I hate doing this because I'm sure you get these a lot, but I am having trouble figuring out my kintype. I don't know how I "feel" so here are some physical facts about me if you do find the time to answer this. I have hyper-mobility in all my joints and the positions I take naturally look so unnatural as to cause people to be grossed out. i.e. I put my hand on a surface and lean on that arm and my elbow turns around the wrong way. I go to sleep laying flat and normal and wake up (cont.)
(cont.) cross-legged and bent completely over. I couldn’t eat meat until I turned 17 without being sick, but I have grown to actually enjoy the taste now and eat like a normal person almost. I can memorize things very quickly i.e. random facts and strings of numbers up to about a hundred digits easily. I am also very good at languages (probably due to the memory thing) and speak four languages fairly well. I know this is probably useless, but I have always felt out of place and I’d love answers
Thank you for taking the time to contact me. It’s very thoughtful and I always appreciate hearing from people.
However, I’m afraid I can’t really help you when it comes to what your kintype may be because that is something that you need to figure out yourself.
I will say that, typically, physical conditions or features aren’t necessarily something that should be used to justify or define your kintype. Otherkinity is a personal or spiritual identity and is not really defined by physical features. Although there can sometimes be fun coincidences, as a rule of thumb I’d advise against using your physical features and habits as a basis for determining your kin-type for this reason.
There’s not really a checklist of things that can or should define what kintype a person is. I can’t tell you what you are either. Instead I’d encourage that this is a time when you really get to know yourself. Spend time thinking on why you think you might be otherkin in the first place. Think about why that identity appeals to you, or feels like it fits. Consider alternatives as well. It’s perfectly fine to think you might be kin only to discover you’re not.
Take as much time as you need to think on these questions then give yourself some space to go off and do other things. Put it on the back burner for at least a week or so, then reapproach the questions. Do so until you feel comfortable with the decisions you have come to.
Writing your thoughts down might also help. I find writing is a very good tool for helping us get our thoughts down in a way that, perhaps, we wouldn’t have considered if we’d left it in the realms of thought.
Anything from brainstorming to structured essays to just sitting down and writing out what you’re thinking until you can’t write no more. It all helps. Find what works for you and go with it. If nothing else this will give you a record of your thought processes to look back on whenever you’re re-evaluating your otherkinity in the years to come (and, trust me, you probably will do that).
If you think on these things for a fair time and decide that, yes, you are sure you’re kin, then it’s time to think on what your kin-type may be (that is if your thought processes haven’t already helped with that dilema up until this point).
I’m not going to lie. Figuring out your kintype can be a complicated and time-consuming process. But, at the end of the day, you’re doing it for your own peace-of-mind and well-being, so of course you want to get it right.
The first step is really research. Go to various otherkin websites and look into the various types of kin and how they present themselves.Looks into the more traditional lore and mythology for each of the kintypes and see if any of these resonate with you.
Go onto forums (reputable ones), as they will be invaluable. When on forums don’t ask people what your kintype may be. Instead look around the different sections and, again, see how each kintype presents themselves, what they talk about, what they experience. Don’t feel like you need to be an outside either. If you can participate in conversations then do so. Get involved in a solid community and learn what you can about what being otherkin means to them.
Then, after a while of doing this, it’s time for a familiar stage. Take the time to think about what your kintype may be. Think about which kintypes resonated with you while you were researching and participating in the forums, think about which kintypes didn’t. As yourself why this might be. Generally think about what you felt fit you. Not on a physical level but on a personal or spiritual level (depending on your beliefs).
Write your thoughts down and take a break from thinking about it. Clear your head, do other activities, spend time with friends. You can still post on the forums but the key is to let yourself change pace enough that you can reapproach your issues again with a different perspective and see if they’re still relevant after some time.
Do the same thing. Think on your kintype. If you’ve narrowed it down further then feel free to do further research into your possible kintype too. Just don’t make any solid decisions until you’ve been able to step away from the situation a fair few times and reapproach it to see if your feeling are still relevant.
After doing this for as long as it takes you may come to the conclusion that you’re not an otherkin after all or you may have discovered your kintype.
The important thing is to focus on your own personal journey. Focus on what you feel and what you experience rather than what others tell you. There are a fair few people out there who will try and give you a checklist of traits, or who will try and guess your kintype or straight up tell you what they think your kintype is. Ignore them.
The most important thing about discovering your kintype is that it’s a personal experience which allows you to discover something about yourself. If someone tries to tell you what your kintype is then they’re essentially saying that they know you better than you know yourself, and they’re inadvertently disrupting and devaluing your own personal journey. On both counts that’s not good. I find it to be rather disrespectful actually.
Anyway as a final thought I’m going to say don’t be dissuaded if this can take a long time. There’s no quick-fix answer to finding your kintype and, really, their shouldn’t be. Some find out their kintype in a few weeks, some take years, but it’s always worth it for the sense of relief and ‘rightness’ that you’ll (hopefully) eventually come to. It’s much better to take the time to discover the right identity for you than to rush it and find yourself identifying as a kintype and feeling just as unhappy or unsatisfied as you did when you didn’t know because you’re still essentially struggling with the same problems.
I hope some of this has helped, even though it may not have been the answer you’d hoped for. Once again, thank you for taking the time to contact me. Good luck on your awakening and I hope that, at the end of it all, you find yourself with an identity that leaves you feeling more at ease with yourself.
