summary: (includes smut) a jealous theodore is not one you want to mess with. or maybe, for you, he's exactly what you need.
authors note: i wrote this in 30 minutes on my lunch break. i just couldn't get theo out of my head #workinghardorhardlyworking?!?! anyway enjoy guys!
🌷 masterlist
Theodore Nott doesn’t get jealous. No, he’s too good for an emotion as weak as pitiful enviousness. He’s way above wasting a single second on thinking about someone else. No, the feeling he’s getting from watching you flirt with another man isn’t jealousy. It’s hatred.
Theodore’s not jealous of the way your hand rests on the other Slytherin’s thigh. He’s not jealous of the other man who’s able to see the column of your neck up close when you throw your head back to laugh carelessly. He’s not jealous of your lips grazing the other man’s ear as you whisper something that makes the two of you giggle. Theodore is too busy devising a murder plot to feel jealous.
Theodore isn’t jealous, no. But then, what can he call the growing chasm in his stomach, the one that makes him feel like he’s freefalling? What can he call his roaring heartbeat in his ears, so loud he can barely hear Mattheo talking to him from a few feet away? How can he explain his clenched fists, his tight jaw, his hardened eyes?
Okay, so he might be jealous, which could be a reason for the predicament you’re in now.
“Tell me you’re mine. Say who you belong to, amorina. Say my name.” Theodore’s slow drag of his cock in and out of your wet pussy makes you feel tingles from your toes all the way to your finger tips, your head so far up in the clouds that you can’t even manage to talk properly, slurring your words to the point where they’re almost unintelligible.
“Theo,” you whisper his name, your fingers clenching the sheets under you. “Faster,” you whine desperately, your hips jerking up towards him, needing better friction, more precise movements, needing him deeper.
“That’s not what I said, bambina,” Theodore whispers in that gravelly voice he saves just for when he’s fucking you. “You’re mine. Say it.” He knows it’s irrational, the words he’s saying, because you’re not his. You're not his girlfriend or his partner, you’re not even his friend. You’re acquaintances. But once he found out from a drunk Pansy that your pussy became sopping wet just from making quick eye contact with him, and once he could admit to himself that he became painfully hard just from you sitting next to him, the two of you became, for the lack of a better description, fuck buddies.
You can barely breathe with Theodore’s cock inside you, and the sheer pleasure you feel from this new form of hate sex that you’re experiencing is rendering you completely stupid. So you can’t stop yourself from moaning his name over and over again, saying that you’re his and only his, and that you need him to go faster or you might actually die.
Sex with Theodore was always good, but you make a mental note to make him jealous more often. This was indescribable, his relentless pace, your legs thrown over his shoulders as he bends you into shapes you didn’t even know your body could make, his hand on your throat as he fucks you into the mattress, your moans echoing around the room so loud you’re almost positive someone’s going to walk in on the two of you.
“You going to cum, principessa, huh? Oh, look at you,” Theodore coos softly, acting like he’s not fucking into you so hard you can barely breathe. “Your tongue is falling out of your mouth, amore, be careful.”
“Theo,” you whimper again and again with every thrust. “I-I can’t.”
“Yes you can. I know you can, baby, c'mon. Give it to me. I want to hear my name on your lips as you squeeze my cock. I want to see your face as you cum.”
It’s like his words cast a spell on you; you cum after one particular thrust hits your g-spot, your hands curling into his hair as you convulse under him. You can hear him groan as his hips buck wildly into yours, his body stilling as he pumps a load into you. “Fuck,” you whimper repeatedly, hugging Theodore tight to your chest as the two of you come down from your highs.
“I got you, amore, don’t worry,” he whispers, and it sounds so scarily real and caring that you don’t even know what to think anymore as his soft lips meet yours in a tender kiss. You’re terrified at the way your heart swells, at the way you lose your breath and train of thought. You’re terrified because you might be falling for him.
summary: reader is insecure. steve shows her she's beautiful while still respecting boundaries!
pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
classification: smutty blurb
warnings: 18+, not my gif!, cussing, oral (f!receiving), reader has a vagina, not proofread!
⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅
You weren’t the most experienced.
You weren’t a virgin. You’d done some stuff before, but nothing insane. Something that didn’t help was how insecure you are.
When Steve – King Steve “The Hair” Harrington – first showed interest in you, you were beside yourself. Why would the hottest guy in Hawkins feel anything towards a girl like you?
But Steve knew you were beautiful. Everyone knew you were beautiful, except for you. And you knew he wanted you so bad, as much as he (poorly) tried to hide it.
“Just wanna touch you, baby,” he slurs, kissing at your neck. “Won’t pressure you, but… you’re beautiful. I just wanna taste you.”
You can’t deny the way that his words, his voice, send heat straight down to your core. God, you want him so bad, too. But if he sees you in full, if he sees more than just your face, will he still find you beautiful?
You squirm under him, huffing a laugh, weakly pushing at his shoulders. “Stevie… baby, I dunno. I’m not the prettiest… down there.”
He pulls back, looking at you like you just turned into a dog. His brows were pulled taut in that way that made you swoon. “What do you mean, honey?” he murmurs, cupping your face in his hands. “How would you know, hm?” He kisses at your collar, then at your sternum through your shirt.
You run your fingers through his hair, your breathing getting heavier and heavier. He kneels between your legs. “I’ll be the judge of that, baby. That okay?”
You whine. “I dunno…”
He kisses your thighs. “That’s alright, honey. But I wanna make you feel good. Do you trust me to make you feel good?”
Your face goes red. But you manage a nod.
“Words, sweet girl.” Steve presses a kiss to your bare thigh below your shorts.
“Yes, I trust you,” you whisper.
“Good,” he grins, slowly pulling down your shorts. You tense up, your fingers tightening in his hair. He chuckles. “Relax, baby. I’m leaving your panties on, okay?”
He kisses above your panties first, right on your navel. You whimper and feel him smirk against your hot skin.
He slowly kisses lower. And lower. Then he’s hooking your thighs over his shoulders and pressing a featherlight kiss to your clothed clit.
A gasp is ripped from you. Your fingers tighten in his hair again, your nails in his scalp. The sudden, barely-there pleasure shoots up through you like shocks. “Oh, f– fuck,” you breathe.
He licks up your clothed slit, drenching the fabric even further than your wetness already had. You whine, tugging at his hair even more, causing him to groan into you. A shudder runs through your body, up your chest and out to your fingertips.
Steve hums into you, hooking his hands around your thighs and pulling you closer to his face. He buries his nose and mouth into your pussy as your back arches off of his silk sheets. “Feel good?” he mumbles.
You nod. Your thighs tighten around his head, basically suffocating him, and his eyes just roll back. He pulls back to admire his work.
Your cotton panties are see-through now, every part of you visible. The sopping fabric sticks to your folds and he lightly blows on it. You yelp and squirm in response to the cold air.
He kneads his fingers into your thighs to soothe you. “Shh, babygirl. I got you, don’t worry.”
He dives back in with even more desperation than before. You cry out, trembling under him, tugging at his hair. Your eyes travel to his hips, hopelessly grinding into the mattress while he whimpers into you.
Your abdomen begins to tighten. Your thighs start to shake. He rubs your hips, mumbling nonsense into your heat, gently coaxing you to break.
So you do.
You babble moans, gasping his name, bucking up into his mouth. Steve guides you through it oh so carefully, pulling back when you collapse so you don’t get overstimulated. He presses tender kisses to your soft tummy while your chest heaves.
“You okay? Was that good?” his honey-like voice mutters.
You weakly pull him up to your face, brushing a kiss against his lips. “Thank you,” you whisper.
A smile spreads across his face. Not smug or sarcastic like usual, just genuine. He presses his lips to your forehead. “Of course, pretty girl. Of course.”
⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅
a/n: ok it's been like two months but i'm back! (sorry lol) i'm on summer break now yay so hopefully i'll be posting more. i have an idea for a possible steve series and i'm thinking of making a smau on twt so keep an eye out! (my twt is djosfools)
okay so this is my first request ever (yay 😇), i’m typically a silent reader. okay. to the point. could you do one where reader has the biggest puppy eyes ever—and isn’t even aware that she has them? steve’s never able to say no (obviously). and the group always teases him, but he can’t bring himself to stop.
sorry if this lacks detail, but you should get the idea?? if not, that’s okay. thank you!! 🥹✌️
PUPPY EYED LOVER
Steve Harrington x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 1.7K
NIA'S NOTES: Thank you for this request!! I have my exam tomorrow. I need all the luck I can get honestly 🤞🤞 I'll feedback to you guys as soon as I come out of the exam how it went. Enjoy my lovelies!! 💕
Having a boyfriend that couldn’t help but give into you was something that you put to good use, mostly because it would get a reaction out of other people. Watching the helpless look wash over his face was something that you soaked in every time. You could ask him for anything, and he would say yes immediately, not needing a second to think about it. Your favourite part about it was watching everyone roll their eyes and gag.
For a boy that was known as ‘king Steve’ in high school, he was definitely everything but what people expected of him. Whatever defences he had up crumbled down whenever he simply looked at you, and he got shit from it all the time, constantly being mocked when he was caught off guard.
You’ve never worked out why he can never say no to you, and you know that he has never been like this with anyone else. If anyone else asked him for something, he would probably laugh at them and roll his eyes. People would ask you if he was desperate, but he has been like this since day one of dating him, and you never thought to ask him about it.
The mall was getting quieter, people scattered around to do their last-minute shop before heading home. You’re walking out of the movie theatre with Steve by your side, a large popcorn box in your hands as you munched on them. You had asked him if you could get popcorn, and he went up to the front to ask for a large popcorn box. He knew that you wouldn’t finish it, but anyone that knew him knows that he loves to spoil you.
Robin, Jonathan and Nancy are trailing behind you, still laughing at the movie that you just watched. It had been a tie between you and the others on what movie you wanted to watch, and the final vote that came from Steve was your movie suggestion, of course.
He rests his hand on your lower back, guiding you through the mall. “What did you think of the movie, baby?” He asks, stealing a handful of popcorn from your box and tilting his head back, eating them all at once.
You hum, glancing around like you’re really thinking about it. “I really liked it. What did you think of it?”
A slightly concerned look appears on his face, and he almost wants to laugh at how awful the movie was, but for the sake of you, he doesn’t. “It was quite funny. Good movie.”
You squint at him before laughing. “Wait, really? I was only kidding, I hated it. I think that was the worst suggestion I’ve ever had. Never let me pick a movie.”
He stares at you, more confused than ever. “Oh, right. I mean, it was funny because it was so bad.”
“Okay, Steve.” You laugh, shaking your head before stuffing popcorn in your mouth.
The others catch up with you and fall into a conversation, mostly filled with Robin unable to talk with how much she was laughing. Steve’s hand stays on your lower back, gently rubbing up and down, a gesture that he does without even thinking about it.
You pause mid-step, inches away from the stairs leading to the exit, and you glance up at Steve. “Could we take the elevator? My legs are hurting.” You say innocently with a sweet smile and your big eyes.
“Yeah, of course we can.” He nods, already making his way over to the lift.
“Oh Jesus. The stairs are right here. Can you not walk up a few steps?” Robin asks with a groan, earning a grin from you.
“If her legs hurt, then the elevator would be the best option.” Steve says, pressing the button.
Robin rolls her eyes, already making her way up. “I’m taking the stairs, have fun waiting.”
“Suit yourself.” Jonathan shrugs, following behind Robin with Nancy who’s clearly trying not to laugh.
He turns to you, shrugging. “Don’t know what’s got them so irritated.”
You just laugh, stepping into the elevator with him beside you. The elevator goes up slowly, giving him time to turn to you, gently grabbing your jaw and pulling you in for a sweet, slow kiss. He sighs against you, slipping his hand behind him onto the wall to steady himself.
“You taste like salted caramel.” He grins.
“I am eating salted caramel popcorn, so I’d hope so.” You laugh, leaning your weight against him.
His fingers trail down your arm, and his voice almost comes out in a whine. “I can’t wait to get back home.”
You raise your eyebrows. “Why is that?”
“Why would I not want to get back home?” He sighs, resting his forehead against yours. “I’ve missed you.”
“Steve, baby, you’ve been with me all day. Practically attached to my hip unless you physically haven’t been able to come along with me.” You say with an amused laugh.
“You know what I mean.” He mumbles.
“I don’t, but okay.” You shake your head, huffing out another laugh.
His hand comes back up to the side of your face. “I like being around you.”
“I know.” You hum. “You’ve been very affectionate all day.”
“Am I not always?” He asks.
You blink at him. “Good point.”
The elevator dings and the doors open, the others already waiting at the door, looking impatient. You slip your free hand into his, clutching the popcorn box against your chest as you walk over to the exit.
“Would you like me to carry that for you?” He asks.
“Yes please.” You nod, and he effortlessly takes it from you between his fingers.
Robin fake gags, causing him to roll his eyes. “You two are disgustingly cute, I hate it.” She says, but there’s no real hatred in her tone.
“Who’s driving us back home?” Nancy asks, pushing the exit door open.
“I can.” Jonathan says.
“I also can.” You add.
Robin’s eyes immediately flick to Steve, waiting for his response. “Just say no for once. I will smile for the rest of my life.” She says, dragging her hand down her face.
“It saves me from driving everyone around for hours, actually. I’ll happily let her drive us all home.” Jonathan shrugs.
Steve glances at Robin. “Well, wasn’t that easy?” He says, shooting her a glare.
Robin groans, walking through the exit.
“You’re so easy, Steve.” Robin teases.
“She’s not wrong. I don’t think I ever hear you say no.” Nancy adds, raising her eyebrows.
“No.” Steve says simply.
The group shoot him a look, and you can’t help but laugh.
“Don’t join in with them too.” Steve groans at you, though he only pulls you closer to himself.
“They aren’t wrong, Steve.” You whisper.
“Maybe not, but what’s the problem with it?” He asks you.
Robin gasps comically, sarcastically. “No way. He finally admits it. We must broadcast this to the world.”
“Could you just stop talking for a minute?” Steve shoots back and turns to look at you.
“I don’t have a problem with it.” You say with a sweet smile.
“I’m glad that someone doesn’t.” He rolls his eyes, leading you over to the car.
You slip into the driver’s seat, adjusting the seat to your height whilst Steve gets into the passenger seat, and the group slide into the back. Steve slides a cassette tape into a player to play in the background to fill up the noise, which definitely wasn’t going to be necessary. You drive out of the parking lot and start to drive to everyone’s houses.
They’re relentlessly teasing Steve in the back, dragging out his inability to say no for as long as they could, which you found hilarious. He had nothing else to say to shoot back at them, so he groaned and listened to them.
“You’re completely hopeless, dude.” Jonathan laughs.
“Steve, would you be the sweetest and turn this song off? I hate it.” Robin mocks, and you keep your focus on the road, physically holding yourself back from laughing.
Steve huffs, tilting his head back against the headrest. “You’re relentless.”
“You make me want to barf every time you do that weird squeaky voice.” Robin laughs.
“I thought I was the only one that noticed that.” Nancy adds.
He rolls his eyes. “You’re making things up now.”
“No, no.” Robin shakes her head. “Once I noticed it, it’s now the only thing I can notice.”
“Can I do anything without you commentating on my life?” He asks, turning his head to look back at the group, earning a shrug from them all.
Once you dropped everyone back off at their homes, you watch the tension leave Steve’s shoulders, and he huffs out a breath. You park outside of your house, turning the engine off and looking at Steve with a slightly empathetic look.
“That was an interesting drive.” You whisper.
“I was so close to stepping out of the car.” He groans.
“I think it’s cute that you always say yes to me.” You say with a sweet smile before stepping out of the car, walking up to the door.
Steve jogs behind you, his body pressed tightly against yours as you search for your keys. He rests his chin on your shoulder, his arms around your torso. You unlock the door, stepping inside and slipping your shoes off. As soon as his are off, he carefully backs you against the wall, his lips brushing along your neck.
“Steve!” You laugh, pulling him closer.
“Hm?” He says, acting completely oblivious as he presses kisses along your neck.
“I haven’t even taken my coat off yet.” You whisper.
“Don’t need to.” He mumbles.
Your hands slip through his hair. “I also need to prepare dinner.”
“Just give me a sec, baby.” He murmurs, settling his hands on your hips and settling his head on your shoulder.
“What happened to you always saying yes to me?” You ask with a laugh, and he perks his head up.
“Right.” He nods.
“I’m only kidding. It can wait.” You say with a sweet smile, and he grins, pressing his lips to yours, humming.
Even though Steve knew that the group were going to give him shit for life because of this, he could never contain himself. He was too far into it now, he would never get himself to stop.
Thank you for reading!! 💕 Liking and reblogging is very much appreciated!! 💕 This is the first time in weeks that I've been able to sit for a while and write something without getting distracted. Exam tomorrow, woop woop
Summary: A little smau about all the times Kimi has been simping about you over the radio, featuring poor Bono just trying to do his job.
Tags: fluff, humor, established relationship
Warnings: swearing
Other drivers: Radio Check | Masterlist
antonellisradio
Liked by georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1, f1gossippofficial, and 2,847,663 others
antonellisradio Kimi’s radio just hours after the picture of him and Y/N kissing was posted by the official Mercedes instagram account! 🩶🥹
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username now i finally get what people mean when they say puppy love
username Oh to be young and in love for the first time again 😭
username 18yo old boys at my school should take notes fr
username Ikr, Kimi’s so fucking successful at 18 and yet he’s such a lil puppy in love AND PROUD OF IT
olliebearman When you simp so hard you gotta belt out some tswift
kimi.antonelli I swear I switched off the radio!!!
yourusername I’m glad you didn’t ❤️
kimi.antonelli ❤️❤️❤️
username i feel sick
antonellisradio
Liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63, and 3,193,093 others
antonellisradio Kimi’s radio after his first ever podium in Canada! Congrats on P3, Kimi!🇨🇦🩶
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username Guy got everything he worked his whole life for just to say chilling with his girl AT SCHOOL is better
username it’s moments like these that remind you he’s basically still a kid in a race car
maxverstappen1 Rookie mistake
kimi.antonelli MATE!!!
yourusername Big words after telling me you’d sometimes rather spend time at home with the cats
username Clocked him real fast lmao
username not her exposing max 😭😭 ain’t no one tryna attack her man
antonellisradio
Liked by yourusername, f1gossippofficial, and 3,987,020 others
antonellisradio Kimi’s radio after his DNF in Japan today. 😢
Also, isn’t Bono just the sweetest sometimes? 🩶
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username the whole team is always so so soft with him i’m gonna cry 😭
username Lmao yeah, a rookie winning a race. Shouldn’t promise such bullshit to begin with.
username Do you ever get tired?
username Of?
username Living with your pathetic self.
username Find someone who loves you the way Kimi loves Y/N
username it actually looked like he had tears in his eyes, he didn’t want to disappoint her 😭
username everyone in this comment section is so fucking dramatic istg, this shit happens in F1 and if he can’t deal with it he doesn’t belong there
yourusername Wow, you must be very miserable ❤️ by author
username Y/N defending Kimi as always 🥹
antonellisradio
Liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman, yourusername, and 5,929,003 others
antonellisradio Kimi’s first radio after the summer break is here! Seems like he’s still stuck in the summer with Y/N.
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username I think Bono needs another summer break after this conversation lmao
username imagine going to work just to get terrorised by a 18yo kid
bono 💔
kimi.antonelli I’m sorry mate
username not Bono lurking in the comments 😭
username omg he’s such a lovesick fool
username Hey God it’s me again 🙏🏻
antonellisradio
Liked by georgerussell63, yourusername, kimi.antonelli, and 3,997,182 others
antonellisradio Baku, Q3: Another DNF for Kimi after he crashed into the wall. However, where he was holding back tears last time, he’s still able to joke about it this time.
Bono was there too, I guess.
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username y’all gotta go actually listen to this istg bono was so fucking done
username ikr the way he mumbled that last one to himself, simply defeated
yourusername This whole convo just further proved my point, greenest flag there is @/kimi.antonelli ❤️
kimi.antonelli You’re just too sweet to me, amore mio ❤️
georgerussell63 You guys talk like an old married couple
kimi.antonelli Well we’re going to be one, one day
username that’s it. i’m deceased.
mercedesamgf1 @/bono, please don’t leave us. We promise it’s gonna get better. Just hang in there.
—
Other drivers: Radio Check | Masterlist
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! (For a particular driver or every version is up to you!)
ʚɞ You and steve had been connected at the hip for years until high school came and he got swept away into chaos leading him to be become someone new, someone too “cool” for you and your friendship. You swore you hated him, swore you’d never speak to him again until he starts hanging around your younger brother and one day shows up at your house drugged and beaten with your brother begging for your help.
𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ Hi! i honestly haven’t written in years so this is a little sloppy and all over the place but i figured i should start writing my thoughts down and share them bc who doesn’t love steve. i might try to write a part two if i can be more organized during writing it’s also poorly proofread i just wanted to post it before i got to scared. i hope you enjoy angels 🤍
Wc: 4.1k (ish)
There was no big fight signaling the end of the friendship. no yelling no violent words thrown back back forth no conversation about it at all. It happened under your nose, one day it was there then the next it started floating away too fast for you to react. The two of you met at camp the summer before second grade and from that moment on you did everything together. You went through the transition from elementary school to middle school together and the awkward puberty stage together but nothing could tear you apart until steve entered high school while you were a year younger. You were soft spoken, reserved and shy meanwhile steve fed of the attention of popularity, he loved it to the point of completely becoming someone new. His Freshman year wasn’t so bad you guys still spoke still hung out occasionally but when it was your turn to go to hawkins high he completely acted like you didn’t exist. He walked around school head held high with tommy h and carol and coined the name “king steve”. On your first day for freshman year he walked past you without a glance and from that moment on you knew he was gone.
After adapting to the new environment you learned your so called place in high school hierarchy. You made new friends, got good grades, stepped out of your comfort zone and became someone new. Someone who didn’t let people get under your skin the way steve did freshman year. You avoided him, kept distance and learned to not let it bother you until one day he and your younger brother dustin became some weird kind of friends and now he was showing up to your house casually like nothing happened between you two. And oh you fucking hated it.
July came with heat, sweat, melted ice pops and starcourt mall your new favorite way to escape the sun.
“ i don’t understand why you won’t just say yes he’s been begging to go out with you for like months” mary said as you two casually walked through the mall swinging The gap bags in your hands.
“ Cole is too.. i don’t know not me” you say looking at the floor
“ you mean he’s so much like steve” mary deadpans
the mention of him name makes you snap your head at her with a confused look. it had been years since you spoke about him as your about to be a senior in high school the upcoming fall.
“ don’t look at me like that you know it’s true i mean come on cole’s on the basketball team he’s got girls throwing themselves at him left and right and he does have really nice hair kinda like you know who” she says looking at you observing your reaction
“ok that really makes me wanna go out with him now” you say through laughter as you walk past scoops ahoy not realizing that who mary was comparing cole to stood right inside catching a glimpse of you almost letting it weigh on him. Almost.
Over the next few days you decided that you didn’t want to let your hatred of jocks because of steve hold you back anymore and maybe cole would change your presumptions. To be fair cole was nice to look at, tall, Blonde, Sharp blue eyes and wide shoulders you wouldn’t mind holding on too. You knew steve hated cole in high school and maybe that would have stopped you from going for it in the past but now the thought of letting an old friends past opinions stop you felt wildly stupid.
On your next trip to the mall you and mary ran into cole and his friends and all your fears flew out of the window.
“hey y/n” Cole said walking over to you looking you up and down meeting you half way to stand conveniently directly in from of scoops.
“ Oh hey cole nice uh.. shirt” as soon as the words came out of your mouth you internally cringed but decided to not let that stop you.
“hey thanks came here a few days ago and got it had to come back though i figured id need something nice to wear to the fair since i plan to ask someone special to go with me” he says casually running his hands through his blonde hair looking at you like he was implying something that you didn’t pick up on for a moment.
And then it clicked “ oh really i’m sure she would have a great time with you… and your new outfit” you say offering him and sweet smile but you were internally screaming at yourself because the talking to a boy like this felt so foreign to to since you swore of men at 14.
The conversation continued with mindless flirting and awkward looks until he handed you his phone number written on the back of a half crumpled receipt and told you to call him later before walking away only to turn back and wink at you. You had been so in your own world trying not to sound like a freak but also trying to flirt successfully with no practice that you didn’t realize the eyes looking at you from inside the ice cream shop.
“whatcha looking at sailor” robin said to steve who had been awkwardly standing still scooper in hand. her eyes followed his until they saw you right before you walked away giggling with mary holding the receipt with both hands.
“ohhhhh who’s that, do you know her, should i add a tally under you suck” she said poking his side as he finally moved from his spot he had been in during your whole interaction with cole.
ripping of the sailor hat and trying to fix his hair that’s too far gone he mumbled “ not anymore i used to this isn’t a tally moment robin” he said giving air quotes.
“ this is gonna sound … weird but since i gave up the whole “king steve” act i’ve been thinking about the stupid crap i did” he said as he pushed himself up to hit on the counter behind robin.
“awww self reflection you know that’s a good sign right it’s like stage 3 in becoming less assholey”
“what did you do to her stand her up or something, call her another girls name” she dramatically stopped and turned to face him “did you give her an STD” she said pointing a finger at him.
“ ok what… one i never even had an STD two i didnt stand her up or whatever else your saying… she was my best friend and i kinda went ghost a few years back you know peak assholey phase” steve said hands up in defense.
“ oooooh i see typical prime bird brain steve” robin said before turning to wipe the counter.
“she’s dustin’s older sister” steve blurts out causing her to whip her head around and stare.
“ so you dropped the older henderson and moved on to the younger one… what is it with you and that family” the girl said laughing as steve rolled his eyes and whent to help a customer.
The phone call with cole went better than expected later that night and you finally caved and officially planned to go to the fair with him on saturday giving you three days to try and learn how to flirt but you weren’t hopeful.
The fair was bright and loud, running wild with kids and families. The multicolored lights flashed across the warm July sky as the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon. The smell of popcorn, cotton candy, and funnel cakes drifted through the air, mixing with the sounds of laughter and music from the rides. Ferris wheels sparkled with glowing lights distracting you from the hand that was wrapped around your own .
“Are you having fun?” Cole asked, smiling as you walked past the game booths.
“Yeah, actually. I was kind of nervous before tonight, but this is really nice,” you admitted.
“I was nervous too,” Cole laughed. “I spent way too long deciding what to wear.”
you smiled. “hey i thought you went and got a new outfit for this specifically”
“I did but the weather is so unpredictable… it’s really damn hot” he said shyly whipping sweat of his head.
you continued walking through the crowded fair, listening to the music and watching the rides speed past and children buzz with excitement.
Cole pointed toward the Ferris wheel. “You know, I think that has the best view here.”
You looked up at the towering ride. “It does look pretty amazing.”
Cole hesitated for a second before speaking. “Would you want to go on it with me?”
“The Ferris wheel?” you asked.
“Yeah. Unless you’re secretly terrified of heights.”
You laughed. “A little, maybe. But I think I can survive one ride.”
“Good,” Cole said, grinning. “Because I’d hate to miss the chance to see the whole fair from up there.”
“Then let’s do it.”
As you joined the line, Jake glanced over at her. “I’m glad you came tonight.”
You smiled. “Me too.” realizing maybe he wasn’t so bad after all
“Dude, why do you keep asking about her?” Dustin asked. “I told you she doesn’t care. Like, seriously. You’re making this way weirder than it needs to be.”
Steve sighed. “I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do,” Dustin said. “You’ve brought her up three times this week. Three. That’s not normal people behavior.” the boy said pointing a finger in steve’s face.
Robin snorted “He’s obsessed.”
“I’m not obsessed.”
“Sure,” Robin said. “And I’m secretly the mayor of Hawkins and you totally didn’t stare at her at work the other day for like ten whole long painful excruciating minutes”
Steve rolled his eyes “I’m just thinking about it.”
“Thinking about a friendship that ended four years ago?” Robin asked. “That’s somehow pathetic but makes total sense for you.”
“Thanks for the support.” steve said.
“Anytime.” Robin said shoving her face with more cotton candy.
Dustin looked between them “For real though, man. You guys barely talk. Actually, scratch that—you don’t talk at all i mean she acts like you don’t exist when your at my house and you do the same so what’s with the change of attitude harrington .”
“she got boobs, nice ones” robin said smirking
“Ew, Buckley, that’s my sister. Can we not?” Dustin said, pretending to gag.
Robin shrugged.
“What? I’m just saying. It’s not like he’s suddenly interested in her sparkling personality after ignoring her for four years.”
Steve groaned.
“Can both of you stop talking about me like I’m not standing here?”
“No,” Robin and Dustin said at the same time.
Robin pointed her cotton candy at him “Then explain it, Harrington.”
“Explain what?”
“The sudden interest.”
Steve opened his mouth, then closed it.
“See?” Robin said. “He doesn’t even have an excuse.”
“Maybe I just feel bad.”
Robin burst out laughing“Oh, that’s pathetic.”
“Thanks.”
“No, seriously. You spend years not talking to each other, and now you’re wandering around looking like someone kicked your puppy because she won’t magically start being your friend again?”
Steve rubbed a hand over his face “You’re making this sound worse than it is.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
Dustin looked at him suspiciously “You know what I think?”
“I don’t, actually.”
“I think something happened at my house that I missed.”
“Nothing happened.”
“That’s exactly what someone says when something happened i mean you are over like all the time.”
Robin gasped dramatically “Oh my God. What if they made eye contact?”
“Robin.”
“Maybe she said hi.”
“Robin.”
“Maybe she asked him to pass the salt and he’s been thinking about it ever since.”
Dustin laughed.
Steve pointed at her “You’re the worst.”
“And yet,” Robin said, smirking, “I’m still not the one asking about Dustin’s sister every five minutes.”
For once, Steve didn’t have a comeback.
That was all the confirmation Robin needed “Oh my God.”
“Don’t.”
“OH MY GOD.”
“Robin.”
“You totally miss her.”
The fair was beginning to wind down by the time Cole walked you back to his car. The bright lights that had seemed so overwhelming hours ago now felt softer, reflecting off the nearly empty parking lot.You held the stuffed bear he had won for you at one of the game booths against your chest as the two of you walked in comfortable silence.
Cole unlocked the passenger door before you could reach for the handle.
“Thank you,” you said.
He gave a small shrug. “Yeah, sure.”
The drive home was quieter than the fair had been.Not awkward.Just calm.The radio played softly in the background while warm July air drifted through the cracked windows.
Cole rested one hand on the steering wheel “I had fun tonight.”
You glanced over “You did?”
He laughed “Was that really that surprising?”
“A little.”
“Why?”
You smiled at the passing streetlights outside “I don’t know. You just seemed nervous.”
Cole groaned “I was nervous.”
“I could tell.”
“Great.”
“You asked me if I was having fun like six different times.”
“Okay, first of all, it was maybe four.”
“It was six.”
“It was not six.”
For a moment neither of you said anything.The houses in your neighborhood began appearing through the windshield.The night suddenly felt like it was ending too fast.Cole pulled up in front of your house and put the car in park.Neither of you immediately moved.
“Well,” you said quietly.
“Yeah.”
The porch light was already on, You looked down at the stuffed bear “Thanks for tonight.”
Cole looked over at you “No problem.”
Another small silence settled between you Not uncomfortable Just neither of you wanting to be the first person to open the door.
Finally you smiled “I had fun too.”
Something in Cole’s expression softened “Good.”
You reached for the handle before pausing “I wouldn’t mind doing this again sometime.”
Cole blinked. Then a grin spread across his face “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” he said, trying and failing to sound casual. “I’d like that.”
You stepped out of the car and started toward your front door.Halfway up the walkway, you turned around.Cole was still there.Watching to make sure you got inside safely.When he realized you’d caught him, he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away with an embarrassed smile.Your smile only grew wider as you headed inside.And Cole didn’t pull away from the curb until the front door closed behind you. Maybe boys weren’t so bad after all.
The days after your date with Cole should have felt normal. Hawkins was still Hawkins the same quiet streets, the same familiar faces, the same routines everyone had followed for years. Yet something felt different. The air seemed heavier somehow, thick with the humidity of late summer and an unshakable feeling that settled in the pit of your stomach. Maybe it was because your mind kept drifting back to Cole and the way he smiled when he dropped you off that night. Maybe it was because the town felt strangely tense, Hawkins felt different. Not wrong exactly—just off. Like the familiar town you had known your entire life was holding its breath, and you had no idea why.
The doorbell rang just as you were walking through the living room.
“Dustin!” you shouted. “Your ride’s here!”
No answer. Typical.
With a sigh, you crossed the room and pulled open the front door. The words died in your throat.
Steve Harrington stood on the porch.
For a second, neither of you spoke. You hadn’t expected him.And judging by the look on his face, he hadn’t expected you either.
“Oh.”
“Hi.”
The greeting came out at the same time. An awkward silence followed.Steve shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket.You tightened your grip on the doorknob.
“Uh… Dustin’s still getting ready.”
“Right.”
Another silence, A painfully awkward one.
You glanced toward the stairs. Steve looked at the welcome mat.
The years between you seemed to stretch across the doorway. Finally, Steve cleared his throat.
“So… how’ve you been?” The question caught you off guard.
Good, you wanted to say.
Busy.
Fine.
Instead, all that came out was: “Good.”
Steve nodded “Good.”
Silence.
Somewhere upstairs, something crashed “DUSTIN!” your mom yelled.
Steve laughed before he could stop himself. The sound surprised both of you.For the first time, the tension eased slightly.
“Some things never change,” he said.
You couldn’t help smiling. “No. They really don’t.”
Steve noticed Just for a second.
Then Dustin came barreling down the stairs “There you are!” he said, grabbing his backpack. “Why are you both standing there looking weird?”
You immediately stepped back from the doorway “We’re not.”
“You totally are.”
“Dustin.”
“What?”
Steve rubbed a hand over his face “Can we just go?”
Dustin looked between the two of you. Then a grin slowly spread across his face “Oh my God.”
“What?” you and Steve asked simultaneously.
Dustin pointed dramatically “You both still do that.”
“Do what?” Steve asked.
“The talking at the same time thing.”
Neither of you had a response to that.
Dustin’s grin widened“Interesting.”
Before he could say anything else, Steve grabbed the strap of Dustin’s backpack and steered him toward the driveway “Get in the car.”
“You can’t silence the truth, Harrington!”
You rolled your eyes as Dustin continued shouting nonsense all the way to the car.
Steve opened the driver’s door before pausing.For a moment, he glanced back at the porch.
You were still standing there.
Watching.
His expression softened “See you around.”
The words were casual. Simple even.But they were the first real words either of you had spoken to each other in years.
You nodded “Yeah. See you around.”
Steve gave a small smile before climbing into the car.
You tried not to think about Steve after he left with Dustin.You really did.There was no reason to.Years had passed since the two of you had been friends, and even more time had passed since either of you had made an effort to fix whatever had broken between you. Somewhere along the way, ignoring each other had become easier than dealing with it.At least, that’s what you had always told yourself.But for some reason, seeing him standing on your front porch had unsettled something.Not in a bad way.Just enough to leave you confused.
You found yourself replaying the interaction at random moments throughout the day. The awkward silence. The way he looked just as uncomfortable as you felt. The small laugh the two of you had shared when Dustin nearly destroyed something upstairs.Most confusing of all was how normal it had felt.Not the awkwardness.The familiarity underneath it.
Like no matter how many years had passed, some part of your brain still remembered what it was like when Steve Harrington had been someone you talked to every day.
You hated that thought.Especially because things with Cole were going well.Cole was easy to be around. Easy to talk to. You found yourself smiling whenever you thought about the fair or the way he’d waited until you got inside before driving away.
So why was Steve suddenly taking up space in your head?t wasn’t like you missed him.At least, you didn’t think you did.Maybe you were just bothered by the fact that there had never been any real ending. No conversation. No closure. Just years of silence that had slowly turned two former friends into strangers.
The more you thought about it, the less sense it made.Because when you looked at Steve standing on your porch, he hadn’t felt like a stranger.And maybe that was the part that bothered you most.You weren’t sure whether you were remembering who he used to be or realizing that you never completely forgot.
Sleep refused to come.No matter how many times you rolled over or fluffed your pillow, your thoughts kept circling back to Steve.
To the awkward conversation.To the way he had looked at you before leaving.To the fact that seeing him again had stirred up feelings you couldn’t quite name.
By midnight, you finally gave up.You changed into your favorite pajamas—a soft oversized T-shirt and plaid shorts—and settled into bed with a book, hoping it would distract you.It didn’t.
The house had gone completely quiet.Your parents were asleep.Dustin hadn’t been home for hours.The only sound was the occasional creak of the old Henderson house settling for the night.
Then came a loud bang.You sat upright immediately. Another noise followed.The unmistakable sound of someone stumbling into a wall downstairs.
“Dustin?” you called.
No answer.A knot formed in your stomach.
You slipped out of bed and pulled open your bedroom door.The moment you stepped into the hallway, you heard frantic footsteps on the stairs.
Then Dustin appeared Half dragging, half supporting someone beside him.
Your heart nearly stopped.
Steve.
His arm was slung over Dustin’s shoulders while Dustin struggled to keep him upright.
“Dustin, what happened?” you asked, rushing forward.
“I need help,” he blurted That alone was enough to make your stomach drop.
Dustin never asked for help.
Not like this.
Steve’s head lolled slightly as he looked up His eyes seemed unfocused.
Distant.
Like he couldn’t quite figure out where he was.n“Hey,” he said suddenly.
You froze.“Hi.”
Steve pointed vaguely in your direction.“You’re real.”
“Okay,” Dustin muttered. “See? This is what I’ve been dealing with.”
“What happened to him?”
“I’ll explain later.”
“Dustin—”
“Please.”The panic in his voice stopped you.
For a moment, you simply stared.
Steve looked exhausted. His clothes were dirty. There were cuts along his arms and face.Dark bruises spread beneath his skin, blooming in soft patches of purple, blue, and red that reminded you of watercolor paint bleeding across wet paper, color spreading beneath the surface in uneven shapes.Evidence of something painful.Something neither boy seemed ready to explain.
Your chest tightened.“Dustin…”
“Please help me clean him up before Mom sees.”
Steve blinked“Oh.”
Everyone looked at himHe pointed at Dustin “He’s tiny.”
Dustin closed his eyes “I know.”
“And angry.”
“I know.”
“You yell a lot.”
“Dude.”
Steve frowned thoughtfully “I think you’re my friend.”
For the first time all night, Dustin almost smiled “Yeah, idiot. I am.”
Steve nodded like this was the most important revelation he’d ever had “Good.”Then his gaze drifted toward you.
His expression softened immediately “Oh.”
You swallowed“Oh?”
A slow smile appeared on his face “There’s two Hendersons.”
“Oh my God,” Dustin groaned.
You couldn’t help it. Despite everything.Despite the confusion.Despite the bruises and whatever terrible thing had happened.A laugh escaped.
Steve smiled wider. Like hearing it was enough.
Dustin pointed toward the bathroom You nodded immediately.As you hurried away, you couldn’t shake the image of Steve leaning heavily against your brother, bruised and exhausted, yet somehow still trying to smile.
And for reasons you didn’t understand, that frightened you far more than the injuries themselves.
The bathroom door clicked shut behind Dustin “ill be right back,” he said. “Just… make sure he doesn’t fall over.”
“Dustin—” Too late. He was already gone.
You stared at the closed door. And Steve sat on the edge of the bathtub while you carefully cleaned the cut near his eyebrow.
For once, he wasn’t talking.
He just watched you.The kind of stare that made you aware of every movement.
Every breath.
Every second.
“You’re still doing that.”
You glanced up“Doing what?”
“The concentration thing.”
“What concentration thing?”
Steve smiled softly “The one where your eyebrows pull together when you’re focused.”
Your hand paused “You remember that?”
“Of course I remember that.”
The answer came too quickly. Too honestly.
Something twisted uncomfortably in your chest.“You remember weird things.”
Steve laughed quietly “No.”
His eyes dropped to the floor “I remember everything.”
The smile disappeared from your face.Neither of you spoke for a moment.
Then Steve shook his head.“God.”
“What?”
His laugh was softer this time.
Sadder.
“We were such idiots.”
You looked down at the bandage in your hands“Yeah.”
“No.”Steve rubbed a hand over his face. “I mean me.”
The words surprised you.Steve wasn’t usually the type to admit fault.Not even before everything happened.
“I spent years convincing myself I didn’t care.”
You froze. The confession seemed to surprise him too. Like he’d only realized he was thinking it once the words were already out.
“I’d see you at school and pretend it didn’t bother me.”
Your chest tightened. “Steve—”
“I’m serious.”His gaze stayed fixed somewhere on the bathroom floor. “Every time.”
The room suddenly felt too small. Too warm.
You weren’t sure what to do with this version of him. The honest version.The one that wasn’t hiding.
“You’d walk by with your friends and I’d act like I didn’t even notice.” A hollow laugh escaped him. “Then I’d spend the rest of the day thinking about it.”
The bandage in your hand suddenly became very interesting. Because looking at him felt impossible.
“Why?”The question came out before you could stop it.
Steve blinked. Then looked at you. “Why what?”
“Why did it bother you?”
For a second, neither of you moved. The answer seemed obvious. And somehow impossible.
Finally Steve smiled. Not his usual smile. Something smaller. More fragile.
“Because you were my person.”
The words stole the air from your lungs.
Steve immediately looked away As though hearing himself say it had embarrassed him. “We told each other everything.” His voice had grown quieter.
“You knew me before everybody else did.”
The lump in your throat became impossible to ignore.
“Then one day we just…” He gestured vaguely.
“Stopped.”
The silence stretched.
Years of hurt packed into a single unfinished sentence.
You looked down “I thought you didn’t care.”
Steve laughed. The sound was almost heartbreaking.
“Yeah.” His eyes met yours again “So did I.”
Something in your chest cracked slightly.
Not broken. Just shifting. Changing shape.
Steve stared at you for a long moment.The drugs had made him honest. Painfully honest and all of The usual walls were gone. for the first time in years, you were seeing exactly what was underneath.
“You know what’s stupid?”
“What?”
His smile returned.Small.
Fond.
“I saw you on the porch today and all I could think was that you’re still pretty.”
Your breath caught.
Steve’s eyes widened immediately. “Oh.”
For the first time all night, he looked genuinely alarmed. “I wasn’t supposed to say that one.”
Despite everything, a laugh escaped you.
Steve dropped his head into his hands “Oh my God.”
“You said it.”
“I know.” His voice was muffled. “I am having the worst day of my life.”
You laughed again. And when Steve looked up, he was smiling too.Like hearing you laugh was worth every embarrassing thing he’d accidentally admitted.
The moment lingered.Neither of you looking away. Neither of you quite sure what to say next.
Then the bathroom door burst open.Dustin stepped inside carrying an ice pack.
He stopped immediately.
Looked at Steve.
Looked at you.
Looked back at Steve.
“…Why does it feel like I interrupted something?”
Steve immediately pointed at him “Your sister is really pretty”
Dustin groaned so loudly it echoed through the entire house. “you are gonna regret that in the morning buddy”
Summary: You could never stay mad at Steve "The Hair" Harrington especially when he's bruised and exhausted
Steve Harrington was good at a lot of things.
He was good at pretending he wasn’t scared. Good at swinging a nail-covered bat like he hadn’t spent most of his life caring more about his hair and popularity than literal monsters from another dimension. Good at cracking dumb jokes when the world was falling apart.
But he was terrible at saying goodbye to you, especially when you were angry.
“You’re seriously doing this again?” you asked, voice tight as you stood in the middle of the kitchen, arms wrapped around yourself like they could hold you together.
Steve paused by the front door, already wearing that worn denim jacket, bat resting against his shoulder. He looked at you with that familiar mix of guilt and stubbornness.
“I’m listening,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I just… I don’t know what you want me to say right now.”
“I want you to stop acting like you’re the only one who can fix this!” Your voice cracked. “Like you have to be the hero every single time.”
Steve’s jaw tightened. “They need me out there. Dustin, Lucas, the rest of them, they’re kids, and-”
“And what about me?” The words slipped out before you could soften them. You immediately regretted how they sounded, but you didn’t take them back.
The room went quiet. Steve’s hand flexed around the bat handle.
Outside, you could hear the others: car doors slamming, Dustin yelling Steve’s name with that impatient edge he got when he was trying not to sound scared.
Steve glanced toward the door, then back at you. His eyes were tired. “You know I have to go.”
You swallowed hard. “I know you think you do. But you don’t have to do it like this. Not without even talking to me first.”
He took a small step closer but stopped when you didn’t move. “I’m not trying to be invincible. I’m just… trying to keep everyone alive.”
“Yeah, well, who’s keeping you alive?” you shot back, tears stinging your eyes. “Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like you are.”
Steve looked like you’d punched him. For a second, you thought he might drop the bat and stay. But then the muscle in his cheek twitched, the one that always did when he was shutting down emotionally.
“I’ll come back,” he said quietly.
You let out a bitter laugh, wiping at your eyes. “You always say that.”
His face crumpled for just a moment before he forced it back into something steadier. “I mean it this time.”
Then he was gone. The door clicked shut behind him, and the house felt suddenly too big and too empty.
The waiting was the worst part.
You tried to keep busy. You scrubbed the same counter three times. Re-folded the throw blanket on the couch. Made tea and let it go cold. Every little sound outside made your stomach drop, tires on the road, a dog barking, the wind in the trees. You kept checking the clock, hating yourself for the anger still simmering under the fear.
By the time the front door finally creaked open hours later, you were already on your feet.
Steve looked like hell.
His jacket was torn at the shoulder, blood had dried along his hairline and near his eyebrow, and a nasty bruise was spreading across his cheekbone. He moved carefully, like everything hurt, but he still tried to play it cool the second he saw you.
“Before you say anything,” he mumbled, voice hoarse, “I know. I look like shit.”
Your face crumpled.
That broke him faster than any monster ever could. “Hey, hey, no. Don’t cry. Please.”
“You’re bleeding, Steve.” Your voice came out smaller than you wanted.
“I’m fine. It’s mostly not mine.”
“Don’t.” The word came out sharper than you meant. You crossed the room anyway, hands hovering uselessly over him. “Just… don’t do that thing where you pretend you’re okay when you’re clearly not.”
Steve let out a tired breath and leaned back against the closed door. “I’m sorry,” he said, softer this time. “For leaving like that. For not… I don’t know. For not being better at this.”
You reached up and gently touched the uninjured side of his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into your palm like he’d been starving for it.
“I was so mad at you,” you whispered.
“I know.”
“I wanted to stay mad.”
A tired, lopsided smile tugged at his mouth. “Did it work?”
“No. I just ended up worrying myself sick instead.”
Steve’s eyes opened, red-rimmed and exhausted. “I kept thinking about you the whole time. Every time things got bad, I kept thinking, ‘Shit, if I don’t make it back, she’s gonna kill me.’”
You huffed a watery laugh. “You’re an idiot.”
“Yeah,” he agreed easily, “but I’m your idiot.”
You helped him to the couch. He groaned the whole way, muttering under his breath about “stupid demodogs” and “my back is never gonna forgive me.” When he finally sat, he looked so worn out that your chest ached.
You disappeared to grab the first aid kit and came back to find him watching you with that soft, unguarded look he only ever let you see.
“What?” you asked, kneeling in front of him.
“Nothing. Just… missed you. Even though it was only a few hours. Felt like longer.”
You started cleaning the cut on his eyebrow. He hissed when the antiseptic touched his skin but stayed still, one hand resting on your knee like he needed the contact.
“I hate this,” you said quietly as you worked. “I hate waiting. I hate seeing you come back like this. I hate feeling selfish for wanting you to stay.”
“You’re not selfish,” Steve said, wincing again. “I’d be pissed too if it was the other way around. Hell, I’d probably chain you to the couch.”
You raised an eyebrow. “That sounds borderline creepy, Harrington.”
He grinned weakly. “Romantic. I meant romantic.”
You snorted, and for a moment the tension eased. You finished patching him up as best you could, then sat beside him. Steve immediately shifted closer, carefully resting his head against your shoulder with a long, shaky exhale.
“I’m still a little mad,” you admitted after a while, threading your fingers through his messy hair.
“Fair,” he murmured. “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
You turned your head and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, avoiding the bruises. “You came back.”
“I told you I would.” His voice was already getting sleepy. “I’ll always try to come back to you. Even when I’m being a stubborn ass.”
You held him a little tighter, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing.
The world outside was still terrifying. Hawkins was still broken. Steve would probably throw himself into danger again the next time it called.
But tonight he was here, warm, alive, and quietly clinging to you like you were the only safe thing left.
english is not my language please be kind and sorry if i wrote wrong :) requests are open if you want!
Summary: A fight and days apart send you spiraling with abandonment fears, until Steve comes back and reminds you he’s not leaving you behind.
Warnings: Emotional conflict, abandonment fears, anxiety spiral, depression , crying, relationship insecurity, mentions of trauma and therapy, comfort.
The argument had been building for weeks, like thunder rumbling in the distance over Hawkins. You could feel it coming, but you kept hoping it would pass.
You and Steve had been together for seven months now, it wasn’t the shiny, butterflies-everywhere phase anymore. It was deeper, more real.
He wasn’t King Steve anymore, the guy who cared mostly about popularity and looking cool, that version of him died somewhere between fighting demogorgons and becoming the designated big brother to a bunch of kids who dragged him into interdimensional chaos. Now he was the Steve who came home with bruised knuckles and tired eyes, who showed up at your door with cheap gas-station flowers just because, and who pulled you close on the couch during movie nights, whispering that you made the nightmares feel farther away.
You loved him for it, you loved how protective he was, how hard he tried to be better but love didn’t stop the loneliness from creeping in.
Lately it felt like the Upside Down, the kids, extra shifts at Family Video, everything came first. You tried to be the cool, understanding girlfriend, you packed him lunch for work, listened when he needed to talk about the latest weird thing happening in town, and reminded yourself that his big heart was one of the reasons you fell for him. Still, the cold, empty nights piled up, the canceled plans, the feeling that you were always waiting.
That Friday was supposed to be different. You’d been looking forward to it for days, dinner at the little restaurant on the Main Street, the one where the owner greeted you both by name now, then back to your apartment for a horror movie marathon. You’d worn the deep red sweater Steve always complimented, the one that made him grin and say you looked like trouble, your hair was done, makeup simple but nice. For the first time in weeks, you felt hopeful.
Steve showed up at 7:20, twenty minutes late, still wearing his Family Video vest over a wrinkled polo, his hair was messy from the wind, and the dark circles under his eyes told you he hadn’t been sleeping well again.
“Hey babe,” he said softly, leaning in to kiss your cheek, he smelled like cologne, popcorn, and a little bit of sweat. “You look amazing. Sorry I’m late, robin was sick, Keith stuck me with closing, and then Dustin called because Hellfire ran over and Lucas is having some kind of meltdown about… stuff.”
You forced a smile as you reached for your jacket. “We can still make the reservation if we leave right now, traffic shouldn’t be bad.”
Steve rubbed the back of his neck, that guilty look crossing his face. “About tonight… I kinda promised the kids I’d head over to Mike’s after, you know Lucas has been acting off lately, talking about feeling watched again. After everything we’ve been through, I can’t just ignore it… you understand, right?”
Your stomach dropped, this was the third time in two weeks.
“Steve…” Your voice started quiet, then cracked. “We barely see each other anymore. I know you want to protect them and i love that about you, but I feel like I’m always on the sidelines, like I come last every single time.”
He sighed, leaning against the doorframe. “Come on, don’t do this right now, it’s not like I’m choosing to ditch you for fun. These are basically my family, you knew who I was when we got together…the Upside Down stuff doesn’t just go away because we want a date night.”
“I did know,” you said, tears stinging your eyes. “But it’s every weekend, Steve, every time we make plans, something comes up. I’m not asking you to abandon them, i just want one night where I’m not competing with guilt or monsters or whatever else is pulling you away. I exist too, my feelings matter too.”
Frustration flashed in his eyes. He was exhausted, you could see it.
“You think this is easy for me? I’m trying so hard to not be the asshole I used to be. Sometimes that means I’m stretched thin. If you can’t handle that part of my life…”
“Maybe I can’t right now!” The words came out sharper than you meant. “Maybe I’m tired of feeling like the needy girlfriend who has to beg for scraps, every time you pull away, even for a ‘good reason,’ it makes me feel like I’m too much, like one day you’ll decide I’m not worth the stress.”
The fight snowballed, voices got louder in your small apartment, old wounds came up, your fear of being abandoned, his fear of never being enough no matter how hard he tried. Eventually Steve stepped back, running a hand through his hair until it stuck up.
“Look,” he said, voice low and tired. “We’re both saying things we don’t mean because we’re exhausted, we need a few days to cool down. I’ll crash at my place, maybe stay with Jonathan and the guys for a bit. Just… space, so we don’t say anything else we can’t take back… then we can talk like adults.”
Your heart sank. “You’re just leaving? After this?”
“It’s not leaving-leaving,” he muttered.
He stepped closer and pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, his lips were warm, but the kiss felt distant. “I love you, okay? I’ll call in a couple days when we’ve both calmed down.”
Then he was gone. The door clicked shut, and the apartment suddenly felt too big and too quiet.
On the first day you told yourself it was normal, couples fought, space was healthy.
You cleaned the kitchen, reheated the pasta you’d made earlier, and tried to watch a movie. Every time your phone buzzed and it wasn’t him, the ache got worse, by evening you were curled up in bed still wearing the red sweater, replaying every word of the fight.
But the next day the fear really set in. You called off your shift at the record store, claiming a migraine. You stayed in Steve’s oversized hoodie on the couch, his scent still clinging to it. Breakfast was half a cup of coffee, lunch never happened and the thoughts got louder: “He’s relieved to have a break from you. You’re too broken for someone like him. He’s survived literal hell, he doesn’t need your moods on top of it.”
You cried in the shower until the water went cold.
On day three he still didn't reach, and everything fell apart, dishes piled up, laundry sat untouched. You ignored texts from Robin, showers felt impossible. The black-and-white thinking took over: “He’s either all in or he’s gone and he’s gone now because you showed him the real you.” you thought
As the days keep going you become a ghost. Hair unwashed, eyes swollen, wearing the same hoodie for days. The apartment stayed dark and you sat on the couch with your knees to your chest, rocking slightly, the fear turning into a heavy numbness.
That evening, the lock clicked.
Steve stepped inside and stopped cold when he saw the mess, the darkness and you, looking completely wrecked.
“Baby…?” His voice cracked with worry.
You looked up slowly. The moment you saw him, eyes wide with guilt and fear, something inside you broke open and sobs tore out of you.
“You came back,” you whispered, voice raw. “I thought you weren’t going to.”
Steve dropped his keys and crossed the room in three strides, pulling you into his arms, he held you tight, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other wrapped around your waist like he could keep you from falling apart.
“God, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice thick. “What happened? You look like you haven’t slept or eaten in days. I’m so sorry, i thought space would help us both think clearly. I had no idea it would do this to you.”
You clung to his shirt, crying harder. “I thought you were done with me, that the fight showed you how messed up I am and you finally saw I wasn’t worth it. The space… it felt like you were leaving for good.”
Steve rocked you gently, pressing kisses to your hair. “I’m right here, i’m not going anywhere.”
When the worst of the sobs eased, you pulled back just enough to look at him, your voice shook. “Steve… It's just that abandonment stuff still hits me really hard, even if i’m going to therapy and when you said you needed space, my brain twisted it into ‘he’s leaving forever.’ It gets so loud I can’t think straight.”
His expression softened with understanding and regret, he rested his forehead against yours. “I wish I’d known how bad it gets for you. You’ve mentioned tough times before, but not this. I’m sorry I triggered it, you’re not too much, you’re not broken, you’re the person who makes me laugh after dealing with all the crazy shit. The one who holds me when the nightmares come back. I love every part of you.”
He wiped your tears with his thumbs. “Next time we fight, no big space, we take a walk, sit in the same room, whatever. You tell me when the fear gets loud, even if it feels stupid, and I’ll remind you I’m staying. You’re not alone in this anymore.”
Relief flooded through you, shaky but real.
Steve helped you up, he drew a hot shower and stepped in with you, washing your hair with gentle fingers while telling you silly stories about Dustin’s latest Hellfire drama and Robin’s awkward attempts at flirting. You even laughed a little through the tears.
Afterward, he changed the sheets, ordered your favorite pasta and his burgers with extra fries and milkshakes. You sat on the floor at the coffee table, and he held your hand the whole time, making sure you ate slowly.
That night he pulled you into bed and wrapped himself around you completely, chest to your back, arm over your waist, legs tangled with yours, his breath was warm against your shoulder.
“Tell me what you need right now,” he whispered.
“Just this,” you mumbled, sleepy and small. “You not letting go.”
“I won’t,” he promised, holding you tighter. “Ever, we’ve survived demogorgons and the Upside Down. We can survive fights and hard days. I love you…all of you.”
For the first time in four days, the loudest voice in your head went quiet. The fear was still there, lingering in the shadows like it always would, but Steve’s steady heartbeat against your back felt stronger. In your quiet Hawkins apartment, with real monsters outside and painful ones inside, this moment was enough.
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
steve harrington loved summer for completely pathetic reasons.
not normal reasons, either.
not because school was out. not because the weather was nice.
not because robin stopped complaining quite as much when she got enough sunlight.
no.
steve loved summer because you wore tiny little outfits that made him forget how to function as a human being.
which was exactly the problem he was currently dealing with.
“you’re staring again,” robin said flatly from beside the grill.
steve blinked once. “huh?”
“your girlfriend.”
he looked back toward the pool automatically.
mistake.
huge mistake.
you were sitting at the edge of the deep end in a red bikini, legs dangling in the water while max braided little sections of your damp hair for no reason other than boredom. sunlight glowed against your skin, making the red look even brighter somehow, and every time you laughed, steve felt it physically in his chest.
it had been two years.
two entire years together.
and somehow you still walked into a room and ruined his life instantly.
robin followed his line of sight and groaned dramatically.
“jeez.”
“what?”
“you look obsessed.”
“i am obsessed.”
“yeah, but usually people hide it a little.”
steve ignored her completely.
because you had just looked up and smiled at him. that soft, automatic smile that only ever belonged to him.
his stomach flipped like an idiot.
robin looked genuinely ill now. “you know what? i hope you both get married so i never have to witness this with anyone else.”
nancy snorted from her lounge chair. “they already act married.”
“thank you,” steve said.
“that wasn’t support,” robin informed him.
before he could answer, dustin came tearing through the backyard gate holding three bags of chips.
“why does it smell burnt out here?”
“because robin’s cooking,” jonathan answered.
“rude,” robin called.
“it true,” nancy corrected redireccting robin back to food that was on the verge of turning black.
the younger kids spilled into the backyard behind dustin immediately — will carrying popsicles, lucas with a basketball under one arm for reasons nobody understood, mike already arguing about something, and eleven trailing behind them with sunglasses nearly sliding off her face.
complete chaos.
steve loved it.
mostly because for once, everybody was safe enough to be loud.
“you started without us?!” dustin yelled, horrified.
“you were late,” steve answered.
“it’s summer!”
“and? max made it here on time.”
“time isn’t real in summer!”
lucas pointed toward the pool. “shotgun first jump.”
before anyone could argue, he cannonballed directly into the deep end. water splashed everywhere.
including all over you and max.
you gasped loudly. “lucas!”
lucas surfaced laughing hysterically while steve grinned despite himself.
“that’s what you get for sitting too close.”
you turned immediately toward him, narrowing your eyes.
“you’re on his side?”
“always.”
“wow.”
“it was a solid cannonball. i respect it.”
you rolled your eyes, smiling anyway.
gosh.
that smile.
robin made another disgusted noise beside the grill. “you two flirt like you’re trying to make everyone else single on purpose.”
“you are single on purpose,” steve pointed out.
“that’s different dingus.”
the afternoon settled into easy noise after that.
music drifting through the speakers. water splashing endlessly. jonathan burning at least two hot dogs while pretending he wasn’t.
steve spent most of the time in the pool because every time he tried sitting normally, you appeared beside him somehow.
not that he minded.
currently, you were floating lazily beside him in the shallow end while the younger kids screamed through a violent game of marco polo nearby.
your foot brushed his tummy underwater in your floating state.
“you’re staring again,” you murmured.
steve didn’t even deny it. “can you blame me?”
“yes.”
“counterpoint: red bikini.”
you laughed softly, shaking your head. “you’re ridiculous.”
“you knew that already.”
“true.”
he drifted a little closer unconsciously.
or maybe consciously.
honestly, he stopped pretending with you years ago.
your fingers trailed through the water beside his.
“robin’s gonna kill you if you keep looking at me like that in front of her.”
“robin survives exclusively on hating my happiness.”
“also true.”
you tilted your head slightly then, studying him.
his wet hair. sunburn starting across his nose. that stupid relaxed smile he only wore around people he trusted completely.
your expression softened immediately.
steve noticed because steve noticed everything about you.
“what?” he asked quietly.
“nothing.”
“liar.”
you smiled a little coming up to wrap your arms around him. “i just like you.”
his chest actually ached.
it happened embarrassingly often around you.
“good,” he said softly.
your eyes flicked down toward his mouth automatically.
it nearly killed him.
before either of you could do something embarrassing in front of everybody, robin’s voice echoed across the backyard.
“absolutely not!”
you both looked over.
robin pointed her tongs at you two aggressively. “if i have to witness pool make-outs, i’m pushing both of you into traffic.”
nancy looked up from her magazine. “that feels a little extreme.”
“i’m serious.”
steve rolled his eyes. “nobody was making out.”
“yet,” dustin added helpfully.
“shut up, dustin.”
“you’re literally attached to each other.”
you snorted while steve splashed water directly at dustin’s face.
chicken fights started an hour later because lucas claimed he could beat steve in literally anything.
which obviously escalated immediately.
“you’re all talk,” steve called from the pool.
“you’re old!”
“i’m nineteen!”
“exactly!”
teams formed quickly after that.
lucas on dustin’s shoulders.
max on eleven’s.
and you climbing onto steve’s shoulders while he held onto your thighs carefully beneath the water.
“comfortable?” he asked.
“mhm.”
his hands flexed slightly against your skin.
not intentionally.
well probably...
you leaned down a little, smiling. “you okay there, harrington?”
“no, actually.”
you laughed immediately. “dramatic.”
“baby, your legs are literally around me right now. i’m fighting for my life.”
immediately as the game started and all dignity disappeared instantly. water exploded everywhere.
dustin fought dirty.
max nearly drowned lucas.
eleven cheated somehow, though nobody could prove it.
and through all of it, steve couldn’t stop laughing because every time you nearly lost balance, you grabbed onto him tighter.
your hands in his hair. your laugh directly above him. your thighs squeezing around his shoulders while you yelled at dustin for trying to dunk you.
it was maybe the happiest he’d ever been.
which sounded insane over a chicken fight.
eventually everyone collapsed into the water in a giant disaster of limbs and screaming.
you surfaced laughing breathlessly while steve reached for you immediately out of instinct.
his hand settled against your waist automatically.
“you good?” he asked.
“barely.”
“hm, good enough.”
you grinned at him, water dripping down your face.
and steve had the terrifying realization that if you asked him to right then, he probably would’ve married you on the spot.
robin watched the entire interaction with visible exhaustion. “i need both of you psychologically evaluated.”
by sunset, the backyard had gone soft and golden.
the younger kids were exhausted now, spread across towels and lounge chairs eating popsicles while jonathan worked the grill and nancy argued with robin over music.
string lights glowed around the patio.
the pool shimmered blue beneath them.
and steve sat beside you at the edge of the water with your legs tangled together.
your head rested against his shoulder while his fingers traced absent patterns against your knee.
for a while, neither of you spoke.
just listened to everybody else laughing nearby.
then quietly, you said, “today was nice.”
steve hummed softly. “yeah.”
“feels normal.”
that made something in him pause slightly.
because normal used to sound boring.
before everything.
before monsters and nightmares and hospitals and fear.
now normal felt precious.
he turned his head slightly, pressing a kiss into your damp hair.
“i like normal,” he admitted quietly.
you tilted your face up toward him.
soft evening light caught your features. your eyes warm and sleepy from sun and chlorine.
there genuinely wasn’t a universe where steve harrington survived you long term.
“what?” you whispered.
he smiled a little.
“nothing.”
“liar.”
“i’m serious. just…” his thumb brushed slowly against your knee. “thinking.”
“dangerous hobby.”
“yeah.”
you laughed softly.
steve looked at you for a second longer before saying quietly, “you know my favorite part of summer?”
you raised an eyebrow. “the pool?”
“you.”
your face changed instantly.
small smile and softer eyes.
that look he’d spend the rest of his life chasing.
“that was smooth, you flirt,” you murmured.
“thank you.”
“still cheesy though.”
“i’m consistently cheesy. it’s part of my charm.”
“debatable.”
he gasped dramatically. “wow.”
you were still smiling when he kissed you.
slow.
lazy.
warm from summer heat.
the kind of kiss that felt like home now.
comfortable enough that neither of you noticed everyone else going quiet until dustin yelled—
“OH, COME ON!”
you broke apart laughing immediately while robin looked seconds away from throwing herself into traffic. (her words)
“i cannot live like this anymore.”
nancy smiled despite herself. “they’re cute.”
“they’re nauseating.”
steve pulled you closer against his side anyway, completely unashamed.
because honestly?
if everybody had to suffer through how much he loved you, that sounded like their problem.
likes, reblogs, and comments are much appreciated <3
could u request perhaps a steve x reader fic (hurt comfort) where reader and steve get into an argument prior to a crawl and hes being a little stubborn and avoiding reader but finds out from walkie or another person that shes badly hurt and won’t wake up?
happy ending please 🙏🙏 i know this doesnt fit the timeline of your henderson! reader but i don’t mind it being a standalone one shot :)
Just to keep you satisfied
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
⟡ Main Index | ⟡ Archive for Earth-0424
a/n: Suggestions are open for anything, not just Henderson!reader! The fact that my only two ST fics happen to feature that is purely a coincidence, so no worries!
Classification and content warnings: Angst and fluff | Avoidant attachment tendencies, injury, emotional distress related to relationships
Word count: 3,3k
Divider by me ;)
You lived in absolutes, in extremities sharpened by probabilities where every outcome measured against loss, grief and love.
Love most of all.
You had never been optimistic about it. The second something became important enough to lose, your mind immediately began preparing for the damage, so when you and Steve happened, when whatever existed between you stopped being casual and started surviving things that should have destroyed it, your thoughts turned vicious toward yourself.
You questioned every moment of it, every stretch of peace, explaining it away with the town, with trauma and proximity, with the fact that Hawkins had a way of welding people together under pressure until they could not tell the difference between dependence and devotion.
You told yourself it was because you had never seen love done right. Every example you had ever known seemed to rot eventually, becoming bitter, painful or cruel once it settled long enough to harden into permanence. From where you stood, love ruined people, it hollowed them out and left them recognizable only in pieces. You had built your entire life around avoiding that fate, around never needing anyone enough for them to destroy you if they left.
Hyper independence had become religion to you and Steve fought against that without even trying.
The longer your relationship lasted, the more unbearable that realization became since it survived everything thrown at it. Near death, bloodshed, monsters, fear and nights where either of you could have disappeared into the dark and never come back. It stayed standing anyway, stubborn, warm and terrifyingly steady but as long as it stayed exactly what it was, you could breathe through it. As long as nobody touched it, labeled it or pushed it toward something bigger, you could pretend you were still in control but the second the water shifted beneath the boat, the second the future became something tangible instead of implied, bile climbed your throat because the Upside Down had been constant too.
You had spent the entire afternoon preparing for the crawl. Weapons spread across tables, maps pinned down under impatient hands, everyone talking over each other inside the Squawk while tension sat thick in the room like smoke. This time you were going with Hopper. Nobody argued with the choice because every crawl into the Upside Down made the odds worse, every mission sharpening that ugly, unavoidable thought sitting in the back of everybody’s mind.
What if this was the one somebody did not come back from?
By the time the sun began sinking low enough to stain the fields gold and copper, you and Steve slipped outside together, escaping the suffocating planning and worried glances for a little while. The air smelled like dirt and drying grass, warm from the heat of the day but cooling quickly as evening settled over Hawkins.
You watched Steve walk a few steps ahead of you through the field before jogging lightly to catch up. “You think this is it?” you asked.
He glanced over at you, slowing his pace. “That you find Vecna tonight?”
You nodded once.
“The sooner we do,” he said carefully, “the sooner everything goes back to normal.” A grin tugged faintly at his mouth then, teasing something softer into his voice. “We’ll go back to our boring lives…You might actually have to get serious about getting a job.”
You let out a quiet laugh through your nose. “Don’t even know what I’d do with all that safety and time.” Your eyes drifted across the endless stretch of fields around you, the sunset catching along the horizon in bruised shades of orange and pink. “I barely remember what Hawkins was like before all this. Might actually get really boring.”
“We don’t have to stay here,” he said.
There was something careful hidden underneath the words, something almost restrained.
You looked at him sideways. “So what? We escape in one of those shitty getaway cars with the cans dragging behind it and a ‘just married’ sign taped to the back?”
Your tone stayed light, joking but Steve’s expression changed in a way that made your stomach immediately tighten.
He looked at you too long and then he sighed, so quiet you almost missed it but there was relief in it somehow, relief at finally standing near the thing he had clearly been carrying around for a long time.
The look on his face hit you like cold water. He looked hopeful…hopelessly in love.
Your body reacted before your thoughts did. You took a step back instinctively as Steve shook his head gently, almost like he thought moving too fast would scare you off.
“No,” you breathed, pulse beginning to pound hard enough to make your chest ache. Your stomach dropped violently as his stare remained unchanged. “N-no,” you repeated, softer this time, shaking your head.
“You can’t deny something that’s already yours.”
The words landed hard, making your throat tighten. You backed away again while he moved forward slowly, carefully, like approaching something wounded.
You pointed toward the ground between you both as if he had physically contaminated the space with it, with futures, promises and permanence, with things that never lasted for anybody around you no matter how badly they wanted them to.
“You picked a fucked up moment, Steven.”
“We need to make sense of this before you go down there,” he insisted, voice roughening around the edges. God, he was practically begging now. “We’ve had three good years,” he said as he stepped closer again, eyes fixed on yours as if he could hold you there through sheer will alone. “And it’s time we call it what it is.”
You kept shaking your head before you even realized you were doing it, the word ‘no’ falling from your mouth over and over while your feet kept carrying you backward through the field.
“I love you and I have for a long time and you need to hear it.” His voice trembled through the confession even while every word stayed painfully clear, intention unwavering despite the fear cracking underneath it. “I’ve tried to show you and you wouldn’t let me, which is fine, but before you go, before whatever happens down there is out of our hands, I need you to give me an answer because I just can’t…” He stopped for a second, swallowing hard enough for you to see it in his throat. “I can’t keep going like this.”
“Steve, please don’t,” you begged quietly.
But he kept going anyway, because this had clearly been clawing at him for too long to stop now.
“I learned what you couldn’t take and I stopped doing it.” His eyes stayed fixed on yours desperately, trying to hold you still long enough to finally understand him. “And I’m happy I did. It’s fine. And I waited, and I never complained because I...” He broke off suddenly, his expression twisting as his eyes glossed over. “You know, I figured you’d love me.”
The words hit you harder than anything else had.
You kept shaking your head softly, almost unconsciously, hoping he would see the panic written all over your face and stop before either of you said something irreversible.
Instead his voice got louder, never yelling but definitely fuller now, wounded and spilling out too fast to pull back. He looked away from you for the first time, gaze drifting across the field as if he could not bear watching your reaction anymore. It was obvious he was making this part up as he went along, fumbling through raw honesty without a plan, just like the two of you had stumbled through the relationship itself.
“And I realize maybe I messed up somewhere,” he said roughly. “Maybe I fucked the timing completely. Maybe I’m not this changed man everybody keeps saying I am...”
“No,” you cut in, stepping toward him to make him finally look back at you. “Yes, you are.”
Your voice cracked with urgency because none of this changed the fact that he deserved it. He deserved someone capable of holding what he offered without trembling underneath the weight of it.
“You’ve grown into an amazing man,” you said, forcing the words through the tightness in your throat. “Too good for me, and I’m grateful for all of these years and I’m so proud of you.” Emotion climbed too fast into your chest, choking the next sentence apart as soon as it left your mouth. “But I just...” You inhaled shakily. “This isn’t something I know how to keep. I don’t know why.” You shook your head harder, frustrated tears beginning to blur your vision.
“You can’t?” he echoed quietly, brows pulling together.
“No,” you breathed. Then you blinked quickly and kept talking before he could interrupt again, before you lost the nerve to keep hurting him.
“You should be with someone who can actually handle normal life when this is over. Someone who doesn’t flinch every time they’re shown affection and actually knows what to do with it.” Your voice shook despite how hard you tried to steady it. “I’m awkward, and I don’t even understand why we didn’t go wrong already when I’ve been proven over and over again that I ruin things. And I won’t drag you with me past this.” You motioned vaguely around you, toward Hawkins, toward the disaster your lives had become and the rot underneath everything.
“I love you, Y/n,” Steve said in the middle of your spiraling but hearing it again only made your panic sharpen.
“And we’d constantly fight over stupid shit like how I drive your car,” you continued breathlessly, motioning toward the distant shape of it sitting near the road. “We can’t help it even now.” You laughed once, hollow and humorless before your face crumpled again. “You’d end up hating how skeptical I am about everything, and I’d spend every day questioning what you could possibly see in me, and we’d become miserable, Steve. We’d wish we left it trapped here, down there with the demogorgons and all the rest of it, and everything would turn catastrophic.”
The silence afterward stretched painfully long. Only then did you realize Steve was no longer looking at you.
His eyes had dropped toward the ground, jaw tight like he was blaming the dirt beneath his feet, blaming the existence of the Upside Down itself for carving this fear into you so deeply that even love sounded like catastrophe.
“Anything else?” he asked finally. His voice was so quiet you barely heard him.
You bit the inside of your cheek until it hurt before shaking your head. “No. No, nothing else.”
“Alright.” He nodded once, firm and restrained, then turned back toward the Squawk.
The movement made your stomach plunge so violently it almost hurt. You reached for him instinctively. “Except that...”
Steve stopped and turned back toward you again, giving you a small nod to continue.
You froze for a second.
“Steve,” you started weakly, “I don’t think I’ll ever understand how to hold what you tried to give me. This...” You gestured helplessly between you both. “This is safer. Messing it up fatally won’t ruin me this way.”
“I think you’re wrong about that, Y/n,” he replied immediately, voice firm again despite how wrecked he looked.
“I don’t...”
“I think you will find a way,” he interrupted softly. “You’ll find somebody worth risking your heart for, and you’ll love them, and you’ll live and die for them because that’s your way.” His expression tightened painfully as he forced out the rest. “And you will.” He paused. “And I’ll watch.”
You stood there and watched Steve walk away from you while your own feet stayed rooted to the ground. Every instinct in your body screamed to stop him but wanting that and knowing how were two entirely different things and somewhere in the middle of your fear and selfishness you realized you had run out of words to justify yourself with. The reasoning that had always protected you suddenly sounded thin and desperate in your own head.
Still, you let him go.
You kept your eyes lowered when you walked back inside the Squawk, forcing yourself into focus as everybody geared up around you. You concentrated on the plan, on weapons, on timing and routes. You promised Hopper you were fine, focused and ready to go, which were the same lies that had carried you straight toward your own ruin.
You were reckless during the crawl, in small terrible ways that added up fast.
You made decisions that sent adrenaline crashing through your body every few minutes just so you could feel something other than the hollow ache Steve had left behind. It all blurred together quickly after that, dark tunnels of vines, spores and rotting air while demogorgons chased close enough behind you to hear their shrieks echoing against the trees.
You had done this a thousand times before and that was probably the problem.
Your weapon slipped from your grasp while you were running and instead of leaving it behind, instead of following Hopper toward safety like you were supposed to, you slowed down.
You turned back and tried to outsmart it, tried to buy Hopper more time to get ahead…and failed.
The hit came hard and fast, the force of it throwing you violently backward into the trunk of a tree. Pain exploded through your skull the second your head cracked against the bark. Through blurred, tear-filled vision you barely managed to see Hopper firing wildly, injuring the creature enough to force it retreating into the dark.
After that, consciousness came and went in fragments. You felt hands dragging you, voices yelling your name, blood running warm down the side of your face and the suffocating smell of the Upside Down clinging to your lungs.
When you finally forced your eyes open again, you were inside a house you did not recognize, laid out in some dim ruined room overtaken by thick crawling vines spreading across the walls and ceiling.
Hopper’s voice echoed loudly through the haze wrapped around your head as consciousness slowly dragged itself back into place. Your vision swam in and out of focus while you blinked at the ceiling above you, vines twisting across it like veins and watched him pace hurriedly through the room with a walkie talkie clutched tightly in his hand.
He had called in the accident the second you were dragged back to safety.
Steve, reckless in the exact way Steve always was when it came to you, had not hesitated for even a second after hearing Hopper’s voice break over the radio. He had driven straight through the newly opened gate with Nancy, Jonathan and Dustin, tracking a wounded demogorgon deeper into the Upside Down in hopes it would lead them to you. The more Hopper explained what happened, the harder Steve pressed down on the gas pedal, panic swallowing every other thought in his head until even your rejection disappeared beneath the need to reach you.
Now all of them were somewhere out there searching blindly while communication crackled in and out around the interference poisoning the air.
“Steve?” you called weakly, your voice scraping painfully against your throat as you tried pushing yourself upright. The second you moved, agony split through your skull.
Hopper immediately dropped the walkie onto the nearby table and rushed toward you.
“Hey, kiddo, hey.” His hands carefully steadied your shoulders before you could sit fully upright. “Lay back down. You hit your head pretty bad.”
Your fingers instinctively rose toward the throbbing ache near your temple. When you pulled your hand back down, blood stained your fingertips dark.
“It stopped bleeding,” Hopper assured quickly when your breathing shifted unevenly. “But you need to stay down. Help’s coming.”
He guided you gently back against the mattress and this time you let him. Your entire body felt weak and heavy, exhaustion pressing into your bones while pain pulsed behind your eyes.
“I messed up,” you rasped.
Hopper shook his head immediately, even though both of you knew you had. You had broken formation, abandoned the plan and nearly gotten yourself killed. Still, his expression softened instead of hardening.
“We don’t gotta talk about it right now.”
“With Steve,” you corrected shakily, tears burning at the corners of your eyes. “I was too quick turning him down.”
Hopper blinked slowly before exhaling through his nose and lowering himself into the chair beside the bed.
Truthfully, he had guessed as much the second you and Steve walked back into the Squawk earlier that evening. The both of you had looked devastated in entirely different ways and Hopper knew heartbreak well enough to recognize it immediately. He understood now why Steve had seemed ready to tear the world apart before driving into the Upside Down after hearing your name over the radio. Hopper had spent years watching the two of you orbit each other helplessly, stuck in that miserable gray area between fear and devotion, too close to walk away but too terrified to call it what it was.
“Do you love him?” Hopper asked quietly.
You blinked toward the ceiling for a second before answering.
“If he asked me again,” you whispered, swallowing around the knot tightening painfully in your throat, “I think I’d say ‘yes’.” Your eyes finally moved toward Hopper’s. “Do you think he’ll ask me again?”
“But do you love him?” he repeated, firmer this time.
The question settled heavily in your chest. You gave a small nod against the pillow despite the way it made your head pulse violently. Tears slipped freely down your face now, warm against your skin.
“I just don’t want him seeing parts of me he can’t fix,” you admitted brokenly.
Hopper’s expression changed, something deeply understanding moving through his eyes.
Before he could answer, noise erupted from downstairs followed by multiple footsteps and raised voices. Then Steve’s voice cut through everything else as he called your name with enough panic behind it to make your entire body tense.
Hopper watched you react, watched the way your expression changed before you could stop it.
“Upstairs!” Hopper shouted back before slowly standing from the chair. His eyes stayed on you as Steve’s footsteps thundered through the house. “Steve’s a big boy…let him decide that for himself,” Hopper said softly.
Steve appeared in the doorway. His chest heaved violently from exertion, hair damp with sweat and sticking messily to his forehead while his wide frantic eyes landed on you almost painfully fast. Relief and terror crashed across his face so openly it made your chest ache.
He crossed the room. “Oh, my sweet girl,” he breathed.
Steve dropped beside the bed, one hand carefully cradling the side of your head while the other moved shakily over your arms and shoulders like he needed physical proof you were still there. His eyes scanned every visible injury at once, muttering frantically under his breath about getting you out, getting you to a hospital and figuring something out.
“What if you don’t like what you see?” you interrupted weakly, your trembling voice finally pulling his attention fully back to your face.
Steve’s eyes lifted to yours instantly and somehow, in that moment, it felt like he already understood every single thing you meant, like he had seen all the ugly parts already and stayed anyway.
His hand slid slowly to your cheek, thumb brushing carefully over your trembling lower lip while his breathing gradually steadied, his heartbeat finding an entirely different rhythm now that he knew you were alive.
“How deep am I allowed to look?” he asked quietly.
A sob broke from your chest. “As deep as it goes.”
Something in Steve’s expression softened completely before he leaned down carefully and kissed you, deep and warm and maybe a little desperate in a way that felt like breathing after nearly drowning, oxygen finally forcing its way back into your lungs to keep you alive through the pain, the fear and through every doubt that had ever convinced you love would ruin you before it could save you.
a/n: If you enjoyed this, consider saving the archive. More stories are coming, and requests are always welcome! Likes, reblogs and comments help others find my work and mean more to me than you know. Thank you so much for reading 💛
Clingy reader and steve where he loves when she's clingy even in front of the party..
I love ur writinggg
Velcro Hearts
Steve Harrington x clingy!reader 700 words
warnings: fluff, clinginess, dependency,
Steve adores the constant need you have for him, especially when everyone else can see it too
Steve never understood why people always complained about clingy girlfriends. What was there to hate about a girl who loves you so much that she sees something in you no one else saw? Maybe it was because no one has really ever clung to Steve before.
Back in high school, girls liked him, or more so the idea of him—the hair, the name, the popularity. Nobody reached for him without thinking, nobody melted into him without a second thought.
Then you came along.
And suddenly, Steve couldn’t go five minutes without feeling some part of you touching him. Your fingers curled into his sleeves to keep a tight hold on him, your head tucked beneath his chin whenever he sat down, your legs draped across his lap during movie night with the party. Half the time Steve couldn’t move around your place without you trailing after him like a shadow.
“Baby,” he laughed under his breath one late night, glancing back to catch you following him. “You know I’m just getting a glass of water, right? Go back to bed.”
You only rubbed your bleary eyes with a pout, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I can’t.” You mumbled into his soft sleep shirt.
“Why not?” Steve asked, furrowing his brows.
“Because the beds cold without you, and I already missed you.”
Steve nearly dropped the glass in his hand. Every single time. Every damn time you said something like that—a simple yet effective soft confession, his chest did this stupid aching thing.
No one ever looked at him like he held the whole world in his hands.
“Jesus, sweetheart.” He sighed affectionately, turning in your arms to pull you against him properly. “C’mere, baby.”
You smiled immediately, burying your face into his chest as you cocooned yourself soundly, Steve lifting you up to carry you back to the bedroom.
And the way you relaxed the second he touched you? It was a huge difference to people that recoiled away from him, like your body trusted him completely.
“Needy girl,” he teased affectionately, rubbing his hands up and down your back in slow motions.
The nickname stuck after that—his needy girl, and you loved it more than anything. Because you wanted to be his needy girl, to show him that you loved him deep enough for your heart to hurt.
“Needy girl, move over.”
“I love you even more, needy girl.”
“You tired, needy girl?”
And the party had no trouble noticing it immediately, especially Dustin.
“This is actually disgusting.” Dustin looked at you two curled up on the wheelers basement couch with a grimace. “You guys are attached at the hip like some kind of parasite from the upside down.”
Steve didn’t even look up from where he was absentmindedly playing with your fingers, rubbing featherlight touches over your knuckles.
“She likes me.”
Dustin rolled his eyes, groaning. “You’re literally holding her hands while she’s asleep.”
“She can’t sleep when she’s alone.” Steve responded, keeping his gaze on you. Your cheek was smudged against his chest as your hand remained clutched in his own.
“Do you hear how you sound right now? That’s crazy!” Dustin pointed out with disbelief.
“Don’t call my girl crazy.” Steve said almost threateningly, finally glancing upwards to glare at the younger boy.
If there was one thing Steve wouldn’t stand for, it was for anyone who shamed your relationship. There was nothing wrong with being attached to him, the truth was—he loved showing you off like this.
Loved when you sought him out first in a room.
Loved when you automatically climbed into his lap like that was your designated seat.
Loved when your hand reached for his without looking.
He loved that you depended on him. Not because you couldn’t do it yourself, but because you chose him constantly. And he used to be a man who felt replaceable every second of his life, but with you, he only knew what feeling permanent meant.
When the party left that night, you were still half asleep while he lazily stroked your hair.
“Stevie?” You asked.
“Hm?”
“Do you care that I’m clingy?”
Steve stared at you for a moment like the answer was the most obvious one in the world. Then he leaned down, pressing the softest of kisses to your forehead.
“Sweetheart,” he murmured against your skin. “You could cling to me forever and I still wouldn’t get tired of it.”
Your face flushed instantly, but his response sounded so genuine, relaxing you until your shoulders sagged.
warnings: drunkenness, trauma, angst, hurt/comfort, past abusive relationships, emotional distress,
Coming home drunk sends you spiraling into bad memories, but Steve’s determined to show you that love shouldn’t be earned
The apartment was dark when you stumbled through the front door. Not completely dark, there were soft amber lights spilling from the kitchen, enough to make your blurry vision squint. Your heels were dangling from your fingers,purse sliding off your shoulder while your friend's laughter still echoed faintly in your ears from the ride home.
You’d had too much to drink. Not blackout drunk—just the kind where your makeup was smudged enough to show you had let loose. Your limps felt heavy, and your thoughts were moving too fast but too slow all at once. You pushed the door shut behind you, leaning against it for balance, then froze.
You connected the pieces only then, the kitchen light, which meant Steve was home. Your stomach dropped so suddenly at the realization that a shiver ran up your spine.
Everything came rushing back to you at once, being in the same situation not so long ago, coming face to face with your ex-boyfriend's wrath. The shame he used to make you feel for having fun, it felt like a bucket of ice cold water was dunked over you.
Seriously? You’re drunk again?
You swallowed hard and hurried to set down your shoes as quietly as you could without being noticed. If you could just make it to the bathroom first—wash your face, drink some water, sober up as much as you can—
“Baby?” Steve’s voice called out.
It was warm and gentle, and made your entire body lock up. A second later, he rounded the corner wearing his usual pajamas, grey sweatpants and a dark shirt. But there were dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep while waiting for you, hair messed up having run his fingers through it multiple times. Concern instantly took over his features when his gaze fell on you, his face softening unexpectedly.
“There you are,” he sighed out of relief. “I was starting to get worried…”
He paused when he noticed the look on your face, brows scrunching together. Your breathing had changed, face paling and looking like a deer caught in headlights.
Steve immediately straightened and attempted to come a little closer, movements slow in order to not scare you. “Hey, did something happen?” His mind went to the worst possible outcomes, had you gotten hurt?
“N-Nothing.” You rushed out, but it didn’t calm his thoughts, you had never spoken to Steve like that before—so closed off.
Before he could come any closer you moved past him, avoiding his eye purposefully. The smell of alcohol followed you, Steve noticed, obviously, but his expression didn’t twist into irritation or disgust like you had been waiting for.
Instead, his pitch got softer, like everything made sense now. “Oh sweetheart.” He muttered. “You drank tonight?”
Your chest tightened and you instantly felt the need to defend yourself before he could attack you.
“So? Is there a problem with that?” You crossed your arms, but your words hadn’t come out as confident as you thought, slurring together slightly as you put all your effort into standing up straight.
Steve blinked, taken aback. “Is there supposed to be?” He slowly questioned, not sure why you were acting so strangely.
“I just wanted to, okay? I didn’t have too much I swear—I can—”
“Hey, slow down.” Steve stopped your panic momentarily, inching closer with his hands held out in front of him.
But you flinched anyway. “I’m sorry.” You blurted out, feeling like everything was crashing down on you.
Steve’s face fell while his heart shattered in tiny pieces at the sight of you breaking down. “Sweetheart…” he said quietly.
You stared down at the floor, humiliation festering inside of you while tears burned behind your eyes. “I know you don’t like it, but I can fix it, okay! I’ll—I’ll make it up to you, just please don’t be mad.”
“Mad?” Steve repeated, sounding genuinely startled.
The tears couldn’t be locked away any longer and began to spill out by themselves, because he didn’t understand.
He didn’t understand the apologies your ex demanded from you when you’d arrive late into the night. How small he’d make you feel for “embarrassing” him, and now your thoughts were unclear and slipping away from you until you couldn’t stop spiraling.
“I know,” you pleaded weakly. “I know I shouldn’t have gotten drunk and I—”
“Honey, look at me.” Steve interrupted, but you only shook your head.
“I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t—”
Steve couldn’t stand uselessly like this any longer while you buried yourself further into a hole of self-loathing, he gently placed a hand atop your shoulder, stopping you.
“I’m not upset with you.”
Your breathing refused to slow. “Yes, you are.”
“I’m not.”
“You will be.”
Steve stared at you for a long moment, before carefully taking your purse from your hands that had been clutched onto it so tightly unconsciously.
“You know what I want right now?” He said.
You wiped your tear stained cheeks, about to brace yourself. “What?”
“I want you to have some water.”
Your brows pulled together, still looking at him like you were waiting for the catch—for the frustration to bubble out of him.
“That’s it?”
“Thats it.” He guided you toward the couch with a hovering hand behind your back, not fully attaching itself until you leaned into it first.
You sat down shakily as he disappeared into the kitchen, hearing the cabinets opening then the sink running softly. No fists banging on countertops, no annoyed sighs.
When he returned, he crouched in front of you, holding a glass of water and a couple of pills with a smile on his face. “Something to make the hangover a bit easier tomorrow.”
Easier. Like that was all Steve wanted for you in life, even when you were battling against your worries he still thought about the little things.
You took the water and almost drank the whole thing, not having felt how exhausted you actually were until now.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” He said, and you started crying harder.
“Oh honey, c’mere.” You didn’t wait to fold instantly, your body physically and mentally giving out. Steve caught you as you collapsed into his arms, face hiding into his chest as sobs wracked through you.
He held you tightly through it all. “I forgot you were home and I got drunk and now you have to deal with me,” you didn’t hold back, only crying harder.
“I want to deal with you.” He rubbed up and down your back consolingly.
“He didn’t want to.”
Steve’s hand paused in your hair. “Who?”
“My ex…” you swallowed hard, feeling like even just talking about it was enough to bring him back. “He used to get really angry with me when I drank.”
Steve’s blood ran cold, going completely still as he allowed you to go on.
“He’d make me do things to make it up to him, and I’d have to apologize ‘cause he ‘put up with me.’”
Steve exhaled sharply through his nose at what things you meant, but he tightened his arms around you instinctively.
“Oh.” Was the only thing he could say in that moment, feeling a blow to his chest.
You nodded against him, “I thought you’d be mad at me too.” You whispered.
At that, Steve pulled back just enough to hold your face carefully in both hands, looking deeply in your eyes, you saw the way heartbreak was written all over him.
“Listen to me.” He said firmly, but not without softness.
“You never owe me anything just because you wanted to drink.” Your breath caught on the way out.
“And you never have to ‘make it up’ to me for being vulnerable. All I thought about when I saw you was taking care of you. Of bringing you water and changing your clothes and holding you in bed until you slept.” Steve let out a wet laugh.
“I don’t care that you got drunk.” He rested his forehead against yours, speaking low. “I care that you came home scared, and it broke me at the possibility that it was because of me.”
All you could concentrate on was Steve. On his heartfelt words, on his tone, on his sweet scent that invaded your senses, and on his hands that were touching you not out of entitlement, but out of concern.
He kissed your forehead then pressed another one in the same spot, lingering.
“You’re not mad?”
“I could never be. I’m mad for you.” He confessed, and a weak laugh escaped you.
His eyes crinkled at the sound, and he pulled you impossibly closer. “I love you.”
Afterwards, he helped you wash your face and change into one of his oversized shirts you loved so much, before tucking you carefully into bed,
You were sniffling when he climbed in beside you. He didn’t rush to touch you, only facing you while keeping some distance between your bodies.
“Want me closer?” He gave you the option, and you nodded once.
Steve opened his arms silently and you didn’t hesitate as you moved into them, feeling all his warmth seep through your once cold body.
You allowed your breathing to match his, chest falling up and down as he started a steady rhythm. “You’re safe with me.” He whispered as your eyes slowly began to fall shut, sounding like a promise.
And for the first time in a long time, you could believe it, because there was no safer place than in Steve’s arms.
- warning: pretending to handle everything better than you actually are will make you collapse!!! (literally)
- cw: reader faints
the thing nobody tells you about surviving the end of the world multiple times is that eventually your body stops understanding the difference between crisis and normal life.
after a while, panic just becomes routine. sleep becomes optional. eating becomes something you remember other people should probably do.
and grief... it settles into the walls beside you so quietly you almost stop noticing it there.
hawkins felt like that now. just heavy and wrong.
the sky split open above the town like a wound that refused to close, red lightning flickering through the cracks at night while everybody pretended they still knew how to live underneath it.
and somewhere in the middle of all that, you and steve had slowly started missing each other.
not physically but emotionally. like ships passing in fog.
because every second of every day belonged to someone else now.
max still hadn’t woken up.
lucas barely left her bedside unless somebody forced him to shower or sleep. you’d become good at sitting beside him in silence, rubbing slow circles against his back while he talked quietly to max like she could still hear him.
sometimes he read comic books out loud.
sometimes he cried.
sometimes he just stared at her unmoving hand for hours while the record that was already engraved in his head played again.
you stayed anyway.
steve was unraveling in his own quiet way.
ever since that doomed night, something inside him had changed shape.
he smiled less now. laughed less.
and every time dustin looked at him with that hollow kind of heartbreak children shouldn’t carry, steve wore this awful expression like he personally failed him somehow.
like he should’ve dragged eddie back alive with his bare hands.
you’d wake up some nights to steve gasping beside you, sheets twisted around his legs, eyes wide and disoriented from nightmares he never fully explained.
just flashes of bats, blood, and eddie.
and every time it happened, you stayed awake afterward just listening to him breathe because you were terrified he’d wake up hurting again.
which meant you stopped sleeping too.
not intentionally. it just… happened.
days blurred together after that. coffee instead of meals. catnaps in hospital chairs beside lucas pretending you were fine because everyone else seemed worse.
because how could you possibly complain about being tired when max was lying unconscious in a hospital bed and steve looked like grief was eating him alive from the inside out?
so you kept going.
and going.
and going.
until your body finally decided for you that it was done.
the WSQK building smelled faintly like dust, coffee, and overheated wires.
the station had become some weird combination of safehouse and command center over the last few weeks. maps taped to walls. radio equipment scattered across tables. half-empty soda cans everywhere because apparently nobody in hawkins knew how to clean up after themselves during the apocalypse.
robin sat cross-legged on the floor flipping through radio frequencies while nancy argued quietly with jonathan near the bulletin board.
steve leaned against the desk beside you, exhaustion carved deep into the corners of his face while dustin rambled about supply routes.
you hadn’t realized how dizzy you felt until the room tilted slightly.
you blinked hard. focused on the wall.
fine. you were fine.
“…and if we cut through kerley lane we can avoid most of the military checkpoints,” dustin continued.
steve shifted beside you.
his arm brushed yours lightly. you leaned into it for half a second without thinking. he noticed immediately. always.
you saw his eyes flick toward you briefly. concern flashing there before he looked back toward dustin.
“you okay?”
“mhm.”
a lie.
a bad one apparently because his eyebrows pulled together immediately.
before he could ask again, the room spun violently.
your stomach dropped.
then darkness rushed up too fast to stop.
voices came back first.
panicked ones.
“holy shit—”
“move, move—”
“hey! hey, sweetheart, c’mon—”
steve.
your eyes fluttered open slowly to find yourself half-curled against his chest on the floor.
his arms were locked around you so tightly it almost hurt.
good. you liked the pressure.
your head pounded.
“there she is,” robin breathed somewhere nearby.
steve looked wrecked.
actually wrecked.
his face had gone pale beneath the freckles scattered across his cheeks, panic still sitting wide-open in his eyes even after seeing you awake.
“baby,” he said immediately, voice rough. “talk to me.”
you frowned weakly. “m’fine.”
“you passed out.”
instead of replying back you just closed your eyes briefly against another wave of dizziness.
steve’s hand slid behind your neck immediately.
“hey, hey— eyes open.”
you obeyed mostly because his voice sounded so scared it made your chest ache.
nancy crouched beside the two of you.
“when’s the last time you ate?”
you hesitated.
which was apparently answer enough.
steve went very still beside you.
too still.
“today,” you answered weakly.
“what today?” robin asked suspiciously.
“…coffee?”
“oh my-,” she groaned.
nancy sighed softly. “sleep?”
your silence stretched too long.
steve looked down at you slowly.
and suddenly you knew.
he’d figured it out. all of it.
the staying awake after nightmares. the skipped meals. the way you kept quietly taking care of everybody while letting yourself disappear somewhere in the process.
his expression changed instantly.
fear melting into guilt so sharp it almost looked painful.
“jeez,” he whispered.
“i’m okay,” you tried again.
“no, you’re not.”
the words came out rough.
not angry.
worse.
upset.
robin looked between the two of you carefully now, piecing things together.
“wait,” she said slowly. “have you been sleeping at all?”
you looked away.
steve cursed quietly under his breath.
that got everyone’s attention immediately because steve rarely cursed like that unless he was genuinely overwhelmed.
he scrubbed a shaky hand over his face before looking back at you.
“why didn’t you tell me?”
“we already had enough going on.”
his face crumpled slightly at that.
like the answer physically hurt him.
nancy stood carefully.
“she probably needs actual food and rest before she tries that again.”
steve nodded immediately before helping you sit up slower this time, one arm firm around your waist.
protective to the point of ridiculousness.
not that you minded right now.
“we’re leaving,” he muttered.
robin softened instantly at the look on his face.
“hey,” she said gently. “she’s okay.”
steve nodded once.
but his grip on you tightened anyway.
the drive back was silent except for the soft hum of the heater.
you curled against the passenger seat with steve’s jacket draped over your lap while he drove one-handed, the other gripping the wheel hard enough his knuckles stayed pale the entire time.
you knew that silence.
it wasn’t anger. it was fear.
when he finally spoke, his voice came out rough around the edges.
“why didn’t you tell me?”
you stared out the window at the ruined streets sliding past.
“i told you. we already have enough going on.”
steve laughed once quietly. completely humorless.
“so your solution was to run yourself into the ground?”
“i’m fine.”
“you passed out.”
you flinched slightly at the sharpness in his voice.
his expression crumpled almost instantly afterward.
“shit,” he breathed softly. “i’m sorry. i’m not mad at you.”
you picked at the sleeve of his jacket quietly.
“kinda sounds like you are.”
“i’m mad at myself.”
that made you look at him.
his jaw tightened briefly before he spoke again.
“i didn’t even notice.”
your chest ached immediately. “steve—”
“you’ve been taking care of everybody,” he continued softly, eyes fixed on the road now. “lucas. max. me. and i just…” his throat bobbed hard. “i let you.”
the guilt in his voice felt unbearable.
you reached over instinctively, resting your hand against his arm. “you didn’t let me do anything.”
he finally glanced at you then. hurt sat so openly across his face it almost stole your breath.
“you stay awake after my nightmares.”
not a question.
your silence answered for you.
steve’s grip tightened painfully on the wheel.
“baby…”
“i didn’t want you waking up alone.”
his expression broke completely at that. because of course that was your reason.
not obligation.
love.
stupid, self-sacrificing love.
you looked down at your lap quietly. “you’ve been having a hard time.”
steve pulled into your driveway but didn’t turn the engine off. instead he just sat there staring forward for a long second before finally whispering,
“so have you.”
that hit harder than expected.
because nobody had really said it.
everyone just assumed you were handling things better because you were quieter about it.
your eyes burned instantly.
“hey.” his voice softened completely now. “c’mere.”
the second he opened his arms, you climbed across the console into him.
exhaustion hit all at once after that.
your body practically melted against his chest while steve wrapped both arms around you so tightly it bordered on desperate.
one hand slid into your hair.
the other rubbed slowly up and down your spine.
“i’m sorry,” you whispered against his shoulder.
“no.” he shook his head immediately. “none of that.”
“i just didn’t wanna make things harder for you.”
his arms tightened painfully around you.
“you passing out in front of me was definitely harder for me.”
a weak laugh escaped you.
steve kissed the side of your head immediately afterward like he needed the reassurance.
“you know you don’t have to earn taking care of yourself, right?” he murmured quietly.
your throat tightened.
because that was the problem, wasn’t it?
everyone needed something from you lately.
lucas needed comfort.
max needed hope.
steve needed someone awake beside him after nightmares.
and somewhere along the way you’d started treating your own needs like optional things you could come back to later.
except later never came.
you pressed your face closer into his neck.
“i was scared if i slept you’d have another nightmare.”
steve actually made the saddest sound at that. his hand cradled the back of your head carefully.
“baby, i’d rather wake up from a hundred nightmares than have you destroy yourself trying to protect me from them.”
tears burned behind your eyes immediately.
he pulled back just enough to look at you then, both hands warm against your face.
“you matter too,” he said softly, firmly. “not less than everybody else. not after everybody else. too.”
your lips trembled.
steve brushed his thumb beneath one of your eyes before it could fall.
“i need you taking care of yourself,” he whispered. “because i love you. because i can’t lose you too.”
too.
the word hung heavy between you both.
you finally understood then. this wasn’t just fear from today. steve had been watching people slip through his fingers for years now.
he couldn’t handle almost losing you too.
you leaned forward first, pressing your forehead against his. “you’re not gonna lose me.”
his eyes shut briefly. “then stop scaring the shit outta me.”
a watery laugh escaped you.
“okay.”
“okay?” he repeated skeptically.
“okay,” you whispered again.
steve looked at you for another long second before nodding once, satisfied enough for now.
then immediately slipping back into caretaker mode.
“alright.” he brushed your hair back gently. “here’s what’s gonna happen.”
you smiled faintly. “bossy.”
“extremely.” he kissed your forehead once. “you’re eating real food, taking a shower, and sleeping for at least twelve hours.”
“steve—”
“non-negotiable.”
you rolled your eyes weakly.
he softened instantly at the sight of it.
finally.
there she is.
he kissed your temple this time.
then your cheek.
then the corner of your mouth.
all soft and careful and lingering.
like love translated best through touch when words stopped being enough.
“i got you,” he murmured quietly against your skin.
and for the first time in months, you let yourself stop holding everything alone.
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