even if being here means working in a soulless corporate job just so I can earn money to alleviate at least some financial pressure off them and provide for myself.

[justanotherdumbasssss]

The seconds pass by,

I stand still,

Rigid, stuck, unmoving

Stale hands, heavy eyelids

Ache in my chest

I hold on,

It could be worse

Repeat

Happiness is a fever dream

[justanotherdumbasssss]

There’s a dance routine at the end of Step Up 3 where the background song is “to build a home” by cinematic orchestra and I wish I can recreate that someday with someone

[justanotherdumbasssss]

Close your eyes, let the music do the rest

[theambitiouswoman]

[seaphine]

I crave you in the most innocent form. I crave to say goodnight and give you forehead kisses.