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worst roommate ever

pairings → jschlatt x reader.

warnings → angst, mentions of sex.

summary → y/n’s new roommate is rude, annoying, and impossible to live with, but somewhere between the arguments and late nights, she starts realizing maybe jschlatt isn’t as much of an asshole as she thought.

“He just needs a place for like a month” laura said over the phone earlier that week. “His apartment’s getting renovated or something. He’s a friend of a friend, he’s clean, he works all the time, you’ll barely even notice he’s there.”

y/n agreed without further questions, Mostly because New York rent was criminal and having someone cover part of it for a month sounded nice.

And honestly, she liked having people around.

Her apartment was usually too quiet anyway.

So now she stood by the front door watching a very tall, broad guy drag a duffel bag into her apartment without a smile on his face.

Not nervous.

Not awkward.

Just deeply unimpressed by everything around him.

“…So…pink” he said finally.

Y/n blinked.

Mind you, the only pink thing in the room was the couch.

what had she gotten herself into.

She let out a small awkward laugh anyway.

“Yeah” she said. “It’s my favorite color.”

The silence after that stretched just long enough to become uncomfortable.

“Well” she said. “Your room’s down here.” walking down the hallway.

He followed behind her quietly.

The guest room wasn’t huge, but she’d tried to make it look nice before he arrived. Fresh sheets, clean desk, one of the lamps from the living room moved in there so it didn’t look depressing.

He stepped inside, setting his bag down beside the bed.

Then he just nodded once.

That was it.

Y/n didn’t know why she’d expected a thank you.

She leaned lightly against the doorframe instead.

“If you need anything” she said, “I’m down the hall.”

Without even looking at her while unzipping his bag, he answered, “I doubt I’ll need anything.”

Y/n stared at the side of his head for a second.

God, he was such an asshole.

She pressed her lips together, forcing herself not to say anything.

Instead she just nodded once.

“Okay then.”

And with that, she turned and walked out, shutting the guest room door behind her before heading straight to her own room.

The second her bedroom door closed, she grabbed her phone.

Laura answered almost immediately.

“I’m going to kill you” were the first words to fly out of y/n’s mouth.

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The first few days of living with Schlatt taught Y/n two things very quickly.

One, he was actually a surprisingly decent roommate.

And two, he was still unbelievably irritating.

He cleaned up after himself, never left dishes in the sink, barely made noise, and spent most of his time shut away in the guest room. Sometimes she’d forget he was even there until she heard heavy footsteps down the hallway at two in the morning.

Tonight, Y/n sat at the kitchen counter with her laptop open in front of her, fingers hovering tiredly over the keyboard while some random YouTube video played quietly from her phone beside her.

The apartment was dark except for the small light above the stove.

She was halfway through fixing an email when she heard a door open down the hall.

A second later, Schlatt walked into the kitchen wearing sweatpants and an old hoodie.

He looked half asleep.

He didn’t say anything at first. Just walked straight to the fridge and opened it, staring inside for a few seconds.

Then he sighed.

“Do you ever go grocery shopping?”

Y/n’s fingers paused over her keyboard.

“There’s pizza in there if you’re hungry” she said, already feeling herself getting irritated.

“Yeah, like two slices.”

Something about his tone made her jaw tighten.

“Well, sorry if my fridge isn’t up to your standards.”

He shut the fridge with a little more force than necessary.

“I’m just saying there’s no actual food in here.”

“You know you live here too, right?”

“I’ve been busy.”

Y/n looked up from her laptop finally.

“Oh, and I haven’t?”

He let out a slow breath through his nose, like she was already exhausting him, which only made her irritation worse.

“Why are you getting defensive?”

“Because every time you speak it sounds like you’re criticizing something.”

“Well I’m not” he said. “It was just an observation.”

Y/n laughed once under her breath, but there wasn’t anything amused about it.

“You don’t have to be such an asshole all the time, you know.”

That actually made him pause.

He looked at her properly for the first time since walking into the kitchen.

“…I’m not trying to be.”

“Well you’re doing a fantastic job anyway.”

Before he could answer, Y/n shut her laptop with a sharp snap and stood up from the counter.

Schlatt frowned slightly as she grabbed it.

“Where are you going?”

She looked at him like the answer was obvious.

“My room. Where else?”

Then she walked past him and down the hallway without another word.

A second later, her bedroom door shut, leaving Schlatt standing alone in the kitchen.

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The next afternoon, Y/n came home exhausted.

The meeting she’d spent all morning stressing over had dragged on almost two hours longer than it was supposed to, and all she wanted now was to change into sweatpants and go lay in bed for the rest of the night.

She dropped her bag by the couch and walked towards the kitchen, already reaching for the fridge handle before she pulled it open and paused.

The fridge was full.

Not kinda full.

Actually full.

Containers stacked neatly on one shelf, drinks lined up properly, fruit in the drawers, frozen stuff shoved into the freezer above.

Y/n just stared at it for a second.

Then she noticed the sticky note stuck to the fridge door.

You’re welcome.

She immediately closed her eyes.

“Oh my god” she muttered to herself.

Not because he bought groceries.

That part actually would’ve been nice.

It was the note.

The stupid fucking note.

it felt so condensing.

She ripped the sticky note off the fridge, crumpled it in her fist, and tossed it onto the counter.

Then, out of pure stubbornness, she grabbed absolutely nothing from the fridge.

Not the drinks.

Not the snacks.

Nothing.

Instead she ordered takeout an hour later.

By the time Schlatt got home that night, the apartment was quiet.

He dropped his keys onto the counter before opening the fridge.

Everything looked basically untouched.

He frowned slightly.

A little while later, he heard Y/n’s bedroom door open.

She walked into the kitchen in oversized pajama pants and a tank top, barely acknowledging him as she grabbed her water bottle off the counter.

Schlatt leaned back against the fridge.

“You haven’t used anything.”

Y/n unscrewed the lid to her bottle.

“What?”

“The groceries.”

She glanced at the fridge for half a second before looking back at the sink.

“Oh.”

Then she shrugged.

“It’s yours, why would I?”

Schlatt stared at her.

“…I bought it for the apartment.”

Y/n let out a quiet laugh at that.

“You left a ‘you’re welcome’ note on the fridge, Schlatt.”

“It was a joke.”

“well it didn’t feel like one”

He actually looked a little offended.

“jesus- you’re impossible you know that?”

Y/n turned the faucet on.

“I’m impossible?” she repeated with a short sarcastic laugh. “That’s funny, Schlatt.”

“Why are you mad?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused now. “I thought I was doing something nice.”

“It was nice until you left that passive aggressive note on the fridge.”

“It wasn’t passive aggressive.”

“It literally said ‘you’re welcome.’”

“Yeah” he said, “because you were complaining there was no food.”

Y/n turned toward him immediately.

“I was complaining about YOU.”

That shut him up for a second.

She tightened the lid onto her bottle before setting it down on the counter and pointing at him.

“See? This is what I mean” she said. “You do this thing where you act like everything you say is completely objective and everyone else is just crazy for reacting to it.”

Schlatt crossed his arms.

“You are overreacting.”

Y/n just stared at him.

Then she nodded once slowly.

“There it is again” she said quietly. “I can’t do this, Schlatt.”

Before he could respond, she turned and walked out of the kitchen.

A second later, her bedroom door shut down the hall, leaving him standing there alone.

Again.

The apartment went quiet.

Schlatt stayed where he was for a moment before his eyes dropped to the water bottle she’d left sitting on the counter.

He stared at it.

Then, with a quiet sigh, he grabbed it and headed down the hallway to her room.

Schlatt lifted his hand to knock.

Then paused.

He stood there for a second staring at the door, thinking about the look on her face in the kitchen.

How tired she’d sounded.

The last thing he wanted right now was to annoy her even more.

Slowly, he lowered his hand again.

After another second, he leaned down and set the bottle carefully on the floor outside her door before turning and walking back down the hallway.

A few hours later, Y/n finally remembered she’d left her water bottle in the kitchen.

With a tired sigh, she opened her bedroom door

and nearly tripped over it.

She looked down quickly.

Her bottle sat on the floor right outside her room.

Y/n stared at it for a second before realizing Schlatt must’ve been the one who brought it over.

Something weird twisted in her chest for a moment.

She ignored it immediately.

Then she bent down, grabbed the bottle, and went back into her room, shutting the door behind her quietly.

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she didn’t know why she went on that stupid blind date, she’d been in such a dry spell she thought that maybe this would be good.

bad is an understatement.

The guy spent the first twenty minutes talking about himself.

The next twenty talking about his ex.

And somehow, unbelievably, it still got worse.

At one point she mentioned ordering dessert and he laughed a little before saying,

“yeah you don’t seem like the type to say no to sweets.”

By the end of the date, Y/n genuinely felt sick with embarrassment.

So now she stood outside her apartment door past midnight trying very hard not to cry over some random asshole she’d known for less than two hours.

Which honestly just made her feel worse.

She shoved the front door open harder than necessary before kicking her shoes off near the couch, eyes already burning in that awful way that told her if someone spoke to her right now she’d probably cry.

The apartment was dark except for the kitchen light.

Schlatt looked up from where he stood by the counter the second she walked in.

“…Jesus” he said immediately. “What happened to you?”

“Not the time” she muttered quickly, already walking toward the hallway.

“The date was that bad?”

“Schlatt.”

“What’d he do?”

Y/n kept walking. “I seriously do not wanna talk right now.”

Instead of letting it go, he followed after her.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s bullshit.”

Before she could reach her room, Schlatt stepped in front of her, blocking the hallway.

Y/n looked up at him immediately, already irritated and emotional enough that it felt overwhelming all at once.

“Schlatt, get the hell out of my face.”

“No” he said easily. “I think I’m good right here.”

She stared at him in disbelief.

“You are so unbelievably annoying.” she said, her voice slightly shaking now.

“And you look like you’re about five seconds away from crying, so clearly something happened.”

Y/n immediately looked away at that.

For a second he just looked at her.

Then, quieter this time, he said “What did he do? did he say something to you?”

Y/n laughed once under her breath, but it sounded awful. Embarrassed more than amused.

“Apparently ordering dessert was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.”

Schlatt frowned immediately.

“What?”

“He made some comment about it. Said something like you don’t seem like the type to say no to sweets.” she said quickly, shrugging like she didn’t care even though her voice was already tightening. “Whatever. It doesn’t even matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t. That’s a shitty thing to say.”

“Can you move?”

“No.”

Y/n let out a frustrated breath, looking away from him.

Schlatt’s expression softened slightly then. “Hey” he said quieter this time. “talk to me”

“He spent the entire night talking to me like I was so stupid” she admitted quietly. “And every time I actually knew what I was talking about, he looked surprised by it, like it surprised him that I was actually intelligent”

Schlatt stared at her for a second.

“…So he was a moron.”

Despite herself, her mouth twitched slightly.

“He also spent twenty minutes talking about crypto.”

“Oh, so like clinically a moron.”

That got a laugh out of her.

A small one, but enough.

Schlatt noticed immediately.

A little smile pulled at the corner of his mouth before he looked down at her again.

“He had no idea what he was talking about” he said. “He’s an idiot, okay?”

Y/n looked down for a second, arms still crossed tightly over herself.

“i know..It still sucked though”

“Yeah” Schlatt said quietly. “I know.”

For a moment neither of them said anything.

Then, finally, Schlatt stepped back, moving out of the doorway and giving her room to get to her door again.

“Go to bed” he said. “You’ll feel less awful tomorrow.”

“Thanks” she said softly. “Goodnight, Schlatt.”

She smiled just a little before disappearing into her room.

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The next couple of days felt…different.

Not drastically.

Schlatt was still annoying.

Y/n was still convinced he enjoyed arguing just to argue.

But something had shifted slightly after that night in the hallway.

The apartment felt less tense now.

Less like two strangers trying not to step on each other’s toes.

It started with little things.

Y/n came home one afternoon to find takeout sitting on the kitchen counter.

No note this time.

Just her favorite order from the place down the street.

When she looked at him from across the living room, confused, Schlatt barely glanced up from his phone.

“They gave me two bags by accident.”

She stared at him for a second.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Eat your food.”

They still bickered constantly.

If anything, maybe more than before.

But now it felt different.

Lighter.

Like neither of them actually expected the other person to leave halfway through the conversation anymore.

One night, Schlatt was sitting on the couch editing something on his laptop while Y/n lay sprawled across the other end watching some awful reality show.

“This cannot be real” Schlatt muttered eventually, finally looking up from his screen.

Y/n looked over immediately.

“Oh, it’s real” she said. “These people are deeply unwell.”

Schlatt stared at the screen for another second. “You watch this voluntarily?”

Y/n grinned a little, shifting further into the couch cushions. “Mhmm course I do, it’s entertaining” she said she opened her laptop to work. “Hey i actually need a second opinion on something if you have the time” she added.

Schlatt shut his laptop halfway, “sure on what?”

Y/n turned her laptop toward him from across the couch.

“I had to edit these promo pictures for work and I can’t tell if I’ve been staring at them too long or if they actually look weird.”

he squinted immediately. “I can’t see shit from over here.”

“Then come look at it, grandpa.”

He gave her an unimpressed look but shifted anyway, moving across the couch until he dropped down beside her.

Close beside her.

Closer than he meant to, probably.

Y/n suddenly became very aware of it.

The warmth of his shoulder against hers.

She swallowed once and tried to focus on the phone in her hand instead.

“See?” she said quietly, pulling up the picture again. “Does the lighting look weird?”

Schlatt leaned closer to look.

His arm pressed against hers fully now.

For a second he actually focused on the photo.

Then his eyes flicked upward toward her instead.

And kind of stayed there.

Y/n looked up at the exact wrong moment.

The apartment suddenly felt way too quiet.

Schlatt’s eyes dropped briefly to her lips before he caught himself.

“I-it’s good” he said finally, voice lower now. Rougher somehow.

“Yeah?” she asked softly.

Her eyes flicked down to his mouth for half a second before meeting his eyes again.

“Yeah” he whispered.

Neither of them moved.

The reality show kept playing quietly in the background completely ignored now.

Y/n could actually hear her own heartbeat.

Schlatt looked at her for another few seconds.

“Schlatt” she whispered.

“Yeah?” he whispered back immediately.

Her eyes flicked down to his mouth before she could stop herself.

For a second neither of them moved at all, like both of them were waiting for the other person to change their mind first.

But Y/n didn’t move away.

And neither did he.

Slowly, Schlatt lifted one hand, almost hesitant for the first time since she’d met him, brushing his fingers lightly against the side of her face.

“Tell me to stop” he said quietly.

The fact that he asked nearly ruined her.

Instead of answering, Y/n grabbed the front of his hoodie and pulled him towards her, pressing her lips to his.

It wasn’t graceful.

They bumped into each other a little at first, awkward only because of how sudden it was, but then Schlatt made this quiet surprised sound against her mouth before kissing her back properly.

And god.

He kissed like he argued.

Confident. Intense. Like he wanted the last word.

His hand slid to her jaw carefully, thumb brushing against her cheek while hers stayed tangled in the fabric of his hoodie.

Y/n shifted closer without thinking, one of her knees brushing against his leg as she kissed him passionately.

Schlatt’s hand tightened slightly against her jaw before sliding down to her waist.

Then suddenly he was pulling her towards him.

Y/n let out a soft startled gasp against his mouth as he lifted her easily, guiding her onto his lap against the couch cushions without breaking the kiss for more than half a second.

“Jesus christ” she whispered breathlessly, hands instinctively grabbing onto his shoulders.

A quiet grin pulled at the corner of his mouth for just a second before he kissed her again.

One of his hands rested against her waist while the other stayed warm against the side of her neck, thumb brushing lightly against her skin every few seconds like he couldn’t stop touching her now that he’d started.

Eventually Schlatt pulled back just enough to look at her properly.

Her hair was messy now, lips slightly swollen, cheeks warm from kissing him.

He stared at her for a second too long.

“What?” she whispered, smiling a little.

He shook his head once, still looking at her like he was trying to figure something out.

Then, quieter this time, like it slipped out before he could stop it. “You’re really beautiful, you know that?”

Y/n’s breath caught slightly.

And then she felt it, felt him under her.

Her eyes flicked downward for half a second before immediately looking back at him again.

A slow smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“Oh? I’m that beautiful?” she whispered.

Schlatt’s eyes dropped away from hers immediately, the slightest bit of embarrassment flashing across his face.

Y/n shifted slightly against his lap on purpose this time, and the low sound that left his throat almost made her lose composure completely.

“So…” she said softly, leaning closer until her lips barely brushed his. “You gonna take me to your room, big guy?”

Schlatt stared at her for a second like his brain had completely short circuited.

Then, without another word, his hands tightened around her waist as he stood up from the couch with her still in his arms.

Y/n let out a surprised laugh immediately, instinctively grabbing onto his shoulders.

Schlatt pushed his bedroom door open with one hand before carrying her inside, kicking it shut behind him.

Y/n’s smile softened slightly at the look on his face.

“What?” she whispered.

He shook his head once.

“You keep looking at me like that…” he murmured, putting her down and stepping closer until the back of her legs brushed the edge of the bed, “and I’m gonna forget how to act like a normal person.”

Y/n tilted her head slightly, looking up at him.

“Yeah?” she whispered.

Schlatt’s hand settled against her waist again, warm and steady, but she could still see the restraint in the way he held himself back.

So she leaned a little closer. “Then show me what you got”

the last bit of composure he had left disappeared completely.

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It had been almost a week now.

A week of stolen kisses in the kitchen while waiting for coffee to brew.

a week of making out on the couch while a movie played in the background.

A week of waking up tangled in his sheets after swearing she’d go back to her own room.

It felt weirdly domestic.

Y/n would come home exhausted from work and find him already in the kitchen making something lazy for dinner, complaining dramatically the entire time while she laughed at him from the counter.

Sometimes they’d eat on the couch.

Sometimes at the kitchen island.

Sometimes dinner got completely forgotten because one of them kissed the other halfway through a conversation and suddenly nothing else mattered anymore.

It should’ve felt temporary.

But it didn’t.

That was the problem.

Because there was only one week left before he moved back to his apartment.

One week before this ended.

And Y/n hated how much that thought had started sitting heavily in her chest.

Tonight, the room was quiet except for the faint sound of rain against the windows.

Y/n lay curled against Schlatt’s bare chest, one of his arms loosely around her while his fingers traced absentminded patterns against her shoulder.

“what are you thinking about, toots?” he asked quietly, looking down at her.

“hmm?” she murmured, pulling herself out of her thoughts.

“I said what are you thinking about?” he repeated, brushing a piece of hair back away from her face.

Y/n hesitated for a second.

Then she sat up slowly, pulling the blankets with her to cover herself as she shifted to face him properly.

Schlatt’s expression changed immediately when he noticed the look on her face.

“what’s going to happen when you move out?” she asked suddenly.

For a second he just looked at her.

“what do you mean?”

Y/n looked down briefly at the blanket gathered in her hands before forcing herself to continue.

“you know what I mean, schaltt” she said quietly. “Like what’s gonna happen with…us. If there even is an us.”

God, even saying it out loud made her feel stupid.

Vulnerable in a way she hated.

Schlatt sat up properly then too, leaning back against the headboard as he looked at her.

“okay first of all” he said immediately, brows pulling together slightly, “of course there’s an us. Did you think this was just sex?”

Y/n looked at him carefully.

“no” she admitted softly. “Did you?”

“Hell no” he said so fast it almost made her laugh. “Y/n, I actually really like you.”

Something warm twisted painfully in her chest at that.

Her smile turned small and almost shy.

“you do?”

“yeah” he said, looking at her like the answer should’ve been obvious by now. “Even when I move back to my apartment, I wanna keep seeing you.”

Y/n felt herself relax slightly for what felt like the first time all night.

Schlatt rubbed the back of his neck once before continuing.

“I was actually thinking I’d take you out on the last night I’m here” he admitted. “Been trying to figure out how to ask without sounding stupid.”

That made her laugh quietly.

“You? Sounding stupid? Never.”

“shut up” he muttered automatically with a small laugh.

Y/n smiled, moving closer again until she was back against his chest.

Schlatt wrapped an arm around her immediately, pulling her against him like it was instinct now.

After a second he pressed a kiss lightly against the top of her head.

“for the record” he murmured quietly, “I’ve been freaking out about this too.”

Y/n tilted her head up slightly. “Really?”

“Yeah” he said. “Thought maybe you’d wake up one day and realize I was annoying as hell and kick me out before the month was even over.”

She laughed softly against his chest.

“You are annoying as hell.”

“Yeah, see?”

“But” she said quietly, looking up at him again, “I kinda like you anyway.”

The smile that pulled at the corner of Schlatt’s mouth that looked almost unfairly soft.

“Good” he murmured before kissing her slowly.

author’s note: first time writing for schlatt kinda nervous…also I am on a trip and haven’t proof read this so excuse me if there’s any mistakes :p

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