PSA: TO THOSE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND EATING DISORDERS
In the past week I heard multiple things from not only my family, my friends, but people in the public eye that are completely blatantly ignorant.
1. “If my child had an eating disorder I would know”– NO YOU WON’T people with eating issues do not seek help all the time. They can eat a consistent meals in front of you every day. You want to know what they do? They spend all night working out. They throw it up ( known as purging). They see calories as a number yes, they are eating meals but they aren’t doing daily activities only. The working out burns calories and kills enough fat to cause weight loss or keep a steady weight. Not only do they do this but they can store food. They can give away food. I used to pack food away and give it to friends so it was out of sight. I made it a statement to always ask someone if they wanted some when I ate so I could lose calories. I would eat 3 meals a day but make sure they all went up to 800 calories or 1000. The daily value for me is 1,200. I would eat always in front of people in school so they thought “she is always eating” when in reality I would go home and work out the calories or starve myself all weekend. I would hide food in drawers. If my friends offered me food I would say yes, take a bite, pretend to eat it, throw out the item, hide it in my hoodie or in my purse. It is not a game to us. I have even shoved whole things into MY BRA to hide them.
2, “You do not look like you have an eating disorder you are fine” – Okay this is just wrong. If you have an eating disorder you already see yourself as flawed. This shows to them you think they look the same all the time. An Eating disordered person can eat and work out or throw up and lose 3 pounds. Those three pounds are a HUGE DEAL to them. Three turns into 9 and then 15 and then when they are half way in the grave blame yourself for telling them they were fine. 1 in 5 eating disordered people die. THAT IS MORE THAN ANY OTHER EATING DISORDER. SOMEONE COULD LOOK FINE BUT JUST ABOUT EVERY NIGHT LAY DOWN WITH A PLASTIC BAG NEAR THEM AND PUKE OUT FOOD. THEY CAN OVEREAT A WHOLE GROCERY STORE AND THEN WORK OUT FOR 7 HOURS AND BE MENTALLY DRAINED BUT PHYSICALLY LOOK AMAZING.
3. “WHY WOULD YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER YOU ARE SKINNY OR NORMAL LOOKING”– Let me tell you that an eating disorder impacts someone’s mind over anything. It is not just “oh I look fat today”. It is reading calorie labels. It is them having anxiety over eating a piece of bread or being offered food.
4. “You are always eating”– I have had multiple say this to me. I EAT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE TO SEEM NORMAL. I always do this. I eat in front of people so I can gain the satisfaction of nobody asking questions. This isn’t skins. I do not openly starve myself. (Not until this post comes out then all of you know I guess).
5. “Aren’t you recovered though”– WELL YOU SEE THE THING IS an eating disorder is like a drug addiction. You could be perfectly fine but when the time comes you can just get hooked back on. You can go eating guilt free for months then go on a date and see food and feel that anger, guilt, and obsession all over again.
6. “Why would you do that to yourself”– You see we do not do this to ourselves purposely because honestly do you purposely forget to put earrings in? Do you purposely drop your phone. It just happens during the moment I am not just like, “oh jeez cassie you really need to stop thinking like this”. NO!!!!!
7.”Stop being so sensitive”– Okay well if I came up to you and said:
“Do you really need to eat that?”
“I always see you eating is that all you do?”
“You are looking chubbier or you gained weight!”
“Wow you aren’t even that skinny?”
“This girl is smaller than you!”
YOU WOULD BE PISSED WE JUST SEE IT AS EXTRA INSULTING.
Lastly, to top off this rant. I feel that if someone comes to you asking for help do not deny help. Do not call them crazy. Do not tell them they are weird or that therapists will do nothing but give them pills. Do not ignore the subject. Do not tell them they are dumb. NO NOT ACT LIKE THEY AREN’T REALLY VALID. I had multiple people tell me I am crazy. I am stupid. THEY TOLD ME THAT I WAS A BAD PERSON. THAT I DO NOT NEED HELP. THAT I AM NOT SKINNY ENOUGH. THAT I AM STILL NORMAL LOOKING. THAT THEY WOULD KNOW IF I HAD IT. THAT I JUST NEED TO LEARN TO THINK I AM BEAUTIFUL. LAUGH AT ME. TELL ME THAT I AM BIGGER THAN MY COUSINS. THAT I SHOULD NOT “DO THIS” BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO END UP LIKE THOSE MODELS. That if I am going to eat so much I should pay for it. That I am a walking garbage can. Tonight I have had enough with these comments. I am sick and tired of acting like this is normal. I shouldn’t be told my needs and begging is wrong. I just get all this side eye. Do not worry when the time comes they will all realize it is not my fault. I sure as hell wish I could not be this way.
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